Don't shake the embryo, Gon!
by Bdaman lover4ever
Summary: Killua scoffed, "First of all, killing people is my profession. NOT A FLAW. NOT A HOBBY. IT'S A JOB. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO WHAT YOU LOVE...if you have a problem with dirty money, then I guess you're married to the wrong guy." Gon murmured, "Or crazy just attracts crazy." Then without hesitation, Killua slammed his lips right on top of Gon's. (KilluGon, mpreg, it's pretty funny)
1. Don't shake the embryo Gon! (1)

This was a conundrum, one where a caveat would have been nice in advance. It was such a shame that none had came to Killua's aid. His family still had yet to make an effort to even care about him, ( _He was starting to believe they were in the mindset of: "Fuck him! He's 16 years old he can care for himself._ ") When in reality Killua felt like he was losing control, like his life had completely hit rock bottom.

Like if rock bottom wasn't actually him gearing up to slam a homophobic asshole in the face, then he didn't know what was. Because currently Killua was about to do just that. He was gonna kill a homophobic mother fucker—then he was going to successfully finish off his date with Gon and confess his love to him.

Yeah, Killua was totally about to do just that. He was going to knock some sense into the man his pale fingers clinged around stretching the man's shirt. The crazy man steadily instigating even with Killua ready to break him.

The man chanted out, "Bet you won't hit me!" "BET YOU WONT HIT ME! BET YOU WONT HIT ME!" He was screaming really loudly forcing heads to turn and look at them unable to pull away.

"Why you... I'll kill you. Worst than a damn hit." Killua grit his teeth together. No longer was he willing to give this man a second shot. He was Killua _fucking_ Zoldyck. The best assassin the world has ever seen and he could not let a transgression like this slide on his time.

"Somebody hit someone!" A random voice in the crowd called as they started to circle around them.

"Come on the worst type of fight is when people instigate and don't fight! So come on! I wanna see some blood!" Another called out only to throw in, "But 10 bucks on the gay one!"

Killua's mouth curled up into a crooked pissed off smirk, "Oh so… I'm just the gay one? Do any of you imbalanced uncultured foolish swines actually know who I am?"

"Mmm..." A smaller boy pushed through the crowd, he was strong enough to shove a few people out the way. As his spiky black hair and cute voice set him apart from the rest of them rowdy out of control crowd of hypocrites. Gon yelled out, "Killua! Don't! They'll kick us out of the juice bar."

A pissed off woman who looked like she ran the joint rolled her eyes. She quipped, "I'm putting you both out anyway. REGARDLESS.. In fact, I'm putting everyone around this fight out! Gay, straight, man, woman, genderfluid nonbinary, I don't give a fuck! You're all getting the hell out of here. This is an openly accepting place for everyone who wants to have a good time. Not make a mess."

Angrily Killua easily punched the living shit out of the man. He cursed, "Fuck you. FUCK YOU!" He gave a few more punches to the man's face watching the blood fly all out of his nose, "Fuck you very very much. You look like you sold all your everything just to attend Trump's inauguration. And we don't even live in America. But you were just that much of a fucking asshole to your wife and kids.."

"Oooo! Roast his ass!" The crowd erupted enjoying and clapping as if witnessing a blow out fight was the highlight of all their days on earth.

Gon grit his teeth. He looked down at his hands and wet stained clothes still moist from just minutes earlier. "Damn it." He murmured, "Aren't I supposed to be the one with the attitude?"

The owner clapped her hands together attempting to get everyone to settle down as she started barking at them, "GET THE HELL OUT! GET THE HELL OUT ALL OF YOU! I'M GONNA CALL THE POPO!"

It was like the magical word was ' _Popo_ ' because no one wanted 12 to run up and bust their ass for trying to be a shady sneak disser. Slowly the crowd started to disperse, allowing Gon to slip in and grab his best friend. Surprisingly Killua didn't fight back, the other 16 year old just let out some more curses.

The sour outburst of a fight had killed any romantic tension between them. (If there was ever any in the first place that is.) Disappointingly, Gon had to once more push his way through the boatload of people exiting the juice bar, (most of them probably leaving before the cops came so they wouldn't get busted for not paying child support.) Killua dragged behind him purposely snarling at anyone who looked at him or his blood covered hand strangely.

When a streak of daylight hit Gon's face he felt more relieved than anything as he stood on the sidewalk. He placed his hands on his hips sticking his lips out in a pucker face, "What the hell was that?" He demanded as if he never registered that Killua would ever be bold enough to randomly jump on a person like that.

"The asshole idiotic moron dumped his drink on you!" Killua exclaimed as if his actions were justified. He figured that if he killed the man he'd do the world a favor anyway. Why should homophobes and racist exist just to hate people? Killua figure he should be honored right now. He was ready for the people from the show, ' _What would you do?'_ to bust in with the cameras, all happy congratulating him and clapping. He'd get a standing ovation for being such a good quality person and standing up for the helpless in society.

"You can't go around killing people! Or.. threatening to kill them.." Gon scolded as if such common knowledge should be known by now. "How are you ever going to get your Hunter's license if you keep acting like this Killua?"

Nonchalantly Killua shrugged carelessly, "Maybe I don't need it. Maybe it's just not meant to be." Then he screwed up an eyebrow at Gon telling him, "I mean, I don't mean to brag but I'm pretty chill and good at this assassin trade."

"You joke." Gon's eyes went wide for a second, he blinked blankly his mind unable to come up with a proper response. He shook his head, turning it to avoid looking Killua in them as he focused his sight on the ground. Swallowing numbly he repeated the words this time a bit more softly, " _Please,_ tell me you're joking."

There was no clear response from Killua. The taller male just scooped up his best friend's hand, he squeezed it as he walked down to the street corner. It was almost like the setting sun was omen for things still yet to come with them. Their footsteps were slow and hearts were heavy and the silence was slowly eating away at the both of them. However the results of Killua's blow off mood set Gon on edge even more.

Gon spoke out weakly, "Please, Killua. Please don't tell me that you only asked me out here just to screw with my mind and tell me you don't wanna be…" His voice cracked sadly as he felt his heart throb full of sadness, "A Hunter."

"Listen, Gon. I've thought long and hard about this." Killua murmured his head starting to spin upon hearing Gon get all somber. He hated when his friend got sad and upset, it rattled his soul and made him feel empty and angry too.

"Well you better think AGAIN! YOU BETTER GO BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD AND THINK LONG AND HARD BECAUSE-! Gon paused his rant, his face flustering red as Killua cupped his face. The taller male pressed Gon's cheeks together endearingly almost teasing him for still having such a baby face. A rare slick smile landed on Killua's face which was mirrored by Gon who found himself smiling confused out of mostly torment of not wanting to feel so discombobulated all of a sudden.

Killua took advantage of this moment, "I thought about us. I thought about us having a future together." His smile spread as he let a spark of blue flare up in his eyes. He invited Gon, "You do want to have a future with me, right?" Shyly Killua tucked his voice down barely above a whisper as his face turned cherry red. "I want one with you, sunshine. I want to be with you all the time."

Gon looked so thrown off by the sudden declaration that his jaw slacked down slightly, "You like me? Like.. like.. LIKE ME? LIKE ME. More than best friends?"

"I've been flirting with you for the past oh.. I don't know. We met at 12 right? So 4 years? I've done it nonstop."

"I… I.. I thought you were just doing that to be modest! Heck, I would have dated you years ago."

"You WOULD HAVE?"

"Yeah! Why didn't you tell me?"

"Well, just being with you… just being by your side has always been enough." Killua confessed tenderly. He licked his lips hungrily as he dropped his hands from Gon's face, allowing them to snake their way around his waist, "But I can't contain my desire for you anymore, baby boy." He whispered lightly in Gon's ear feeling the smaller male squirm in his arms.

"WHOA!" Gon squeaked out loudly. Not like he wasn't enjoying it, just the sudden change of atmosphere between them was driving his mind wild. A part of him felt like Killua was playing him for a sappy sucker. It was too perfect-the moment!

The way Killua's hands rested on Gon's sides, and the soft loving expression that graced over his scarlet red face. Then the gentle breeze that wrapped itself around them making Gon press his body more closer to Killua from warmth due to his warm clothes. Gon snuggled his head in Killua's chest his hands finding their way to running through fluffy white hair. Sounds of their hearts beating so loudly they were sure that each other could hear and feel their nervousness.

"Are you scared?" Killua asked. He delicately traced his fingers up Gon's sides, "I mean, I really wanna take the next step."

"Is this just because you're anxious the police is going to come and lock you up for getting into a juice bar fight and threatening a person?" Gon configured connecting the dots quickly in his mind to why Killua would want to speed along so quickly.

"If by that you mean arrest me on multiple charges of first degree murder and attempted assault, then yes."

"They can probably get you on more things too."

"Look… look.. Baby boy. That doesn't matter. Fuck the police. The police probably killed more people than I ever will. I was doing the right thing..." Killua let out some more curses before catching his breath. A happy expression shining on his face he promoted, "You're all that matters to me right now. I asked you out to tell you about our future together. If you choose to accept it, that is?"

Gon's face melted into pure delight as he ushered out the words, "Yes." Then before Killua could press their lips together. He pulled away slightly explaining, "But we should go and do all this at my house first. Aunt Mito won't be back home till late, so it's empty now."

Killua grinned promoting, "I can never get enough of the way ya think, ya know that?" His lips fell on top of Gon's head.

Such actions made Gon smile more like the sun drop he was. He squeezed Killua's hand relaxingly their finger sending glee through both their bones. Both of them knowing what's coming next, awaiting for them in Gon's bedroom.

* * *

"My god, you're so tense," Killua whispered his hands roaming up and down Gon's body. They tucked on his belt loop playfully, "You desperately need to get laid."

"Are you offering?" Gon replied, rolling his hips.

"I'll claiming it." Killua growled almost sexily as he thrust himself onto Gon.

"Mmm…" Gon trembled to his touch barely able to fight back a moan as he could barely complain. "You… you don't even have condoms, Killua." His jaw shook as he confessed his nervousness about the whole thing.

"It'll be okay, baby boy." Killua coached moving his hips to get on time with Gon's squirming. "Whatever sickness or disease either of us have guess we'll die together."

"WHAT? Aahh—!" Gon choked out the rest of his words. Instead he drowned out everything by chanting out, "So.. ssoo good. Feels so good."

"I know." Delicious voltage shot down both their bones as Killua worked his skillful fingers over Gon's shirt. "That's why I have to take you."

The first kiss came like honey, trickling warm through Gon's bones until he melted on the bed in hazy bliss. He at first didn't even process the motion, since they came sporadically. Killua gently mashing his lips on top of Gon's as if he'd been storing up that kiss especially for him. It was met by wet cracked lips who didn't know how to react accept kiss back because after this,

All remaining feelings of friendship were put the window and replaced with something much more.

"Look at me," Gon breathed out soon as their lips pulled apart. He laced his fingers up to comb through Killua's hair pulling him on top of his smaller body more. "Like I'm your future husband, Killua." He smiled a bit as he saw a flash of greed appear in those lovely ocean blue eyes.

Killua licked his lips, "I already have been for the past years." He moved his hands up and down Gon's shirt enjoying all his fluffy fired up reactions. How the smaller male bumped around and jumped when Killua touched him just right.

"Mmaa—dff.." Gon shifted his body around ready to fall victim to desire he felt hot and stuffy in his clothes. Killua's cold touch couldn't ease the burning feeling in his belly for relief. As his cheeks pink toned to roses, his breathing became more staggered.

The second kiss they shared had been a graceless, eager thing. Full of stifled groans because it seemed impossible that something so simple as lips on lips could feel like this. Only this time Gon shuffled even closer to deepen the kiss. He'd thought a kiss would leave him satisfied, but now he found himself wanting Killua more than ever.

"T-take me." Gon begged. At first his voice cracked slightly deeming his unsure nature a crime. His black hair ruffled cupping his peach face giving the illusion of a delicious cupcake if one stared hard enough.

A fresh baked peach cupcake covered in strawberry icing because his face was just that red and his brown eyes now hazy and lustful. For Killua. His wide thighs spread open slightly as he allowed the taller male to slip in between them dantley.

Killua took his time because he wasn't going to do anything Gon didn't want him to. Killua wasn't gonna mess this thing up and push too far. Not after he'd achieved so much. So he moved his finger around for control uttering out, "I want you too. And I'll have you. I promise, I'll indulge in you tonight."

The roar of outside felt suddenly distant, as if the rest of the world could have vanished. All that was left was the sound of breathing, of hearts pounding, of the cold of the fingers that cupped the back of Gon's neck, to contrast warm lips locking.

It was pure blissful sin. Becoming their little secret done in the darkness. Only witnesses to their deed would be themselves and any confession said here would stay in this bedroom forever.

 _Killua kissed Gon, again, again, again, again, again._

Until the moonlight was pouring in through the windows, where he could drink up the sight of him. Lips juicy, pupils blown, hair rustled up and body so sensitive to everything. Gon lovingly with lips and careful touch gently patting his head. Then Killua kissed Gon again - just because he was beautiful.

"You're everything I couldn't be. Everything I want but cannot have." Killua spoke the words huskily into Gon's ear. Maybe he accidentally nibbled on the tips longing for the taste of sugar and chocolate chip cookies to fill his mouth. The flavor of sweetness dancing on his tongue as it tangled upwards getting caught in licking the inside of Gon's earlobe.

The smaller male flinched slightly it was hard to believe a kiss could kick start so many bottled up emotions. Gon was heavenly overwhelmed. He cooed, "Let me be your world then. Then once you have me you'll have it all." His senses heightened and his heart spilling out love from his head to his toes.

Killua kissed Gon in darkness, where the world pared down to the heat of contact, the slide of his pale hands along Gon's rib cage. It was one LONG slow kiss, their tongues ran over the roofs of their mouths, fingers woven through hair and hearts beating in unison.

The words murmured just between the two of them, " _I love you._ "

Neither of them knows if they really said it or if it was possibly a dream they both had at the same time of those deadly 3 words being spoken between them. All they were aware of was the loss of clothes came next.

Kissing down Gon's chest to his cute little belly button Killua striped Gon bare. In that moment he memorized every inch of him blind. A part of him scared that in the light the force of want and adoration would simply be too strong. In darkness, it would only ever be them and that was more than enough.

* * *

When Killua rolled beside Gon, all Gon could think about was how that had actually just happened. Killua had just became Gon's first and for some strange reason Gon had no regrets. Just love for the sexy male resting before him. The rise and fall of Killua's chest and his broken breathing.

The sight of how red Killua's body actually was made Gon let out a slight laugh. It was actually more like a giggle as he pressed a hand on Killua's burning cheeks. "You're really hot like this." He complimented.

"I am?" Killua chuckled. He leaned his lips down to press kisses on Gon's wrist. The kisses were light and airy, "I hope so. I'd hate for this experience to suck for both of us."

"I want to relive this moment forever."

"Nothing is forever. If it last forever it wouldn't be special."

Gon cocked his head. He looked at Killua as a flood of confusion washed over his face,with eyebrows knotting together and his brown eyes shimmering . Those cute pink swollen lips that Killua had been kissing for so long questioned, "Even when it comes to love?" The question rolled out of Gon's mouth so innocently.

"Hmm.." Killua grew silent as if the thought troubled him. So he started to elaborate, "It is sorta like me and when taking the Hunter exam. My dream died out because it wasn't special to me and somethings were more important."

"But.." Gon chewed on his bottom lip. Nervously he rocked his body, "What does that have to do in anyway shape or form with you not wanting to be a Hunter?" He still seemed slightly lost. Charmed, happy and completely on board with the idea, yet lost.

"I refuse to comply to the rules of someone else's game, Gon. I'm done obeying a system, that isn't geared towards peace giving." Killua said abruptly. He shook his head choosing to rebel and make it clear, "This isn't about my parent's wishes. I'm NOT doing this for them. This choice is MINE. I don't wanna be a Hunter. But if I can keep on being an assassin and hunting down and killing those who wronged others, then I….we can change the world."

"Are you… saying the Hunter's association is broken?" Gon snarled out huskily. He yanked himself away from the taller male snapping, "If you imply a single hint of that.. YOU ARE! You don't know what you're talking about." his eyebrows scrunched up as he fired off, "Listen to me, I'm right Killua. I'm always right. All the time."

"No." Killua corrected, "You always make selfless decisions all the time."

"Now you're insulting me?"

"No. no… I am explaining to you."

"Sounds like you're getting fresh!"

"What smart ass thing did I even say?"

"You said that the Hunter's association doesn't work to benefit all people."

Killua closed his eyes and shoved his hands into his pockets. Calmly he muttered, "I can't apologize for saying that. It's true. It's true and you know it, Gon. Plus didn't your so-called-father leave you to be a Hunter anyway? How could you defend so loyally such a facade put up by a place like that?"

Gon felt his head start to spin, pounding as his thought bubbled up with anger. He blinked at Killua staring at him completely awestruck that he had the audacity to go there. Gritting his teeth down he held back a long upset rant as his brown eyes glared at Killua. But he found himself unable to say a single word. He knew if he spoke he would end up damning himself and all of his and Killua's relationship that they had built up so far.

That was okay, because Killua didn't need to get an answer from Gon right now. Currently Killua had what he wanted and if this was going to be their secret relationship between them, it was going to take cooperation. Killua wouldn't ever push Gon for an answer, he couldn't give. So instead Killua backed off humming, as he reached out to tenderly stroke his finger through soft black hair.

"When you're ready, baby boy." Killua spoke out huskily in the frazzled air between them, "You know how to contact me. If you need anything shoot me a text. But I'll tell you, I plan to marry you, then run off with you, if you'll have me. So please, think about it. Think about us."

* * *

 **Thank you so much for reading. Idk, what this is actually. It's like crack, but it has a plot. This is my attempt at satire in all honesty. I know this is more like a prologue. Lol, next will be about a short time skip of a few weeks. Prepare for some more tension and feels. This story is set in HxH cannon verse.**

 **My last story got deleted for too much smut. So look-I kept it clean. Just kissing and a few touches. To stay safe this time, I'm keeping it T for teen. Well it's actually borderline, but ya know, we'll see how it goes. Comments inspire me to write more and follows/favs do me good as well.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Hunter x Hunter. if I did Gon and Killua would have gotten married by now. have they done that? Well there is your answer.**

 **Thank you again for reading. Have an awesome day full of Gon's sunshine! :) If anything concerns you or if you want me to write smut for this book and publish an unabridged on ao3 let me know so I can arrange something. My DM is always open. ~Mel**


	2. Don't shake the embryo Gon! (2)

A few weeks had passed and honestly Gon hadn't really spent time to ponder over Killua's offer. Each time Killua wanted to come over and hang out he'd do so willingly if Gon just asked him to. They weren't really pursuing marriage, because GOD WASN'T THAT A FUCKING BIG STEP? Wasn't running off with Killua to, ( _who da fuck knows where_ ), a risk? Especially with Killua being an assassin and all that extra jazzy shit.

But after long nights on the phone and sending air kisses to each other, Gon knew that he honestly loved Killua with all of his heart. He loved all the adventures and fun he had with the taller boy; he loved more than anything Killua's bittersweet attitude. It took a lot to get Killua to open up but when he did— _ooohh, Gon loved how sugary sweet Killua was._

Killua was like a s'more. He was a hard gram-cracker on the outside, but on the inside delicious and delectable. He was so soft and tingly with a kick of surprise chocolate on the inside.

Rolling around on his bed the smell of Killua still lingering in his bed sheets. The black haired male hugged his pillow, "A big sweetheart. My teddy bear." Gon exclaimed feeling like a girlish giggle hit the back of his throat. He rubbed his thighs together eagerly repeating the name, "Killua.. Zoldyck... My boyfriend."

Which was strange for him. Last time Gon checked he never lusted or craved for anyone. It was weirdo why suddenly new emotions were hitting him now. It was oddly interesting why he was finding him sick at random days too.

He cut off acting like a fool, and decided to hug his pillow and stare up at the ceiling fan spinning lazily above him. Wrinkling his forehead a bit Gon murmured to himself, "I need to get myself together. What am I doing? Am I actually about to do this?" He spoke lowly to himself trying to get a grip on his wits.

However a voice in head sputtered out, " _Yes the fuck you are. Stop being a pansy fuck ass. If you love him go get him! What are you waiting for? What do you stall for_?"

Gon didn't know. He didn't know why he kept putting it off. Maybe the truth was that he was scared of being responsible in case…. In case…

"No." Gon murmured trying to drown out that idea. Reaching for his phone on the counter he continued to verbally scold himself, "No! No! It won't be like that. Not this time. Killua will protect me from that."

Not a single inch of him was ready to confess on what ' _that_ ' actually was for reasons.

Shakily Gon found the FaceTime button and tapped it nervously. His stomach doing flip flops as he tried to steady his breathing and broken breaths. He pressed his finger on top of Killua's FTID and watched the magic of technology do its thing trying to connect the call.

A few seconds later a blurry almost fuzzy image came on the screen along with the cracklings sound of, "Yo, Gon!"

"Killua!" Gon blurted out. Then he narrowed his eyes in closer to get a better view trying to see any recognizable background. "Where the heck are you? Why is anything so blurry?"

There was a few heavy breathes and panting on the other end, "I don't have fucking wifi. I'm in the woods." A brief cough was made, making the screen go a bit shaky. Killua's voice seemed static and broken up, "I'm… I'm… mmmmmmm….oooorrooomm nono on an assassin mission."

Strangely instanously the call seemed to speed up to get connection, it allowed a loud scream, blood curling enough to make Gon jump back in his bed, to get through. The background seemed to tremble like unsure hands didn't know how to react. Terrifying crackling sounds of guns lighting people up drowned out the screaming. Followed by Gon's phone screen going black briefly displaying, ' _ **Paused**_.'

Gon's face twisted up into one of absolute concern as he fired off, "KILLUA! ARE YOU OKAY? IT SOUNDS LIKE…. LIKE… LIKE A BLOODY WAR ZONE!" He let a nervous hum as his hands tightened on the grip of his phone. He sadly let out a little plea, "You're not in a war zone are you?"

"Huh? I can't hear you." Killua's screen changed up as it seemed to switch cameras. "I have to break this dude's neck real quick. Hold on, sunshine."

Frome the view of it, Killua placed the phone up on a tree branch. It seemed to allow more pixels to get through, (probably due to the height). Yet it gave Gon the perfect view of his silent but deadly boyfriend in action. Killua ducked down laying low, before lashing out with his sharp claws. The tall boy jumped like a cat pouncing on top of a mouse, the already injured man below him let out a cry of horror. Mostly because he knew the last sight he would see would be of his killer- a 16 year old, _but meh_.. His death could have always been worst. He could have died choking on his own vomit.

Without hesitation, Killua grabbed the man's head and bent it sharply too far to the right. The last words out of the man's mouth was a broken gasp of, "Damn it… You.. you think you'll get away with this. We're bigger than you. I have people who will hunt you down for my revenge." He seemed to pull out something, and plant it into the ground.

If Gon wasn't mistaken it looked shiny, like a pass...like a... _Hunter's license?_ Gon's face paled a bit as he took in that reality. The man was holding a Hunter license… Killua had just.. Murdered a…

For some reason Gon's mouth refused to speak the truth about what he just witnessed. He couldn't say the words, " _A hunter!_ " He really wanted to scream at Killua, " _How could you kill someone like that?"_

Deadly dark blue eyes rolled unamused, as they looked down at all the red blood decorating his hands already. Nonchalantly Killua shrugged his shoulders uncaringly, "Just another day on the job."

' _Oh yeah.. That's it_.' Gon's mind seemed to register all at once. ' _Killua can just murder people with no remorse because his family trade… It's his job.. His missions_.' Nervously Gon swallowed, still he found himself conflicted. Who would want a Hunter dead? Did this have something to do with what Killua said earlier?

Killua dropped the dead man's limp body on the ground, then raised his head to turn and face his phone camera. Sweetly he purred, "Gon! The connection is better. Can you see me now?"

Putting up a little wave, Killua's sharp red stained claws glittered in the sun, the rays bouncing off his shredded up clothes revealing to the world his stunning 6 pack abs. The sight of finally being able to get a view of Gon all wrapped up in bed sheets looking like a cute little snack, made the sides of Killua's mouth tug upwards. The white haired male unable to hold back a smile and blush at the adorable way Gon's brown eyes seemed to sparkle marveling at him.

Gon compliment with a slick chuckle, "Yeah. I can see you." Then he tried his hardest to push the subject about the man being a Hunter to the way back and farthest reaches of his mind. He wasn't going to bring it up right now. There was a time and place to bring everything up and right now he should just keep his mouth shut about it.

"That's good. I saw you calling, and I couldn't resist picking it up." Killua started to brag. He crossed his muscular arms over his chest, "I hope this doesn't make it awkward. I feel like you might have been trying to say something important and me being like this ruined the moment."

"Well…" The black haired male cut his shy eyes to the side, his words still sorta getting caught up in his throat over the whole thing. Still he tried to be bold proclaiming, "Killua, I really called to-"

His Aunt Mito's voice filled the air from a loud knocking on the door, "Gon! Gon, open up the door. I brought some Ginger Ale and crackers since you said you weren't feeling well earlier. Plus your teacher just came by to deliver your homework."

"Uggghhhh! Can you slide it under the door?"

"No. I'm not sliding it. Get up and get it."

"I don't feel well! I don't wanna move."

"Poor thing. You just need to unlock the door. I'll tuck you back in."

"Fine." Gon let out a long groan. He placed his phone down on top of his pillow, as he rose up to his feet. At first he stretched, allowing Killua to catch a glimpse of his midsection as he flexed his shoulders rolling backwards, while cracking his neck.

Killua whistled out, "Damn, just seeing you makes me wanna have a piece." He let out an anxious laugh that was almost uncertain if he was really flirting correctly.

It made Gon roll his eyes as he joked, "Yeah sure. When you can actually say that without going red in the face." He headed up to go get the door letting Killua get a _good_ glance at his ass. (Which he no doubt wanted to grab, but ya know...He couldn't come for dat booty through the phone.)

"D-don't! Don't make fun of me!" Killua sputtered out. He looked like he was holding back a nose bleed as he advocated, "I try hard. I try hard now more than ever."

"And I think it's cute." Gon teased. Then he cracked his room door open slightly greeting his Aunt, "Thank you, Aunt Mito." He said briefly trying to usher her out.

It was such a shame for him that the woman was pushy, almost forcing her way in. She pushed Gon out the way gently, walking into his room shaking her head. "Gon, this place is a mess. Soon as you feel better you have to get this junk up." Under her breath she grumbled, "I should just do what I want to, like everyone else in this house. They do what they want. I never do what I want."

"Yes. I know." Gon grumbled out under his breath. His eyes almost bulging out of his head as he watched his Aunt deliberately knock down all his action figures from his night stand to make space for her to place the tray full of crackers, school work and the drink on the side.

His Aunt going on to say, "How can you enjoy living in filth?" She sighed shaking her head, reaching down she started to pick up Gon's clothes that were scatter all over the floor. "I can't even stand to look at this. It's like a pig stye. I'll clean it myself if I have to. You have work to finish from school anyway. I can clean and you work."

Gon scrunched his eyebrow up looking at his Aunt like she had just gone delirious, "This is my room." He walked over to his Aunt pulling the clothes out of her hands. "I can clean it. When I have time. Don't stress yourself over this."

"Oh, no!" His Aunt kept on walking around his room picking up trash and junk. "You know you're never going to get it done. Let me just take care of it. You need to get better anyway." The poor woman sounded downright tired and weary. Her red hair drooped as well as her eyes with stress and the way she dragged her feet provided more evidence of how worn out she was.

Gon was started to feel kind of bad. He didn't know if this was the art of guilt tripping or what. But slowly he was starting to fall for it. The voice in his head complaining, " _How you going to let your Aunt suffer like that? How are you being so cruel? What type of nephew are you? That trash act you put up. All that kindness, it was all a facade. You phony two faced looking.."_

"Okay!" Gon blurted out at the top of his lungs. He frantically yanked up more of his junk from the floor shoving stuff in his closet and pushing it under his bed. "I'm cleaning. I will work later. Clean now and.." Feeling a cramp start to form in his side he let out an uneven curse but he did it low enough so his aunt wouldn't hear. Boldly pushing aside the pain he ran his fingers in his fluffy black hair huffing, "I can do it."

Mito shook her head denying, "No. No. Go lay down. You don't look so well. Plus you were throwing up everywhere earlier. I was so worried… so scared.. These past few days…" Her voice grew deathly silent as if her thought could no longer become words. She swallowed nervously as her glossy tearful eyes ran over to look at her nephew.

Every part of Gon's mind was screaming, ' _FUCK_!' He shuffled his feet over to her providing a bit of comfort he offered, "Don't worry about me, Aunt Mito. I'll be fine. I've been in way worst deadly situations. A little sickness won't kill me." He rubbed his hands over her back trying to calm her.

Only the woman shook her head, "Still… It's like lots of sickness at once. It doesn't make any sense. It's like.. It happens then it goes away. Oh, if I didn't know any better. For the past week Gon, I would think you were having a baby."

At that comment Gon _almost_ choked on air. Rapidly he started to lose track and forgot how to take in breath.

It was a struggle to regain himself especially when his Aunt said, "But I know my good little Gon is as pure as a snowflake. He's my little delicate snowflake." She started to pull on his cheeks endearingly, "Look at him. Just look at those cute hazel eyes. Who would dare violate such a little bean?"

Gon let out an dumb sounding squeal, unable to find himself to lie about this. Soon as the air hit his lungs he ushered out, "Well the thing is Aunt Mito.. I didn't lose it. I gave myself up to a man who I love and care about dearly. I am..."

"YOU LOST YOUR…" His Aunt had never pulled away from Gon so fast. She yanked her hand away from him and slapped the same cheek that she'd just been praising him with. Anger roared in her words, "Gon! You're only 16! How could you? Who is he?"

"I.. umm.." Gon looked at Killua who was still on the call with him. The white haired male shook his head reminding him, ' _Oh yeah. Can't tell another living soul about us.'_ So Gon sighed ugly as if it pained him. He rammed his teeth together grinding them painfully he apologized, "I can't tell you."

Mito blinked rapidly, her expression not lightning in the slightest as she shook her head. "Gon. You better not be.. Trying to cover up for anyone."

"I would never. You know I'm.." Gon's words got cut off by his Aunt giving him pitiful puppy dog eyes. It gave Gon an overwhelming sense that he let her down. That it was intense and drowning him in deep sadness. How could he do this? The look on her face of pure disappointment was agonzing to his core. He couldn't do anything but murmur, "I'm sorry."

Mito slowly started to back away from her nephew a heart broken look on her face as she turned her back away from him. She began walking towards the door informing him, "I have some pregnancy test. They're old.. From before, I knew I had to take care of," Her voice cracked a bit as she paused at the door frame. Stopping to look at Gon and inspect him as if sizing him up. The words felt like needles stabbing into Gon's heart a she sneered, "Then." Her look in her eyes did all the talking for her, but almost to rub salt in the wound she added, "I don't regret it. I guess…. I can't…. I might end up doing it again."

"Please, Aunt Mito." Gon felt his heart flutter like it was losing warmth and protection. "You're not going to kick me out are you?"

"I'm just really disappointed in you. But you're still my nephew, Gon. Nothing will change that." Mito attempted to say comfortingly. Still she walked out closing the door behind her muttering in a pissy tone, "But you do have Ging's genes, so I didn't expect anything less from you."

 _That felt like a blow to the heart._

 _Straight to where it hurt the most._

Letting out a slight sniffle Gon tried to ignore the throbbing feeling in his head. "Yeah." He kicked some of his clothes on the ground upset repeating, "Yeah." It was almost in a sad defeating way.

Killua finally decided to speak out, "Baby boy…" He voice came out gentle almost soothing, "Are you okay?"

"I am getting out of here." Gon said closing his eyes, he fell back onto his bed. He rolled over to face Killua looking at the phone telling him, "We're getting out of here."

A happy spark of eagerness came in Killua's blue eyes, "You mean?"

"Yes." Gon confirmed. This time his heart was set. He was going to be with someone who he could trust. So he could lower the burden on his Aunt Mito's shoulders. So he didn't put any pressure on her. No longer would Gon hang around and shower misery on her life.

He already ruined it once for her; he had no plans to let it happen again.

"Awesome! Soon as I finish this mission. I'm going to head over and get you. You and I…" Killua's face seemed to be going a bit more red. He rocked back and forth on his feet but he happily preached, "We're going straight to the courthouse soon as we can. We will need our birth certificate and oh, try to get a blood test done too. I think that's all but, I have to check again, online."

Gon poked at his flat stomach. Almost cautiously he asked, "I love you, Killua. But we're only 16. And how do you feel about becoming a father? I like kids but, we're sorta still kids…. well teenagers ourselves. What abou-"

"Shit!" Killua cursed loudly as more bullets fired off in the background, It was like trouble was heading towards him. He quickly spat out the words, "I don't know when the next time I'll be able to contact you. Just hold up wait soon, okay?"

"No, Killua! This is an answer, I sorta need to hear-!" Gon's face grimaced as he watched the screen present the words, ' ** _Call ended_** ' then it went to his home screen. An upset expression was plastered up on Gon's face as he sighed heavily mumbling, "Now."

The voices in Gon's head chuckled, " _Haha, it's because you brought up being a father. You have numerous doubts in your mind. Well so does Killua. If you keep acting crazy, you might lose him. He might never message you again."_

Gon sagged his shoulder as he pressed his head in his pillow, beside his phone. His face twisted up as he wrapped his arms around his stomach, "Killua, what the hell are you doing out there?" He grumbled to himself in a distraught way. "I need you. So you better take care of yourself."


	3. Don't shake the embryo Gon! (3)

Leaning up against the side of the office building, Killua took in deep breaths. His grip on the yo-yo's in his hand tightened as his blue eyes dashed up hesitantly looking around for any signs of an enemy approaching.

Despite the numbness in his toes and his legs growing limp from running for so long, he never felt so alive as he did when the thrill of a fight got the adrenaline pumping up inside of him. For Killua, the thrill of the hunt was nothing compared to the satisfying feeling of eliminating your prey.

Well actually there was some really great irony in there, " _hunt"_ as in " _Hunters_ " but here Killua was taking out a whole branch of them to feed his and his family's own ambitions.

"Haha! In everything I do, I am NUMBER ONE! HAHAHA!" Killua let out a burst of almost cruel laughter in the air. His smile twisted up into one of malice as he swung his heavyweight yo-yos hard, thrusting one into the neck a woman running by.

It created a display red rain to decorate his once all purely white air, as he lurched forward driving the yo-yo to knockout her chin upwards. Killua possessing such steady craftsmanship as he silenced her.

"Kaaaaeeeehh!" The woman gasped as she started sputtered up blood leading to her own death.

Killua grinned, harshly yanking her long lovely brown hair up and digging his knee in the center of her back. "Sorry. No emotion, that's what business is. I can't show mercy on witness." He twisted her spinal cord around with ease.

 _He couldn't die here._

 _Nor could Killua afford to cut all his efforts short that he worked so hard for the past few months._

The woman didn't stop screaming as Killua roughly threw her to the ground. Her body bounced convulsing uncontrollably soaking the concrete red like a sprinkler until her last breath was weakly drawn out.

Luckily the communication device in her ear was unharmed and it was working perfectly at high enough volume for Killua to hear it. The walkie talkie in the dead woman's ear broke through with light static calling out, "I think the invader has left the area. I repeat, think. Still remain on high alert."

That was Killua's que, time for him to finish up the job that he started. Only one more person left for him to kill and they were on the other end of this walkie talkie conversation.

Taking a few steps away from the wall, Killua lowered his grip on the yo-yos as they spun back inwards. After hearing no response from anyone else, he figured he was in the clear. He calmly headed inside of the building, his eyes dashing up and catching sight of the disgraceful title, " _ **A SAFE public Branch of the Hunter's Association."**_

All Killua could configure was, _'How disgusting. How gross. Why would anyone want to be in any relationship to the Hunter's Association_.' A stern look came on his face as he looked around the wrecked place.

He did manage to scramble them up real good. Barely dragged the floor with them; Killua counted himself lucky there had only been 4 Hunters here. Also Killua was blessed to have enough Nen experience to crush them.

Placing his yo-yos in his red stained pockets, he walked behind the front desk. He felt the sun barely get blocked out by the corner of the window inside, which worked wonderful for him since it concealed his location. Allowing him to get more time to hold up his personal goal of the mission.

"Stupid, morons." Killua snorted as he took his seat at the front desk. He began typing in information in the search bar contently, "You didn't log out your system. You'll regret this."

His eyes ran over the familiar sight of his name under.

 **WANTED: DEAD OR ALIVE.**

 **Killua Zoldyck**

 **Reward: A sum of money equivalent to a small loan of a 34,899,456,349,223,115.777 ( _insert repeating decimal symbol)_ 5 yen**

Hitting a few keys on the computer he started to erase his final destination and description below. Getting rid of any traces of him in the system, (despite how much it was getting under his skin to keep doing this.) he knew he'd show up again. Still he had to keep doing this…. just in case. He couldn't let himself be tracked, when he planned to go on the run.

Killua slammed his fist into the keyboard cursing loudly, "Damn this bitch!" He looked at the mocking screen demanding a password to be shared, "Preventing this shit. Huh? They think they're smart?" He exited out disappointed that he couldn't be fully deleted.

But there was someone who could…. _Gon._

Moving a few finger frantically he went to check up on how much the Hunter's association knew about Gon Freecss. About 30 pages of information came up, ranging from birth to childhood to his nen status. There was even bout 10 of those pages talking about his friends.

"That's a problem." Killua murmured, he hunched over to get a better view at the screen. Reading all the info they had on his and Gon's previous adventure together. He clicked his teeth, "These snakes might want to hurt Gon to get to me. I can't let that happen."

The next steps Killua, took, _gosh_ … he knew Gon would hate him for it. In fact Killua knew if Gon ever found out what he did he would hate him till his death bed. But it had to be done. For the sake of them being together. For the sake of, All being fair in love and warfare.

His finger moved fast as lighting as he struggled to clear out all the information out of the systems database. Killua dragged all the information about Gon in the trash. He started clearing out all the files they had on him and Gon's possible friendships and adventure together.

The trash button gave a frozen loading sign on his screen as he leaned back in his chair with heavy satisfactory. "No more, Gon Freecss." Killua smirked to himself as he kicked up his feet on the table, he dragged a few of his own files that weren't password blocked over to the trash bucket. "And no more Killua Zoldyck." He ruffled up his white hair feeling like he should be congratulating himself.

With them out of the system it would be harder to get information about them. Especially it would make their whereabouts run cold other than word of mouth. It would make going undercover after they got married easier. Maybe even have them change their last names. Or they could fuse their last names, there was, Zoldcss, Freeyck, Cssydck, endless possibilities of names where out there.

The sounds of guns and windows shattering made Killua jump to the floor as a few cops ran inside the building shouting, "I WILL SHOOT! I WILL SHOOT! I WILL SHOOT AT ANYTHING THAT BREATHES TRY ME."

"Oh man.." Killua muttered, as he crawled into a ball under the desk. He took a peek at the cops waving their guns around like a bunch of lunatics. "I got the crazy ones trying to bust my ass."

He figured it would be pointless if he laid here and did nothing, but by the sound of it there was plenty of cops not bent on splitting up. Still running out to make a break for it would end up a suicide mission. So Killua tried to climb back up in the chair just to ensure even if he die here that the files on the computer were deleted.

Soon as his mop of white hair presented itself to allow his glowing blue eyes to get a peek at the screen the whole entire room erupted in loud chatter.

"Freeze!" A few coppers busted in putting their guns and aiming them at Killua. Another sound of a chopper outside thundered, "We have the place surrounded!"

Yawning, Killua pushed the chair away from him as he stood up. "Officers, I wouldn't fire if I were you. I have this place rigged. Full of bombs." He cocked his head to side to indicate that he wasn't bluffing.

One over cocky cop laughed, "Yeah sure! Says the one with feminine deodorant on. What is that smell, chocolate coco puffs or something?"

"HOW DARE YOU DISRESPECT CHOCOLATE COCO PUFFS! THAT'S MY FAVORITE CEREAL!" The 16 year old yelled. Killua angry slammed his fist into the computer monitor, it sent glass cuts flying up his arm, but that was nothing compared to how the shadows started to dance all over his face followed by the loud crackling of electricity. His eyes seemed to turn to hostile darkness while draining the electric energy out of it as he sparked up. "NO ONE DISRESPECTS CHOCOLATE! AND FUCKING LIVES!"

"Who do you think you're yelling at punk? I'll take you and your cheap girly deodorant back to Walmart!" The man's finger threateningly pulled back on the trigger firing the first shots in the air.

It sent Killua taking off at god speed to dodge right past all of them. He spun past every bullet, unleashing his sharp nails. Mercilessly he drove them to create a fine cut to take off the man's neck. Killua hollered, "WHY DO WE EVEN HAVE GENDERED DEODORANTS IF I'M A GROWN ASS MAN AND I WANT TO SMELL LIKE CHOCOLATE MOCHA KISS I FUCKING WILL!"

"Get him! He has a bounty on his head. Plus he's wanted for starting a bar fight." A random voice called out.

At the mention of the bar fight, Killua completely deadpanned, "Really? The bar fight? That was like weeks ago." He sassily snapped his finger dropping a few more cops to the ground. He stepped on their heads, with a sneaky grin crawling up on his face. "Why ya'll still got yo head up yo ass about that?"

The rest of the cops went wild starting to shoot an fire at any blurry inch of life that happened to move. Yet Killua slipped through every wind pocket and managed to break out of the building without being noticed.

Reaching for his phone he dialed up his asshole of brother, "Illumi! Get over here and pick me up. You said you'd be waiting out here for me."

"Yeah. After you finished the mission." Illumi chirped out a friendly reminder on the other end. "From what I'm observing your mission isn't over yet."

"Like hell it's not! Where are you?"

"You haven't killed your last target."

"Oh, so you want me to blindly run into this flood of trigger happy cops?"

"If I pick you up now, your mission will be incomplete. You'll get a punishment."

"I'm the best. The best don't get punishments. That's for shithole failures like you." Killua spat out bitterly. No longer did he equivocate on speaking his opinion of his older brother. 16 year old Killua proudly spoke his mind, he didn't have anything to be afraid of anymore.

There was silence for a long time on the other end of the call. It was almost as if Illumi had threw in the towel and decided he didn't mind seeing Killua get the wind shot out of him with a smart ass mouth like that on him.

"I'm waiting." Killua quipped as he kept running around at Godspeed staying out of the cops' sights. He dashed around the building a few more times still impatiently holding the phone in hi hand.

It felt like forever until the loud sound of a helicopter hovering over head came, followed by the grim sound of, "Hustle up. We're crunched enough for time already and the fact you didn't finish your mission makes it worse." Illumi's voice seemed pissed to the point of no return as he threw down the rope ladder for Killua to climb up on.

"There he is!" A cop hollered pointing at Killua in motion to climbing upwards to safety.

Another policeman, who appeared to be the chief screeched out, "OPEN FIRE! LIGHT EM UP! LIGHT EM UP, BOYS!" He pointed directly at the helicopter labeled plain as day, ' ** _ZOLDYCK_** ' in huge black letters.

Killua swore his family must have had some narcissistic problems, since they had to be well known that it was one of them carrying out the job... That or writing their name on everything they owned was a really bad market strategy. Either way Killua considered this a fuck up.

He quickly scrambled up the ladder cursing, "CRAP, CRAP. CRAPPY BURNT FLAPJACKS!" Tightening his grip, Killua help on for dear life as Illumi hastily took off, higher in the air to avoid the trouble of wrecking the helicopter.

The sea of white hair on Killua's head spun around his face wildly clouding his vision as he struggled to climb up. The lanky 16 year old might have had height on his side but moving his feet around was a problem becoming more and more evident to him. The direction of the chopper swaying the ladder as he tried to climb wasn't help either.

Especially nor was Illumi yelling in his ear, "GET TO THE CHOPPER! GET IN DA CHOPPER!" Making it any easier for Killua to comply.

"Have you ever tried to get in a moving chopper before?" Killua finally snapped back.

"Plenty of times."

"Well this is my first."

"Get better."

"At what?"

"Climbing in moving choppers! You dumbfuck. What else would I be talking about?"

"Shut the fuck up and pilot!" Killua huffed as he pulled himself up to finally enter the helicopter. He pointed at Illumi accusingly huffing, "You just focus on yourself."

"I hope mom and dad punish you. You're too over confident and need more correction." Illumi quipped wagging his finger in the air.

"Pff, like I said before. They're not going to punish me." Killua blushed off the comment. He let out a heavy sigh that he didn't know he was holding as he admitted, "They're going bloody murder me."

* * *

A few hours later, Killua really wished his parents would have murdered him instead of yelling at him for what had probably hit about the 30 minute mark.

His mom had done all of the talking. His mom had a mouth bigger than what she was worth if they sold her mechanical, weird ass laser looking eyes to the junkyard where they belonged. Since for the 53rd time in this conversation she'd mange to loop back to the words, "You not finishing the mission makes the whole entire family look bad."

Silently Killua nodded his head. His expression firm and a bit bored over the whole thing, as he twisted his fingers through his white locks. He broke into the rant to say, "I tried my best. I couldn't give my 100% tho. Too many risk factors."

"Oh is that so? Basing on how much you hate the Hunter's Association this should have been a piece of cake." His mom fired off.

"Well, they were Hunters!" Killua stressed his voice to make this fact very evidently clear in their minds, "It took up a lot of my energy fighting them, I got too lazy to handle the police. It was like a swarm of them! I barely made it out of the building alive. I had to bluff about planting bombs." throwing his hands up to show off his battle marks he huffed, "Will you ever be satisfied?"

"What were you doing in the building anyway?"

"Hunting down my next target."

"Interesting. Ilumi said otherwise." His mom responded. She rose up from her seat and looked over at where Illumi was lingering by the door. "He said you went in on your on free will after you let your last target get away."

Killua cut his eyes over to where his older brother was, now Milluki had came up beside him with a whip. The sight made Killua flinch a bit almost feeling the beating about to be given to him before it occurred. All he could do now was stick with his story and deny. There was obviously no escaping this one.

Lowering his head, Killua shamefully restated, "That's not the case. I had a good reason to go into that building." He closed his eyes unable to face them at his parent's but summarized, "That's my story. It was something important I needed to complete."

In a frustrated way, his mom reached across the table and smacked him on the head. "You stupid child! Haven't we taught you anything? Nothing is more important than the Zoldyck family. NOTHING." She pushed his chair over, roughly knocking her son to the ground she proceeded to scold him. "You need to get off that high horse of yours. Doing a few good mission doesn't make you a star! You still have much to learn. You…!" Her heel of her foot dug into Killua's stomach make him start to cough up blood.

Milluki's cruel laughter was able to be heard from where he was standing. He cracked the whip in the air hissing, "Haha! Time to face the toll."

Killua let out an unhappy grunt. A part of him couldn't believe that after all the work he did for his family there was just no satisfy them. It was like they could never be happy with him because they expected too much from him. Now he was going to get beat as if he didn't take enough battle damage already. It was like a crazy fit of laughter and cruel mockery was taking place all around him. Mean laughing and not nice kicking. It was like Killua was on display in medieval times, he was so ready for someone to just throw a rotten tomato at his head or something.

All Killua could do was go to his happy place. His soon to be happy place with Gon. Gon and him were going to run away. They were going to run far away and escape stuff like this and prevent each other from falling into darkness. They had always had each others backs, so getting married and finally tying the knot would set him free of all this bullshit.

"Two weeks." His dad spoke out finally ending all the shenanigans going on around Killua.

The 16 year old screwed up an eyebrow, "Only 2 weeks?" Killua was halfway shocked by his own sentence. He actually was expected something more damning like…

"Two weeks in solitary confinement and give me that phone." His dad held his hand out ready to collect it.

Damn, there it fucking was. The actual punishment that Killua thought, feared and prayed he wouldn't have.

Pulling out his phone from his pocket, Killua let out a grumble, "Damn stupid thoughts and prayers. They never fucking work. I'm still waiting for that shit to kick in." He tossed the phone over to his dad, as he rose up to his feet.

Killua gave a stern glance to his mother unwilling to hear another word from her as he turned to walk out the room. He shoved his hands in his pockets, soon as he passed his two older brothers.

Milluki tried to yank him up but Killua was way faster now. The 16 year old jumped back hollering, "Get away from me, you trash! I can take myself to solitary confinement. I've been there enough times."

"I have to cuff you, up. Make sure you don't escape you little rat." Milluki hissed raising the whip threateningly.

Killua opened his mouth to say something more, but out of the corner of his eyes he caught Alluka watching him from afar down the halls. It made Killua buckle down a bit deciding to hold in his rage. He lowered his head and shoved into Illumi roughly before heading his way towards solitary confinement.

The last thing Killua needed was for Alluka to see him go rogue and lose his cool. _Besides it wasn't that big of a deal was it?_ Killua figured he'd be out of here soon, plus he warned Gon he might not hear from him for a while. It wasn't like Gon was going to lose his mind and go crazy without talking to Killua for a few days.

 _It was just 2 weeks._

 _They could definitely survive without talking with each other for 14 days…_

 _OH GOD, Killua hoped that they could._


	4. Don't shake the embryo Gon! (4)

"Gon Freecss, doesn't exist." The words were spoken so clearly out of the woman's mouth, that it made the boy standing before her, head start to spin.

The annoying repetition of: ' _Gon Freecss doesn't exist! GON Freecss doesn't exist FREECSS! doesn't exist! Gon Freecss DOESN'T exist! Gon Freecss doesn't EXIST! GON FREECSS DOESN'T EXIST_ ' flew around in his mind starting up a little tornado of doubt.

Brown eyes were slowly darkening like a stormy sky. Firm lips parted slightly in disbelief from what his ears were hearing. Like a record stuck on repeat his thoughts flew onto his tongue as he uttered out, "Gon Freecss doesn't exist."

A passive look came on the lady's face as she kept typing on her computer as if the boy's existence was as irrelevant and never needed to be justified on paper. She just kept steadily typing with her acrylic nails banging against the keyboard. Not once even glancing back up at her customer still awestruck, she called out loudly, "Next!" Clicking on her laptop computer to see the next customer in line.

"N-nee..NEXT?" The boy felt his stomach start to do flip flops, as butterflies began to wrongly invade his digestive system.

A man came up behind him casually carrying a bunch of file papers. The gruff old man hissed at him, "Move it! She said next!" He pushed the teen to the side a bit huffing under his breath, "Disrespectful brat, don't think I didn't see you reading and taking your time in line. Some of us have better places to be than in the official records office."

Knowing that the man was speaking about him in such a harsh tone made him feel even more nervous. The whole entire room seemed to be spinning like the world had lost its balance on its axis. A feeling of even worst sickness came over him as he claimed, "But.. I...I..I don't understand?"

"You don't understand what the words NEXT means?"

"I do."

"So get your ass out of here!"

"I..I can't! If I give up now. He'll replace me! Killua will replace me, with a newer cooler version! We'll never get married..."

"Who the fuck is Killua? The door is right there. Do you need security to escort you?"

"I can't leave without answers. I need my birth certificate!"

"SECURITY! THIS YOUNG MAN IS HARASSING ME!"

The woman behind the counter glared at them both angrily as she pointed at the old man. "Like hell he is! You goofy old coot! Let's get one thing straight tho. Only I can call security so shut your old ass up."

The old man in return cut his eyes at the boy like this was all his fault. "He won't move. You did call NEXT."

"But I didn't call for security. This is my office. MY SECURITY." The woman snapped her fingers sassily, "So get to the back of my goddamn line before I call them on _you_."

"No way! I just waited 1 hour in line!" The old man started to holler stirring up trouble.

Wasting no time the woman sitting behind the desk yelled, "Security! Get these two out of here."

Instantaneously it seemed like 2 buff guards seemed to appear. One of them grabbed the old man by his shoulders rather aggressively pulling him out the door. The other one went for the boy. But all his efforts were futile, because like a statue glued in place the boy's feet weren't moving from that spot on the tile floor.

"I told you…." He murmurs mostly to himself as reaffirmation that he was true to his word. "I'm _not_ leaving until I GET ANSWERS." There was no fear in his voice at all, instead a strong vocal of pure determination.

"Ugh! Why does everyone insist on making my job so difficult!" The woman behind the counter complained as she spun in her seat. Her eyes went up in the air as if begging God to help her from flipping all this shit on her desk over and marching out yelling, ' _I quit!'_ By the actual time her focus fell back on the boy lingering at the side of her station, he had a bit of broken emotion forming in his eyes.

" _Please,_ " The boy started to say as he made his way to stand in front of her desk again. "Explain how this can be."

"Explain what, kid?" Her voice was still very careless as she flipped her computer screen over to show him. "It's all right there. All the facts you seek." Long pink nails motioned to the search bar of public records, "Gon Freecss isn't a REAL PERSON. He doesn't exist. There is NO ONE. ABSOLUTELY NO ONE. Here in this world born with the name Gon Freecss. I can't give a birth certificate for someone who isn't real!"

Focusing his steady pupils on the screen his heart started to race. "No...Please! Please! TELL ME THIS IS A JOKE!" The boy cried out; a few tears rolling down his cheek. He pushed his Hunter's license in the woman's hands insistently, causing many of the people waiting in line to look in confusion at the commotion. "Please, my name...I need to know.. I...I can't save anyone without my name!" He sobbed, legs trembling, the hunter license slowly slipped into the woman's hand as her fingers locked around it.

"This surprisingly looks legit…" The lady sitting behind the counter admitted _finally_ taking pity on the poor boy. "It COULD BE real."

"It is!" He blurted out this time more somber as all the butterflies seemed to be pouring out of his eyelids uncontrollably. He couldn't hold back or pretend the mocking voices in his head weren't breaking down his confidence.

There was great heavy hesitation in the woman's voice as she spoke tenderly, "I know.. it's just that legally, this piece of plastic is meaningless against hardcore facts." She once again motioned to the screen.

More tears fell furiously from the male's eyes because he couldn't look at the screen or even begin to comprehend the complexity of the situation in the slightest without the voices taking over. _"Useless!USELESS USELESS! USELESS! uSeLess! USEleSS, useless! He left you because you're useless to him now! no name.. no proof. NO signs of your very existence_." They chanted almost snickering about his situation maliciously.

Not like he could escape it either because the voices were preaching the truth. On the screen there was a name typed in the search bar, yet other than that and a family tree on the screen it was blank. The tree branches ending at the last _'Freecss_ ' in the family being Mito and Ging.

Then the most horrifying was the bold lettering spelling out the name searched for in the family:

 _ **h2 class="heading" style="border-width: 0px 0px 2px; border-bottom-style: solid; outline: 0px; font-weight: 400; font-size: 2.143em; font-family: Georgia, serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0.429em 0px 0.429em 100px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1; word-break: break-all; text-align: right; color: #2a2a2a; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Dj kahled voice: another one/h2**_

The woman threw her hands up yelling, "LOOK AT THIS KID YOU BROKE THE WHOLE ENTIRE DAMN COMPUTER. Stop acting crazy."

The 16 year old let out an slight hurting sob. His shoulders sagging as his body found it self slouching in shame.

There might as well just have been on the screen:

 _ **NO SEARCH RESULTS FOUND FOR "GON FREECSS"**_

But naaww, the universe had to do him dirty and write fucking codes on the screen. _WHAT THE FUCK are the codes even for? Why the fuck did it say, DJ Kahled voice?_

The woman slowly handed the Hunter license back to him. "I am so sorry for you. But under the law I can't issue you a birth certificate this is not enough evidence."

"I am GON FREECSS!" Somber brown eyes flashed as Gon insisted forcefully pushing the licenses back in her hand. "This is a di-" His voice cracked as it dropped low, " _Dire_ situation for me..."

"Hpth!" The woman grabbed Gon's Hunter License in a pissed off mood and then flung it into the air. "Well don't drag me into your family drama! I don't get paid enough to hear all that shit!" She then spun her chair around away from facing Gon as if shutting him down.

Gon gasped literally as the Hunter license he worked so hard for seemed to lose value as it fell to the floor in a heap. He couldn't help the way his body reacted next. He couldn't control the sobbing coming from his lips or the shaking his body was doing like it was an earthquake that just started. His shoulders heaved up and down as he hollered, "Please! Don't do me like this! DON'T! PLEASE! I'm asking you… I'm BEGGING YOU…. PLEASE, I'm BEGGING YOU NICELY!"

He felt the strength of both security guards grabbing him this time. Easily they lifted him up from the floor in his moment of helpless despair. All he managed to do was grab his Hunter license and slip it back into his pocket. His hot tears pounded against the floor like rain that seemed to be chanting, " _It's over isn't it?"_

" _Yes it's all over so just give up…_ " The voices taunted the further he got away from the desk the closer he got back into the living hell that he was now forced to accept. He was being dragged back into the darkness of something that he didn't want. An unfriendly reminder of who he didn't want to be, but slowly found himself forced to become.

"And don't come back stirring up trouble you delinquent!" A guard snapped hostile as he closed the door.

It was slammed harshly, the _'bang_ ' felt more like a bullet shot straight through his heart. Gon grabbed his head and fought all he could against gravity to fight from falling to his knees in agony. His stomach was still churning, with rage, anger, a boatload of sadness. Maybe it was his fault since Gon was the type of person who didn't forget things and forgive people easily. A part of Gon knew that him cutting a fool in public would haunt his dreams for the next few days. Yet another part of him didn't care and couldn't care when there was so much else to worry about.

In a pissed off hiss, he balled up his fist wanting to punch the ground and throw a pity party fit but he didn't. Instead Gon let out a whisper, "Fuck." That was it. A description of how he felt right now.

He did feel really fucked up.

"Gon…" A voice yelled out for him as a car pulled up. The window rolled down to catch sight of his Aunt looking at him somberly. Lowly she whispered out, "Oh Gon…" She unlocked the car door only to see Gon pull it open.

The boy had walked like a zombie just to get there. Then the way he sat down in the car so quiet except for his broken sobbing. She rubbed her temples speaking some common sense, "Listen.. Gon. I can tell, you didn't get the answer you want. I'm sorry. We can try ag-"

"It's a waste of time." Gon choked out as his mind started to wrap around coming to terms with it all. "All of it."

Mito opened her mouth slightly as her eyebrows knitted together, "What do you me-"

"Tell me! Tell me the truth, Aunt Mito!" Gon sunk his face in his hands as he exasperated, "Do I exist?"

The woman looked so shocked and surprised at Gon like he'd lost his mind as she gasped, "Of course you're real Gon! You're my nephew! I love you! What the hell is wrong with you? Why would you ask something as stupid as that? You're here talking to me RIGHT NOW!"

Looking up shakily his brown eyes met his Aunt's for blessed reassurance. "This. This is real. I am real." Gon knew why he had to announce it. It was because he was troubled over what that damn lady had said about him. How she claimed he failed to exist. It had pissed him off more than he'd like to think it had.

"That's right." Came the a new found pleasant voice of his Aunt Mito. The more he looked at her he observed how well put together she was, her red hair was neatly tucked in a bun above her head that made her look way more lively and put together than usually. It actually made Gon a bit relaxed to see her cheerful.

It made him wish his life could just be perfect like before. Yet Gon had been pretending so for so long that he didn't know what was actually real anymore. He couldn't distinguish between a forced happy mood and a true one.

All his childhood had been so carefree he guessed it was only natural for all that karma to come back someday. Yet he still wasn't quite sure how to conquer it. Coping was hard, but pretending to be okay was easier.

Gon let loose that same cheap smile (he usually did) as he leaned up to her. Gently kissing her cheek, "Thank you Aunt Mito. Thanks for driving me here. You're right we can keep trying. Maybe we can get Ging next time to come around and…"

Her yellow eyes softening drastically as if something wasn't utterly clear to Gon than it should be right now. Mito looked at Gon as she gently pushed him back from her explaining firmly, "Gon. I thought you were old enough to know by now….. Ging isn't ever going to come back." She placed her hands on the steering wheel tapping in anxiously. "Like ever Gon. Never coming to us."

A blank expression came on Gon's face as if he didn't comprehend the words out of his Aunt's mouth. It was like she just spoke in an entire other language all of a sudden. The boy took a deep breath as he muttered, "What? Why wouldn't he?"

"He doesn't care Gon." Mito hissed almost as if she repeated the name _'Ging'_ The bastard might just fuck some more shit up. "He doesn't CARE about us."

Gon felt his smile drop as he looked at his Aunt completely confused, "I talked to him though… a few years ago…"

"Years ago! And then you have yet to hear back from him!"

"Yeah, but he's busy. Plus you said yourself he never wanted to abandon me with you."

"Gon!" Aunt Mito raised her voice up to a yell as she looked at him frustrated. "I'm only telling you this..so you don't get your hopes up. Don't get your hopes up thinking he'll come here for you."

Gon ruffled his fingers through his jet black hair trying to calm himself down. The voices in his head chanting _, "Yeah because Ging's not gonna come back to you...No one cares about you. You're a nobody who outside the Hunter society world fails to exist._ " It made him agree with his aunt reluctantly, "Yes, Aunt Mito. I won't. I won't get get my hopes up. Not like good things are ACTUALLY allowed to happen to me."

"Yes they will." Aunt Mito gave him a weak smile yet it was very sincere.

"Can we just leave...? I have to get to my doctor's appointment." Gon mumbled as he locked the car doors. He wanted to just be locked away from the outside world with their terrible influences. He wanted to lock himself away, forever. He was shamefully a coward towards his future at the moment. Every inch of him feared every passing second would only bring more torment and suffering for him. Constantly he'd cut himself off like this, for the safety of his feelings.

Gon was unfortunately a very influential and sensitive person; he was raging inside right now. When he got upset he became edgy, determined and agitated. Gon became reckless and he could no longer think about multiple outcomes of his decisions. He just acted completely impulsive letting out his wild nature.

Aunt Mito seemed to notice this wild nature taking hold of her nephew as she changed gears in the car. "Okay. We're going…" Her foot tapped the gas pedal as she drove off.

Gon felt sick and just wanted to literally cut out altogether just detaching his stomach from his body. This had to be the end of his life, right here, right now, he was falling apart.

Just like the bit of throw up that hit the back of his mouth was now tumbling out out the car window. He'd barely let his window down in time and it was a good thing he was in the parking lot of the assholes who kicked him out the damn place.

"Holy crap!" Aunt Mito slammed on the breaks upon hearing her nephew gagging over with his head hanging out the window.

In which Gon sent up a silent curse, literally Gon couldn't believe what rotten luck he had. "Food poisoning." He rubbed his stomach forcing the belief upon himself. Closing his tearful brown eyes, all Gon could do was lie some more with an excuse to why his stomach was acting up. "I must have not finished cooking the bacon this morning."

His defiant attitude towards the situation was what was hurting him. The fact that he placed the blame on himself was draining his life force away. The fact that he couldn't take the first step and tell his problems to the world. The fact that he now tried to handle everything himself when he couldn't.

"Damn it!" Mito sighed as she looked at the sick boy sitting in the passenger seat beside her hissing, "Don't lie to me. You can't lie to me like this Gon. You need to tell me if you're not well." She pulled out some napkins handing it to him.

Gon took them quickly wiping his face but making very little eye contact instead focusing his brown orbs trying to focus on the sun above. Unconsciously Gon began humming quietly, but not for himself. He was humming to drown out another voice who he strongly wanted to pretend wasn't in the car with him. But he couldn't because deep down inside—-literally inside him that burden was resting there. It was one Gon couldn't shake so he just hummed.

 _Louder. LOUDER. lOUdER._ Till the point his humming seemed loud enough to be heard over a rowdy marching band. Only once he heard the repeat beat bounce off would he drop his octave. It hushed the voices sometimes.

Gon hated the voices.

Pulling out his phone he quickly texted, the only person he felt like he could lean on right now.

[ **Gon** ] So I came back from the official records office and I might not be a real person.

[ **Lightning Cute Kid** ] WTF? I spent 2 weeks in solitary confinement and I don't get good news.

[ **Gon** ] OMG! You actually answered. I thought you hated me…You were gone for so long. ;(

 **[Lightning Cute Kid** ] I could never hate you. You're too cute for that. :D

[ **Gon** ] Mmm, were you on a mission?

[ **Lightning Cute Kid]** Did you not read the text on solitary confinement?

[ **Gon** ] Oh so sorry. Are you out now?

[ **Lightning Cute Kid** ] HOW ELSE WOULD I BE TEXTING THIS?

[ **Gon** ] I DoN'T kNoW! I DOnT reALly EXIST.

[ **Lightning Cute Kid** ]: Oh hell no. I might have to carry out another assassination on some people then. Who I need to take out first, baby boy?

[ **Gon** ] NO ONE! Gosh… I'm still going to try and get into the doctor's office wish me luck.

[ **Lightning Cute Kid** ]: Good luck. You wanna meet at Starbucks for coffee or something to talk about it? I am catching a ship coming over there this afternoon. I should be there by tomorrow.

At the mention of a coffee shop, Gon had to close his phone. He exited out the chat and rubbed his stomach complaining for a good few minutes. Shaking his head steadily in revolution to the whole entire proposed idea. There were WAY better places to meet. Plus the cliche of coffee shops was far too overused.

Gon had to be smart about this, as well as brave, bold, and everything that he _used_ to constantly be. Currently he was nothing but a really worn down sad case of foolish love making. Everything that growing up he'd been warned NOT to be.


	5. Don't shake the embryo Gon! (5)

"Grow up, Killua! You're 16!" The tone of voice was squealed loudly announcing with vibrant annoyance ringing upwards to hit his ears despite a large height difference between them. The purple haired girl placed a hand on her hip, standing to the side a tad bit, as the taller male kept walking straight forward ignoring her like she didn't even exist. Forcing her to persist relentlessly, "But acting like you're 5 years old! Giving me the silent treatment? What did I even do?"

Killua flicked his white bangs from his eyes, setting down his heavy backpack full of clothes on the bus stop bench as he looked back up from the sight of green grass to see a heated angry face beaming down at him. A smug look was embedding itself on his lips as the boy pulled his phone out his pocket casually, brushing their close contact off like a fly just trying to taste some cake.

"HONESTLY WHAT THE HECK!? BIG BROTHER!" She raged on throwing her hands in the air, the wind flickering the corner of curls laced from her head. Her voice growing deeply distraught by the second as she strained, "Would YOU AT LEAST TALK TO ME...?!"

Not even sparing a glance upwards at all the boy calmly and coolly said, "Why would I?"

"You're always hanging leaving me to hang with Gon! Just is..? Are you his boyfriend?"

"Excuse, _you_... who are you to know that information?"

"I AM YOUR LITTLE SISTER! You KNOW ME!"

"That fact I'm well aware of that."

"THE NAME IS ALLUKA ZOLDYCK! Can you kindly stop acting like I'm too young and immature to know stuff. I'm 14 years old."

"Mmm..."

"What does that even mean?"

"It means, right now you're bothering me..." Killua mumbled flicking through text messages on his phone. "Alluka, some stuff I just can't tell you about. However that doesn't affect my unwavering love for you."

Feeling like she was being put down by her big brother, once again began to get Alluka heated as she scrunched up her hand forming a tight fist with shimmering hatred for being looked down upon. She knew she should probably should cut Killua some slack... her brother usually never spoke much to anyone outside their family except for Gon. So it was obvious to her that they were dating! But….. she wanted to hear Killua confess it.

Alluka felt like screaming, ' _HELLO IS THERE ANY COMMON SENSE IN YOUR BRAIN!? I SAID I WAS YOUR HONESTY LOYAL LITTLE SIBLING!'_ Instead she fought down her sour twisting feeling. Instead a burn in her kindness hole was made, so opening up brightly she held out her hand. "I love you too big brother. For that reason I want to understand what's up with Gon and yourself."

It didn't seem to make Killua scowl instead he snorted out a brief, "Okay? No. Don't be childish."

Alluka watched the last straw of her self control disintegrate before her very eyes as outrage surged through her sisterly instincts kicking them up like a power up. "I'M NOT JUST A LITTLE KID ANYMORE!" Snatching the phone right of Killua's grip her brown eyes flashed hissing dangerously, "I DEMAND TO KNOW YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GON! I feel like you're replacing me!"

"What the hell you're always gonna be my little sister so just...!?" Killua swiped up only gathering air as Alluka stuck the electronic device out of reach.

The white haired male growing more aggressive especially when the girl started going through his phone taunting, "Look! Gon's number~! And it's saved under... **' _If the sun was chocolate_** ' oooh-how cute!"

"Cut it out, Alluka!" Killua howled starting to rise to his feet ready to clobber her. "Give it back!"

Alluka grinned maliciously watching how large Killua's orbs got as she started to read out the messages aloud,

"[ ** _If the sun was chocolate ]_** I don't really like coffee, it's a cringe drink. I only drink it when I need it. Instead….Would you like to meet me at Chuck E. Cheese? They have cheese. PIZZA!

[ ** _If the sun was chocolate_** ] We really, _really_ do have to talk. So you better be thrilled to visit Chuck E. Cheese!"

Killua's face was pale of all color when he'd heard Alluka read the first messages out loud. But his cheeks and ears were the brightest of red by the time she'd gotten to the last one. A feeling of frantic stormed through him as he huffed, "GIVE IT BACK!" Jumping at her like a kangaroo only to have her slide out the way like a snake.

Alluka laughed beginning to read Killua's sent back text to Gon this time adding in his deep more manly accent,

"[ **Killua** ] I can see that you've opened the messages. You think _you slick_ but it shows R for a reason!

[ **Killua** ] I have ten free minutes before my parents get home if you wanna call.

[ **Killua** ] Translation: _you have ten minutes to redeem yourself and let us meet somewhere else other than Chuck E. Cheese._

[ **Killua** ] Make that eight minutes.

[ **Killua** ] Seven minutes.

[ **Killua** ] Five, Gon. "

By this time before Alluka could scroll any further Killua had clobbered her. Shoving her to the ground as he pinned her down. Hastily yanking the phone from her pocket as he scowled gruffly, "STOP THAT!"

Alluka grinned cheekily urging, "It was just getting good!" She flung her arms around Killua hugging him. "I support your relationship. In fact, he probably looks so much different. When can I see him again?"

"Not anytime soon. He's pre-" Bitting his tongue the 16 year old caught himself. Clearing up, "Just be satisfied now!?" Killua fired back locking his phone in case the short girl—annoying sister of his wanted to be play thief deciding to have sticky fingers again to snatch away what was rightfully his own property.

"Yes." Alluka hummed blinking her eyes quickly and rather pretty. " _So..."_ A sweet tone replacing her once sour, "Gon is your boyfriend."

"No!" Killua rebuked the statement sharply then the fire behind his blue eyes seemed to die down. He sighed half heartedly, fixing the beanie on top of his head he babbled, "It's complicated, alright? Just stay out of it! Please, be sure to forget you ever read those messages!"

Alluka looked at him feeling misplaced by the words that dared chained together to make a sentence that more so formulated only fragments of the truth. Pressing her lips together meekly her eyes reflected the sunlight like she was lost deep in her thoughts.

She took a look at the book bag beside Killua then lowly murmured, "You're leaving me, aren't you?" Her voice fell so gracefully as if bringing up the truth was too heartbreaking for her.

"Alluka… I'm.." Killua tucked his head down a bit with shame. His white locks covered his cloudy blue eyes as he sucked on his tongue sadly. Boldly he plastered up a phony expression, "I'm not. What makes you think that? This is just another assassination mission."

A lie.

 _Lies made life a lot easier_ …

Sometimes Killua told so many lies on top of lies, he couldn't recall his own lies. But to him lies where okay. For example, Killua acting shocked and not telling Gon about erasing his existence. A TOTAL LIE.

Did Killua care?

 _No._

Should he care?

 _Well, that question is up for debate since Killua considered his way the best way of handling stuff._

All that matter was the outcome. Sometimes people had to hustle and turn butter into cream anyway. Plus when it came to finessing the system, Killua was an expert. So when a lie passed through his lips, he didn't think twice about it or bring it back. He rolled with it.

Therefor knowing her brother, Alluka was not the slightest bit shocked by the answer.

She knew it was a _damn lie_ but she couldn't bring herself to acknowledge it.

In the end if she said anything else it wouldn't make much of a difference. She shook her head, "There's nothing I can do to stop you."

"Alluka, I'll call you. I always do." Killua confirmed trying be be strong. It wasn't that in the least part that he felt bad for leaving his family.

It was just about leaving _her_.

Alluka sighed numbly. She wanted Killua to feel her sorrow but nevertheless it seemed he'd firmly remain implanted with this decision in his mind. Trying to act tough she made a fist huffing, "Yeah! Whatever sure you will! I'll take your phone again and teach you a lesson about desertion." She gave Killua a rough shove and crossed her arms defiantly.

Killua was breathing raggedly as his orbs darkened at her; pointing warningly he declared, "If you ever try that shit again with me, I swear to God! Girl or not one day we all gonna fall! Gosh, I am doing this to protect you, Alluka." His voice cracked a bit as he looked at her compassionately, "You think I would purposely want to hurt you?"

"Why are you like this?" Alluka said almost amidst wonder at how easily frazzled and thrown off his game Killua had become with his face still bright red in embarrassment with nothing but almost shame that was unrealistic over what had occurred.

"M-mmee.. me?" Killua sputtered like a broken faucet barely heard over the rumbling engine of the bus pulling up to the stop. Plus the nasty sniff of the fumes filled his nostrils enough to increase the sudden headache, he didn't consider to be that much apparent.

"Yeah. Are you asha-" There was no conclusion to Alluka's sentence maybe because Killua knew what was coming even before it fell from her mouth. The older boy raced back to the bench gathering his stuff up hustle back towards the bus right as the doors opened.

Cutting her words off with, "I'll miss you. But time will fly while we're apart, so go home and rest up. If I'm clear, I'll send for you!" Killua shouted to Alluka before he stepped onto the bus bleakly, swiping his card to pay for his ride before turning around watching the doors of the bus shut close tightly on Alluka's lost wandering gaze clearly awestruck.

Her reflection in the glass began to fade as Killua walked deeper into the vehicle finding a seat near the quiet back corner where he sat his backpack down and rested his head on the cushion. With a heavy sigh he felt his fingers start to quake, his mind wandering on the following scenes he just experienced and blindsided by it all.

People... Growing suspect of their relationship? Killua wasn't lying when he claimed he couldn't tell any knowledge to Alluka. Gon and him swore to secrecy until they die. Oh Killua wanted to tell his sister! He loathed being so mean and cold to her. But if too many people leaked out that they were together... it wouldn't be good for neither of them. Everything seemed to be going south too fast for the train to come to a stop, since rumors only grow unless the truth was set free.

 _But would telling the truth really mean losing both their lives?_

Raising a shaky finger to unlock his phone his eyes glanced over Gon's number before hesitating wondering if he was at his doctor's appointment yet or still waiting. Killua didn't wanna seem desperate or rude yet his thumping jumping nervous heart needed to be reassured that everything would be alright and their plan would be successful no matter what the odds.

His fingers seemed to have a mind of their own since Killua was so lost in his gaze out the window he failed to notice pressing the call button until a smooth soft voice broke through his speakers, "Hello...Killua?"

Killua wouldn't admit how much more reassuring just hearing the Gon's voice once more had the power to heal almost all his stress. In fact awkwardly Killua crackled with his voice cracking a bit, "What? No, ' _Bout time you called me back! Always stick with me_ ' or _'I've been waiting damn it ya better not worry me again?_ ' I actually can't believe that for once calling back late isn't gonna get me an inspirational speech?"

"Huh? You freaking... I'll rant to raise your spirits later. I don't mind the late call even if it was purposely so slow! I'm at the doctor...so I gotta act calm and civilized."

"You acting calm? Who? My sweet, Gon?"

"HAha.. Ha! Feel my sarcasm."

"What, I'm funny?"

"Your jokes are drier than the Sahara desert."

Killua found himself grinning like an idiot at those words knowing that Gon was probably doing the same thing in the doctor's office right now with everyone looking at him wondering if the teen was a tad bit loony. But even better Killua know to keep this call on topic, "So... your at the doctor. Did they confirm the... well, ya know?"

The cheerfulness from Gon's voice dropped slightly as he told him firmly, "All we can go by is the test... it was _pink._ "

Killua stared out the window watching the houses and telephone poles go by as he swallowed numbly, "You must be scared...I'm sorry. I should be there for you. If only my parents didn't hold me back, I would have made it over there by now."

"No, no... you're fine. Plus I know you're actually able to live up to expectations given to you.."

"Gon, be strong for me, baby boy. Don't cry, even if it's confirmed. I promise, I'm catching the next ship over to Whale Island right now."

"Aren't you the one who should be worried? You do the most sneaking around. If your parents finds out we fu-"

"I KNOW." Killua snapped cutting off the discussion before it even started mentally groaning. "I'm coming over okay? And…. Look no one needs to know. NEVER."

"How long till people start getting suspicious? I mean, I'm not even legal.. I DON'T EXIST! Then what if they…?" Gon asked almost afraid the situation would exacerbate out of control if he pushed too far.

"Don't worry. It won't happen." Killua knew he couldn't confirm the true outcome of the situation no matter how hard he tried to bend the ideas in his mind, truly no one could tell the future but one thing was clear: Having sex without marriage (in his family) was a crime punishable by death for creation a bastard child.

"Killua..." Gon acted like he was gonna say something more but instead he withdrew himself saying, "Look, I gotta go. They just called my name."

"Okay, remember our plan."

"We're still getting married next week?"

"Something like that." Killua nodded as if speaking right in front of Gon trying to connect all the pieces together in his mind like a puzzle. "If anyone ask for more information, leave it alone till we get for sure answers."

"Okay." Gon smooching into the speaker saying, "I'll be waiting for you at Chuck E. Cheese."

"I SWEAR-Gon WE ARE NOT MEETING!" Killua looked at the time on his phone reading the words: ' **Call end 3:45 minutes**.' Making him wanna throw his phone across the bus as he outraged clearly at discord with meeting Gon at Chuck E. Cheese tomorrow. But the he could understand why Gon wanted to meet there especially under these circumstances.

Killua zipped up his hoodie figuring he better get a good rest while he could, since tomorrow was gonna be a long day especially on the terms that soon he'd learn if he was gonna be a father.


	6. Don't shake the embryo Gon! (6)

There was a special charm that only Gon had that could actually make Killua walk into Chuck E Cheese. It was strange at first all the stares he got. It must have been because it was such a small island everyone knew everyone. So when Killua met up with Gon in the stamp line, there was already rumors.

From people whispering, "Look at him. Can't believe Gon got himself tangled up a boy like that. Shouldn't he be killing people or something."

It wasn't until Killua actually became a frequent visitor at Whale island did people start to catch hold of his face and get nervous around him. They probably figured he was plotting to murder all of them.

An old woman employee with excellent perfection swung the stamp in her hand chirping, "I'm gonna need to see a child with you two in order to enter." Her eyes shot daggers at the both of them like they were criminal convicts opposed to kind customers.

Overly excited and giddy Gon practically had to prevent himself from jumping up and down. He shot a grin up at Killua who returned a warm smile. Sparking Gon up to say, "Right in here." He flashed a bit of his shirt of proudly revealing his toned core.

For a good few seconds the woman stared at them like they were crazy. She took off her glasses from her face as if she needed to give a proper inspection of the two of them. All she saw was two muscular dudes who looked like they belonged at a modeling company rather than Chuck E Cheese. She really appeared perplexed when she leaned over screwing up an eyebrow in confusion at Gon's flat stomach.

Gon kept right on smiling like it was no big deal at all. "Killua is with me. It's really an experience for the 3 of us but we're only paying for 2 right now." He seemed to brag out in an almost unique way it laced with a bit of pride.

Killua got a certain gleam in his mischievous blue eyes and an almost anxious facial expression. Half of him didn't know what Gon was actually thinking going off on a limb and acting like that. He shot a look at him reading: ' _What the heck are you doing?_ '

Gon rolled his eyes skywards in response as if teasing, ' _Just because no one can know about our relationship doesn't mean they won't know our child._ ' He nudged the other male forward urging him to carry on with it.

Dumbly almost mildly with dull interest Killua pulled out some pocket change— and by pocket change he meant a good 100 yen to bribe the employee to just let them past the damn velvet ropes. He shoved the cash in her hand saying, "You speak of this to no one. He was traumatized by weird half ant, quarter human, quarter cat, earlier on in life. REALLY FUCKED him up."

When the woman cleared her throat very loudly she took the cash, wishing she turned a deaf ear to that comment. In triumph the old lady seemed to mumble out a troubled, "Well.. Ummm… I guess, hands?"

"Thank you." Gon chirped out happily. He offered out his hand getting the stamp then walking inside.

People had their eyes glued to them. Killua wasn't gonna dismiss that or bribe half of those two faced ass wipes. They could choke on air and fucking die for all he carried. In fact Killua encouraged it—JUST CHOKE FOR EATING SUCH NASTY FOOD.

 _Damn_ , every part of Killua knew Gon deserved better than _this_. What the actual fuck? Why was Gon, a prohunter looming around in a shitty place like this?

"You're so beautiful, Gon." Killua's voice was a bit gruff and raspy at first, but all his words were laced in tenderness and love. However he said it while crossing the barrer to get inside the playground area. He made no motion to go over and embrace his lover at first, instead it seemed his mind was elsewhere.

Tilting his head to the side, Gon blush as he tried to catch a picture of what possibly could his boyfriend be looking at. "Killua? Did I do something wrong?" Gon asked hesitantly as he pressed his lips together full of concern.

"No." Killua muttered, allowing a smile to ghost across his lips, he gently brushed away a piece of stray black hair away from his lover's porcelain face, smirking when the young boy next to him mewled softly before laying his hand on top of his. "You did everything just right sunshine. I mean SURE. You made me meet you at this crappy place. It smells like vomit and sweaty 6 year olds who haven't showered since they were 4."

"Hey! As a kid, I always wanted to go to this place." He darted his eyes around admiring it. "So stop looking like that. I don't like to see you worry." Gon hummed enjoying the sweet affection he was being shown, he couldn't help but squeeze their hands firmly.

The white haired male rolled his toned shoulder muscles, as if he was gearing up for a fight. Killua hated how people were silently judging them. They didn't know anything. They didn't know about them. _Who told them it was okay to stare?_

"They're bees." Killua murmured almost as if he spoke too loudly they might come up and swarm at him angrily stinging.

"Oh.." Gon said still not quite following where his boyfriend was going with this.

"They work 24/7 then finally have a day off with their kids. And they still gossip like they're at work! Like… like our actions affect them. For what? To please the government? Are they all undercover FBI agents using us to get money? Do they want us suffer all out miserable lives?" Wrinkling up his nose, Killua scoffed, "It makes me sick to see so many people running around like chickens with their balls cut off." When he said it, it was from the deep hatred turmoil of his heart.

"Well, I'm sure some of them have good reasons." Gon mumbled, "Like if they work alot it's to take good care of their family and provide them a house and food to eat."

Still upon hearing his lover, Killua shot an eyebrow up as he looked down at Gon. His expression seemed to pondering if Gon was trying to throw shade at him or not. Yet Gon's stone cold almost endearing cute face didn't give Killua a tip off in the slightest. Still it troubled him, to a certain degree that Gon might be implying that, _he_ , Killua Zoldyck, might not be doing all he could to support and care for his family. So he couldn't help but feel criticized.

Killua raised his hand to gingerly stoke the side of his Gon's face. The softness of the peach skin on Gon's body never ceased to fascinate him, it's soft glow reminding him of the moon's shine across the desert sand. Killua just couldn't forgive himself for bringing so much pain upon such a precious angel. It was damning for him to know he couldn't fix what had already been broken in Gon or himself, but Killua was working on doing the best he could do now to prevent them from ever being hurt again.

"Yeah whatever. You always brighten up my day." Killua said massaging the apple of Gon's cheek gently. "So….Stop being so damn cute in the middle of nasty Chuck E Cheese."

"Okay then! Let's get coins and get a cheese pizza!" Gon hollered out almost over enthusiastically like he was a little kid again. He started running towards the main desk pulling Killua behind him.

Killua stumbled around a bit. The lank male trying not to plow down any rowdy running around children. He made sure to hold onto Gon's hand tightly. Especially when the pregnant boy started leaning forward eagerly overjoyed at the feeling and the music filling his ears.

Killua pulled out his wallet this time, as Gon pointed to the large overpriced steamy hot pizza on the menu. "One large EXTRA EXTRA EXTRA EXTRA CHEEEEEEESSSSEEEEE." Killua made sure to stress cheese for Gon's sake. The shorter male nodding eagerly.

The man behind the desk had on a resting bitch face reading, _'I hate my life and my job. Please assassinate me.'_ He tapped on the touch screen monitor. All while looking dead as fuck inside he even asked, "You want the extra coins with that? We have a coupon that makes ya get them."

"Umm…" Killua looked at Gon who nodded his head vigorously. So he agreed, "Sure?" Then he leaned in more questioning the young teen, "But honestly don't you think giving us coins is a tad odd?"

"It's not my job to judge how other people live their life, sir." The teen shrugged. Then in a natural dorky teenage fashion he gave their total took the money and handed them the order number. A few seconds later he can around with a cup of coins sliding it over to them.

Before Killua could open his mouth and speak, Gon beat him to it. The smaller male blurted, "So let's go playing some more video games and enjoy life while we still got time!" He spun around barely missing a pizza stain from some wild 8 years old bratt.

"Oh.. okay." Killua scanned around for a game playing something that they would both enjoy. Soon as he spotted it he clapped his hands together gleefully.

"Whoa!" Gon yelped out slightly as he felt Killua's strong hands lift him up from off the floor. "I can walk myself!"

"But ya see, lifting you is like my rare extra work out."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Killua grinning as he rocked Gon in his arms a bit bragging, "Look baby boy, I don't mean to bring weapons in a kid zone, but…" He flexed his rock sized muscles a bit showing them off like at a gun show.

Gon couldn't hold back a burst of laughter, "Hahaha!" He winked at Killua giving him props at how fit the boy was but it wasn't something Gon hadn't seen before. Gon had his muscles and as if taking a clap back at his boyfriend he placed his hand over his neck. "I could drop your body right, now. BUT I won't...because I love you."

"Heh…" Killua let a sly smug expression come over him as he carried Gon. Literally it wasn't that far. He carried Gon more than 15 steps; then placed his boyfriend on the floor.

"Don't be like that I'm just joking…" Gon muttered lowly then oozing out the words, " _Maybe_ …"

At first, Killua looked ready to throw him, but he put Gon down gently after reminding himself that Gon was carrying precious cargo. Still soon as they were seated, Killua angrily started mashing on the controller. He tapped the screen, "Race car. Mario karts. It's a classic."

"Have you ever even played Mario Karts before?"

Killua selected more random stuff on the screen. "That doesn't matter….I've seen it played before. Same difference."

"Umm..Yeah no. I don't think so." Gon instructed still messing with Killua's hair carelessly. "Read the instructions."

Pressing the buttons, Killua laughed lightly. "You doubt my race car abilities?"

Gon lifted his hands out of Killua's hair, and folded his arms sourly across his chest. Killua rolled his eyes having the audacity to actually start putting in the coins to play on a track then not pay attention to what was going on.

"Whoa whoa! Killua what the heck are you doing?" Gon stressed as he whipped his head around to see Killua chilling with one hand on the steering wheel.

The white haired male continued to keep filing down his nails and shaping them without even looking up from his art to focus or respond. He just said, "Baby boy, you see what I'm doing. I'm working on my nicely manicured knife hands."

"You MEAN YOUR NAILS?" Gon practically yelled, half of him baffled as to where Killua had even found a nail kit so quickly. (Though he shouldn't have doubted the fact Killua just carried such things in his pockets.)

"MY KNIFE HANDS."

"Okay, I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU CALL THEM! Just don't do them while driving!"

"Why? I'm a professional. I can do this awesome things called multitasking and..."

"Multitasking my ass!"

"I would like to multitask in your ass too, babe."

"Shut up this is NOT THE TIME! YOU TRYING TO GET US KILLED?"

"Well, I hate my life." Killua made sure to boldly state in a harsh matter of fact tone as he rolled his eyes. "Heck, if I ever build up the courage I might just jump in front of a bus instead of catching it."

Gon let out a low groan as he grabbed the wheel over from Killua. "You just stop! JUST STOP!"

Immediately Killua yanked the wheel back into is grasp snapping, "No way! If I stop the police with get us!"

"What police?" Gon motioned outwards. "There is no police! THIS IS A RACE!"

"This is a race?" Killua looked at Gon dumbfounded for a few seconds before going off ranting, "Why the bloody heck did you want me to stop driving recklessly then? Have you seen me? Check my speed! CHECK IT!"

"Because if you drive crazy then we'll WRECK!" Gon urged not quite understanding why Killua didn't grasp this concept. "IT'S SO SIMPLISTIC IT'S BAD!"

"Well don't put this on me!" Killua exclaimed madly as he dropped his nail filer to the floor. He hollered loudly, "I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I DON'T KNOW!"

"That's not a good thing!"

"Well at least if I die... I'll die with nice freshly done manicured knife hands."

Gon cried out in dismay as he threw his hands up complaining, "That's it! I quit! We won't win!"

Killua elbowed Gon lightly teasing, "Not with that attitude." A playful undertone was in his voice that made Gon even more skeptical if Killua clearly comprehended their situation over here.

"No I mean..." Gon stood up calmly. He pointed at the screen elaborating, "We are literally so far behind there is no way we can win."

Killua's lips slid into a hollow frown as he babbled, "Oh.. well you have a point there sweetheart." He smashed a few options with the steering wheel and backed away. He jumped out the chair pointing at a new activity: "Guess we can play another game to work on beating the high score on."

Gon tried hard to keep a smile on his face attempting to fight back and validate his point of coming here in a time like this. "Yeah. But ya see…. I didn't come here to lose Killua." He scooped a handful of coins out of their plastic cup. "I came here to win."

The voices in Gon's brain rang out, " _Win win win! No matter what win. Must win and keep on winning._ " For a rare moment Gon found himself nodding his head in agreement. In a more twisted way his smile contoured having him lose his mind for just a little bit of time.

"Just to win?" Killua repeated the words they sounded rather odd for Gon. In fact the last time Gon talked like this it was right before he ended up in the hospital.

Which was more _frightening_ for Killua to imagine now more than anything.

So immediately without thinking Killua blurted, "NOOOOOOO!" At the top of his lungs. He slapped the coins right out of Gon's hands. Striking them down on the ground the artificial money went flying in a loud clanger like a thunderstorm to the floor.

A look of surprise came over Gon; his hand started shaking in shock at the action. A bit of water built up in his brown eyes as he murmured, "Why… why'd you do that?" He jerked back away from Killua almost as if his feelings were hurt. A pissy confused expression flooded over his face, "You freaking spilled all my chances at immo-"

"FREE COINS!" A flood of little kids engulfed all over the floor. They dropped to their knees eagerly picking up the shower of gold. Gon was too upset at Killua to shoo the little vultures away. So he just saltily stood there with a distressed look.

Killua threw his hands in the air proclaiming, "Well what do you want from me? I'm helping you." He made sure to enforce the tone, "You know how you get, Gon."

"NO, I FUC-" Gon bit his tongue immediately recalling that they were around innocent children's ears. He mouthed the words, " _Fuck you_." As he struggled to step over greedy little monsters clawing at all the coins.

Heck Gon figured if they wanted them so badly they could have them. Crazy kids. It sorta made Gon a bit upset that when he was younger he never got to be a crazy kid like that. It made him upset that he didn't get to do any of this!

Killua blushed slightly as he pulled on Gon's hand. He followed him to maneuver around the gremlins littered all over. The taller male nonchalantly muttering under his breath, "Umm.. Didn't us doing that put us in this position now?"

"No!" Gon fired out bitterly. "We're in this position now because…." He paused for a few seconds; seeming to actually connect the dots. He grit his teeth scolding, himself he was ready to ran his head into a brick wall and then back flip off a building. Hastily Gon let out a low groan, "It doesn't matter how we got here. All that matters is that we're here!"

Killua agreed, "True. And we're going to stick to the plan." He didn't move from his spot, as he watched Gon briefly spin in circles with himself. Almost as if he was battling the decision to go shoo those kids away or go swimming in the sea of balls to dive in and find more lost coins at the bottom.

Mockingly Gon stomped his foot, "Yeah, yeah! The plan… the plan.." He tried to yank the coin cup from Killua but the taller male jerked away. Which made him let out a stubborn whine, "I cant even play a game! I can't play a freaking game!" He stuck out his bottom lip somberly. "I can't freaking ever do ANYTHING I want anymore. I can't even freaking exist without screwing that up too and not existing at all."

For a quick second the idea struck Killua as he spoke out baffled, "Gon? Is that what this is about? You think if you win enough and get your high score in the system permanently you'll," Killua made sure to draw up air quotation marks along the word, " _Exist_?"

"Shut up!" Gon snapped, his face turning red, hot tears threatened to fall. So quickly he scrambled to find a seat. Snagging a booth by placing the meal number on it, he sat down and planted his face downwards on the table hiding it away with shame. "It is childish. I know that part. But… but… It's _useless_. Just like my stupid Hunter's license. In the real world it doesn't mean anything."

Taking a seat beside his lover, "Baby boy." Killua said tenderly. He sighed lightly as he pulled Gon in a sideways hug. He whispered sweetly in his ear, "We don't need a legacy. We don't need to have our names up in stone. We have each other."

"I know that." Gon hollered still fighting back sobs. "It's still not fair. It's not!" Almost as if all these facts were overwhelming him at once. He cried out, "Oh, Killua! How can we get married without my birth certificate? You can't marry a person who doesn't exist!"

"We'll think of something." Killua quipped trying to calm him down. "I promise we'll make a way. Let's just take it slow alright?" He offered out a weak smile trying to encourage more happiness.


	7. Don't shake the embryo Gon! (7)

_Who honestly plans to start acting up?_

Gon didn't.

Every time Gon came outside the house it was with the plain idea to reach his main goal. Even at age 16 he had the same thought process. He obviously was gonna to run past his goals with Killua, they had been planning this and even if he didn't have a ring on his finger yet he'd trust and believe a nice one was coming.

What he didn't think was coming was the event in which they'd have to clear out so quickly or the risk that would come along with it. Not even the factor of taking acre of another life.

Drumming his finger on the table Gon started to add up all the hot water that they were actually in.

"I'm having your child, Killua." Gon spoke out gruffly he still didn't move his head up from the table. Absolutely sternness struck his tone as he said, "Do you know why this is?"

In a pissy grunt Killua muttered under his breath, "I don't care."

"YOU DON'T CARE?" Gon repeated almost in a tense mocking way. He raised both his eyebrows as he looked at those blue orbs directly almost as if challenging what he'd heard.

Catching his mistake quickly, Killua let out a numb half ass smile trying to play it off like a joke. When he was _really_ feeling stupid. The words, " _I don't care"_ had just fell off his lips because he was stressed out. He'd lost Mario kart. FUCKING MARIO KART! His brain couldn't comprehend how that was done, and subconsciously that stress had manifested to his mood getting adjudicated the more he thought of it. So he caught up in the moment and had said it.

But now that it was said, it wasn't like he could take it back. He wanted to take it back, but the fact, GON HAD THE AUDACITY TO REPEAT IT, made him doing that even harder. He really wished, Gon wouldn't have heard or could have pretended that he didn't hear. Since now that Gon clearly heard... _WHY DID HE HAVE TO HEAR AND REPEAT IT ANYWAY?_ Gon spoke to him as if he didn't hear his own fucking misspeak. It was like deep cruelty rubbing salt on the wound that Killua accidentally (purposely) made himself.

There was legit no way, Killua could make a comeback from this without sounding like a damn asshole or a fucking incompetent moron. Killua was NONE of those things, but he'd royally screwed himself up the ass, _and once it was all the way in, it was hard to pull out._

"Not really." Killua muttered, "I suppose it's because of the power of love or something?" He cleared his throat trying to imply that he meant no harm by doing this.

"You still believe in that Disney magic?

"Yeah I know its bullshit."

"It's NOT BULLSHIT! You take that BACK! Disney magic is real!" A few people snapped their necks around to catch a glimpse of Gon accidentally cursing lously in front of kids as he slammed his fist on the table. "It's real. It's real. It's real~!"

"Okay. OKAY!" Killua strained his voice. The 16 year old was unwilling to draw in anymore unnecessary attention. He pulled away off hugging the smaller boy.

"Say it."

"Disney Magic is real."

"All magic is real."

"Magic is just nen!"

"Well then since everyone has nen then in the least bit everyone is magic, huh?"

Killua's blue eyes widened for a quick second, he was unable to tell if Gon was messing around with him or not. Lowly he whispered, "What?" A confused glitter went off chaining a spark in brown to peek through from their cover.

Gon stole a glance upwards at Killua, fighting back the part of him wanting to be too busy sulking. It wasn't a happy glance but a warm and friendly one. Gon wished life had turned out so beautiful and great and wonderful. He wished he could smile at Killua for real instead of giving out a fake nervous unrealistic expression. It hurt Gon to put up such a facade but the last thing he needed to do was fuck up and let Killua down right now.

"I haven't been to the doctor in years, after I stopped going on adventures and went back to school." Gon began to explain, then he paused deciding to reframe his statement. "No. That is a lie. I went to the doctor to get my shots for high school. But in such a small town they probably don't keep medical records anywhere but online. And even with those… I'm still not…"

Killua held up his hand, taking a deep easy breath of the funky fowl air he tried to slow Gon down. The way he was blurting out then skipping around his story made him confused. So he cut to the chase summing up, "I understand but actually, what if remaining hidden for 8 months is a good thing?"

"That's crazy!" Gon blurted out.

"No. No hear me out." Killua quickly silenced him, "Too many people know us here. So I leave my family never go back to them again and you ditch your Aunt. Then you, me and the little one, WE ARE OUT OF HERE."

"What? Where can... what can we?" Gon felt his head start to spin. It wasn't that the idea was bad. They were both 16 and mature ' _responsible'_ (well as much as they could be) right now. It would be hard for them to move and get a job some place, like York New City or somewhere. Maybe even meet up with Kurapika and Leorio again after so long. Surely they'd be enthusiastic over the baby growing in Gon's belly right now.

Killua motioned to his backpack, "Sunshine, I just need to go clean out my bank account. Cut off my phone, then they won't track me." He sucked on his teeth, almost saying a silent prayer that they _really_ wouldn't. That Alluka would keep her mouth shut for a while. _Oh, Killua prayed_. "We can hide. You can go off any name necessary, just until the baby is born. I just… with me, being an assassin and all, people might come after you. I don't want you to be a huge target."

Gon's peach toned face paled drastically, "Did you just imply that I'm gonna get fat?" The realization that his well tightly defined body was going to be leaving him in a few months made Gon anxious. He started rocking back and forth in his seat. "I'm not gonna be fat. I worked too hard for this body to be fat. I'm gonna have a baby bump! It's not fat. It's going to be hard and feel stuff."

"That's what happens." Killua said remaining rather blunt about it all. He reached over to pat Gon's stomach, "You're the little rascals first home so don't do crazy."

"What does that even mean?"

"YOU KNOW."

"If I knew I wouldn't be asking."

"You like to push yourself and go overboard."

"Yeah well, I haven't used Jajaken in years. Trust me, I've just been basic training." Gon shrugged nonchalantly. Numerous times he tried to get back his ability to see and use Nen but all the time it would fall back to create an unsuccessful mess. So in the end he'd tucked back down to work on school.

Killua ran his fingers through his hair. He murmured to himself, "I already have to worry about keeping this on the down low away from my parents. Plus you still can't use Nen. So I'm not risking it…..something could end up happening to you both." The last part was more on a personal fatherly note. Not a part of him assumed that Gon would every purposely hurt their little gift from above.

Gon was too sweet for that. Killua was sure Gon would find a way to spoil their kid (or kids) before they were even born.

"Here's your pizza." An employee said coming up to them. They placed the huge pizza on the table along with two plates.

"Thank you." Gon responded giving them a wave off.

The employee smiled and walked away. Soon as their back turned in the opposite direction of their table Gon was reaching in the pizza shoving the hot greasy delicious substance in his mouth.

The cheese went off like firecrackers on his taste buds and the crunch of the dough was utterly delightful. Gon let out a hum of pleasure feeding joy to Killua's ears to see the mood change so pleasantly between them.

Killua dreamily watched the way Gon's strong jaws worked on munch on that pizza. He lowly spoke, "How are you just a living advertisement? The pizza doesn't even look good but you act like it's the best thing since caramel in chocolate."

Gon cut his eyes at Killua sassily, "FIRST OF ALL, I'm pregnant." He made sure to empathize with his mouth full. He didn't even give a fuck some cheese strands were hanging out the side of his mouth. He kept talking and munching out, "I'm gonna throw this all up a matter of hours. Can I PLEASE have my moment?"

"Sorry, sunshine." Killua laughed as he grabbed a napkin. He leaned over and started babying Gon and wiping around the corners of his mouth for him when he ate.

Gon let out a whine, "No...hmm!" he turned his face watching at how Killua's reddened with embarrassment as he tried to clean him off. Each time the napkin would reach a new part of his cheeks, Gon would repel away attempting to swerve.

Killua screwed up an eyebrow challenging as he kept on laughing, "Haha, come on. You're slobbing around." He lowered the napkin still not about to eat the food presented to him.

"Grease is delicious! You _know_ it, too!" Gon hissed out almost snake like his tongue rolled.

"I know that! I would drink grease raw." Killua responded before actually thinking about what he just said and correcting, "Chocolate mixed with raw grease. That is what I meant to say."

"You're absolutely disgusting. Aren't I supposed to be the one with the weird cravings?" Gon challenged shoving about of the whole entire pizza down his throat at one time.

"I don't think it's gross!"

"So you had it yourself?"

"Well not for me.. personally.."

"For me personally? What a stupid way to start off a sentence. Like who else would the experience apply to in context?"

"Gon, I get you're mad at me. But attacking my grammar skills when you know I was home schooled all my life is a new low." Killua cut his eyes at him. Knotting his expression up, he let out a heavy sigh, "I was deprived of a childhood." He said it in an almost lowly broken hum.

"Trust me school is nothing to feel bad about missing. Ever since I became a regular kid, I learned that school is lame af. Those shows on TV are all damn lies." Gon scoffed brushing off the comment.

"But that's what they want, Gon. The TV producers want lies. That's what makes them money." Killua said sternly as if this was a fact that should have already been established.

"I hate TV. When they own the information they bend and twist it all they want." Gon's brown eyes flickered a bit with disillusionment. His heart started to beat faster not with nervousness but bitter angry jolting through his bones at the sudden recollection from the voices reminding him.

" _They did that with you. Wiped you off the map. Claim that your whole entire existence is irrelevant."_ The voices let out a snicker ringing in his head.

Angrily Gon drove for another slice of pizza munching down on it at full speed. Crumbles flew out of his mouth as he ranted, "They just wanna see people get shot and arrested in the system. It's all a damn scam! Fucking heck, if they want a _real_ story. We should just go on that show 16 and pregnant. They'll get a _real_ kicker seeing us on it."

"Yeah! Actually!" Killua's gears in his brain started to turn. "That might actually be the best option. What if we hide in plain sight, Gon?"

"Didn't you just say people were after you?"

"No one kills in front of a camera. Plus it's the best hook up! We head to York New city tell the producers we want an episode and get a gig. We could be set for the next 9 months."

"But your parents will find out!"

"That not a big deal. It will make for more drama. REAL drama."

"That's so crazy and outlandishly unbelievable it might totally work."

For a few seconds Killua's draw dropped half of him was betting on Gon to read and feel the absolute sacrament that was laced in his voice when laying out this plan. However here Gon was now looking absolutely sold 100% on the idea. A part of Killua still wanted to cough sarcastically and make clear, " _You know it was a joke right?"_ But in fear of pissing off Gon again the other boy stiffly nodded his head insisting, "Sure. Sure…"

Gon swallowed another mouth full of pizza then smiled brightly, "ALRIGHT! Our plan is all laid out then! We hit it big get on TV, PROVING to millions in the world, I, Gon Freecs is a person! We come out about our relationship and hell yeah, we're big shots and movie stars!"

"I doubt it's gonna happen that quickly." Killua murmured under his breath secretly not minding if he got signed on to do movies instead of sending people to their death bed.

"I know the perfect click-bait title for our episode if we get to name it." Gon clicked his tongue together then clapped his hands. "Can I get a drum roll, please?"

Killua jolted back a bit flinching as he babbled, "Ew! Is that the title name? Get that trash in the shit pile it belongs in."

"No! I'm asking for a drum roll." Gon insisted. A bit sheepishly trying to throw off the fact that he ever even said such a thing.

"Umm, why?"

"So I can announce the name."

"Yeah...NO. My nicely manicured knife hands can't handle…."

"GIVE ME A DAMN DRUM ROLL!"

Killua immediately started banging so hard on the table with his hands. It was like the table might crackdown at any given time. He pounded downwards slamming his palms on the surface, making a rumbling almost similar to thunder as sparks shot up around his fingers over them at Godspeed it seemed unstoppable.

So Gon stood up in the chair; raised his voice loudly catching the attention of the parents and children watching. He grinned brightly ready to put on a fabulous show for them to ensure that everyone—( _Yes even the bogey nasty snot nosed brats of 6 year olds_ )—would see his fantastic marvelous premiere episode. The episode called: "DON'T SHAKE THE EMBRYO, GON!"

The name of the show shook Killua so badly he gasped slightly throwing his hands into a karate chop motion he accidentally sliced the table in half. At the sound of a ' _boom crackala alalacckk'_ the pan of pizza melted to the ground and the table split.

Immediately Killua looked ready to ditch this place. He started shaking nervously with embarrassment for forgetting how powerful his abilities were in the world of ' _sad nenless hobos'_ it was almost mind boggling as he gave a confused smile trying to hide his shame. "D-did.. did I do that?"

The manger ran over looking mad as hell. His face was bright red and his fist were flying as he let out a slur of curses, "You stupid unnatural fuck! Do you know how much that damn table fucking cost! What the fuck do you kids think you're fucking doing! Get off my chair! What the hell are you talking about! You're the reason we put a fucking age limit on this place you fucking psychos! Get the FUCK OUT OF HERE! LEAVE MY FUCKING SIGHT!"

A few woman and children gasp. While other parents covered their kids ears not wanting them to be exposed to such a thing.

Killua threw his hands up carefully sliding out of his chair. "I'm leaving. I'm leaving!" He quickly yanked on Gon's hand taking him downwards to the floor with him.

"Holy crap!" Gon gasped almost holding back tears when he caught sight of the pizza on the floor. He screamed, "WHAT ABOUT THE PIZZA? How could you hurt my poor unfinished pizza, Killua? Why'd you let it die?!" He dragged his feet extremely dramatically.

"Gon walk faster!" Killua commanded before he just hit the breaking point. His brain was sorta just like, ' _Screw it and pick him up'_ so he just did it and flung him up over his shoulder. The smaller boy kicked and flailed throwing a fit over it all. Killua didn't care he just held Gon down and ran.

And despite Gon laughing a bit hysterically then whinnying slightly he submitted. He hugged his arms around Killua commanding him, "Let's go to my house. We can plan more there maybe even plan ahead to meet someone. Ooo, how about Kurapika or Biscuit?"

Half of Killua was ready to reject and be like, " _No. I never really trusted Biscuit because she was always beating me up and acting like a bitch to me. I don't trust no bitches because bitches spelled backwards is sehctib and that don't make any damn sense like these BITCHES DON'T BE MAKING ANY DAMN SENSE!"_ So he went around ranting that out.

Killua pushed open the doors of Chuck E Cheese. He exited them out into the freedom and soon as the yellow sun rays graced over Gon's face, he could help but get excited. He changed Gon's position spinning him around eagerly. "Okay we can tell Kurapika. I'm not ready for Biscuit to know yet." He told him, pressing a quick kiss on his lips.

The first kiss they shared that day…. it came like honey, trickling warm through Gon's bones until he melted in a hazy bliss. He at first didn't even process the motion, since they came sporadically. Killua gently mashing his lips on top of Gon's as if he'd been storing up that kiss especially for him. It was met by wet cracked lips who dragged lightly on top of what he believed was their equal.

Bringing an enthusiastic smile to Gon's face, He hummed pleasantly. "I can agree with that then. We have to pass through Aunt Mito but I'm sure she'll support us…." He uttered out numb, "Hopefully." But his words sounded faithless with little to no belief in them.

* * *

 **No one can convince me that 16 year old Gon and Killua, won't actually act goofy like this. These cute kids are wild!** **Have a super excellent, Gon filled day. Smile brightly, and don't let anyone get ya down. ~Mel**


	8. Don't shake the embryo Gon! (8)

Killua nearly demolished the front door of Gon's house. He didn't mean to, but his newly astounding strength he'd gained over the years was clearly monstrous outside of Hunting or the assassination trade. When he was ringing the doorbell he almost punched it inwards.

Luckily it was prevented by Gon who blindly panicked shouting at him, "Hold on! I have a key!" He reached into his pocket in search for it.

His Aunt Mito came right to the door however after that stunt. She swung open the door seeming baffled at the sight of her nephew and Killua. She muttered, "You're back so soon. I thought you wouldn't be back for hours."

"It's a long story but apparently teenagers and Chuck E Cheese don't mix. Also don't mind, Killua. He's hanging with me." Gon said walking inside.

Killua followed behind him shyly. He duck his head down to fit under the door frame. Offering his hand out he greeted Mito soon as she closed the door. "It's good to see you again, Ms.Freecss."

Mito smiled pulling the tall boy into a hug she beamed, "Come over any time Killua. You know you're always welcome here. You're like a son to me."

"Ew, no! Please don't say that Aunt Mito." Gon interjected, he pulled Killua away from her. He motioned his boyfriend towards his room. Providing a distraction to his aunt, he shook his head furiously reflecting on how bad those words were in his situation.

"Why? Don't get jealous Gon. You will always be my favorite 'like a son' but Killua has been coming over so often these past years. Haha! I might as well adopt him too!" Aunt Mito was laughing cheerfully.

A prideful smile beaming on her face she didn't take notice of Gon hustling Killua a long to hurry up and put the luggage in his room.

Gon ushered Killua away, "Go run and put it up. PUT IT UP!" He shuffled the other male forward pushing him a bit.

Mito was having a good time clapping her hands together stating, "How was the trip over here? The seas weren't too rough? Did you both eat at the place?"

The lanky boy stumbled a bit as he shimmed away. Sorta half answering her question, "Yes. I took the bus to catch the ship over here. I don't eat trash. It was fine."

Gon's black hair spiked up almost upset as his mood. He managed finally gave Killua a shove away to push him over to the back. The smaller boy glaring at him to hurry the fuck up and get settled in before the questions become more hammering. Watching Killua roll his eyes and open up his room door with a satisfying, ' _click_ ' was more reassuring than ever. So much that when Gon looked at his Aunt he grinned deviously.

His Aunt seemed to catch on and then suspension filled her. She walked up to her nephew. Gon was a good 2 heads taller than her now. His muscle mass well matched his figure and evenly balanced out. It made a good fuzzy feeling fill in his Aunt's gut. She murmured, "Look at you, over here smiling. What's so funny?"

"N-no..not..nothing." Gon attempted to lie. He was sure his face gave it away regardless since he was a terrible liar. That didn't stop him from bluffing, "It's just that Killua said that he'll be able to hang around for a few days with us. We plan to go on an adventure and stuff."

A confused expression fell on Mito's face. She tilted her head, her red hair falling to the side as she inspected her nephew almost looking to see if he was playing her. "You think I'm gonna let you adventure like this?"

Gon gave a shrug, "Maybe?" He didn't know if this was a trick question or not.

"Gon you're pregnant," Mito repeated. It was in the same deadpan almost ghostly disappointed voice she used before when Gon came out and delivered her the news. It was the voice she used when she wanted people to know they were fucked and she would never let them do something.

"I know. Killua knows. I'll be fine."

"If I had a dollar for everytime, I've heard you say that..."

"I MEAN IT!" Gon tried to insist at this point. The words tottered out of his mouth, "I just need you to trust me. I'm older now, I am more prepared.. I..." A few more of the sentence he wanted to say remained on his tongue withstrained by the voices in his head.

All of them kicked up warning: " _Why did you talk so loudly? That's disrespectful… Very disrespectful. Talking back is disrespectful." The gruff shadow voice in the back of his mind chanted. "No wonder… Everything about you makes people want to die. Why are you like this? You disgusting piece of shit_."

"You know where you get your bad stubborn attitude from?" Mito began to rant. She made her lips curl downwards in a distinct disgust that matched her pissed tone.

Gon hunched his shoulders down with shame. Hanging his head over to stare out the window, he hid his face unwilling to allow hs expression be seen for the upcoming backlash. He could almost feel his Aunt's frustration with him; he felt it too. He knew who she was about to blame for this. In fact Gon hummed a countdown, "5,4,3,2,1…"

"This is all Ging's damn fault!" Aunt Mito was always quick to press blame on him. "I knew I should have never let you become a Hunter! You weren't built to be a Hunter, Gon! You should have just stayed home with me, instead of getting hope and actually finding that crazy man. But look, I let you go have fun and you told me you'd be a good kid from now on. You PROMISED."

Gritting his teeth Gon stopped humming as he shouted out, "Okay! I get it! I really get it! I'm a BASTARD CHILD!" He pulled his eyes away from the sun wishing that he had wings and could fly into it; become a sun spirit. "I should have never left to be a Hunter. Heck, if I never would have left then maybe I could have saved countless lives too!" Gon spat out his brown eyes sinking into darkness as his breathing raced steadily increasing like the rapid rise and fall of his chest. "But I can't go back in time! I can't change anything...I can't."

Aunt Mito didn't reject his claim. She shook her head, "If you did, you wouldn't be the person you are today."

"I know." Gon concluded, "I'd be the perfect child that you always wanted me to be. The child you wanted but couldn't have."

The last part fell out his mouth bitterly and it must have hit Mito pretty hard because her expression suddenly engulfed in sadness. All traces of her playful good mood faded away and as result the house fell silent. The woman just spun away from Gon, like she was finally tossing away the last of her hopes and dreams for him to be successful in life. Which wrongfully made a part of Gon feel completely regretful that he had the audacity to take it that far.

 _Why did he take it that far?_ Probably because he just wanted someone to yell at. The voices put him on edge sometimes and he was bad at keeping calm. For so long he just busted out spontaneously at anyone who challenged him.

 _It was all his fault again._

 _Gon had messed up again, and no doubt he would continue to do such._

Filled with embarrassment, Gon whispered, "Wait...Aunt Mito...I love you. I'm sorry." He covered his mouth with his hands, muttering, "You're my family. I know you want the best for me."

"Oh...Gon…" Aunt Mito rubbed her temples before finally admitting, "I will always love and support you no matter what stupid things you do or say."

"Even if I end up like, Ging?"

"Let's not get DRASTIC here, Gon. You are definitely raising that kid. You need to take responsibility."

"Haha, okay. I wouldn't want it any other way." Gon let out a slight burst of awkward laughter to lighten the mood, but then soon as he did it, he silenced himself getting the reminder of how he shouldn't.

He was still a nobody, he was still a _loser_. In fact the pinnacle of his very existence had been centered around being a Hunter and traveling with Killua. Yet now everything he worked for seemed to be disappearing. All the bonds he formed were fading away.

 _And what did he have to show for it? All the lies Killua and him had told to cover up their relationship_

? Gon used to believe that friendship is love and that's forever. _So why did he have to keep acting so clueless?_

Mito told him firmly, "I don't mind the baby. It's just you're only 16 and I want you to be ready. Taking care of a baby is a lot of work. I know because I raised you. And these next month are going to go by fast. You have to be prepared to bring a new life into the world. So for your own sake. You are under Whale Island arrest, until that little one growing in your belly is born."

"I… I know. I'm not really nervous. I know.. I'll have help from, K-" Immeadily Gon caught his tongue. His brown eyes shined taking a note of the taller boy who poked his head out his room giving him a thumbs up.

"Hey, Gon." Killua called out as he crept out of Gon's room. He looked at his boyfriend and flashed a bright smile, "We're all good."

"Awe... You two are such good best friends. Hope you stay together." Aunt Mito encouraged.

Oh the irony of the situation was that she had no idea. How actually together Gon was with Killua. They were _very_ together. More closer than any best friends and probably best fit for being madly in love.

It was funny how everyone seemed to overlook the way Killua would look at Gon and how Gon would look back.

There was love in those blue eyes, behind those pupils was a volcano of love ready to erupt inside Killua each time he saw Gon. Killua loved Gon's milk chocolate like brown eyes, Killua loved the sway of Gon's hips, the soft feel of Gon's lips. Killua loved Gon's smile the most though, Gon's bright orange sun rays of life would burst and his happiness was contagious to everyone he encountered.

There was love in brown eyes not afraid to come clear in Gon when they fell on Killua. Gon loved everything about Killua. Gon loved Killua's hot body. Gon loved Killua's dedication. Gon loved Killua's craftiness. Gon couldn't find a single thing he liked the best since he loved everything about Killua equally.

Maybe in a way it was a blessing that no one could see the truth under all their brief fluffy interactions. Maybe it had saved Killua from scorn with his parents. Maybe it had done Gon a favor in the future he just refused to recognize now. But for whatever ignorant reason people refused to threaten the boundary of truth, he figured he should be thankful...if he wasn't feeling so guilty right now.

 _Why was he even scared of telling the truth? Scared of his Aunt finding out Killua and Gon had been dating for years underneath her eyes? Scared that his Aunt might be upset at him? Scared that…?_

The voices teasingly answered Gon by reminding him, " _You're scared… scared of losing and disappointing people you care about….. your fear stems from your fearful soul paranoid over having another person end up like Kite."_

Upon the thought of Kite, it sent Gon into a blind frenzy.

"It's not going to end up like that!" Gon blurted out with his head starting to swim. His fingers and whole entire body began shaking uncontrollably as he pleaded, "It's not! Not again! I.. I won't let it!" His trembling fingers barely managed to rapidly ruffle up his strands of hair, pulling on them. He must have pulled it about 50 times because soon as he snagged it, his scalp delivered pain to him in protest.

"Gon! Stop that! It looks like you're having a conniption!" His Aunt Mito fired the words out of her mouth full of concern. Her hand shot up and grabbed Gon's wrist. The woman might have been shorter than Gon and less powerful, but she was damn bold enough to step in and prevent himself from hurting himself.

Killua looked ready about to do the same thing. Which was why his jaw tightened up and his eyes narrowed with what looked like rage. As if he wished it was him touching Gon's wrist and making him meet brown eyes with blue.

Unfortunately his fantasies couldn't be satisfied at the moment so he swallowed nervously, "Sunshine." He muttered softly.

His voice rang through Gon's head making his mind focus on attending to Killua rather than the cruel voices. It made Gon tense up a bit more recalling how violent Killua had reacted when he almost went off the deep end before. He didn't want Killua to act like he was some dangerous bad person again around him.

"I'm.. I need just." Gon took a gulpful of air. His world was spinning forcing him to shout, "EVERYONE STOP LOOKING AT ME AND LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"Don't act like that, Gon!" His Aunt scolded letting go of his wrist, "We have a guest. I raised you better than to act like some bratt!"

Gon pulled away from her, not roughly but he just walked away with rage bubbling in him. He headed over to sit on the sofa yelling out, "KILLUA IS NOT A GUEST HE'S FAMILY!"

At the moment every inch of Gon wanted to tell her, " _We're fucking. We've been fucked! In fact we're getting married. We are literally having a child together. He's the father of this child! Do you think I sleep around like some slut? You do, don't you? You hate me. You've always hated me. All my life I've just been tolerated!_ " If it wasn't for him trying to be more chill and keep his cool then he would have been lost his mind at the moment.

"It's fine.. I'm sorry. Maybe it's best I keep my distance right now." Killua made no moves to comfort Gon much to his own disappointment.

It would have better if Killua would have hugged him at least. But no! Killua was ' _too shy_ ' to do such actions, Gon knew it was _all_ an act. Killua would flip Gon over and bang his ass right now if he got the opportunity.

"Yeah. Keep your distance then." Gon retorted, bobbing his head sassily. He laid back on the couch. He didn't even care about changing the channel. He just made sure to say, "On my new episode. Make sure to keep your distance on that."

"Gon…"

"I will fire you out my episode, Killua."

"How can you fire me for something, when we haven't even got it yet?"

"Excuse me?" Mito broke up their argument. Her eyes darting between them accusingly, "What episode? On what show?"

"16 and pregnant! The whole world will see me! They will film us, our family! Make sure we get the credit we deserve." Gon made sure to shout loudly to convey his frustration.

What he wasn't counting on was for his aunt's jaw to drop. She seemed to shakily murmur out the word, "We…?" She looked between Killua and Gon. Her mind connecting the dots made her pupils shrink in her sockets rolling to the back of her head; her legs turned to jello as she fell flat out, fainting.

She fell to the floor with a loud thud, a slight stream of blood coming from her head after the impact.

The room seemed to drop dead silent aside from Gon's gasp of, "Killua, you are such a murderer!" He jumped off the couch running to her limp body, "You killed my aunt!" He reached in his pocket fumbling around for his phone before pulling it out. "I'm gonna call the hospital!"

"What did I even do?" Killua squeaked. Then he ran over to Gon trying to shush him, "Are you trying to get us both in jail?"

"We're not going to jail!"

"They're going to ask questions! What if they know about the bar fight? What if the Chuck E cheese man snitched our location? What do we say? Ya think anyone is going to believe we were talking about going on 16 and pregnant! Do you think anyone is going to think you're pregnant with a hot body like that?"

Gon dropped his phone, immediately wrapping his arms around his flat stomach. "I am very pregnant!" He poked at his tan flesh, "Anyone who says otherwise can suck on my pink used pregnancy test!"

"Fine! Call the hospital. See what they say and see if I care!" Killua urged despite the desperation leaking from his voice. He got up and walked away bitterly leaving Gon dumbfounded.

Gon scoffed, "Do you not care? Are you really going to claim to not care again?" He gave a snarky, "Is there _anything_ you actually CARE ABOUT?"

"I SAID: _SEE_." Killua sneered. Shoving his hands in his pockets, giving an almost gangster lean, he peeked out the window.

It was as if the phone was distant now, focusing on Killua was more imperative. The black haired male dropped his head muttering, "We can take her car. We can drive her to the hospital, if you're so scared of getting caught. I can drive, with my learners permit." Slowly he rose to his feet waiting for Killua to stop him as he walked, "I guess, I'll get the keys."

"Good." Killua confirmed. He smiled a bit, "When we get there," He grabbed Gon by the arm, pulling him close enough for his hot breath to whisper in his ear, "You tell them we found her like this when we came in here."

"But..." Gon gave Killua a pissy glare. Accusing bullshit on those words, "That's a total lie."

"Didn't we already have this discussion?" Killua ran his slender skilled hands upwards to glide over Gon's smooth skin.

"Telling lies, isn't right." Gon began to protest.

Killua threw in, "Unless they're necessary." The tone sounded sinister and dark. Not matching anything Killua had previously said in a happy mood at all. This was like a more serious strict: "This is how it's gonna be Gon. I let you have your moment, now let me have mine."

Gon grimaced slightly hearing the voices command, "Don't be stupid and screw this up. Just go get the keys. What more convincing do you need?"

Raising a finger in the air, Killua proclaimed, "One lie a day keeps the cops away." His blue eyes seemed to flash darkly, as he gently moved his hand to stroke Gon's fluffy black hair. He purred affectionately, "I don't wanna leave you and our growing family. Don't make it easy for them to split us apart."

Their hearts shared a single beat together.

"You'll be my alibi won't you, my sweet baby boy?" Killua hummed as he pulled away, "We can live the dream."

Gon figured he could believe that. Because if ignorance was confidence then Gon wanted a lot more of it.


	9. Don't shake the embryo Gon! (9)

"It really could have turned out worst in the end." Killua felt like he was having to remind Gon of their previous failures in life. His boyfriend was pacing back and forth in the empty hospital room. Gon had been walking around then going back to kiss his aunt Mito who was knocked out cold on the bed. All the lights shined down on him but Gon paid the lighting no mind as he paced lost in his thoughts.

Finally Gon toned the mood down a little by finally speaking. Only he just repeated the news he heard the doctor say, "She has a concussion from banging her head on the hardwood which sent her into a comma. She might NEVER WAKE UP!" He shot a cold glance at Killua as if challenging him, ' _Yeah go ahead. Enlighten me. What could have possibly been worst than this?_ '

Killua choose the smart option not to answer that. He cocked his head away to avoid that demanding gaze trying to play it off as if he never noticed it. "Well at least you and I have guilt tripping to use on the producers of the show now. We can make em feel bad by saying this was a traumatic experience for us."

"Why would you say that?" Gon paused his pacing and instead of leaning over to kiss his aunt as usual he just kept glaring at Killua like he wished it would have been him who fainted instead of her right now.

Killua shrugged his shoulders unwilling to say, " _Okay. I take that idea back_." Instead he sucked on his tongue in protest, simply awaiting for Gon to just submit to his superior idea.

There was an awkward moment shared between them. Just silence engulfed the room and neither of them spoke for a while.

Until the tension among them was drowned out by the looming feeling of guilt, specifically weighing on Gon's heart. It was like his heart was being squeezed from the inside out. Sadness spread, his head, his stomach, his legs unable to stop quaking.

Killua blinked rapidly holding back his own emotions as he addressed his boyfriend. "Sunshine. It's not that big of a deal. I mean, she's not.. ya know, De-"

"Shut up! _Don't_ say it, Killua!" Gon choked on the rest of his sentence.

Killua fumbled out, "I mean it's the truth. Just be like all bubbles and positive over it. It'll be okay."

"Don't tell me it's gonna be okay." Shaking his head Gon groaned, "ITS NOT OKAY! NOTHING IS OKAY RIGHT NOW!"

"You be like that, I'll just keep reminding myself of the wonderful guilt tripping opportunity."

"Aren't you an assassin? Don't you have connections everywhere or something? Why don't you just blackmail them into giving us an episode."

"Connections?" Killua utered out almost baffled that Gon would ask such a thing. Did he have connections? Did it look like he had connections? He had no connections. Not inside, not outside. In fact Killua couldn't even stay connected to his own family and friends half the time. He couldn't even stay connected to his _sanity_ in his own self. What the actually heck made Gon think he had connections?

"I guess with my aunt knocked out no one is preventing me from leaving the island now."

"See a good thing. I'm showing you the bright side for you. Baka!"

"Well stop." Gon said as if the solution was really that simple. He couldn't deal with optimism right now.

Honestly, Gon's feet hurt from speed walking back and forth. He was breathing hard and completely frazzled for the most part. He was confused to how he could allow this to happen. And once again his worst fear had come true—he'd been responsible for the lost or more so hurt of someone he cared about.

All Gon wanted to do was cry; the tears that started to swell up in his eyes were evident of that but he just pushed them down and attempted to be strong. He could handle this. Despite how he felt so helpless and lost yet confused. Every inch of him was driving even more rattling sense of complete loneliness in his skin.

Shivering Gon swallowed down a sob as he lowered his hand from Killua's lips. Sadly he uttered, "You're all I have now." His shallow somber brown eyes gave way to his dark emptiness hiding inside.

Killua pulled Gon into a warm hug immediately letting the smaller boy feel his empathy for him as he attempted to comfort him in his time of need. He rubbed his face in Gon's spiky black hair mumbling, "I know.. I know.. it's gonna be okay. She'll wake up soon." He rubbed Gon's back, gently patting it trying to soothe him. "Until then….We only have each other."

Gon sniffled lightly as he pressed his head against Killua's chest murmuring, "It's so cold in here." He let out a slight whisper, "Cold like my heart."

"It's a hospital. It's to keep germs down. You shouldn't have worn a tank top out the house anyway." Killua informed him.

"It wasn't cold anywhere else."

"Fine. Close the curtains."

"Huh?"

"Close the curtains."

"Why?" Gon said like that was the most absurd request that he'd ever heard. He screwed up an eyebrow, half way figuring that despite the request it was making more sense than to entertain his everlasting void of loneliness.

Killua shooed Gon off insisting upon it. The black haired male spun around after pulling out of the hug. He made his way over to the window and pulled the curtains shut. It blocked out the pretty view of the setting sun, and casted a shadow upon it to almost completely conceal any rays of light from entering.

Then like an angel Killua pulled off his long sleeve shirt ripping it off (but not apart) he unveiled a wonderful display of his tight rippling abs. His white hair bounced as it freed itself from the cloth, he flung the fabric in his hands, his ocean blue eyes shimmering like how stars twinkle on the sea. Killua held his shirt outwards for Gon to grab telling him huskily, "Take it. You need to stay warm more than I do right now."

Gon looked at Killua almost like he'd become some type of God or something. He marveled at the action for a few seconds, before he snatched the shirt up. "You're a heat saver, Killua!" He put the shirt up to his nose and sniffed it greedily.

A smile crawled up on Gon's face as he grew easy recognizing the smell of it being his boyfriend he seemed to be in heaven reminiscing all the happy moments they shared. Killua's shirt smelled really good— It encouraged him to recall on how reliable Killua always was to Gon in his time of need.

 _Killua was always there for Gon; there was no other way the universe would have it._

The taller boy blushed madly as he shouted out, "BAKA! DON'T SMELL IT! Oh gosh! That's weird, Gon!" Killua tried to usher out some words to halt Gon's progress of him clearing indulging in the scent embedded in it.

"Weird? I think it smells good." Gon hummed out happily. He smuggled the shirt all up in his nose.

"J-just.. just put it on already!" Killua urged crossing his arms. The coldness in the hospital engulfing him a bit but he'd deal with it. All he had to do was put up with it until it was time to go.

Gon pulled the shirt down over on top of his own black tank top. Still letting the smell of his lover hit his nose he hugged himself happily. He chirped, "You're like a human furnace!"

"What kind of analogy is that?" Killua stuttered out his face still ruby red, as chill bumps ran up his arm. He counted himself just lucky his hands weren't numb yet at this point.

"Thank you." Gon muttered a light smile beaming on his face.

Killua savored the praises, shoving his hands in his pockets. "You don't need to thank me. Taking care of you and the baby is my responsibility now." He dashed his blue eyes over ignoring the fuzzy feeling in his gut.

Gon leaned up and gave a sweet kiss on Killua's lips anyway. His body shifted as Killua ducked down to claim another kiss— lip on lip. He sucked on his bottom lip gently and ran his tongue over Gon's top row of sensitive teeth feeling the smaller male shiver with delight. Killua expanded upon his kiss, daring to venture out and mark every inch of Gon's cavern as his own.

That was until the door clicked open and a woman let out a slight gasp. Her dark eyes peered through the cracked door only to catch sight of the two making out; to that she slammed it back close urgently. She piped out from behind the closed object, "VISITING HOURS ARE ENDING SOON!"

Gon's face with its natural glow seemed to get brighter as his face flushed red. He had caught notice of the lady out the corner of his eyes so he pushed Killua off of him blurting out loudly, "Thank you! I swear we were not.. ya know!"

"What the heck?" Killua howled that notion catching him completely off guard. He felt his stomach start to do flip flops and anger almost boiled up in him at the lady for interrupting them.

It made him feel a tad bit betrayed because for one the door was closed. As in, _'When you see the damn door closed don't fucking come in lady_.' Secondly he was pissed because he was freaking shirtless. Killua was a sensitive snowflake when it came to this stuff! He would freak out and cry over people seeing him. Then of course if he really did that the top clickbait YouTube video would trend under the name: ' _Zoldyck gets caught naked and cries_ ' So there was no way he was going to do it.

Still a strong part of him was hating her for doing or performing such an action. Even if it was her right and job to do it. It still pissed him off. It formed an automatic flame of hatred in his soul, he'd done nothing to her to be disrespected like this! He'd been nice nonstop and this was his pay off. Freaking hell, he'd treat her like trash too. Screw that being the ' _better person_ ' bull shit. When he was surrounded by strangers he'd be as savage as he wanted.

"First of all! Shut the fuck up." Killua stormed out. "I ain't did nothing to you."

The nurse looked visibly shook, as she inched open the door. Clutching her clipboard, she walked in.

Gon attempted to comfort her saying, "Killua doesn't mean it! He's just really shy!" He placed his hand on his lover's.

"Baka!" Killua complained trying to ignore how warm sweet and comforting Gon's hands were. The taller boy leaned back crossing his arms over his chest, "It's her fault I'm all up in arms anyway."

"Me..me?" The nurse shook her head. "How was I supposed to know… I-I. I would open up.. ppp—the door and see that?"

"You should be more vigilant of the atmosphere that's why!" Killua broke away from Gon. He started making hand motions in the air trying to give out signs.

"Killua!" Gon shrugged, "It was just a mistake."

"Well the visiting hours are ending soon only family will be allowed to say in the room." The nurse gave a gentle reminder.

"Not a problem." Gon pointed to himself, "I'm her nephew and.." He pointed at Killua, "He's my husband or umm…. more so fiance. So we're all family here."

"Okay." The nurse nodded her head in approval, "I'll be going now. Feel free to pick off where you both left off. I promise there won't be any more disturbances." She gave a little wink out the corner of her eye and then quickly skidaddles out of the room.

Killua still seemed unimpressed and unconvinced about that fact. Bluntly he declared, "I hate this place. When are we leaving?"

"Leaving? I.. I don't know. Our next move, we need money for and these hospital bills are eating away at all we have." Gon murmured out. He shook his head sadly, "I have to pay them. Plus I don't know how long Aunt Mito is going to be in here, I don't wanna go in her bank account and take out money that she might need."

"I'm loaded." Killua seemed to insist upon Gon assuming he failed to pick up on this fact _still_ despite their years knowing each other.

Gon rolled his eyes, "Okay."

"Oh yeah let me rephrase this." Killua gave a slick smirk as he strolled up to Gon. He ran a single finger down his spine to wrap his arms around his waist. Pulling the smaller boy close he whispered to him, "We're rich. You're a Zoldyck now. Or we can change last names, I'm probably gonna use Cssdyck."

"Not officially!" Gon whined mostly in complaint over his empty ring finger still yet to be claimed.

"Fuck officiality. I never liked rules of society anyway."

"No, Killua we have…. _We have to_."

"Says who? Lots of people get married off the books. It's simple! Ya just start signing your name, Gon Cssdyck."

"I am, Gon… _Your_ Gon, Killua!" Gon hollered into the air. His brown eyes glared daggers at Killua as he proclaimed boldly, "That's me. But…" He pushed away from his lover proclaiming, "How can I claim such a new last name when Gon Freecss never even got to see the light of day?"

"I thought you wanted to run away and marry me." Killua snorted out a bit of disbelief in his voice. "If you love me, then you wouldn't care about who you were in the past. It only matters who you are when you're with me, right?"

"Maybe you think that Killua. Because.. you.. You were just RAISED that way." Gon closed his eyes shaking his head. He walked away from him bitterly, "You were taught that in a relationship people are supposed to give up everything they have to be with each other. But I don't want that Killua. I don't want to give up who I am to please you."

Killua appeared to be holding back a snarl, "That's… that is NOT what I want from you. What I want is to just be with you. For you and me to be safe." He reached out to grab Gon's hand but the other boy yanked away. Disappointed Killua uttered out the words softly, "I want the ones I love to be safe."

"You just watch me do my thing." Gon responded. He didn't seem to mind Killua's action or care at how upset the other boy seemed to be getting. "If you want, you can help me do my thing."

"Which is?"

"I want to honor my Aunt's last wishes. Because I choose to be a good nephew. I choose to please and honor the dead with revenge. I did it before and I'll do it again!"

"She's NOT fucking dead! She's in a coma! A COMA!" Killua yelled, motioning to her bedside. Then he thrusted his finger at Gon, "I get the hopelessness you're feeling ya, know? I felt it once too. I am feeling it, again." He took Gon's hand forcefully placing it on his heart, "Right here!"

Gon stifled back a few tears. He felt his hand trembling against the rise and fall of Killua's bare chest. His tan hand were so warm against pale skin, and the rapid pounding of Killua's heart was fast like a train speeding down the track.

Passionate blue eyes marvelled down at him, their owner speaking. "I almost lost you once, Gon. Please understand, I have no desire to have that happen again."

 _The speed of his heart sped up, skipping a few beats._

Killua inhaled sharply he dipped his head down, "Gon on that day...no one knew he would…" Holding his tongue he choose a safer route to approach the problem, "You shouldn't feel.."

"I DON'T FEEL GUILTY!" Gon hollered aggressively. He started to twist his finger clutching a fist over Killua's chest, "It was a mistake and that's nothing to feel guilty about long as I restored honor."

"I hate when you talk like that." The taller 16 year old blurted out in a pissed off tone. "I hate how you talk like you don't care about yourself! This is all because of that fake hunter propaganda!"

"It's not propaganda!" Gon moved his hand down wildly. His breathes becoming more like huffing loudly. He was almost afraid that if he held onto Killua any longer he'd submit and give in.

 _Why did Gon feel so at peace when he was with Killua, when he wasn't even at peace with himself?_

"Yes it is! Who told you it's okay to die for something, Gon? Who told you that the dead actually want anything?"

"Well who told you to act like _this_? Who told you to was okay to be a coward when you're in trouble? You're just gonna lie? You gonna lie your way through life?"

Killua let out a growl and looked ready to knock Gon's lights out. But he didn't and he was too angry to form a response because there were actual tears forming in Gon's eyes.

The pregnant boy stating, "I lost everything on that day, Killua. And I'd do it again. I don't care if you don't approve. I don't care what you do, just don't try and stop me." Gon chewed on his bottom lip offering, "Just help me. I can't control my nen anymore. So please, _help me_. Be my protector. I have no idea what my body is doing right now or why this is happening. I need you right now."

"Sunshine…" Killua murmured he tried to drain his rage and elaborate, "That's what I want… to _help_ you. Support you. I want to be your rock. But you must be willing to make some changes."

"I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadow." Gon pointed at Killua menacingly telling him off. "That includes you."

Killua knotted his eyebrows together. He didn't like where all of this was going. "I can make my own decisions too. I am doing this because, I CHOSE THIS! I want to be with you. You think I'm just following you around for a joy ride like I did all those years ago?"

"I don't know, Killua. Only you can ANSWER that question." Gon fired off, "All you seem to care about is escaping! Because you're scared of your parents, the police and getting found out."

"This is for your sake too! You said you wanted to get famous. We're getting tickets to York New city JUST FOR YOU TO BE ON TV!"

"No! No! No… YOU SUGGESTED THE IDEA!"

"Really? Okay, Gon. Be that way. Less than 5 hours ago you were on a different tune."

Gon walked over to where his Aunt's clothes were put up and reached into her purse. "Well my tune now is this." He started pulling out things searching for clues until he found, "A list."

Killua didn't form an any kind of response he just looked at Gon sorta agitated. He sucked on his teeth, his heart racing with stress filling him from breath he took. It was taking a lot not to go off. But he'd maintain control, it was just Gon after all. Plus Killua choose to come after Gon because he didn't want to be so distant anymore, staying together was for the best.

"Let's go…" Gon waved the grocery list in his hand. "If this is the thing she fainted with in her purse then let's at least fulfill her last wishes."

Killua screwed up an eyebrow, "You think her last wishes was to really go shop— _ouch_!" He flinched as Gon yanked his arm around him.

The smaller male was smiling almost menacingly as he spoke out, "Yes, we're doing it. We're going shopping so you can calm down and I don't lose my mind. LETS THE GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE."


	10. Don't shake the embryo Gon! (10)

Crunching the 5 page thick grocery list in his first Gon glared at the top shelf menacingly. "Screw you delicious top not stale or crushed shelf chips." He cursed lowly before jumping high in the air only to make another unsuccessful leap for the bag of chips.

Going shopping was something Gon had grown used to ever since he became a normal run-of-the-mill average teenager. So he knew where all the best food was, ON THE TOP SHELF.

For that reason alone Gon was regretting sending Killua off to buy the other items on their list all by himself. Taking out his phone he texted him,

 **[Gon]** Get over here and help me reach the good chips.

The response came quickly of,

 **[Lightning cute kid]** I'm halfway on the other side of the store.

Shoving his phone in pocket Gon tried to calm down and take deep breaths attempting to ignore the thoughts in his brain circulating about, _"He's not coming because he doesn't care. No one cares about you. You're just a waste of space. Space doesn't even really exist_."

The black haired male shook his head blocking out those torturing chants. All he had to do was try to keep his cool. He could handle this in a mature manner. He was about to be a parent he should start acting like one…

Out the corner of his brown eyes he watched a man calmly take off the shelf some of the good uncrushed chips and put them in his cart.

At that moment, Gon decided to _screw_ decency.

"Nooo!" Gon complained stomping his foot on the ground sourly. He complained, "Darn you tall people! You're all trying to keep nice things to yourself!" Frustration filling him as he looked at the impossible.

People sped up with their carts passing him in distaste. Gon looked at them like they were the crazy ones.

" _Look at those people. They're talking about you. They're laughing at you. They're mocking you."_ The voices in Gon's brain chanted out eagerly.

Dashing his brown eyes around he stole a glance at the bunch of people having a good time. They were going down the chips joking around, but their laughter and sly comments seemed innocent enough. It was just the fact they were so near Gon that made him paranoid.

His tan hands tightened on the cart. He grit his teeth trying not to be driven to insanity. _Try not to care. DONT CARE. They are irrelevant_.

He waved over to the shelf trying to draw in some kind people's attention urging, "Come on!" Flipping his hair from over his eyes so he didn't look like a lunatic he urged, "What do I have to do offer a cash reward?"

"Yes." An employee said pushing one of those long ladder by informing him, "Nothing in this store is free."

"But you're an employee! You're supposed to help people!"

"As far as I'm concerned that's not in my job description. I'm not in the mood to deal with rude people."

"What did I even do to you?"

"Show up and come to this store during my shift."

"Give me the ladder. I'll get it myself." Gon rolled his eyes.

"We have fees. A 100 yen fee for using the ladder, 459 yen fee for each step on the ladder and 1334 yen fee for each breath you take ON the ladder." The employee began to explain.

Gon rolled his eyes deciding, _'Aint nobody got time to hear this bullshit'_ so he settled on snatching some of the low quality tasting bottom rack chips. Every inch of his mind knew they were probably all crunched up and the bag was mostly air, but what the hell other choice did he have? Pay an arm and a leg for some good chips? Heck no, he was no Full Metal Alchemist.

Yet soon as he grabbed the chips the employee cranked their neck over like it was as long as a garden hose. They were all like, "You have to play a game to win the bottom shelf chips." Their eyes looked directly at Gon and his hand on the top of the chip bag.

Gon didn't know if it was his imagination or not but he felt like the employee was looking at him like he some kind of low life trying to sneak a bag out of here without earning it.

He was probably overreacting, yet Gon felt so attacked right now. All he could do was push down the fact everything he was trying to do he got called out for. Who the hell even heard of playing a game to win a bag of chips... YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR? That was madness. THIS was madness.

"I should have just went to the other store by my house. Y'all shit crazy." Gon grumbled. Throwing the bag of chips back on the shelf counter, he didn't even care if that would crunch them up more.

He pushed the cart away, reading the list he began to head off to get the next items on the list.

That was until his phone rang blasting the words to his favorite song, "YOU CAN SMILE AGAIN!" But even with the cheerful tone he couldn't help but wanna turn back around and bust that employee in their lips.

So pulled his phone out his pocket, Gon put on his resting bitch tone. "Hello?"

"Gon, why can't you help me cheat right?" Came the familiar sound of Leorio's voice from the other end.

"What the heck are you talking about?" Gon muttered back.

"Last week, I asked you to look up the test online for me and send me it."

"I did?"

"You think that helped me cheat on the test?"

"No." Gon briefly cleared up trying to recall what he actually did.

 _He didn't remember shit._

But he'd roll and lie about it. It was best to fake it till ya make it. So in a scoff he bragged, "I took a picture of the test and sent it."

"Without the answers? You really think I need a test with no answers!" Leorio practically screamed through the phone unable to untangle the knot of how unsmart that decision Gon made was. He couldn't help but say it, "That's so unsmart. Come on, you don't have to be a lot smart just a little."

"At least I'm smart enough to know unsmart isn't a REAL word."

"Yeah the crap you just pulled was so freaking bad. I had to make up a new word."

"Who's the unsmart one now?"

"STILL YOU. The fact you're using my word validates my point."

Gon snorted, he hovered his finger over the end call button threateningly. "I will end this discussion. Look you're in college. Why would you ask me for help? You act like I can handle all that bull."

Leorio sucked on his teeth impatiently, "Well I STILL need to pass this class. You're usually a good study buddy."

"Yeah when you're not trying to use me for cheating!" Gon practically screamed. He was against doing this whole thing anyway, he hated screwing around with falsehoods. He already did that enough with Killua.

"I need you! Kurapika is mad at me for not getting him a good enough valentines gift." Leorio said. His voice dipping down lowly a bit as if Kurapika could overhear their call together.

"Anyone would be mad at you! You bought him, napkins."

"Heart shaped napkins."

"FROM THE DISCOUNT DOLLAR STORE."

"They were cute and heart shaped."

"YOU COULDN'T EVEN GO TO A NAME BRAND STORE."

"IM A BROKE COLLEGE STUDENT." Leorio ushered out in a holler unable to express this enough. "What do you expect?"

"What anyone would! You had 364 days to consider a proper valentines day gift. You mes—no, _fucked_ up yourself." Gon specifically rolled his tongue on, ' _fucked up_ ' to ensure Leorio knew how unsmart he was being.

 _So unsmart. So fucked up. So..._

Gon made a almost gagging sound as he coughed a bit. He let out a displeasing hum, as he closed his eyes trying to ignore the sudden cramping of his stomach and sides. It felt like a hundred needles were being shoved into him at once. Causing him to hunch over and groan, "Aahh.. actually, I'll call you back Leorio."

The man gave a confused worried response for his friend, "Gon, are you okay?"

"No. I'm probably dying." Gon grunted out shakily. He tried to throw in a halfway broken laugh to kill down the tension, "Hahha! Ha."

"Gon. You know I'm about to be a doctor right? I CAN help you."

"It's probably nothing. Well actually no, it is something. But I can't talk about it."

"Why?"

"Because reasons...I can't."

Leorio sounded like he was choking back on his laughs. "You.. ahaha! You're not... ahah? Are you serious?" He was barely able to hold back as he teased, "Was it Killua? What he make you promise not to give way his secret chocolate stash?"

"No. Killua would probably make me do that. But it's much more important than that. It's sorta inappropriate to talk about." Gon held his tongue recalling how such information should stay secret.

Such a shame the rest of his silence gave it all away.

Leorio let out a excited yell, "All these years. I thought Killua was the shy one. He was playing us!"

Gon licked his lips trying to hold back curses. He fluttered his eyes shut almost recalling the moment, "D-Don't ju..jump to conclusions."

"I hope you used protection." Leorio shook his head in deep thought. "Especially with your Nen type being an enhancement."

Gon felt his face start to heat up as he sputtered out, "W-whhaa? What? Why? What's so special about.. HRRM?"

"Enhancers have the ability to use aura to increase the natural abilities of an object or one's own body." Leorio reminded him. "Increasing natural abilities can sometimes result in weird magical miracles almost by gaining the ability of conception or..."

Gon let out a squeal, "Conception?" He sounded like a lost and confused duckling who lost its mother.

Kurapika's voice cut in on the conversation, "Leorio did, Gon just admit to being knocked up? Imma knock whoever did it out."

Leorio yelled back, "It was Killua!"

"Hehe.. funny story REALLY.." Gon said laughing awkwardly to hold back his urge of wanting to shove his head into a wall.

 _He knew they should have been more cautious!_

 _He knew it.. he knew it.. HE SHOULD HAVE STUCK TO HIS GUT._

This wasn't normal. Not because of the power of love but because he was a freaking enhancer! And his body clearly wanted to enhance… But how? He didn't have any eggs? Don't tell him his body made that too? But how? Gon was sure he couldn't use Nen anymore!

It wasn't like Gon was freaked out. In a weird way he was still proud he was like one out of probably billions of men able to have a child. Plus, this was going to be awesome right? Killua and him were gonna be parents, and get on tv and everyone would love them. EVERYONE would know who Gon Freecss was.

"Gon is having a kid? He's still a kid!" Kurapika shouted back. "And is Killua is not Daddy material. Where is he? Leorio, give me the phone I gotta rant."

Leorio must have passed Kurapika the phone because Kurapika's voice rang out, "Gon…." It came as a bone chilling warning.

"I didn't even know I could still use nen..." Gon sighed heavily taking a deep breath he slowly held back his broken tone. He fought to keep his words steady as he admitted, "No matter what, we can handle it. If I think we cannot handle it I'll just get an abortion or something."

"I think you should heavily invest in your second option. You have your whole entire life ahead of you." Kurapika began to try and talk some sense into his friend. "You're 16. You shouldn't be worried about kids. You still haven't graduated high school yet."

"I know that! I can graduate and take care of a baby." Gon quipped trying to silence such scolding.

Kurapika still seemed unpressed, "What did your Aunt say? Where the heck is Killua? PUT KILLUA ON THE PHONE!"

"She's cool with it. I guess?" Gon nodded his head nervously as he looked around the store. Getting reminded of how he still had to pick up things on the list.

The pretty _damn long l_ ist. Uggh—he'd be in here for fucking ever.

His brown eyes gazed at his halfway filled groceries and he figured he'd have to double back around the store to find Killua.

Taking a deep breath he murmured, "I have to go. I'll have Killua call you later. We have to finish shopping." Gon pressed the end call button despite Kurapika's loud vocal protest.

Then instantly a text notification came:

 **[Lightning cute kid** ] Alright I'm coming, Sweetheart.

 **[Gon]** I would say don't rush yourself. But RUSH NOW.

 **[Lightning cute kid]** I'd God speed over but I'm push a cart and might end up hurting people.

 **[Gon]** Good, I'm heading towards frozen food.

Sending that final message, Gon put his phone in sleep mode. He shoved the device in his pocket then started pushing the cart towards the milk.

* * *

"Heck naw this place dirty as hell it looks like shit." Killua huffed out bitterly. He spun around still searching up and down for where Gon could possibly be lurking in the frozen food isle.

"You don't have to shop here." A lady scoffed walking past him at top speeds.

Killua flicked her a middle finger, "You don't have to respond to my comment!"

The lady seemed to curse a bit more and backed up pushing her cart into Killua's knees. She made the taller male fall to his knees on the ground. Huffing, "Disrespectful brat. God don't like ugly." Then she ran over his legs and she even looked tempted to yank the quarter out of Killua's cart so the wheels would lock.

Killua whined flaring his arms a bit, "What the heck old hag? Do you wanna end up in a body bag?"

"Hey!" A random voice called out. He pointed at Killua accusingly, "Some young man is threatening a poor old lady!"

"Poor old lady? She ran over my fucking legs! With freaking ton load of _bricks_ in her cart!" Killua exclaimed unable to comprehend why people would side with her. "Who goes to a store to buy bricks?"

"I'm gardening!"

"So you think you're the only one that gardens?"

"I know I'm the only one buying bricks."

The old had looked at Killua like he was some compulsive liar who took crack when he had bluntly came out saying, "Oh well, maybe I want bricks to build. To build... build a.." he darted his eyes around spotting a table saying, "Bomb shelter."

It was a joke of course, but the lady looked so ghostly pale after Killua had said it. She just sorta looked at him more perplexed than anything and grabbed a bottle of alcohol off the shelf. Mumbling, "I gotta get home and start chugging. Then tell my wife what we hoped for is finally happening."

"Oh..." Killua felt like he'd just been bitch slapped not expecting this sudden script change at all. "You.. you're wife?"

"Yup. We always wanted to have a bomb shelter out of bricks. It will be the perfect thing to put in our garden."

Killua swallowed numbly blinking into oblivion unwilling of how to break it to her that he had no clue how to build a freaking bomb shelter. Instead he choose against it. "Good luck then." Killua grumbled, as he shakily rose his feet. His ankles wobbled slightly as he leaned on the cart for support his legs were like jello as he leaned on his cart for support.

He looked at the list in the Baby carrier part of the cart, suddenly recalling how soon there would be a child in there. He felt his face go red at the thought, he figured Gon and him weren't really prepared for another life to be placed in their hands yet. They had a lot to get ready for, but they'd take it one step at a time of course.

Even if Gon didn't have his birth certificate yet, Killua knew they could get a fake one. He'd have to make sure they got married soon. No matter what, Killua would take Gon to be his own before their child was born.

Killua found himself smiling slightly despite the burning unnecessary senseless pain blazing up in his bones. Pleasantly he murmured, "My precious lil sunshine." He looked back upwards halfway hoping that Gon would miraculously show himself to him.

It must have been just his luck or the red string of fate that connected their souls together, because Gon came speeding cross the isle. The boys spiky black hair was blowing behind him as he shouted out, "KIIIILLLLLUAAAAAAAA!" He rode on the back half of momentum of the cart barreling towards him.

"Gon? How did I get here before you?" Killua's smile spread on his face at the sight of his sun.

"I was eating the free food samples!"

"You didn't bring any for me?"

"Killua, that's not important. What's important is, I know how I got pregnant!"

"SHHHHH! Not so loud, Gon!"

Gon stopped his cart right in front of Killua and tucked down his head sheepishly, "What's the problem?"

Killua pulled Gon over to him. Giving the smaller male a hug warmly informing him, "We have to be careful. We could have enemies anywhere.."

So Gon got a bit jittery when Killua touched him. It made a few voices in his brain flair up, " _You're bad kid… why would you do that? Why would you act like that? Why? Are you mad about the chips? Yeeeaaah… it's the CHIPS."_

"Damn it." Gon whined pulling away from his boyfriend. Then at the second thought, he hugged his arms around himself like a caterpillar does getting ready to turn into a butterfly in a cocoon.

He rubbed his stomach trying to comfort himself and clear his head.

"You're pregnant?" The old lady pointed at Gon with her cane.

"Eh?" Gon about jumped out of his skin looking at her. He babbled out, "Well I umm.. maybe.." The he flashed a playful smile on his face, "You have to tune into 16 and Pregnant special episode starring yours truly when the time comes!"

Killua let out a low groan. He was sorta pissed off that he failed to ditch this woman once again. Shaking his head he took up Gon's hand, "You mean after we miraculously find a way to get to York New City."

"You need to get to York New city?" The lady reached in her purse. She dug around inside it for a while before pulling out 2 fresh plane tickets. "You want these 2 free ones?"

"FREE?" Gon gasped out at the sight. "B-buutt.. nothing.. free? What?" He reached out for them shakily proclaiming, "I cannot believe we have such go-"

"HOLD UP!" Killua thundered out. He looked at the lady suspect. He couldn't tell if she was trying to screw them over. Cautiously he searched for motives, "Why would you wanna help us?"

"Why you don't trust me because I'm lesbian?"

"No! That's not the case! It's the fact you ran me over with bricks!"

"You flicked me off."

"That's harmless compared to if I wasn't a trained assassin that cart could have broke me!"

"So do you want the tickets or not?" The lady handed them over to Gon with such aggressive forcefulness, as if she wouldn't allow them to reject.

To make matters worse the music in the store switched and started playing, ' _God's Plan_.' by Drake. That made the whole entire situation more awkward.

"Hmm…" Killua watched mystified as Gon grinned holding the tickets to their freedom in his hands. Every inch of Killua's common sense was warning this might not turn out well for them, but the music was kind of convincing him otherwise.

Gon smiled brightly, his pearly white teeth all out on display as he complimented, "Thank you! What's your name? I want to thank you properly when we get TV famous!"

"Oh I wouldn't worry about mentioning me. My names Machi." The lady murmured and turned walking away pushing her cart along.

"Machi…?" Gon repeated the name lowly. It sounded so familiar on his tongue like he should be well aware of a previous run in with a person like that. But his memory was foggy except for a blob of pink hair and the gang spider when it came to her. Plus there was no way she would be that old… pff.. the spider? Pff what would they possibly want with Gon and Killua to go undercover anyway?

That was probably just a nice old lady and Gon figured he wouldn't plan on overthinking it. So gathering his doubts up he locked them away and waved the tickets at Killua. "Each day is us getting closer to our dreams!"

Killua narrowed his eyes slightly troubled but didn't make his ideas quite vocal. All he asked, "Are you sure you wanna do this?"

"If I start packing soon as we get home, will that answer your questions?" Gon grinned as he slapped the tickets across Killua's face playfully.

Flipping his white hair around he said, "Okay! Okay." Killua wrinkled up his nose pushing his eager little boyfriend down from harassing him by standing on his tippy toes.

Gon pressed two wet kisses on Killua's cheeks happily cheering, "We're gonna be TV stars!"

Killua let out a nervous awkward laugh, "Yeah or fools." He squeezed his hand with Gon's.

 _Making it clear that whatever they turn out to be it would be done together._


	11. Don't shake the embryo Gon! (11)

**We hit 1k (1,000) reads a few days ago! I was going to do a double update but I wrote y'all a long chapter instead. Plus a newly updated summary. Xoxo ~Mel**

* * *

"This is it. One last withdrawal sunshine, I promise." Killua rose up trying his best not to bang his head on the top of the small car when he was stepping out.

Gon fumbled with his fingers almost nervously, "Are you sure this is a good idea?" He glanced at the mirror catching a reflection of all their packed stuff in the back seats. "We did take half the groceries on our list and pack it with us. I don't want them to go bad."

"You know they won't." Killua leans inwards pressing a hot kiss on Gon's forehead."It will be fine. Plus we need this money since your spending everything to care for your aunt."

Gon frowned slightly unable to shake the bad feeling in his gut, "But robbing your parents blind like this?"

"I'm not taking _all their_ money. Just the part that should be _rightfully_ mine."

"You took out at least over 14,678,978,000 yen! That's more than a new car! That's more than house level prices. THAT'S MORE THAN A MILLION!"

"Well it's chump change to me."

"Oh my gosh! They're gonna catch us."

"They won't because we're leaving today. All the withdrawals will be traced back to here because I'm destroying the card and my cellphone."

"WHAT?"

"We can use your cellphone. Don't sweat it." Killua smiled lightly pulling away from Gon. He tapped on his lover's nose playfully, "It's the only way to ensure you and the little one's safety."

Gon darted his brown eyes over to look out the window, "Oh yeah.. the baby…" He seemed to recall how he never broke the news to Killua about how this was happening. He quickly began to say, "About that, Killua, I think it has something to do wi-"

Just then thousands of what sounded like the cops cars started to bullet down the road behind them. Instinctively Killua broke away from the car and took off running.

"Oh Shit!" Killua cursed loudly as he ducked almost barrel rolling out to escape out of sight.

Gon let out a shriek, "What the heck are you doing?" He pushed the car door open whispering harshly, "Killua get your ass up."

"Baby boy, the cops want my ass. Why would I put it up and make me an even bigger target?" Killua snapped back from the bushes. He ushered his hand out as if trying to use the force to push Gon's eyes away from him.

"Oh my gosh are you serious?"

"Would I be on my hands and knees in poison ivy if I wasn't?"

"That's not poison ivy… why would they plant poison ivy by the bank?"

"Upp… NOOOT my point."

Gon screwed his eyebrow up as the police cars raced passed them. He looked at Killua who was cowering on the ground, and rolled his eyes. He blew off the whole thing, "Well the cops are gone now and you're in the clear. So just get the rest of your money so we can blow this town since you're obviously paranoid."

"I'm not paranoid!" Killua huffed as he rose up to his feet defiantly. He puffed out his lips proclaiming, "I am just planning on being around a long long long enough time on this earth." He winked at Gon playfully adding in, "So we can grow old together, ya kno-?"

The white haired male paused for a few seconds, his sharp blue eyes looked around scanning the area. His pupils fell over some strange shift movements in the shadows where the lights hanging off the bank couldn't reach. He pulled his wallet out and took out his card as if testing the water to see if anything was going to come.

A few moments of way too calm peaceful silence followed with the rustling of leaves through tree branches.

Cunning brown orbs dashed around to see Killua's stern look on his face. It made tan finger start drumming on the steering wheel, anxiously. Gon wasn't big on waiting for things to happen. He'd much rather drive himself into the action.

So of course he opened up his big mouth hollering, "HELLO?! IF SOMEONE IS COMING TO ROB US, WOULD YOU COME OUT ALREADY? PLEASE!"

"GON!" Killua shouted back as he jumped almost frightful upon hearing Gon's loud screaming. He pointed at him accusingly, "Why… why the heck would you give away our element of surprise!? Now they know that we know that they know we know, what they know."

"WHAT THE HECK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN, KILLUA?" Gon screamed, as he turned off the car shoving the keys in his pocket. The shorter male stepped out, his brown eyes cutting to observe the dark area. He pointed to the silhouettes, barely being made out. "The bastards are right there. Let's run them in the ground."

"We.. can't..!" Killua yanked Gon's arm back soon as the other boy tried to take a few steps forward. "We don't know who those bums are!"

"So we coward away? They ran up on us... like they got some damn beef n shit." Gon's brown eyes seemed to flash full of anger. He tensed up ready to wreck anything that dared to come his way. His muscles flexed making his veins steadily bulge out his arm, his look darkened harshly.

Killua sighed, "No, they were spying on us." He closed his eyes knowing that when Gon got heated he was a tough fire to put out.

"Same difference! I don't want them looking at me strangely." Gon sneered as he grit his teeth. He waved his fist in the shadow's direction letting it be known loud and clear that they can eat this up their nostrils.

The damn voices in Gon's head had sent him on a really long lacking self confidence streak, lately. And now he was ready to bust up anyone who wanted to prove those stupid voices correct.

To make matters worse they chanted, " _Haha! Prove us wrong? Prove us wrong is futile, lil ma. We know the truth about you. More truth than you even refuse to accept yourself_." The sound of them right now made Gon get driven even more wild.

Killua rubbed Gon's arm trying to relax him. He spoke gently, "Gon, _beautiful._ Come on, look at me…" He took his other hand and squeezed Gon's cheeks turning those lovely malicious revenge burning brown eyes to meet cool ice blue. "You have to trust that I won't let anyone harm you or the baby." Hopefully Killua gave a pearly white smile, "We're good?"

"Meh.." Gon stuck his tongue out as if rejecting the offer, "In that case, prove your loyalty to me, Killua." He circled his finger back around to point at the spot, "Beat the shit out those punks for-" Biting his tongue harshly, his eyes dashed to the corner of his socket.

Gon let out a slight curse under his breath to the tall menacing looming sight now hovering beside him.

"Who you callin a punk, shrimp?" A deep manly voice demanded. The man pulled his hat down over his eyes, "If you were any smaller, you could be put on a grill or fried to make shrimp and chicken fried rice. Your little boyfriend right there, could be the chicken."

Killua dropped his hand from messing with Gon's soft face. The white haired male pulling forward a bit as his blue eyes flashed dangerously, "What the heck are you a cannibal or something?" He looked the thug up and down as if inspecting him.

"No, good grief." The man shook his head. Then he threw up his hands innocently, "Isn't that how you kids communicate now?"

Gon screwed up an eyebrow. "I never seen you on this island before. And we're so small everyone here, knows everyone. WHO ARE YOU?" He demanded, his teeth still grinding together as his hands trembled ready to land a punch on this man.

A woman popped up beside Gon on his opposite side. She had a huge cheerful smile on her face chanting, "Hi! Hi!" She waved all up in his grill, showing off her pearly white teeth. "We're just tourist! We were just recording you."

"Recording us?" Gon jolted back a bit, as the woman grabbed him. She seemed to be preventing him from getting back into the car as she moved her hands up around his body.

Her eyes tuckered down lowly as she murmured, "Oh yes…" Her fingers seemed to digging around in places that made Gon's body squirm trying to get away.

The man calmly walked forward towards the atm. He spoke out clearly, "My wife and I will only be in your hair for a minute. We need to take some money out to do some shopping."

He roughly elbowed Killua hard in the stomach, sending the boy crumbling to the ground. A very loud ' _crunch, crack, crackle_ ' was able to be heard.

"What the birds balls?" Killua murmured lowly, as he hunched over on the ground. He felt a weird feeling in his back pocket. "My.. my.." His pale finger hastily pulled out his once perfect looking cellphone now crushed and utterly destroyed to unrecognizable pieces.

Out the corner of the man's eyes he seemed to have caught the incident. He shrugged his shoulders, "OOPS." Then he went make to the machine taking the money as it came out.

Raising his fist, Killua huffed, "DAMN YOU!" At first he wasn't really pissed until his eyes spotted a Hunter's License from a back pocket; then his face tightened up as he glared at the man angrily from the sidewalk.

"Killua, don't! They're.. They're new here. They don't know any better!" Gon muttered out clearly feeling a bit uncomfortable with how things were going.

"Why the hell are you defending them?" Killua lowered his fist sourly. "You wanted to bust a cap in them just a few minutes ago!"

"Well they're foreigners." Gon squeaked out. He finally managed to push the woman away from off of him. The feeling of not being smothered making him feel a bit more emboldened, "Let's just let them be. We needed to crush and get rid of that phone anyway. So think of it as a blessing..."

"I _can't_ let this slide! His trick ass..." Killua bit his bottom lip holding back the truth of what he wanted to say and how he felt.

Taking a deep breath Killua rose up to his feet. He dusted himself off, as he narrowed his blue eyes at the man who was now walking away from the atm. The man didn't say a word back to him. Not a single, ' _sorry_ ' crossed his lips.

Killua could not handle this amount of extreme disrespect. NO ONE DISRESPECTS KILLUA ZOLDYCK AND GETS AWAY WITH IT. NO ONE WHO DARES KNOCK KILLUA ZOLDYCK TO THE GROUND GETS TO WALK AWAY WITH 2 PERFECTLY FINE MOVING LEGS!

Killua as ready to charge and drive that man's ugly looking face including his wanna be thuggin look and hat to the ground—To make them eat ant ass. But Gon placed his hand on top of his own, rubbing his pale skin in a sweet fashion. Yet Killua was too heated to feel embarrassed about PDA.

Because what he really wanted was to do some _PBA_.

Which in Killua's book stood for:

 _Public_

 _Beat down_

 _('N)_

 _Ass whoopin_

So Killua, just stood there as stiff as a statue until, he saw the man and his wife walk back into the shadows.

Gon smiled upon seeing Killua do, _'the right thing_ ' he let out a dreamy hum. "I'm proud of you. I feel really bad too for wanting to beat them up at first. But now I know, don't judge a book by it's cover."

Frowning slightly Killua murmured, "Yeah. Whatever. I should have let you beat them down."

Gon laughed as he got back into the car. He tapped on the clock watching the minutes tick by, "It's already 3:56am. And every second you're wasting..."

Killua kicked some of the dust up on the sidewalk as he yelled back to his lover, "I'm not wasting seconds!" He shoved his card into the ATM machine complaining, "Time is precious. By the way, check what time the flight leaves today." He started mashing a few buttons.

"Okay..sure." Gon shoved his hands into his pockets feeling around for where he might have put the tickets. He wiggled his fingers around only to find more balls of lent, "MMM?" His black hair fell slightly over his eyes as he cocked his head downward to look for the tickets.

Killua walked back to the car a few minutes later, with his hands full of cash. He kicked the door with his foot, asking, "Help me out will ya?"

Gon leaned over opening up the passenger side door, "Killua, did I give you the plane tickets?"

"Don't be baka." Killua quipped as he sat down inside the car. He shoved the rest of his money in the duffel bag by his feet. There was already about 3 of them overflowing with cash. He used them to prop his feet up as he sat, "You held the tickets ever since the lady gave them to us."

"Yeah, they were in my poc-holy!" Gon cursed as he slammed his hand on to the horn letting out a loud, ' _BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP_!'

Killua threw his hands up as he grabbed Gon by the shoulders. He started to shake the smaller boy back and forth yelling, "Gon! You didn't lose the tickets did you?"

A feeling of utter foolishness and disappointment washed over Gon. The voices chanting, " _See we were right. You're too weak. Any easy target because you care so much. You've grown soft._ "

It made anger bubble up inside him at the same time especially when he saw a shiny silver car, the man and woman drove right past them laughing and honking happily. They were deliberately rubbing their success in Killua and Gon's faces.

Letting out a pissed squeal, Gon pointed at them. "Even worst! That couple! They weren't tourist! They were scam artist!" His fingers trembled as his voice broke he scowled, "THEY'RE SCUM! THAT WOMAN, SHE STOLE OUR TICKETS, MY WALLET, MY PHONE!"

"Tch.." Killua let out a low growl. He whipped his head around to look at them, flicking him off. Immediately lighting started to crackle up around him as his blue eyes flashed deviously, his white haired spiked wildly out of control. Killua rolled down the window howling, "NO ONE MAKES A FOOL OUT OF ME! BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, NO ONE MAKES A FOOL OUT OF THE ONES, I LOVE! I'M GONNA BEAT YOU BOTH TO A BLOODY PULP!"

Gon let out a pissed off grunt under his breath, "I'm going to beat the shit out them, too." He placed his hands on the stick changing he car into gear.

Lifting his foot up slightly he slammed it back to mash full on the gas pedal, it sent the engine roaring wildy to life as the car flew forward on the road. A few dark strands of energy ran through the vehicles mixing with dangerous amounts of voltage.

The velocity and wind pressure made an ever loud crackling and booming sound like a thunderstorm was in their car while they drove. Gon's eyes were glue to the road like he was in GTA and had to outrun the cops.

Killua shots zaps of lightning out the window aiding their struggle to catch up. He also became Gon's biggest cheerleader persistent, "Come on Gon! Put the pedal to da metal! This is ridiculous!"

"Did you forget I only have my learners permit?" Gon hissed, "I'm already driving illegally! This is my aunt Mito's car. So I am not doing above 80mph!"

"I thought you wanted to catch these asswipes." Killua huffed he gave a little zap to the car's system forcing it to speed up exponentially.

A little yelp escaped Gon's mouth, "Don't do that!" The car lurched forward even faster as it sparked going rouge with speed.

Gon barely managed to weave in and out, (the action preformed done by the darkness engulfing the edges) and was thankful of the few cars on the road at night.

"I'm helping."

"Don't help! I know what I'm doing! They're clearly going to the airport!"

"You can't know that, Gon. They're so stupid and so fucking dumb, they might do something crazy." Killua pointed at the car way far ahead of them in the road, "Just look at the way they drive!"

The silver car doged and swireved all over the road, maneuvering around with ease. The car was doing at least 100 mph, on the main road and was not afraid to start trashing up on sidewalks if the opportunity presented itself either it be a person on there or not. With every mile it zoomed past it got even closer to the airport, which wasn't even anything but 2 minutes away at this point.

Rolling his eyes Gon fired off, "I do know that! Why else would they steal my plane tickets?" He a sharp pain of nausea wash over him soon as all the fancy airport terminal lights washed over the car. Dully he let out a groan, "Craap.. I'm gonna puke."

"Whoa! Whoa! L-like...li..like right now?" Killua jolted back as if he didn't want to be caught in the crossfire of that. He seemed to recall on how all Gon had to eaten was pizza, and how that probably wasn't good for anyone one them right now.

"I don't know. I feel like it." Gon hunched over the steering wheel grumbling, "My head hurts. The lights…" He dropped his eyes to try and look around the busy airport area that was full of roads and parking spaces dedicated to specific terminals.

Killua shook his head almost revolted at the idea. Then he stuck his head out the window to search around, "Where the heck did the silver car go?" He grit his teeth responding, "Ya know what, fuck it. Just park and pull over. You go throw up and I'll go find them myself."

"But.. Killua.. I stay with me..." Gon spoke out shakily his stomach twisting and turning. He leaned over to rest his head on his lover's shoulder.

"G-gg.. gon." Killua started out to say, before he just reached out and took the wheel. He shrugged his shoulders deciding that it was his job to park this stupid car, in this stupid what seemed to be never ending sea of cars, in the stupid airport, where stupid people took the stupid tickets.

 _EVERYTHING WAS SO FUCKING STUPID!_

Only much to his surprise Gon didn't black out or throw up all over him. In exchange Gon seemed to do the opposite, his eye shot open even wider upon feeling Killua's hands run over his own. He seemed to tighten his grip on the wheel as he growled, "Long as you stay with me. I don't have to worry about anything." If possible more dark energy sparked up as he yanked the car over making it whirve out of control jumping off the bridge road they were going on and pumpeting into the parking lot below.

"Hoooolly shit!" Killua screamed.

He had heard that pregnancy made people crazy, but this was so next level shit. He didn't know if Gon had secretly smoked something or what, but whatever he thought didn't matter since they were plummeting to what seemed like certain doom right now.

Gon pulled out a towel from under his seat and started fluffing it out. He calmly said, "It's just like when we were kids, we have to be a little reckless. I didn't plan to total my Aunt's car. But she'll understand."

Killua couldn't help but hollar, "Why? Sweet Jesus!" He felt the pressure blow his body back as he struggled to unbuckle his and Gon's seat belt.

At first he wasn't going to get the bags they were packed in the back, but then he recalled there was only 4 of them and the other 3 were loaded with money. So he decided on throwing them out.

Killua yanked Gon out of his seat as he kicked open the car door.

Gon let out a hysterical, "Killua! Killua, what are you doing?" He clung on to the taller boy for dear life.

That had to be the most non-intellectual question in the world to ask right now. Like there is legit such thing as not smart and stupid questions. And what Gon just asked. WHAT HE JUST ASKED WAS A REALLY STUPID QUESTION. Because honestly what else would Killua be doing? He was saving the 3 of them from certain death!

Taking the chance Killua just closed his eyes and leaped out out the car after he saw how the luggage had landed he aimed for him and Gon to land on top of that. He was sure they could, but it would make him feel better if something would slow down their fall.

"Move your head a bit." Gon commanded from resting in Killua's arms. He waved Killua's head over before he let go of the towel using it as a parachute for them to float downward with.

Killua's eye twitched slightly, "Your plan was to...to... do this the whole time?" He let out a slight grunt, "A warning would have been nice."

"I gave one." Gon insisted, his spiky hair flying around wildly. He cut his eyes over at where the car was crashing at and pointed out, "Just look below."

Killu did look down and the sight before him was absolutely horrifying as Gon's Aunt's car crashed down due to gravity it landed right on top of that man and woman's silver car. Their screams were so loud and high pitched it seemed like the people in the loud and noisy airport could even hear them. There was a loud crunching sound as the glass shattered as well as what sounded like bones as if the man and woman were being crushed alive.

Awestruck Killua let out a slight gasp, "How.. how did you know they would be there?"

"I know this airport like the back of my hand." Gon bragged, "They were far ahead enough to reach this loop already."

Soon the quietness hit when they touched the ground in a matter of seconds, it felt better compared to the rest of the loudness of the wind blowing all around them when falling. Yet it still left Killua's ears ringing from having to adjust to the loud sounds to a more calming volume in the first place. It slightly rattled up his senses as he rose up to his feet on top of their pile of luggage.

"Good thinking. We even stuck the landing." Killua placed Gon on his feet like a delicate princess. Then he immediately turned his attention to the crushed silver car. He couldn't tell for sure if the people inside were KO already.

"I.. I.. I want to kill them." Gon grumbled his mind clearly still not over how those people got away with everything important to him. His black hair was blocking his eye sight as he staggered a bit like a drunk as he hollered at the top of his lungs, "They're SO incompetent."

"What are we waiting for? Let's get them." Killua confirmed. He said it confidently without a doubt in his mind.

From past experience he knew that Gon and him could do and take down anything together. So demolishing some scam artist would be a piece of cake.

Gon cracked his knuckles as he strolled over to the car. Killua was right beside him, with high voltage of lightning popping all over his body. There was the sounds of sirens and by standards gasping and screaming, "Police! Police!" Yet that didn't matter to either of them at all.

Especially when Killua shoved his hand in the car, his sharp nails jabbing a shaking limp body. His pale hands wrapped around a shirt and mercilessly yanked the body out of the car right out of the broken window. Gon looked onwards being sure that the first thing the man saw when he opened his eyes was a harsh bloody punch to his face.

The man looked already on the brim of death but that didn't stop Gon from pounding another few punched to his face watching it get distorted and broken. In a pissed off tone he started screaming at the top of his lungs demanding, "WHERE'S YOUR BITCH? WHERE'S YOUR DUMB BITCH?" He dragged the man across the road roughly.

"Hmm.." Killua felt around deeper inside the car. He felt around for anyone who was possible still alive or almost dead. The man was bound to bleed out eventually anyway.

Tucking his head down he peeked it through. He saw the woman's legs the rest of her body seemed to be demolished in the crash. He pulled his head out, whipping the pieces of glass from his perfect white strands he shook it for good measure. Then Killua walked over to Gon saying, "The bitch is dead. She died on impact." He kicked the man just for the heck of it to watch his body recoil in pain.

Growling Gon slapped the man, shaking his body to force him to speak, "So.. you.. Tell us where you put our stuff!"

The man's large eyes not blinking, just stared at them in spite. It made Killua shove his foot into the man's stomach harder, "I would answer if I were you." The white haired male insisted, "Gon's about to explode right now. There is a mix of puke and spit just ready to come up." He twisted his foot in man's gut making sure he could feel all the pain and suffering he deserved, "He's not very good at holding down food, right now ya see? He's got a baby in his stomach."

Slowly the man's eyes moved in disbelief as he let out a slight disbelievable gasp. He moved his arms as he motioned back over to the car.

Killua looked over to the wreck as well, then back at the man demanding, "You're gonna have to be more specific." He nudged Gon's side lightly, "I can arrange for him to puke all over your face."

"Hehe.." Gon let out a slight deranged laugh, as he rubbed his stomach. He gave menacingly look as he felt a bit of hunks of food hit the roof of his mouth.

Weakly the man's voice cracked out, "The.. the.. _Glove_ department." He his jaw slacked down after that, his will to live obviously fading.

Killua glared at the man with such heavy disgust that he slung his fist back just to hammer it into man's face. It sent the bruised and battered dude's two front teeth flying as his nose caved inwards breaking instantaneously.

Taking a few steps back hastily scolding, "Someone who gives up their life so easily, never deserved it in the first place." Killua headed towards the car telling Gon, "You should really puke in his mouth. Make him truly suffer if he wants to act weak like this."

"Normally, I would say this is overly mean." Gon muttered as he looked at the deathly sick looking man. "But I have no mercy for those who take advantage of others."

He yerked his hand under the man's chin, forcing bruised lips apart. Allowing the squeezing feeling freedom:

5

3

0... _he upchucked._

Chunks of food flying all in the man's face, coating him in an amber redish yellow. The man gagged at the substance forced down his throat.

Killua didn't have the stomach to watch such a disgusting thing happen and the sounds that people make when throwing up was enough for him to be grossed out. So instead he focused on feeling around inside the car.

He flicked his hand around opening up the glove box, then he shoved some stuff around before getting Gon's wallet and phone. Once pulling out the objects he checked inside the wallet, and sure enough that was where the two had stolen away the tickets. Killua grinned in satisfaction that they had the tickets back and all their luggage. Plus they were already conveniently at the airport.

Waving the airplane tickets in the air Killua, stepped away from the car. He happily commanded, "Hurry up with puking your guts out, Sunshine! We have to clear out with our luggage before police and security get over here!"


	12. Don't shake the embryo Gon! (12)

"The lines and security was a hassle but at least we're on the plane now." Gon yawned in relief. After so long it felt good to finally reach the destination of resting his ass in the plane seat it deserved to be in. He relaxed, leaning back in his chair as his glossy brown eyes glanced out the window to see the runway.

Pulling an earbud out of his ear, "Sorry, what was that?" Killua's blue eyes cracked open, as he hugged his bagging closer to him.

The 16 year old had his bags of money stuffed as his carry on bags since he couldn't part without them. Even using one bag as a pillow to rest his head on, Killua seemed the most comfy out of the two of them. It didn't bother Gon very much, since he preferred to be roomy with space anyway. Gon wasn't really much of a cuddler, he just liked to have people he cared about around him.

 _So long as Killua was satisfied Gon was very content right now._

"Nothing.." Gon shrugged his shoulders carelessly. He put up his usual cheerful happy smile, "I was just thinking about how our flight leaves at 7:30am and we got on early and had time to eat and stuff. I figured it was some pretty good luck, huh?"

Killua looked at Gon for a short time before giving a small nod. His short white hair bobbled as he inspected the smaller boy as if trying to see if he was lying or not. Just in case Killua decided to ask, "You're not going to get sick again are you? Was feeding you before we came on here a mistake? Are you and the little one cold? You wanna hold a money bag for comfort and support?" He poked at Gon's face repeatedly drilling his finger at him for answers.

Gon's smile fell a bit sloppily, "I'll be fine." He pressed his lips together as if heavy in thought over everything. It was just a lot to take in with everything happening so fast he barely had any time to gather himself.

Killua's expression turned more firm as his blue eyes softened at Gon. "Try to get some sleep, baby boy."

"I haven't gotten any sleep for hours. I still don't think I can, everytime I close my eyes." Gon's eyebrows bunched up slightly as he shook his head, "I keep seeing my Aunt in that hospital bed. I don't like seeing her like that. So I think I'll just keep on staying up. Besides, I can take a few naps."

"Pff, says the one who keeps upchucking." Killua scoffed. Gently he pulled some hair from over his eyes, that seemed to reflect the color of the sky. The teen clearly teasing Gon as he pestered, "Isn't sleep good for growing? Get some sleep so our little miracle can grow."

Gon's smile grew on his face, "What do you know about growing babies, Killua?" He pressed his hand over his stomach.

"ENOUGH!" Killua said boldly as if he had doctor level knowledge.

"No you don't. Stop lying." Gon shamed him, reading through Killua's act. His face deadpanned as he narrowed his eyes at Killua demanding the truth. "You're just as clueless as me."

Proudly Killua waved the phone around he was listening to music on, "I have technology to help me."

"You know that is my phone, right?" Gon said, unimpressed. He offered his hand out, "I can search pregnancy becoming an expert too."

"You could have at least made an effort to make me feel special!" Killua complained. He rolled his shoulders as he cocked his head around, fumbling with the phone in his hand. He started to unlock the screen, "I am trying to be a good daddy."

"I never said, you weren't being a good dad! You're doing really awesome, Killua! You're really sweet on me and stuff." Gon promoted attempting to boost Killua's self confidence. He raised his hand up to ruffle up some of Killua's fluffy white hair, allowing the strands to run through his fingertips he hummed, "I know our kid is going to love you."

"Gon…..Anyone or anything, with your genes will literally love everyone and everything." Killua rolled his eyes. Then when he saw how blank faced Gon reacted, he let out a slight laugh. "Baka! Don't look so cute like that." His hands reached up to cup Gon's face as he planted a kiss on his forehead, "When you give me that cute look, I can't help myself from kissing all over you."

A burst of soft cooing fell out of Gon's mouth as he felt Killua start to press kisses on his eyelids. Gon struggled to speak out, "K-Killua! You…are so adorable."

"I'm adorable?" Killua blushed pointing at himself. "I was think, I'm the sexy one." He moved his hand to rest on Gon's thigh. He didn't move it, he just rested his hand there and rubbed Gon's thigh, lightly stroking it. He murmured, "It doesn't matter either way. Long as we're together. I don't care what you see in me."

Gon let out a slight heavenly pant like he was finally back placed on cloud nine. "I look at you and I know they sky's not the limit. There are no limits with you." He uttered a dreamy look appearing in his glaze, his hazel eyes twinkled adoringly.

"My baby boy, growing my baby, _my family._ " Killua hummed pleasantly rubbing Gon's thigh a bit faster.

His face darkening up almost disappointingly as he heard through the speakers, ' _ **Please put your seat belts on. We are preparing for take off.'**_

Gon held his breath fearfully as he put on his seat belt. He was sure that Killua was going to remove his hand off of his thigh, but that moment never came. Killua's pale hand kept right on resting right on top of Gon's jeans. The sight made Gon blush slightly, as he swallowed nervously. His smile unable to be hidden as he glanced up at Killua.

Of course being the person that Killua was, he looked at Gon right back. Their eyes met with a moment of such heavy tension, with blue clashing with brown. Bright blue eyes drawing in ever close until Killua's nose bumped right on top of Gon's. Killua whispered in the thin air between them, "We can finish this later in our hotel room."

"Y-you.. You got us a hotel room?" Gon sputtered out almost in disbelief that Killua had planned that far ahead.

"Yeah. I did it while we were waiting in that long line to check bags and all that crazy security." Killua started to drum his finger on Gon's thigh, as if building up a rhythm.

"That… that is good." Gon tried to ignore the loud outrageous pounding in his chest of his racing heart. He turned to look out the window to prevent Killua from getting a fire started in a place like this.

He had to think of other thoughts! He had to do his best to clear his brain of _that_.

Killua clicked his tongue, his face getting over shadowed with the change of clouds as the plane took off. He handed Gon his phone back, "If you're going to stay up, you might as well have this to play games with. Just let me keep listening to music, helps me sleep."He closed his eyes, "If you need to get out to the bathroom, just shake me. Also if you need anything, you know where to get the money for it." Killua gave Gon's thigh one final squeeze before seemingly officially going back to dreamland.

Gon took his phone back, making sure that it was connected to the plane's free wifi. His finger fumbled over the keys as he messed around with it, then he checked out the window, his eyes getting lost in the sea of white clouds. A huge part of him could barely believe that this was really happening. He was on his way to be a freaking star, as well as being a mother… or a father? Or.. umm.. Actually, Gon had no clue what he actually was, right now. But that didn't matter. Gender roles are dead and overrated.

 _Gon was a pregnant man, and did he care?_

 _No._

 _Gon was proud as fuck!_

The more, Gon thought about it, he wondered how the TV producers would react. He just figured that they would like it since, they liked drama anyway? It would be easy. Besides, Gon had a cute face, a hot body, and a drop dead gorgeous smile. He was the living and breathing definition of charming.

"And you." Gon rubbed his stomach, "I'm talking to you to prove to myself, I'm not crazy. I haven't heard voices in over an hour so I'm pretty proud of myself for not acting crazy." He paused for a few seconds as if recalling that he was only probably around 7 weeks so the baby couldn't hear or respond to him.

He felt a few beads of stress sweat started to form under his armpits as he panted lightly. This time he spoke to himself, "Oh shit, I am crazy."

The voices in his head flared up, " _Well, you always have us to talk to. Even if your sweet prince charming, Killua and your cute little, unborn child can't respond. We're still here for you, Gon._ "

Slamming his hands on his ears Gon shouted, "SHUT FUCK UP! NO ONE ASKED FOR YA'LL PETTY SHIT!"

A few people on the other side of the plane must have heard, because they turned to look at Gon. Even a flight attendant lady rushed over and asked, "Sir, is everything alright?"

"Umm.." Gon was seriously sweating now. His face went red a bit with embarrassment as he tucked down slouching in his seat. He wanted to disappear like his own existence, at the moment. Numbly he shook his head sheepishly, "No. I'm fine. S-sorry.. _Sorry_."

Killua popped his eyes open once more, "What?" He seemed to be confused as to why Gon was looking so damn pasty like he saw a ghost and why the flight attendant woman looked so concerned for Gon's life.

The woman looked like she was about to explain what transpired to Killua, therefor Gon knew shut that down real quick. He asked the lady, "Can, Can..I get some water, please?" He croaked it out the best he could trying not to sound embarrassed.

Nodding her head the flight attendant walked away, heading to the back of the plane.

Gon let out a gruff sigh that he was holding upon seeing her leave. He felt Killua squeeze his thigh again. The white haired male appeared to be a bit worried, "Gon. I'm serious. Is there something you're not telling me?"

"No!" Gon squeaked out. "Nothing. Nothing!" He numbly raised up his phone and started typing in stuff. "I just was gasping.. In.. in shock. And.. and the shock.. It.. it.." The sound of his voice broke numerous amounts of time as he tried to piece together a lie that would make some sense. He started to draw some ideas out the air, "It made everyone look at me!"

"Really?" Killua's face remained stern and unchanging. The 16 year old was very hard to fool and pull a fast one over. Especially when he'd been with Gon for so long he could tell when something weird began kicking in.

"Yes." Gon responded nervously.

Killua wiggled his fingers, "Show me, what was so shocking to you then." He ushered his head over to lean where Gon was looking at his phone.

Fumbling with a lock of his black hair, Gon stopped twisting it. His mind pooling with uncertainty as he looked at what he typed in. For a few seconds, he thanked fate for having his back and not letting him google search something stupid. "Umm.." He read off the facts of his phone, "Did you know our kid is the size of a sweet pea, right now?"

"Hrrm?" Killua's face looked suddenly conflicted as a perplexing look danced in his eyes. He took the phone from Gon and brought it in closer to read the tiny words on the screen. His eyes scanned over the results of the search reading it out loud, "How big is the baby at 7 weeks?"

Letting out some broke up nerve wrecking breaths, Gon couldn't believe how lucky he actually was right now. He actually didn't screw this cover up. HE DID SOMETHING RIGHT! Mentally he was throwing himself a party that was well deserved for such quick thinking.

"Here is your water, sir." The woman responded soon as she came back with a bottle of water. Gon took it thankfully as he handed her the amount of money due. The kind lady gave him a still very confound look as she promoted, "Hope you feel better. Call if you need anything else."

Eagerly Gon opened up the battle of water, "Yes." he responded before he started chugging it down. He was attempting to regain his lost body fluids from all the sweat coming off of him right now.

Killua didn't let such actions go unnoticed. He was very attentive, being an assassin and all, but he always tended to be more overly so when it came to Gon. He looked at the smaller boy gulping down the water like it was nobody's business. It was almost annoying to him to feel like Gon was hiding something.

So Killua clutched Gon's phone a bit more harshly. His eyes scanning over the results some more before he finally got the correct words to come up. "I guess this is pretty shocking. It's hard to believe we all started out so small." He licked lips as he hummed, "I wonder how it makes you feel."

Gon almost spit out all his water on the unfortunate soul sitting in front of him. The water droplets went flying before he could swallow. They soaked the screen on the back of the seat as he spewed, "BRRRTTTTT!" That question had caught him a bit off guard. Gon looked at Killua unable to determine if it was trick or not. He poked his stomach, "Huh? It feel like shit. I wanna throw up all the time. I get bad cramps."

"All the love waiting for you, is worth the pain?" Killua screwed up an eyebrow as he looked at Gon suspect, "You shouldn't let yourself get beat up over this."

Gon's brain slowly started to connect the dots. Was Killua assuming that Gon was losing his marbles because of the baby? If so Gon was sure the baby wasn't the case. Gon just figured the guilt on his heart was catching up to him after so long. And if anything, the only way to get rid of all this guilt was to wear it out thin.

Shaking his head he accidentally banged it on the window. He held back another scream as he pouted, "No! No! You have it all wrong..." Gon rubbed his head grumbling under his breath. He felt so uncomfortable and shook up and they hadn't even experienced turbulence yet. Still he roared, "It's not that! It's not… so… so... Don't talk like that, Killua! It's not fair to child, it didn't ask to be created."

A sting of guilt must have hit Killua because he barked back, "Well I didn't ask to.." He closed his mouth preventing him from saying something that he probably would regret. Instead he fired off, "I just wanna help you! I don't like seeing you act so erratic. I'm only telling you this because I love you. You can't take pain and think you can handle everything yourself, Gon. You always do this. We can be having a good time, and next thing you know, you act like this."

"Like what?"

"Like.. like _this_! There is no other way to address it. Ya know the way you were about Kite."

Upon the mention of ' _Kite'_ Gon's eye started twitching uncontrollably. His heart began loudly pounding loudly as his blood boiled from rage. He was unable to hold back the snarl that came out, "Shut up! You don't know anything about it. You _think_ you know but YOU _DON'T_!"

"Oh? I don't?" Killua held back a broken laugh. He narrowed his blue eyes, "I know enough not to feel bad. Those two scam artists who just attacked us, were Hunters. They're coming after me. The bastards want me dead, BUT DO YOU SEEM TO BE CARING ABOUT THAT? NO!"

"That's not true! I do care! But you started a fight with them first."

"So you're trusting their motives over mine? You trust them over your husband, over your lover, over the father of your child?"

"OF COURSE NOT!"

"Well then don't act crazy. It's so simple. JUST DON'T DO IT."

Gon frowned a bit mumbling, "That might be easy for you to say. But it's harder for people to do." He snatched up the phone from Killua's hand, "So don't say something unless you're gonna, DO SOMETHING!"

"You said you wanted to do it your way!" Killua fired off, "The second I get my sweet little sunshine's back, you're gonna yell at me! FOR NOTHING! EVEN WHEN I'M JUST JOKING AROUND." He grabbed Gon's wrist pulling them back in.

"DONT JOKE ABOUT KITE!" Gon huffed out, he looked ready to actually throw his own phone across the plane. But then he recalled how this was their own phone and how they sorta needed it. Instead he decided to say, "If you were joking with me, you wouldn't have said sounded like that. I don't like it, Killua. _I don't._ "

"Who you you think you're threatening?" Killua spat out. He harshly ripped the phone from Gon's hand hammering him, "Everything I do is for us. Did you ever think of that? You might not like it, but someone has to be the mature one here, Gon."

"Mature one?" Gon couldn't help but laugh. "You act like a 10 year old who smokes weed on the regular. You're more crazy than me. Haha!" He lowered his voice slightly sneering out, "You kill people for the fun of it, you crazy fucking psychopath."

The word ' _psychopath_ ' made Killua's mouth open the close abruptly. He appeared to be a little awestruck that Gon had actually went there. Slowly he raised his hand up finally removing it off of Gon's thigh. Killua trembled slightly as if reflecting on how much of a fact that statement was. He closed his blue eyes sadly, taking in a deep breath and letting it out roughly. A strong part of Killua wanted to remind Gon how they had just committed murder a few hours ago, but he didn't even bother. He was too pissed off to bother.

Gon gave a grin satisfied that he had won their argument, as he laid his head on Killua's shoulder. He decided that Killua was much better when he shut up and stopped trying to act all nobel. Inhaling the smell of Killua made Gon feel much better anyway. He responded, "Nothing is wrong with that. I don't like you killing people, but I want you to do stuff that makes you happy. You put up with my flaws, so I'll put up with yours."

"He… heeheee.." Killua let out a slur of deranged laughter as he his body jolted up and down. He smirked at the feel of Gon's head on top of his shoulder.

' _Poor, Gon thinking he's won'_ Killua thought, _'My poor thing_.'

Killua's smirk grew on his face showing off his pearly white teeth and boastful sparkle in his eyes, as he bragged, "First of all, killing people is my profession. NOT A FLAW. NOT A HOBBY. IT'S A JOB. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO WHAT YOU LOVE. It is what's going to put food on the table. I made all this money that we have now. I'm paying for the hotel. I even paid for that bottle of water in your hand. So if you have a problem with dirty money, then I guess you're married to the wrong guy."

"Or crazy just attracts crazy.." Gon declared boldly. He inched upwards the tip of his nose brushing over Killua's.

Without hesitation, Killua slammed his lips right on top of Gon's. They took a deep breath full of each other which was enough to remind them no matter how upset they were they would _never be over each other._

Killua's fingers started digging into Gon's thigh. Gon didn't know how they got there again because he was in pure bliss. He didn't care if he was kissing him in public. They didn't have anything to be frustrated with anymore. Their kisses melting away only to be pulled back together after a breath for air. The brushes of plump lips turning cherry red and swollen between both of their shaking breaths. It keeps on for a period of time, until they're out of energy.

Now the both of them were sitting there, holding each other, fingers carding through hair. They could both ignore everyone else in the plane who happen to be a round, because they didn't matter anymore. When Gon and Killua were with each other nobody else really mattered.

And maybe it was because _Crazy = Crazy_ Maybe there was no escaping that overwhelming fact, even they wouldn't ever admit it. They both knew the truth. They were just two really fucked up kids, who were going to try and make their way in York New city.

 _"So…. Let's have some fun!_ " The voices in Gon's heard chirped. For once, Gon actually found himself agreeing. Soon they would be in Ringon Airport and they both knew what wild memories they had there.


	13. Don’t shake the embryo Gon! (13)

The sound of loud angry honking blew up in Killua's ears as he kept walking forward across the crosswalk. His hands were lock tightly with Gon as dragged the nervous smaller boy behind him.

Some trashy people in their fancy Audi r8 and Porsche 911 cars were in an uproar. Most of them upper class had their hands practically glued to mashing the horn. It let out a loud almost annoying chorus of, "HOOOOOOOOOONK HOOONK, HAAAOOOOK, BEEEEEEP, HOOONK!"

Until finally a posh man rolled down his window hollering, "What the heck are you doing? Can't you see the crosswalk says, ' _Don't walk!_ ' We have a green light."

"Shut up!" Killua barked out aggressively as sweat trickled down his forehead. He glared at all the cars we dared put up a fight against his judgment. "I demand silence from all of you!" Pointing at the signal he hollered, "IT'S THE STUPID LIGHTS FAULT FOR BEING STUPID! THE SHIT DELIBERATELY CHANGED SOON AS WE WALKED UP!"

"Ya dumb kid, you're holding up traffic!" A woman screeched, throwing up her fist in the air as if to show off the Rolex on her wrist.

"You're the dumb one! If you hit us, you'll hear from my lawyers! I'll sue the shit out of you! I'll sue for all you've got. You'll never own another Rolex again!" Killua yelled back at them.

Not too long ago they had landed and successfully collected all their luggage. The only thing that was troublesome had been getting a Taxicab to get here, so in the end they ended up walking all 3 miles. Which was why currently Killua was not in the mood to hear shit from angry drivers, because he was bloody angry himself!

It wasn't that walking 3 miles was any trouble for them. York New city had tons of sidewalks and street vendors. Plus Gon really started going all out buying a bunch of stuff, most of them were cheap nick-nack souvenirs. Slowly that constantly yammering and the sun was getting under Killua's skin. All he wanted to do right now was get to the hotel.

AND THEY WERE SO CLOSE.

All Killua had to do was successfully get Gon and all their junk across this intersection and then they would be _literally_ at the Bayloke hotel's front door.

"Sorry!" Gon called out to all the cars. He took it upon himself to ask forgiveness for Killua's rogue actions. Carefully he followed behind his lover keeping his bags close on him as they finally successfully crossed to the other side.

"You shouldn't have apologized to those ass wipes." Killua spat out, squeezing Gon's hand. He pulled his bags behind him, with his spare one keeping things moving forward.

Gon shrugged his shoulders, "We really weren't supposed to be crossing. Isn't that a little dangerous?"

"Gon, we've been in way worse dangerous situations than that." Killua shrugged his shoulders uncaring. "A little major traffic crossing is nothing compares to our life and death ones."

Figuring that Killua gave an excellent point there, Gon reluctantly agreed. "Yeah. That's true. There is probably nothing more deadly than what we've been through and survived before."

Actually those words must have been a jinx because soon as they floated up into the atmosphere Gon and Killua were about to face _way_ worst.

The doors opened up to the uptown hotel automatically. The first sight of a little lake with a waterfall in the lobby, yet if that wasn't _enough_ proof of its luxurious design, the high ceiling was decorated and marble was on the front desk counter lined with gold and silver trimming. There was a bunch of snazzy looking sofa chairs and all glass tables decorated with high end arrangements.

The deeper they walked into the fancy hotel to reach the front desk, the more out of place Gon felt. Gon was only wearing a tank top and some booty sweats. (Gradually Gon was working his way to wearing baggy sweat clothes since he figured when the baby got bigger they would be easier to wear and what not. But Gon was having a hard time giving up wearing booty shorts. Those things were too damn fabulous and made his ass look like a pillow.) So he stuck closer to Killua's side. Who honestly wasn't wearing a much better combination than Gon. Killua was rocking some super tight black skinny jeans and a hoodie that said, ' _ **Is Mayonnaise an instrument?**_ ' All across the top.

To make matters worse soon as they got to the front desk to check in the woman, who was all dressed up pretty enough to attend a fancy ball, just stared at them. Her face painted on of absolute disbelief as she uttered, "You're the name of: Cssydck." The way she pronounced it sounded like, ' _Caaaasss-yyyeeeh-dep-ck_ ' which didn't make sense at all because there were no vowels.

It took all of Gon's strength to withhold the laughter that had built up in his throat. All he could do was stiffly look at Killua who seemed to have a cruel mocking grin on his face. The 16 year was ready to milk the mistake for all its worth as he leaned forward in the counter.

Pulling out a chocolate bar from the complimentary box, Killua started to open it. "It's pronounced, C _ss_ ydck." He rolled his tongue on the _s_ part to convey what sounded similar to a snake.

The woman at first didn't seem to buy it at all. She no doubt took Gon and Killua for some first class dirty money whores. So blowing off the comment she told him sternly, "Well Mr. Caassyeeeh _dick_."

Yes, this time she threw in, ' _Dick_ ' just to see how Killua would react.

Which paid off because Killua almost choked on his chocolate.

The woman didn't bat an eyelash at him, "You need to pay 167,900 yen up front."

Coughing a bit, Killua stumbled around, fumbling with the half eaten chocolate bar in his hand until he handed it to Gon. "Hold this." He commanded as he reached into his bag pulling out a few bands of 10,000 and placing it on her desk.

At first the woman appeared to be shocked. "Oh." She murmured taking the money. Her fake nails began rapidly typing on her computer trying to hide the shame from her face from behind the monitor.

Cockily, Killua allowed the smile to return to his face satisfied that he managed to shut that bitch up. He triumphantly took a bite of the chocolate bar in Gon's hands, munching loudly. "I know. We might seem like bums but we're rich. So you'd best be on your toes ready to bend to what we say. Because ya know…" His blue eyes drifted over to the bell boys in the lobby making deliveries. So he elbowed Gon whispering, "Sunshine, what do you want? Say something that makes us sound insanely rich and snobbish."

At the idea, Gon's mind drifted to fruit and the lovely displays of them his aunt had at the house. "I really think I want one of those cute fruity edible fruit basket displays sent to our room." He smiled a bit, hoping his choice would bring him closer to his Aunt ' _in spirit.'_

Killua nodded his head vigorously, "We need like 5 of those." He informed her, "Not just one, we must have 5 because we plan to donate the leftovers to the homeless starving children in the world, because we're such nice people."

"So you want me to deliver them to the orphanage down the street then?"

"Yes, send the order there. Charge it to my tab."

"Yes, sir." The woman seemed to grumble as if she hated how she was being forced to take orders from a 16 year old.

A very pleased cat like expression was on Killua's face as he turned to Gon humming, "That's how ya do it, baby boy." He winked at Gon as if encouragement to have him whip out a notepad right now and take pointers.

But Gon's hazel brown eyes seemed to keep wandering at the whole entire busy lobby buzzing full of people and life. Everyone was chatting and talking eagerly and there was a very hype vibe in the hotel that was hard to miss.

"There must be a convention going on or something." Gon muttered, mostly to himself.

The lady at the front desk heard him and said, "Yeah there is. Isn't that what you kids are here for? The Hunters Association is having a get together party." Her eyes darted up accusingly, "Even tho it isn't until next Saturday, it's attracting a bunch of lowlife scums like _you_ to our humble upper class establishment."

Gon stared at her, rather confused. He couldn't really tell the difference between her and him. Sure, she was dressed better but her toxic personality was enough to make her scum.

"Hey!" Killua fired off hostile as he looked ready to knock some sense into her. "Just give us the room key already." His tone had amplified to around a 10 since he clearly had something to be pissed off about now. It was almost as if now he could start sensing everyone's Nen around him and in the lobby alone he was far outnumbered.

Handing the room key over to Killua, the woman rolled her eyes. "Oh honey, bless your soul." She said it in a true sarcastic southern belle accent.

For some reason that made Killua wanna box her face in even more, but feeling Gon just tug on his shirt, he decided against it. That dumb bitch wasn't worth his time anyway. So whipping his head around he quickly just called for a bellboy to take their bags up to their room.

While Gon pulled out his phone, instinctively he began taking pictures wanting to capture the look of the hotel to show his Aunt when she woke up. Only that soon he heard the sound of Killua murmuring, "Damn. This isn't good. This place is loaded with Hunters."

Curiously, Gon cut his pupils side to side inspecting the place. Despite Leorio's wisdom, Gon couldn't feel Nen nor could he see it around people. To Gon everyone in the lobby appeared to be normal, without the sight of a license.

Gon tugged on Killua's shirt questioning, "Who are they?"

Killua pointed at a few people in a group who seemed to know each other, "Them." He said simply, then pointed at a random stray man on the phone, "Him." He moved his hand to a young woman who was shamelessly flirting with a bellboy, "Her for sure."

"Wow…" Gon murmured softly unable to believe so much power was around him.

"No! Not wow!" Killua urged, "This is what we came here to PREVENT!" He tugged Gon towards the elevator informing him. "If we're lucky we can stay locked up in our room until the little event is over and…"

Gon seemed to have other plans as his eyes lit up, burning with excitement. He practically bounced as he hummed, "But we could learn new moves! Or...maybe Ging might be at there!"

"That's lame!" Killua started to brag. "I have outsmarted plenty of Hunters! If anything you should be on your knees begging to learn, my moves."

"I know all your moves already Killua, in combat and out. Plus you KNOW the only thing I'll get on my knees for."

"More like bend over and suck."

"I WILL DROP YOU!"

Letting out a meek laugh, Killua pressed the button for the elevator. "I love you. You're my fun sized chocolate bar, how about that?"

"I don't care!" Gon started to raise his voice a bit in complaint. He made a fist warning, "I can still kick ass."

"Why, I wouldn't expect anything less from the boy my brother ran off with…" The elevator door clicked open to reveal a boy, his hands were in his pockets. He looked at Gon almost with a pissed off snark, "I guess your, Gon Freecss."

At first Gon didn't know how to react, his brain start to buzz. A roaring took place that made his body feel the need to strengthen itself. Yet before Gon could form a proper reaction, Killua seemed to launch into overprotective father mode.

The 16 year old reached over, hastily throwing an arm around the boy. "Kalluto!" Killua snarled out, "WHAT THE ACTUAL HECK ARE YOU DOING HERE?" His words seem to silence the whole lobby as some turned to look at the scene playing out.

Kalluto's eyes flashed almost with satisfaction as a deviously as he hummed, "Oh so now… you want to notice me, after all these years? After everything I've been thro-" his voice cracked slightly as he grit his teeth. Almost troubled by the fact Killua was glaring at him like some kind of pest. He fire back, "You must have fun playing fairy tales so much."

Gon swallowed dryly, his Adam's apple bobbing. The voices in his head declaring, " _Who? Who the heck is that? He.. he knows. Killua's brother? He's a threat? No… YES? But we can kick ass right? WE CAN KICK ASS? Huh? Wanna… wanna kick his ass_?"

"Kalluto, Don't be stupid. I wasn't avoiding you." Killua decided to elaborate. "I had other responsibilities." He gave Kalluto a glance up and down, "If you have any problems we can talk about it or.."

"Oh no. No problem." The boy paused, his sharp vision caught sight of the darkness that was brewing in Gon's eyes.

 _Gon looked right at Kalluto, like he was some target ready to be dropped to oblivion._

Kalluto pointed at Gon, "You." He pressed his lips together waving his hand forward offering a nonverbal invitation, ' _Fight me. Let's learn the truth right here, right now.'_

Killua hissed, "What is wrong with you? STOP! Fucking stop." He grabbed Kalluto pulling him over to the side away from Gon. Scolding Kalluto, "That's not how to approach people. You should shake his hand. Act like you have some common sense!"

"Do I know better?" Kalluto repeated completely laced in sacrament. Then he yanked away from Killua informing him, "Chrollo says I don't need a reason to fight people."

"C-chrollo?" Killua's face screwed up. This time he sunk his nails into Kalluto's skin to ensure he didn't escape away. He dragged his little brother in close demanding, "What business do you have hanging with him?"

"Pff… none of yours." Kalluto spat rolling his eyes.

"It is fucking MINE. Don't fucking… LIE to me, Kalluto!"

"WHY? You do it all the time!"

"What are you even doing here? Did Mom and Dad send you?"

"Why did you run away from home again with your boyfriend?"

Killua growled, lifting up Kalluto threateningly. He huffed in his face, "Last time I met you weren't this much of a talker."

Kalluto smirked a bit, "Guess who taught me to speak my mind?"

"Heh…" Killua let out a slight laugh. He grinned at his little brother menacingly, "You think this is funny?" Balling up his first he slammed it into Kalluto's face.

The short purpled haired 12 year old male howled curses, "What the heck?" What the.." He stumbled back. He touched the side of his throbbing face, as Kalluto glared at his big brother mockingly repeating, " _You think this is funny?_ Beating the shit out of someone younger than you. You sick fuck! AND THINK I SPENT SO MUCH TIME TRYING TO FIND YOU AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME!"

"No. I did it so you can get yourself together! You're not fighting, Gon. Now introduce yourself." Killua huffed, as he pushed Kalluto again towards Gon, "Put your damn hand out and act civilized."

"Fine." Kalluto spit blood onto the lobby floor. He held a shaky hand out as he mumbled out from his busted bleeding lip, "My name is Kalluto Zoldyck. I'm 13 years old, the youngest member of the family."

Strangely Gon's arm remained planted in place. He glared up at Kalluto almost in limbo. He didn't know what to do or say and he really wanted to beat the living shit out of Kalluto for daring to lay a single on of his stank ass freaky pale chicken strip looking fingers in Killua. All the sounds Gon seemed to process was a loud roaring of what seemed to be more demonic than human.

Kalluto a sideways glance at Gon as he walked over to him. "What's your problem? You won't shake my hand?" He stole a look at Killua demanding, "What did you tell him about me?"

"Nothing! He didn't even know you existed, stop running up in people's lives like this!" Killua let go of Kalluto and scooped up Gon's hand, "Sunshine, what are you waiting for?"

The voices in Gon's head chanted, _"You wanna have Killua stand up for you forever? Huh? You wanna have Killua be your watch dog? You can't even distinguish this from an enemy trick or not… haha, you're too scared. If you accept me. I can help you._ "

"No!" Gon thundered out. Despite how heavy his tongue fought to stay downwards. He forced it to move as he pushed Killua away from him sourly, "Not now. Not ever. I don't run away from fights. I'm not gonna start now."

Killua looked at him slightly concerned yet with the twitch of a brow it gave a blow of dignity to see Gon react in such a way. Killua as he let go of Gon's hand, "This is kinda stupid… Kalluto is not gonna fight you." He rubbed his temples trying to configure how this message got all messed up.

That didn't assist in helping Gon's voices at all. They hollered, " _Look at him! Look at him! He's let go of your hand! He's gonna leave you. We're the only ones in this world who you can depend on. So unleash us… unleash…_ "

Kalluto sighed, "Okay, I'll shake hands for you." He stepped forward right before Gon could even gather his thoughts. The younger boy slugged his hand outwards ramming himself forward.

"STEP OFF!" Gon found himself hollering at the top of his lungs. He grabbed the hand with his own preventing it from making contact. Powerfully he stood still as a statue, with his brown eyes draining of all life filling with darkness and hollow. His mouth formed in a deep frown as he huffed, "From now on _nobody_ touches me without my permission." He painfully twisted Kalluto's wrist around repeating, "NOBODY."

The whole entire hotel lobby mood seemed to shift; Killua could feel it. It was like an endless wave of darkness just washed over them, gushing out and spilling from…. from where? Killua at first couldn't put his mind to where the sudden burst of nen had came from. It was almost monstrous deadly amount, the same kind he was sure he felt before… the same… but _harder._ There was heavy strength laying dominant for so long finally being able to ooze out freely.

Killua barely managed to crank his neck over and observe the lobby. It was engulfed in a negative very bitterly cold vibe, where the air was so thin it made his head dizzy. Some Hunters who felt it were literally shook, getting chills up their arm making their nerves on edge while others fell to their knees in pure agony.

 _It was a feeling of absolute despair._

A feeling that Killua strangely found awfully familiar.. he knew the feeling of this. The sight of purely organic chaos was a blessing that he'd witnessed before…. before with… FROM… CREATED BY….

Any screams were muffled by a strange almost zero space wavelength. It was as if time had stopped for normal people—even if only for a few seconds it was enough to strike fear into every Hunter in the lobby.

Calmly Gon walked right past everyone like he was some supermodel. He strutted right around Kalluto, looking the young teen up and down. His black hair bounced and his grip on Kalluto's wrist only tightened at what looked like inhuman strength. Daringly his orbs flashed to make eye contact to with Killua.

The sight made Killua try to open up his mouth, but his jaw was locked tightly. All he could do was watch in horror as streaks of darkness rolled off of Gon. The nen coming his body was almost as similar to…

"Gon! HE JUST WANTED TO SHAKE YOUR HAND! IT'S NOT THAT SERIOUS!" Killua tried to scream at the top of his lungs as the darkness came out like hands. They clung onto Killua the more he tried to fight and screech at the top of his lungs, all his words dispersed as if he was caught in an airtight vacuum.

The hands even threatening to suck anyone in who dare stop it as the stands of darkness seemed to tug on Killua's limbs forcing him to stumble forward. They dragged the white haired male into the elevator as kept calling out for Gon.

Screwing up an eyebrow, Gon's brown eyes rolled over allowing the scene to play out before he let go of Kalluto's wrist. He dropped the limp limb back down, almost uncaring. His plump pinks lips were the only clear sound able to be heard, speaking out the words, " _The world_ may carry on." Snapping his fingers together time resumed as if nothing ever happened.

Well at first, it _seemed_ like things had reverted to normal.

Only to have Gon walk— a sexy strut like a fucking queen— right over to the elevator door. In a single second they snapped closed, from the outside came the rare screeching of Kalluto in pure agony.

The sound rattled Killua letting him put out a yelp, his back smacking the cramped elevator space. Gon jumped a bit upon seeing Killua so jumpy.

Gon gave a dumbfounded look at him, "What's your problem?" He pressed the button of floor 19 in order to get the machine working.

"I..I.." Killua didn't know what to say or react to the now flood of air now steadily being able to flood his lungs. He didn't know how to look at Gon without completely mirroring the horrific expression one might show after they see a monster. In a terrified manner he muttered, "You.. you said you couldn't use Nen anymore."

Gon gave a confused glance at Killua. He rocked back and forth a bit baffled himself at where Killua was leading this conversation to. "I can't. But Leorio said that my body _still_ can. I guess I'm subconsciously doing it to grow the baby."

"You.. You didn't feel.. or..?" Killua felt lost for words. His mind buzzing, ' _Was it possible that Gon had just done such an event by accident? Who lets out that much Nen on accident? WHO HAS THAT MUCH NEN TO SPARE?'_

Gon sucked on his tongue swallowing numbly, "Did something happen?" He pressed his hand on top of his stomach worriedly, "Did Kalluto hurt the baby? Is that your brother? YOU HAVE MORE CRAZY SIBLINGS I DON'T KNOW ABOUT!"

Killua observed carefully how Gon growled aggressively, but it wasn't like last time. There was no nen coming off of him anymore and all the crazy waved of despair had diminished. So slowly Killua started to configure an idea in his head….Maybe such actions were done by Gon's body instinctively to protect the baby growing inside him?

"NO! He was going TO SHAKE YOUR HAND! And I planned for you to meet Kalluto.. probably on better circumstances. It's been years since I saw him myself."

"I STOPPED HIM?"

"Yes. It was WEIRD! YOU ACTED ALL BAD ASS OVER A HAND SHAKE!"

"I STOPPED Kalluto? OH NO! Did I hurt him?"

"Did you NOT hear those screams of pain?"

Gon let out a surprised almost fearful cry, "Oh.. _oh God._. oh GOD!." He cringed up a bit as he hugged himself. "Why didn't you stop me? That's your little brother!"

"He was being an asshole at first! But I tried to stop you.. I.. I don't know!" Killua squeaked out.

"Why is your family so mean to each other?" Gon started to freak out. He paced around in a circle as the elevator kept going up, hollering, "Now your family knows where we are. They'll find us. Illumi will come too….. He'll kill me! He'll kill our child! My god….Killua! We're dead! SO DEAD!"

"Shh!" Killua tried to hush Gon. "He doesn't know what room we're in and let's keep it that way. Let's.. lets.." His voice cracked a bit in fear so he proposed, "Act like none of this never happened!"

* * *

 **Next update will be April 14th because it's the 14th chapter.** **The chapter kinda is emotional and dark...and wow it's spicy. ;)**

 **Thanks for reading up till now. Hope you're enjoying! Thanks for the follows/favs. Feel free to comment. Dm if you need anything.~Mel**


	14. Don't shake the embryo Gon! (14)

Eager feet ran back and forth on the carpet to the hard title flooring for what seemed like the 22nd time in a row that night. (No doubt the neighbor's below were smoking pissed at him. That or they probably thought they were fucking…) Gon slipping a bit in his socks as he slid to the balcony door.

Killua had been watching Gon run back and forth for a while now. At first when they arrived in the hotel room, he found it awfully cute. However, after about an hour of observing this from the king sized bed, Killua wasn't really sure what to make of all these actions and pictures Gon was taking on his phone. Plus Killua was actually sure, Gon hadn't sat down since they've gotten here.

"Gon, sweetheart….Relax…" Killua called out. He waved the pamphlet jammed full of information up in the air, "There's 24/7 room service and free WiFi! Stop pacing around and play a game or something."

"I.. I can't! This is my first time in a 5 star hotel! Plus your crazy family is probably after us! Who can relax knowing assassins are after you?" Gon squealed out. His brown eyes clearly caught up in the creamy paint and fascinating pop art on the walls. There was even a sofa off to the side, with a coffee table in the large luxurious kitchen area.

Rolling his eyes, Killua proceeded to look at himself in the 75-inch LED TV monitor right in front of the bed. He started fluffing his white hair up lecturing, "I'm well aware of that. But you've been acting like Illumi will come banging and knock down our door at any given second. Granted he could have caught a flight and flew over here… but I doubt it. He's more than likely with Hisoka or something." His blue eyes flashed for a moment as he puckered his lips, positioning his head to the side for a pose. "So… don't sweat it. You have to keep calm at times like this or stress will try to take advantage of you."

Gon shook his head defiantly pulling back the blackout curtains he allowed some more sunlight to pour into the room. "If he tries that shit. Bringing that sneaky clown Hisoka over here… I'll beat the shit out of him."

"I know." Killua insisted. He motioned to their bags already emptied out into the dressers. "We are going to be here for a few weeks. We need to make this place feel like home and I get that my little brother Kalluto showing up isn't helping our case."

"Or the Hunters…"

"Yeah that's tuff."

"You're bad at choosing hotels."

"I've seen the error of my ways now. I've been thinking since you've been taking pictures."

Raising his phone in the air like a prize, Gon bragged, "I have to take lots of pictures for Aunt Mito! So she has lots of things and memories to reflect upon." He lowered it along with his voice softly, "Well if she even _cares_ to anymore."

"She does." Killua spoke the words out gently. He dashed his blue eyes over for a quick second lovingly uttering, "Your Aunt _really_ loves you Gon. Just because she gets upset with you once isn't the end. She'll give you a hug, a kiss, and show you how much she cares for you once again."

Gon was silent for a few seconds.

 _5 seconds,_

 _8 seconds,_

 _11 seconds,_

Numbly Killua attempted to comfort Gon again, "You just have to believe that she'll be fine. She is, ya know? Those doctors and nurses are medical professionals. They'll cure her by any means necessary."

"No they won't." Gon whispered mostly to himself. "They don't go all out for broke people. Heck, they couldn't barely bring themselves to tell me she might wake up. Those were probably my last moments with her… and I acted…" Swallowing the lump in his throat he tried to hide the pain from his voice, "I love my Aunt. I am still too oblivious to how life can be over so instantly. I.."

A warm stinging feeling burned in his eyes. Sadness washed over Gon, from his head, to his shaking fingers, to his nose dripping with snot. All he could hear was the voices mocking him, " _Don't cry in front of Killua! You dumb cry baby! All you ever do is cry! You cry at night. You cry in the morning! Are you just gonna spend the rest of your life feeling sorry for yourself?"_

Vigorously Gon found himself nodding his head, "Yes." He choked down the words. He'd be a cry baby forever and just wallow in his nonstop waves of grief that indulge to fall on his heart.

Killua cringed up, hearing Gon start sniffling was enough to make him lose his mind. Killua couldn't explain how much he _hated_ to see Gon cry. Soon his eyes would start watering up if we watched too long.

 _He felt bad too._

Didn't Gon know that he wasn't the only one suffering? Didn't Gon know that Killua was troubled too? Did Gon ever consider that pushing Killua out was a bad thing?

Quickly Killua started to twist up his locks of white hair. He did it just to negate his mind from sad terrifying facts that wouldn't ever ease his mind. His eyes fell away from Gon almost ashamed to look at him. His voice cracking a bit, "This is only happening because of your hormones. Your body is doing a lot taking care of the baby, so you're really emotional right now is all. You're strong, Gon."

"I want.. my baby…" Gon murmured lowly. He hugged himself, tenderly wrapping his arms around his stomach he began to cry harder. "I WANT MY BABY, KILLUA."

"You do.. you have it..?" Killua found himself very confused. Still his eyes were unable to meet Gon's. He pressed his lips together, as he licked them nervously. Raising his hand out, he waved Gon over to sit with him.

Gon wasn't moving. He just remained there crying and feeling sorry for himself as he complained, "I want my baby now, Killua! I… I want to hold my baby."

Sighing, Killua felt his own eyes water as he finally stood up to go comfort Gon. The taller male reached out and rubbed his lover's back. Smoothing out some of the wrinkles with his hot touch, Killua held Gon close to him. "The baby has to get bigger. It has to grow and do some pretty miraculous stuff before it's able to come out. But on the bright side, you'll get to see soon."

"I'll ruin.. I'll hurt.." Gon hollered almost in a fit of desperation. "I've been ruining everything I've touched for the past couple of days. I'm hurting myself. I…" His fingers found their ways up to his spiky black hair, he was about to probably start ripping it out if Killua hadn't grabbed his wrist.

A flurry of angry sparked in Killua eyes. He squeezed Gon's wrist scolding him, "SHUT UP! BAKA! NO ONE IS GOING TO HURT OUR CHILD! I WON'T LET THEM! I WON'T ALLOW NO ONE TO HURT YOU!" He began to drag Gon to the bed as a few tears fell from his face. Hell, it pained him to say it, but he did! Killua came right on out. "YOUR OWN BODY WON'T EVEN LET ANYONE HURT THE BABY! HECK YOU SUBCONSCIOUSLY MANAGED TO TAP INTO SO MUCH NEN…"

"But I still feel so weak." Gon sniffled, taking a few tissues off the dresser. "I am anxious with stuff I can't understand and can't control." His legs buckled a bit as he trembled.

Killua sat Gon on the bed. Deciding it was best to hear the news sitting down. He placed Gon in his lap so he could hug him from behind. Killua kissed Gon's ear, "Gon, your desire and lusting for power lets you do amazing things. You can skyrocket your nen, that's good. But the last time you did, it almost killed you. This time…"

Gon gave a grave face to Killua. Meekly he repeated, "This time?" There was an unwavering fear that this time might have been too far.

"This time nothing visible has really changed about you. You look the same. You look fine really."

"I'm NOT FINE. I'm…"

"I won't hold you back, if that's what you're worried about. We can do our own thing."

"Killua…That's it. I'm scared of MY OWN THING."

"WELL DON'T COME TO ME ABOUT IT! You're searching for me to miraculously make things alright. You think I can get Alluka and restore something lost. It doesn't work like that. For one we're in a different situation and two… If something happens to you while you're pregnant… It's just, Alluka has terms and certain conditions to be met. It doesn't work instantly."

"It doesn't?"

"No! So you have to take care of yourself and be fucking careful. We came here for the world to remember our names forever, right?"

"I… don't know." Gon spoke out with a heavy heart as he looked down at his stomach. "I want to make sure our baby is okay. I'm worried… that I'm not the best home for it." He stole a glance at Killua who was above him. Giving glossy adorable puppy eyes, "No matter what, I'll try my best. I'm not really mom material. Mom's are supposed to be strong, wise and helpful but, I'm a fucking train wreck." A few more tears fell from his eyes. "A pregnant train who runs into anything and wrecks it."

A part of Killua actually decided to wonder if this was particularly any if his actions made Gon like this. Maybe he should have warned Gon about deleting him beforehand? Maybe he should have been more open with Gon about why he hated the Hunters Association?

Killua who usually would swoon Gon over by now, was dumbfounded. He was confused at how much more fulfilling he could be to Gon. Gon already had his all. What more could Killua give? What part could Killua sacrifice to please the love of his life?

Making a tight fist Killua lowered his head, "I feel like dragging someone right now." He growled, all his thoughts boiling into anger. "I will kill for your happiness, Gon." His blue eyes darkened, " _kill."_

Gon's eyes watered a bit but he blinked back tears. He just sorta mumbled, "It's _that_ it's coming back again. And… and this time what if you're not there to save me."

Wet steak of sorrow began rolling down Killua's cheeks as he got a flashback to old memories. All his mind could think: ' _Never again. Never again. Never want to see Gon reduced to such a deathly state._ '

Yet deep down Killua knew he couldn't say that he'd, " _Always save him._ " Because that was a promise for him to do the impossible.

 _How could someone save another when they couldn't even save themself?_

"You said you're happy with the baby. I'm happy too. We'll love you unconditionally. You'll have so much love, sweetheart. The 3 of us, will be so happy together..." Killua's hand hovered over Gon's stomach. It wasn't flat anymore. Even though it was only visible because of how tight Gon's shirt was him, the little bulge was there. Something told him to ask, "Can I touch?" As if he knew he needed access through a barrier.

Slowly Gon nodded his head, blinking back more tears, "Of you can. You're the daddy. It's like our princess…" He lifted his shirt up pulling it off of his head. He tossed it to the floor carelessly, "Don't expect much."

Killua's expression softened slightly as his eyes came in contact with Gon's stomach.

The lovely lightly toned nature of it seemed to be gone and faded away. Replaced with a little protruding bulge that sorta looked out of place on Gon's firm muscular figure.

Placing one hand on it carefully, his mind registered, _warmth._ Killua marveled at how much warmth was coming from such a small part.

' _That's because your child is in there.'_ His thoughts supplied an answer.

Letting his hand rub in a gentle, circular motion, Gon let out a coo of pleasure and Killua continued the caresses.

"Everything I do is for you, two." Killua said absent-mindedly. "You're both all I have left to care about in this world. Well, and Alluka. Alluka is gonna be so happy." Humming to himself in delight that that was his family, growing inside his Gon, his lover. That fact alone made Killua feel strangely giddy.

Gon looked up, his eyes filled with compassion, "Our baby… She'll be cute." He tried his best to change the topic away from sadness.

"She?" Killua challenged as he paused. He seemed to ponder this for a while, "How do you know it's a girl?"

"I don't. I just want a girl. I don't mind gender though, it's all a spectrum. She can change when she gets older." Gon said pleasantly. It seemed that this was the only thing that calmed him. "Mostly I want a cis girl so I can name her Pegasus."

"Hold up, where did that name come from?"

"It's going to be Pegy for short."

"P-e-g-g-y?"

"Yeah or P-e-g-y."

"Is there a real difference?"

"Other than spelling? No.. not really. I just want to be that parent who is REALLY EXTRA."

Killua found a smile replacing the tears on his face as he laughed brightly, "Of course you do! You're my sunshine!" He rubbed Gon's stomach humming, "Who's gonna give birth to someone beautiful."

"Yep! Imagine what an important feat for science this is becoming! The sun and moon having a child together~!" Gon chirped out bragging, "It has to be Venus."

Killua nodded in approval, "Goddess of beauty and love? I approve." He pressed a kiss on the bulge of Gon's stomach. At the part where the skin seemed weirdly stretched out he traced over the marks with his lips encouraging, "Our baby was created out of our love so it seems fitting."

Gon couldn't help but laugh at the warm wet sensation of Killua's tongue touching his tan skin. It made him squirm around, "Haha! Ha, K i..iillua!"

Killua grinned at Gon cheekily. "What? You have body art, now. Let me admire it." He gave one final kiss on Gon's belly button. "And our princess."

Gon's brown eyes met blue lustfully as he informed him sharply, "Love is something they can never take away from us. No matter how bad things get, there is nothing I need more than you remaining by my side." He placed his hand on top of Killua's preaching, "Getting married is mixing your life with another person's. That's what I want from you."

Killua already knew there was truth behind everything that Gon was saying, but deep down he was scared too. He wouldn't admit this fear to himself or anyone else but it was the truth. He was scared of going back to his family in shame of getting his ass murdered. He was worried about him and Gon being called out when they went into public.

"I just want to get married, too." Killua promoted eagerly. He rubbed Gon's stomach a bit more. "And we'll do it. We'll get someone.. we'll make a way. I'll even buy you a big fancy wedding ring."

All Killua wanted was to be happy with Gon and their soon to be born child. Killua just wanted to live a normal life. He wanted to put food on the table and come home to a loving family.

"I do. I want a simple courthouse wedding. I don't really want anyone else, there…not right now." Gon took a deep breath. It made his body rise and then fall as he spoke, "I love my friends. But I wanna be with just you right now. It's probably better our princess too."

Killua nodded his head in agreement. He knew that if Gon was any better he'd want to throw a large party instead of a wedding. Still Killua was thankful Gon wasn't making him go near people and hastily rush around to make their wedding fancy.

Killua couldn't stress enough how people bothered him. What really utterly got Killua away from liking people wasn't their useless repeating of the same actions over and over again, it was their cruelty. How people enjoyed to judge everything about a person. How people felt it was their responsibility to point out every flaw they saw. That is what drove Killua to brim of insanity. Why speak about someone as if their lifestyle somehow affects them?

He pulled his lips from on top of Gon's swelling stomach mumbling, "We need to teach our kid ABC's and learn their name, soon as they can hear. No dumbass is gonna be bred from my genes. I only breed champions."

Then he decided to press his face to Gon's stomach. Killua was about to say, " _You have to be smart. Don't make a fool out of yourself. Don't be like me."_ Only the words never crossed his mouth.

Gon stood up feeling the need to stretch and touch his toes. He wiggled them as if trying to shake the burden off his heart. Murmuring, "I guess so.. Education is important." He paused, "I hope school doesn't stress her out. School makes my head hurt."

"Does it make you unhappy?"

"Umm.. sometimes."

"Don't go there then." The white haired male declared, "Baby boy, I want you to be happy." He tried to grow the small smile on his tear streaked face, "You happy makes me happy." Killua muttered catching a reflection of his somber face in the TV.

He really looked torn apart and broken from within. When was the last time that Killua had cried? The last time Killua shed a tear for anyone?

Only Gon could get Killua to be a sobbing desperate wreck like this.

Wiping the tears from his eyes, Killua tried to look as strong as he sounded. "I mean, we're gonna be parents now, so that's a good happy thing."

Gon stood up straight, "Yeah." He sniffled, "Our little girl doesn't deserve our problems, I want her to be the happiest purest person alive."

The voices in Gon's reminded him, " _Because it's not too late for her. She can still be an angel. LONG AS YOU DON'T CORRUPT HER._ "

Gon began nudging Killua repeatedly urging a subject change, "Do you wanna see the pictures I took for my Aunt?"

"I'm sure they're really good." Killua verbally applauded his eyes still looking at the TV showing his lack of care for the subject. He lazily reached out to pull Gon in for a kiss, but the smaller boy took a few steps back.

"If you cannot appreciate it, then you don't get any sugar." Gon huffed bitterly. "Don't even ask when we go to the party."

Letting out a grunt Killua asked, "What party?"

"The Hunter's party, duh." Gon fired off rolling his eyes.

"I thought we were staying in our hotel room to hide from," Killua drew air quotations, "You know who and you know what."

"Yeah, but I started thinking about if Ging is there or not. I need to see him again."

"Why? I SAID, _He sucks_."

"Ging is your father-in-law!"

"That doesn't change the fact he sucks."

"STILL." Gon's voice was raised up higher now. He made it clear he had something important to say, "I need to find and tell him about Aunt Mito. I haven't been able to contact him in a while. Plus, he is about to be a Grandfather."

"GREAT! NOW HE CAN BE THE WORSE ONE OF THOSE TOO!" Killua gave a sarcastic cheer.

Gon rolled his eyes carelessly, "Will you just help me find, Ging? Come to this party with me and everything will work out." Then he flashed a quick playful grin to Killua, "If you do this, I might be able to forgive you not wanting to look at my pictures."

Cutting his eyes Killua screwed up an eyebrow challenging, "How the heck are you figuring this? Those two things shouldn't correspond in any way!"

"Because I said they do. So obviously they fucking do."

"Just like I obviously fucking care about your fucking pictures. But I cannot fucking look at them fucking now."

"If you think using the word fucking is going to be the adjective to help your case then you're fucking wrong."

Killua let out a brief snort as his eyes darted up to meet brown. Gon had a pretty grin on his face, that made him blush a bit. Both boys seem to be holding back a burst of laughter after looking at each other. It was sorta like when ya look at your best friend and then suddenly you both can't control the storm of laughter coming next. That's basically what Gon and Killua were trying their best to do.

"Gon." Killua barely managed to squeak out. He had a smile implanted on his face, as he crept his hand up to place it on Gon's ass.

Gon was the first to cave into a fit of giggles as he felt Killua pull him into a warm hug on the bed.

Killua basically wrapping his body around Gon as he pulled him downwards into the pillow top bed. Together they both sink backwards into the Egyptian cotton linens, creating almost a ripple in the water effect. Gon squirmed a tad, still enjoying the protection of Killua's arms. It gave him a calm feeling of protection. That no matter what happens it wouldn't matter because Killua would be right there for him. Gosh—Gon loved Killua more than anything.

Killua affectionately rubbed his face in the crook of Gon's neck teasing him, "Remember I told you, we'd finish up our antics on the plane in here." His soft lips ran over Gon's collarbone as he pleaded, "Stop playing around and let me ravish my sweet chocolate bar."

Gon threw his arms on the taller male on top of him. He dropped his phone somewhere in the bed and didn't bother to search for it since he'd rather screw around with his lover than take pictures any day. With a sly smirk he bucked his hips upwards, "On a scale of one to ten, how do you feel about ruining hotel sheets?"

Feeling as if his heart was about to burst from his chest, Killua chuckled at such a proposal. So he decided to correct, "I'd say a six. Since I don't plan to do anything too wild."

Gon pulled in Killua towards himself, offering zero amount of room for any moment from him—expecting Killua to feel comfortable. Gon ran his fingers down Killua's spine quickly chirping, "You just said my nen would protect the baby. What's the holdup?"

Determination pinching at his brow, Killua straddled Gon's hips, pinning him down with his weight. Gently informing him, "I never heard of no such thing."

Gon let out a noise, a mix of a groan and a huff, letting himself slide lower onto the sheets. "Uuugghhhh! That's no fun. You should take more risk, Killua. You can be such a stick in the mud sometimes." He whined a bit disappointed.

Cupping both sides of Gon's face, Killua bent over, leaning in to brush his lips against the others. The contact was tentative, almost shy. Lowly Killua whispered in the airy blissful kiss, "I can take risk on any other thing. But when it comes to you and the little one, if I did something stupid… I wouldn't _ever forgive_ myself."


	15. Don't shake the embryo Gon! (15)

Killua was puzzled himself as to why he was in this situation right now. If anyone would have told him a week ago, he'd be stuck outside a fancy Hunter party, he'd assume they were lying through their teeth. Killua, did NOT go to parties.

Parties = lots and lots of people.

But there was a shitload of things that Killua was obviously stepping out his comfort zone to do, just to please Gon. It made him feel a bit uneasy and uncomfortable, yet with such a sweet angel at his side…. _How could Killua complain?_

Well he COULD complain, about the hulking security guard right in front of them looked more ready to murder Killua and splatter his bloody severed skull all over the concrete rather than let him in to the party.

Which made Killua even more fearful as Gon clarified, "He's my plus one." He waved his Hunter's license in the air as if doing so would miraculously shoo the guard away from them.

The buff man stared at Killua suspectly. He clenched his knuckles together forcing them to make an intense cracking sound, then made his neck do the exact same thing. His small deadly black eyes narrowing as they seemed to shrink even more intimately in his skull. The guard shifted around, walking over from blocking the door in.

Letting out a grunt, giving Gon a slight nod of approval, "Your Hunter license is good." The guard pointed at Killua. "He looks like a wanted cold blooded killer."

"Who me?" Killua squeaked out. Any other day he would attack the security guard and body slam him to the ground, then tase the buff man to death with his own weapon. But for reason of still trying to play it cool with Gon, Killua resisted. He decided to play the clueless card.

"You." The guard repeated, "You are, Killua Zoldyck." He yanked Killua's shirt up roughly, forcing the 16 year old to make direct contact with him menacingly.

"Pfff.." Killua unleashed a load of spit out the side of his mouth. Rolling his eyes he tried to mash a name from the first objects his eyes fell on: an old rundown billboard that said, ' **Vote Leorio for Hunter chairman'** a black belt, Gon's smile, the concrete, then back to the deep wrinkles on the security guard's gravely aggressive face.

 _Damn.._ He didn't find any good objects to form a name out of! What type of name would even be possible combined from those stupid things? Why did he have such bad luck when choosing shit to look at?

Killua opened his mouth ready to lie his ass off saying, "I am actually, NOT HIM." He let a nervous smile slip on his face. Putting his hands up innocently he decided to use his old fall back name, "I am, Mr. Cssyck."

"I never heard of a last name with no vowels." The guard said sternly. But he did surprisingly loosen his grip on Killua's shirt a bit. The older man acted like he didn't want to believe him, since his good sense taught him otherwise, but what his ears heard presented a different story so the man was obviously confused.

Being the sly bastard that he was, Killua planned to prey off the insecurity and exploit it for all it was worth. So he pushed the guard off of him roughly, then brushed off his shirt. "I said my name is Mr. Cssyck. When most people hear that, they get on their knees and kiss my feet." He flipped his white hair, letting the strands naturally reflect the sunlight giving the illusion of an angel halo over his head.

"Is that so?" The security seemed to be baffled. He was slightly confused and caught off guard at the same time. (It was funny really, A guard caught off GUARD..)

Killua let out a stuck up huff, "Oh...You _haven't_ heard?"

"Well…" A look of hesitation came over the man's face. His wrinkles became more evident as his face scrunched up together, "Of course I heard."

It was funny to watch how people would lie just to be included and feel like they had knowledge of things. Killua enjoyed making a joke out of people the most.

"Then you should know WHO I AM." Killua announced his voice booming, "I am commonly mistaken for Mr. Zoldyck. But we are nothing alike. This here is my soon-to-be husband." He raised up Gon's hand and pressed a warm kiss on his knuckles. "Now think about this logically." He briefly raised his tender lips from gliding over Gon's creamy flesh, "Would a fellow who kills Hunters be able to date Hunter who is son of Ging Freecss? Take that into consideration, my good man."

Anyone could see the intense thinking the security guard started doing as he pondered over if this was really the truth or not. It was taking too long for Killua's liking so he clapped his hands together, rushing the man. He was shaken up and frazzled as he moved out the way, unhooking the velvet rope to let them inside.

Gruffly speaking, "Yes, s-sir.. Mr. Cssydck." He looked at Gon saying, "You and your date, go have a good time tonight."

Gon clicked his tongue as he sneakily darted his eyes up to his lover. Killua had to hold back a peppered laugh. They walked inside, hand and hand with each other.

Passing through the door threshold was like entering another dimension. Killua and Gon weren't sure what to expect at first.

There was music blasting, lights spinning above them like a disco. Tables full of nothing but, gallons of soda, juice, tequila, vodka, gin—Almost as if someone had robbed a liquor store. Drunks were laughing and dancing. Some couples or random strangers were in the dark corners kissing.

The whole place was jammed pack full of people. That explained the heavy smell of sweat and weed mixed in the air.

It made Killua feel really stuff and compact together…. and…

Shakily Killua found himself straining to inhale as he locked up his arm with Gon's. He held down their hands together tighter. Nonverbally begging Gon not to stray so far away from him, ' _Don't go too far. I don't wanna lose you two.'_

A smile slipped on Gon's face as he rubbed Killua's hand. He was doing his best to make his lover less anxious, "You'll be fine. We'll search for my dad together." Humming lightly he murmured, "This is what we came here for, we don't have to dance if you don't want to."

"That's.. not what I was asking for.." Killua murmured lowly. He spoke softly so Gon didn't hear his complaints about doing this.

Still he appreciated Gon's movements to accommodate him. As he felt Gon start to tug him through a crowd, Killua followed behind quickly not wanting to lag and get lost in the sea of people.

Gon walked around avoiding the dance floor, then looped in a circle deciding it was best not to ask a stoner about where his dad was. He navigated the haze of gray that danced all about some woman smoking a joint and humping a lamp.

"They act more like children than adults." Gon murmured softly. Licking his lips he backed away to avoid being twerked on by some horny bunch of people.

Killua gave them a stern look, signaling if they try that shit again he might have to bust a cap in them. No one touched Gon without _his_ permission. No one gets intimate with Gon, unless it was Killua.

Narrowing his pasty blue eyes, Killua took a deep breath of smoke in through his nose. The smell making his head begin to pound slightly, as he found himself cursing. "Damn it.. let's get out of here, sunshine. This stuff isn't good for anyone." He rocked forward yanking Gon back. Telling him off, "Did you hear me?"

"Yes. I am following. Gosh, don't pull so hard!" Gon whined in a frustrated tone.

"I wouldn't have to, if you would calm down." Killua hissed back, jolting Gon over a bit.

The taller male deciding to take control as he navigated them away from the smoking zone. Dodging a few socialists asshole elites who were sniffing and raising their nose above the wild riots. They slipped into the shadows creeping over along the walls until they hit a quiet calm zone in the mid-back.

It was like a dead zone, were drinks were still present but the drunks had decreased steadily. Killua got a relief wave wash over him as he loosened up his tight grip on Gon. Telling him, "This is better."

Nodding slowly, Gon agreed. "I'm going to go and talk to some people about Ging."

 _Gon let go of Killua's hand for a quick second._

The instant it happened Killua's eyes went wide almost tearful and childish like a little kid who lost their mom in a store. A terrible feeling built up in his stomach from butterflies twirling around as he saw Gon walk up and talk to a girl in front of them.

It was really immature, especially when Killua could plainly see Gon right in front of him. Still his hand felt so cold and trembled feeling lonely without Gon's touch. Allow sparks of insecurity to blossom into a real threat. _A threat to himself._

Killua didn't handle expressing his _personal_ feelings well. It was easy to do when he was with Gon.

 _Killua was USED TO Gon._

Every inch of Killua wanted to open his mouth and scream. It felt like his throat was on fire. His whole entire body felt hot, as if he was placed in a deep fryer. All the music now flooding his ears, only made him paranoid for someone who might run up on him.

 _Too many people._

 _TOO MANY PEOPLE._

Killua's brain suddenly refused to respond to any lick of his common sense left. He found himself almost Franken Stein stiff walking towards Gon. His arms were out with his white hair blocking his stormy blue orbs, as bodies bounced against and all around him.

Almost sexily people were rubbing against him. A woman running her nails down the tip of his chin to the base of his neck. Her girlfriend strutting beside him almost mockingly. They both laughed at his misery.

The sounds of their obnoxious high pitched squealing made Killua push them both back aggressively. He hollered, "Leave me alone!" It came out like a sad plea.

He blinked rapidly trying to adjust his sight away from them, but the lady who was chatting with Gon had vanished along with him. The sight of the empty space made Killua let out a troubled whine, "No." He pouted only to pause drastically, when he felt someone tap on his shoulder.

"Hey, you don't look so good." A man came up to him. He offered out a cup in his hand, "This should relax you."

If Killua would have been listening to his good sense he would have never taken a drink from a stranger. But since his throat was burning, and his head was throbbing, he was desperate for an ice cold drink of water.

Taking the cup he eyes the clear liquid only for a few seconds before he chugging the whole thing. It went down a little too easily, hitting the back of his throat the liquid burned only for a second before easing the pain completely.

"W-whaat? What is.. is _this_?" Killua questioned. For some reason his head started to swim even more as if he was suddenly becoming tipsy.

"Do you like it?"

"It taste like.. Sprite.. and umm.. something."

"I can make you another."

" _Please_." Killua spoke out hoarsely. He kept his head down as the man grabbed his wrist dragging him away from the crowd. All he managed to follow was the direction as well as the man's shoes.

The man had stopped at the table full of drinks. He was mixing up a bunch of shit that Killua didn't care to read the labels on. All that mattered was when the man handed Killua that wonderful miracle working drink.

Without hesitation Killua drank it all again, again, again…. each full cup he ensured there wasn't a drop left.

For some reasons the more he drank the more the music didn't matter, the more people that touched him failed to bother him, the more the feeling of fear completely deserted him.

It wasn't until Killua was barely able to place his cup on the table for another round, that the man who lead him over seemed to get hesitant.

"Are you sure, you can handle another?" The man asked shakily. He appeared to be partly drunk himself. Reaching over he pushed Killua's cup away, "I think 5 is more than enough, ki-"

"IM N-NOOOOOT A KID!" Killua thundered loudly, the rush of all the movements around getting him excited. His blue confused eyes darted around, as if trying to figure out why the damn world appeared to be spinning so fast around him. He pushed his cup forward more forcefully urging, "I _want_ some more."

"No way, you're drunk as a skunk." The man retorted, this time he knocked Killua's empty plastic cup to the ground.

In a matter of seconds, _he_ was on the ground.

Bloody leaked down from his contorted messed up face, as dark almost menacing blue eyes glared down at him. Killua's pale first were now covered in red, as he jumped on top of the man. He shoved his fist in the older male's face while he screamed at the top of his lungs.

Mercilessly Killua screamed louder, "I always get what I want! I said I WANT ANOTHER DRINK. GET ME, ANOTHER DRINK YOU DUMB FUCK!" With each word he slammed a powerful fist into the already half beaten to death man's body.

A crowd of spectators formed around them. Some cheering and laugh, while clapping and chanting Killua on. Others were freaking out and crying for help, and to get someone to infer and break up this fight…

 _Well more like a massacre._

Killua didn't hesitate to keep knocking the man out. He allowed him to fade in and out of consciousness, only to make the pain hurt even more. Blood flew up from the man's broken nose and splattered all over Killua's dark black shirt, that seemed to feed the 16 year old's natural killer ego even more.

It sent him into total attack mode. If Killua wasn't drunk, he probably would have been more cautious, he would have actually cared about the crowd. Yet right now nothing mattered but demolishing his prey and showing them who was on top of the food chain.

WHO CALLED THE SHOTS?

"ME! And only me!" Killua let out a thrilling cold laughter. He threw his hands up eagerly, "I am the best! There is none other like Killua Zoldyck."

"Killua Zoldyck!?" His name echoed in horror through the crowd. Most people stared at him in absolute disgust, other looked at him with fear in their eyes.

At the moment, Killua didn't really care. He kept on smirking dastardly and chuckling into the air.

Until he heard voice that sounded vaguely familiar repeat his nickname, "Kil?"

The sound of it made Killua's ears twitch as he perked up looking around. For some weird reason a lump formed in his throat as he watched the crowd of people get pushed around to reveal two tall bodies into the clearing near him. Seeing the two of their faces, one with long shaggy black hair and the other with hot red, he found himself able to put names on them quickly.

Jumping to his feet, Killua found himself washed up in terror. "Don….N'nntsstt! Come an….ana-aany closer!" He choked out, his drunken stance was sloppy as much as his blurry vision.

"See, I told you!" Long slender fingers pointed at him in shame, "I KNEW HE WOULD BE HERE!" A cocky almost taunting voice bragged, "Do you believe me now?"

"Hisoka, I never truly believe a word anyone says."

"Well you followed me out here for a reason, didn't you?"

"I came here to find my brother." A strong hand reached out and pulled Killua over to the owner. Killua would recognize that rough grip and heartless black eyes anywhere. There was only one person he knew who owned such a syrup like voice….

Letting out a chilled squeak, "Illumi." Killua recoiled up as if wanting to shrink into a ball and disappear forever.

Illumi looked at Killua emotionless, "You've had your fun, now haven't you? Time to say goodbye to all your little friends." He waved to everyone giving a sarcastic, "Bye-bye."

"I… I.. I...caaa- an't...!" Killua found himself shouting. He started to jump up and down, in attempt to wiggle Illumi's grip from off of him. He swung his arms around wildly, just to separate some space between him and his older brother.

The 16 year old wasn't sure how Illumi or Hisoka got here or how long they'd been here. Killua just assumed that Kalluto had called them a few days ago when he ran into him and Gon at the hotel. (It seemed like some trick ass thing Kalluto would do...)That didn't matter, all that mattered was getting the hell out of here right now.

Breathing heavily, Killua glared daggers at those two. He raised his fist, shaking it at them threatening their death if they interfered anymore. "I can't leave Gon and the ba-baby. I _can't_.. I can't..!" He slurred, his body swaying a bit.

"Oh don't worry." Hisoka grinned maliciously, "Gon will be plenty entertained in a fight with me. I'll make sure he gets his just desserts." He took a step closer.

Killua took like 15 steps back uttering, "Nooot Gon." He jabbered out. He shook his head trying to will Illumi and Hisoka away. Maybe there were hallucinations, that could be gone into thin air. Or maybe they were just figures from his jumbled up brain trying to screw with him.

Heck, Killua was so drunk, he didn't even remember where he was right now. Everywhere he ran and turned he saw people. Plenty of people blocking his way, who he rudely shoved to the ground as he took off at top speeds. He couldn't tell where he was running but anywhere that was far enough from Illumi and Hisoka to lose him was good enough.

"Pssss… Hey, Killua." A feminine voice called out. She reached out and tugged on his shirt.

The action alone was enough to make Killua lurch back and let out a fearful trill. But he was immediately silenced by her hand over his mouth as she pulled him into a dark side of the room.

The woman was steady shushing him, "It's me! It's Machi! Remember?" She pulled on her stands of pink hair giving a gentle reminder, "I am the same lady from the store."

Blinking his glossy eyes, Killua assumed this was a kissing corner since a bunch of couples were making out right in front of him. He somehow managed to find his voice asking, "How do you abo..uuut the lalallalaaady at the store?"

"I was the lady at the store!"

"Nuuuhhh, you look younger. Like less old…"

"Look do you want to find, Gon or not?"

"How d-dd..do you know this?"

"You two are always together right?" Machi removed her hand from over Killua's mouth telling him. "You have to find Gon. The boss, needs to see both of you."

"The boss?" The vague title sounded oddly familiar to Killua. Yet through all the alcohol in his system he couldn't put a face to it.

"Yes, now HUSH!" Machi commanded.

The voices of Illumi and Hisoka lingered in the air, as they passed by the dark corner. Thankfully they turned away in search of where Killua could have gone, their voice almost getting drowned out by the music the further away they drifted.

Once the coast was clear, Killua hiccuped out, "Why ar...are you helping me?"

"I already told you. I have a task. Plus Hisoka is an asshole, so I don't want Illumi and him to find you. Then luring Gon and you out here would have been for nothing." Machi huffed. She shrugged her shoulders carelessly, walking around Killua as if inspecting him.

Killua was breathing heavily, noticeable sweat beads trickling down his forehead. His eyes adjusted to the dim lighting and caught view of Machi's serous expression. It was stern and almost uncaring, like she didn't care what really happened to him after he served his purpose to her goal.

For some reason that made Killua laugh a bit, he pointed at her, "You're not a Hunter. Hehhee! If you were, you would, hehe..Haha-have some stupid happy fulfilled smile on your face. You're a criminal… like me…"

"That's none of your business." Machi flicked some of her sloppy pink hair up. Crossing her arms under her chest she pointed in the opposite direction Hisoka and Illumi ran, "But where Gon is, that's your business." With her other hand she pushed Killua forward, "Go there and make a left. Last time I saw he was, chatting with some man about you."


	16. Don’t shake the embryo Gon! (16)

So many things were roaring through Killua's head as he pushed past all the people in the party. Some yelled and cursed at him, and Killua just punched them in the face.

Killua punched them real _hard_ — like he was punching out that stupid man from the bar all over again.

He didn't know why his mind was thinking of the homophobic asshole at the bar. Maybe because Killua wished he could kill him. If he had a time machine, Killua figured he'd definitely go back and kill him.

A voice yelled out, "Man! Watch where ya going! You almost made me spill my fucking drink." Flicking up the middle finger he snarled, "What the fuck are you imagining?"

What Killua was imagining is playing ' _Call of Duty: WW2_ ' and he was on a shooting spree. He was fucking dropping goddamn Nazi Zombies and sending them straight to hell where they belonged.

"Stupid Nazi zombie!" Killua screamed at the top of his lungs. "You and your stupid shit makes me sick. You fucking Neo-nazi! Imma kill you."

The man looked awestruck that Killua had said such a thing to him and a bunch of people looked at Killua like he was a crazy person.

" _Sonvunabitch"_

 _"Madman"_

 _"Psycho nen user from hell"_

It didn't matter, Killua had heard it all before. He needed to calm down and find Gon.

His mind going, _'Get him… get him…Where was he supposed to be going again_?'

"Uhh.." Killua groaned as he pressed his hands up on his head. From some reason, all the blood in his body was rushing south the more he thought about Gon.

Each thought was spurred on by dirty sights, like these two girls making out in the corner, a bunch of boys slapping each other asses, even some lucky dude getting boatload of ass twerked on him, with four hoes just throwing thicc.

Too many things clouded Killua's good sense even more, while following the path he was sent out upon. He could barely recall what he was supposed to warn Gon about or what he was supposed to be avoiding. In fact, it took high concentration for him to remember how to walk.

He staggered around out of control, bumping into people, then punching them to the ground. The tall boy swerved, making his fluffy white hair, flair around wildly as his blue lustful orbs shined under the dance floor light as he passed through. All the people partying like animals made his feet get a bit tripped up, trying to not step on top of one another.

"Killua!" A shocked confused voice cried out, soon as Killua stepped out of the mob of people and into the clearing. Warm friendly hands, embraced his face as their owner showered down questions, "Why did you leave me? Where have you been? How are you holding up? Why won't you say something?"

Killua paused, taking note of a short boy worrying over him. The pretty view of a bashful face, with a concerned smile and coffee toned eyes looking up at him, healed Killua's nerves. Eagerly Killua spoke, "Mmm, sunshine. I'm..I'm glad to see you again.. I was..aaah so scared. Scared of the Nazi Zombies." He leaned his head over to rest on Gon's shoulder.

Gon let out a slight laugh, "Killua, you scared?" He seemed to tease, "When does that ever happen to the silent but deadly one?"

Killua couldn't help but snort, as he started to laugh as well.

They were laughing and holding each other. Killua placed his arm on Gon's waist, almost seductively. Gon just rubbed his nose in Killua's soft hair enjoying the feel of it. Killua was delighted to have Gon near him again. It felt so nice to have his touch, to be able to lean on Gon and know they loved each other. No matter what happened at this stupid party, they could always find comfort with each other.

 _All that made sense in Killua's world was Gon._

 _And now that Gon was here, Killua felt his heart become complete again._

Unexpectedly, they started kissing. Both their mouth pulled together almost accidentally, but now that they were together there was no stopping them. There was just, Gon's body, Killua's body, their mouths.

Gruffly an annoyed, "Ahem.." was made rather loudly.

Gon moved away from Killua. He waved over to the angry sickly looking man in the corner.

"Who, the hell is pissed off hobo?" Killua snipped, unable to see the relationship at first.

He figured it must have been the alcohol, because on deeper inspection he started to second guess himself wondering if he was seeing double Gon's. Just the strange version of Gon was the hobo lookin one.

"My dad." Gon classified. He pointed back and forth between the man and him. "Ging, please meet the love of my life, Killua Zoldyck."

Ging's light brown eyes cut over to inspect Killua as if he was the devil himself. He pointed at Killua snapping, "You're the boy my son was ranting to me about?" He strolled up the 16 year old, as if ready to assert his dominance saying, "You're not so damn special."

Killua frowned slightly, he had to resist the urge to rocket punch Ging in the face. He sucked on his teeth, as he offered hand out, "I.. I.. can't say.. You're that special either.." Shaking Ging's hand, he shot daggers at him. Accusing, "You did leave your son for years."

At mention of that Ging seemed to stiffen up. His eyebrows knotting together sourly, "We all have our different parenting styles."

"THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF! NO WONDER YOUR WIFE LEFT YOU!" Killua shouted, clearly outraged.

"Killua!" Gon squealed almost baffled those words came out Killua's mouth.

"I'm juuuuuust telling it how it is!."

"How do you even know what we talked about?"

"I don't! But, he probably wawaa..nts to waltz back into your life and act all buddy-buuubuddy and crap. It makes me sick."

"People can change!"

"I don't care! He's just being a pain in the ass."

Ging shrugged his shoulders, "Yeah, I guess I actually have been for the past couple of years." He spoke the words out almost regretfully, "But now is like my chance to redeem myself. Grandparents are always nicer to their grandchildren than their kids, right?"

That's when Killua started screeching incoherently, "NO! NO! HELL NO! NO! NOT EVER! YOU STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY KID!" He took up Gon's hands and pulled him over a few steps away. "YOU STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY UNBORN CHILD!"

"Killua! What is your problem?" Gon fired the words out of his mouth. The pregnant boy getting agitated at his lover's crazy behavior.

"I don't… I.." Killua's voice wavered as he looked at the ticked off expression on Gon's face. For some reason that made him feel really rotten inside. So he corrected, "I.. I dooo..doon't like him."

Gon raised an eyebrow, "You just met him."

"That does not cha-change the fact I dislik..like..lilil.." Killua rolled his tongue. Getting side tracked he started to enjoy the weird feel of rolling his tongue against the roof of his mouth. Laughing to himself, he switched up. Leaning forward prompting, "Feeel, this."

Then Gon felt his back pressed against the wall, and Killua's lips fell on his own. They were kissing again. Killua's hand feeling downwards as he felt Gon's hands meet his neck to pull their mouths closer. It allowed Killua's tongue to slip inside Gon's warm tavern and roll against the roof of it.

On contact Gon groaned huskily, "Oh I feel something alright." His body reacting without him thinking as he nibbled lightly on the tip of Killua's tongue.

 _That always drove Killua wild._

Forcefully Killua's finger grabbed Gon's black silky hair, holding him in place against the wall. "I think.. Thiink, I need to tell you, you.. Something imporrrrtan..tan." He began to grind his knee between Gon's thighs.

Gon's thighs were getting bigger…. so were his hips, _that was good_.

"Yes, whaaahaa, it is?" Gon asked, feeling the ground disappear from beneath his feet as Killua scooped him up.

The taller male was stroking down Gon's sides, rustling his clothes up as he felt down. It was a familiar feeling, Killua had each bump and dip of Gon's body memorized by now. Still Killua would always get a thrill from exploring it. Especially since every passing day, their child was growing inside of Gon.

In deep thought, Killua paused in his administration's to Gon's body. "I don't remember." He spoke out perplexed. "I feel like.. It.. it was, really important."

"Mmm, don't worry about it. I know you'll think of.." Gon licked his lips. He started thinking about the weird flavor in his mouth. It wasn't there before… the strong taste of almost sweetness and… a flavor he couldn't yet name.

Jabbing at Gon's nips, "Boop!" Killua cheered as if dialing up on a cellphone. "Haha! ha!"

"What the heck?" Gon almost jumped out of his own damn skin at first. Chills got sent down his spine as soon as contact was made briefly through the shirt. He made a groan as Killua's thumbs rolled over them once more, "Killua…? That's on my..!"

"Sorry. It's.. it.. Itsssss, ju-just.. Just out there," Killua stumbled a bit, words slurring. He cat walked goofy around his lover. "Mmmm~my sweetie." He licked his lips.

That was when Gon caught the heavy amount of alcohol in his breath. At first his brain couldn't make sense of it. Killua would never drink. Heck, Killua didn't do drugs or smoke or none of that shit. How the heck was Killua drunk? Why was Killua drunk? He figured this made sense to match with Killua's newly blunt behavior.

Reaching his hand up, Gon ruffled his lover's hair. "Killua… you're not right. Who did this to you?" He cooed out softly.

Giving a clearly drunk laugh, Killua squeezed Gon's perked up nips again. "You like it don't you~?" His words fell out his mouth sing-song like and slurred.

Gon let out a surprised yelp, "Killua! Sss-stop that! I asked you a question!" He tried to say more but his throat felt numb.

Killua was grinning like an idiot, the boy reaching over for the nearest table. He grabbed the closest opened bottle and brought it to his lips. Eagerly tasting the flavor of the Spite mixed with vodka stinging as it gushed down, burning every inch of the way. It seemed to send even more power through his bones.

"Killua! Don't drink that!" Gon shouted. He gave Killua punishing slap on the hand. "They could have mixed that with anything! Is this where you've been? You were drinking that?"

Shaking the plastic bottle, Killua couldn't help but roll his eyes. Playfully he slumped over, pushing the drink up Gon's lips he urged, "Try soooomeeee, it.. It taste good. It is soooo goood, Gon. You won't be..eee upset anymore."

"No!" The black haired boy shook his head furiously. He moved away from Killua, planting his own two feet back on the ground.

"Awee, why not?"

"Because, I'm pregnant! That's why! Plus drinking and smoking fucks up your head! You know this!"

"GooOOOOOn! You HUUUUuurrt MEEEEEEeeehh!" Killua cried out over dramatically. He seemed to be shouting over the music just to extra ensure Gon heard him. The boy threw up his hands hollering, "Don't you love me anymore? Whhhyyy….? Is it the propopopophhaanddaa? PROPAGANDA DATS USELESS!" His voice was cut off and extremely choppy.

It seemed to be causing a scene as some of the people in the party turned to look at them. They weren't really shocked but easily Gon heard them whispering, "It must be so hard dating someone who gets tipsy." Another person was all like, "He's a lightweight. They ruins all the fun when they get drunk."

Gon huffed, "Look. No one is hurting you, Killua!" He spun around as if to show what a harmless environment they were in.

"You hit meeeeee. Then yelllllleeeed at me! Why would you yell at me?"

"To make you stop."

"The N—aaaazi Zombies must have bit you! THEY BIT MY BABY BOY! I'm.. In.. I.. aah!"

"Killua! What are you TALKING ABOUT?"

Killua must not have liked the tone of voice. "AHHhhrrdeewww!" He let out an inhuman cry of some sorta as he stomped his feet.

"This is just so amazing.." Gon muttered under is breath, "Now I have two babies to take care of." He locked his hand into Killua's, ready to guide the drunk boy far away from the party and all this madness.

He scanned over the crowd, looking at Ging who was now talking to Knuckles. Gon figured he could just go other there and inform him that they would have to be leaving now.

Yet soon as he took a couple of steps over there, some man bleeding to death crawled through the crowd. He was frantically pointing at Killua, and was screaming at the top of his lungs, "Security! It ww-aaaas him! Tha...thaaat bastard did..diddd..iid this to me!" He let out a few sobs speaking, "His name is Killua Z-zzzoooldyck!"

"Arrest Killua Zoldyck!" A police screamed raising his taser at the highly intoxicated boy.

Gon pulled Killua away screaming, "No!" He took off running in the opposite direction, with Killua's hand in his own.

"Hunt down them both! Don't let them flee and vanish in the night!" The head security guard bellowed over all the loud music.

All the crowds of people seemed to part at the sight of them running through. It might have been the blood on Killua's shirt or the terrified expression on Gon's face as they fought to escape the police oppression after them.

Killua yanked his hand away from Gon. The taller male seeming to get more childish as he put his hands up hollering, "DON'T.. D..OOON'T HURT HIM! Gon… Gon didn't DO ANYTHING! I'm.. Im the one you WANT!" He whined for a few seconds only to discover that wasn't going to stop the police from firing at the one he loved.

The cringing sound of rapid fire built up his temper as well as added fuel to his already pissed off attitude.

Narrowing his blue eyes he decided to take a more darker course murmuring, "Alright you Nazi zombie bastardssssss wanna..wannazz fiigh-tsss. "

Killua ducted away into the crowd, for some reason his brain kept replaying the same figure of clips:

 _Man at the bar_

 _Man spills drink on Gon._

 _And at this point Killua's blood was boiling and he was ready to murder some crazy Nazi Zombies_.

Everywhere he looked all he heard was screaming as he ran by. So he started using his sharp nails to slash through chests leaving a trail of crimson red behind him.

Gon howled, "NO! KILLUA WHAT THE.." He let out a grunt of displeasure.

What the actual FUCK was Killua doing? Why the hell was Killua thinking he was in a video game?

Stupid.

Alcohol.

There was a terrified screech of, "He's going to destroy the power!"

"I'll stop hi—" A hero seemed to be chopped down in the middle of his words.

"STAY AWAY FROM HIM! HE'S INSANE!" A person yelled.

Another declared a more inspirational thing, "But aren't we all Hunters here? If we team up we should be able to TAKE HIM!"

There was more yelling and some declaration of power moves, which all sounded like a roar in everyone's ears as the party place turned into a slaughterhouse.

Each flicker of the lights drove people even more wild. They didn't know where to run with shots being fired off in every direction—it was pure panic.

Until the once shining disco ball and fancy overhanging lights SHUT OFF FOR GOOD.

That was when Gon's heart started pounding loudly in his chest, all he could think of was, ' _Killua! Killua…. Killua_!' He pushed past some people running for the exits.

Searching through the nasty chunks of human flesh that had been ripped apart like an animal did it out of rage rather than an overpowered 16 year old, Gon knew he was on the right track. His foot brushing up against decapitated heads, and crunching on fingers ripped off the hand almost ready to serve like french fries.

However that wasn't what was making Gon's stomach churn, it was the smell! The terrible stench of too much blood in the air, it made Gon start to feel sick as his his legs trembled with unwillingness to keep going.

Yet inspiration came to him, with the lights off Gon's hazel brown eyes could barely adjust to the brightness produced shining sparks oozing off Killua's body.

 _The insane blue electric sparks bouncing off the wall hinting at all Killua's good sense fading away_.

A parade of dead bodies lined the area around Killua. All death by the similar method: choking. Even one with an electric wire leaving burn marks around their neck.

"Killua… what have you done?" Gon uttered breathlessly.

Bone chilling laughter echoed in the air, fear like little spiders just crawled up Gon's spine, as he caught sight of Killua resting in the pool blood of his latest victim.

"Haha! HAHA! HAAAAHHAA!" Killua crackled. His smug expression spreading his overwhelming ego to all who watched him. Bringing his long nails to his mouth he used his tongue to delicately lick the delicious red substance off them, until submerging his fingers in his mouth entirely. He crunched on them saying, "S-sun..Sunshine, what are.. are you waiting for, there's plenty to indulge in."


	17. Don’t shake the embryo Gon! (17)

**Warning: Suicidal thoughts/actions.** **This is the darkest chapter.**

* * *

Gon found himself throwing up all over again. His whole entire body jerked forward and spilled his dinner on the floor.

Damn it...he needed to get Killua out of here. _Not... DO THIS_!

Yet his stomach wasn't willing to cooperate with his motives. Tears stung his eyes with every breath he dared the take, he _kept on_ throwing up.

 _Gon felt so sick…_

 _This place suddenly felt so hot…_

Gon felt more embarrassed than anything. People some who were running had probably heard him puking up his guts. Gon didn't like having stressful moments in front of people.

Killua actually seemed to spring into action, he ran to Gon's side. He started rubbing his back and telling him everything was going to be alright. The whole entire light show had disappeared from around his body.

 _Gon felt discombobulated._

There was an expensive 1,000 yen worth meal resting on the floor now. Gon couldn't even hold down dinner. With his brown eyes watering soberly at the waist of money, he silently mouthed the word, "Failure."

Killua's hands tensed as they rode up and down Gon's back. He murmured, "I can buy you mm..oooreee..mmm~ food. We need..need.. to-ooo get out of here…. So you can lay down."

"We don't have money to waist like this or TIME!" Gon's brown eyes gazed up at Killua like he'd lost his mind. "WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?"

"LIKE..LIKE W-what?" Killua stumbled out.

"You.. were just a few seconds ago.." Gon actually found his own self confused. "Is this why...you dipped on your family? Did they do something to you? Maybe a weird experiment on your body that's why they're after us. And.. and…" Gon's words became incoherent as he grew numb.

Killua moved Gon over, hugging him. The white haired male whispering harshly his ear, "Listen to yourself now. You're talking _madness_. I've _always_ just been myself, baby boy..."

For some reason Killua's words sent _chills_ down Gon's spine.

Gon shook his head. He pulled away from Killua trying to clear his mind, he had to think positively.

 _For the baby's sake_.

"Home." Gon found himself speaking, "I wanna go home."

Killua let out a delusional laugh, "Ha! Baby boy, we just GOT HERE. Hehe.. The fun is just kicking up is it not?" He flinged a spark from his finger right into a police officer's head who was running up behind them.

Gon looked at Killua somberly. Unable to tell him what he really meant which was that he wanted to go and forget about THIS.

Gon really wanted to say, " _Home. My home. I want Whale Island Home. I want to run back to Aunt Mito and cry in her arms. I want to hear her voice again tell me everything's okay._ " Still he knew if he said it, he'd sound too sappy.

Softly Gon gave a grunt, " _Yes._ " He stole a look at the lights waving all around them.

 _The cops probably closing in._

Killua shifted on his feet uttering, "I should just murder all the bastards then blow this building up from the inside out. Use an atomic bomb. Would have been quicker… I guess I'm not us—"

"Used to me being so unreliable." Gon finished for him. His eyes glittering with more stored up emotions as he swallowed down his hurt pride.

"No!" Killua ushered out quickly. "You're..." Biting his lips he searched for the proper word, " _fragile_." He gave Gon a light playful punch on the arm, "Not like overly delicate...not like any of that shit.. I mean, _fuck._ You know I can't, Gon.. I'm not… trashing you. I don't know a good word to use." The 16 year old started to ramble covering up his speech errors.

Gon didn't respond because all he could do was just stand there, listen and breath. All he could do was take in the sounds of people in the noisy venue, take in how the floor smelled like ass, blood and puke.

Heck, Gon didn't even respond immediately when he heard a voice call his name. Nothing was making sense anymore… Not even Killua seemed to make sense.. Killua was making him unsure and confused and…. why was Killua being so sweet and comforting now? No less than 10 seconds ago, Killua was dropping bodies.

"Gon!" His name was repeated over and over again, "GON GON GON GON!" A bright light shined over at his and Killua's direction. The figure pointing the phone flashlight at them was,

"KNUCKLES!" Gon caught sight of him and breathed out a sigh of relief.

There was the cavalry,

Knuckles,

Ging,

Biscuit?

 _Hold on what was Biscuit doing…._

AND THE POLICE?!

"No…" Gon spoke out softly shaking his head rapidly his black locks bounced around.

Knuckles gave him a thumbs up, "Don't worry, we got back-up just in case!"

"NO!" Gon cried out a little louder, "KILLUA IS FINE NOW! HE WON'T HURT ANYONE IT WAS A MISTAKE! A simple accident..."

"A mistake…?" Knuckles looked at the destruction all around him, "Who kills people by a _mistake_?"

Gon started to open his mouth to put up some line of defense but Ging did it for him saying, "Hey! Hey I don't know what's going on here. But that's my son and his boyfriend over there, so Imma need y'all to get yourself together and…"

A few shots rang out by the cops saying, "SIR, WE GONNA NEED YOU TO SHUT UP AND LET US DO OUR JOB!"

"Well I'm going to need ya to shut up and NOT HURT MY SON!" Ging roared slamming a few of their guns down and threatening unleashing some of his nen. "BECAUSE IF YOU TOUCH MY SON WERE GONNA HAVE A PROBLEM." He growled out threateningly.

"Here! Here!" Biscuit ran over and grabbed Gon by his arm.

Killua looked ready to beat the crap out of her. His blue eyes flashed with malice as his nails sharpened his lips curved down in a deep frown. He raised his hand threateningly and that's when Gon screamed, "RUN!"

Biscuit spun on her heels, her blond hair almost getting cut by Killua's impulsive movements. The woman took Gon along with her as she dodged a deadly slice to her neck.

Biscuit snapping, "Killua! Don't make me go transmuted form on you!" She hollered as she tugged Gon back near her protectively. "Just give yourself up and no one will get hurt."

Menacing blue orbs darkened as Killua's voice changed husky and monstrous. "Gon.. how could you do this to me..?" His nen exploded around him in blue sparkling zaps of high voltage as he screamed, "YOU SET ME UP!"

"Killua.. listen to me, _please!_ " Gon croaked out barely able to control his tone, "I didn't know they had followed me!"

Confused the blonde haired woman tugged on Gon's shirt to get him to move further away from Killua. Biscuit muttering, "You don't know what you're talking about, Gon. Killua isn't like _US_ anymore."

"What?"

"He's killed countless amounts of Hunters making him an enemy! If you confess to working with him, you'll be charged as well."

"WORKING WITH HIM? KILLUA IS.. HE.." Gon strained his neck to look at where Killua was once standing. Now it appeared the 16 year old had disappeared at lightning speed to some other part.

Knuckles pointed to the trail of blue and shouted, "Follow me!" As he started to lead the cops in a new direction after their target.

"Please! No! Killua... he can't _help_ himself sometimes! He'll _kill_ you!" Gon shouted after them. It was more of a plea for the cops lives since he figured Knuckles could actually stand a high chance of knocking Killua out which was making Gon even more nervous.

He tried to twist and fight away from Biscuit but she was hold him tightly scolding, "Gon Freecss! Do you care to explain what the hell has come over you both? I go away for a few years and come back to this?" She looked at Ging with disapproval, "Why can't you control your son?"

Ging shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know. I didn't even know he was dating Killua until a few hours ago! Hell, I didn't even know he was pregnant!"

"You're pregnant!?" Biscuit couldn't hold back the shock in her voice.

Gon held his breath for a few seconds before shakily responding, "Yeah…?"

"I knew a long time ago I should have filed a missing person report!"

"A missing what?"

"You should be in group home. With people who can actually take care of you prope-"

"GROUP HOME?" Gon found himself squealing out in shock.

He didn't understand where all this was coming from. He didn't know why the hell this Biscuit was trying to force this upon him. All he fucking knew was that he wasn't about to fucking stay in a fucking group home.

 _He couldn't have a baby in a fucking group home!_

Biscuit's voice seemed to change a little sympathetic, "It's just you need a parent to watch over you, Gon. You just can't run around here! Especially not with a dangerous criminal like Killua. The hospital doesn't have any visiting logs from Mito and…"

"HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT MY AUNT!" Gon found rage boiling up in his gut. Anger storming up in him at someone mentioning his Aunt's name without any signs of remorse.

"Calm down." Biscuit tried to relax him. "Look just tell the police, Killua was forcing you and we can get you and the baby out of..."

"KILLUA DID NOT FORCE ME TO DO ANYTHING!" Gon found himself screaming, "JUST LISTEN TO YOURSELF! KILLUA—DANGEROUS CRIMINAL? DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE IN YOUR MOUTH?"

"Gon…"

"You practically _raised_ Killua! You basically taught him how to fight! YOU MADE HIM WHO HE IS TODAY!"

"It was a _mistake_. I had no idea he came from a family of assassins." Biscuit shook her head sadly looking at the sea of dead bodies and feelings slightly responsible as she murmured, "These were innocent people."

"HOW CAN YOU SAY TEACHING KILLUA HOW TO IMPROVE HIS NEN WAS A MISTAKE?" Gon found himself on the verge of tears once more.

Biscuit ignored his question and proposed her own, "Where are you staying, Gon?" She clicked her tongue looking up at him, she seemed to be admiring how much taller Gon had gotten in comparison to her.

At first Gon was about to answer truthfully, then he paused.

He _should lie._

What if he lied and the police already knew their location? What if Biscuit was using reverse psychology and fucking with his mind? They probably already used his phone to track his location. THOSE SNEAKY BASTARDS!

Biscuit kept on smooth talking him saying, "You belong in a trusted guardian's custody. Just for now, Gon. Come on.. just for the baby..."

"I AM WITH A TRUSTED GUARDIAN!" Gon snapped back.

Biscuit's tone got cocky, "Oh yeah?" She pointed, "We KNOW it's NOT Ging. So other than him and Aunt Mito, WHO ELSE DO YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE?"

" _No one_ …" The voices in Gon's head started to chant on mildly, " _YOU HAVE NO ONE!_ "

Gon started humming and shook his head wildly yanking his arm away from Biscuit. He screamed, "JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" Then took off running, into the crowd.

He was just able to hear Biscuit cursing angrily at Ging, "This is why they made abortions and condoms for shitty people like you not to reproduce and create something like THAT!"

Gon didn't know why but he shoved past people trying to drown out the voices away in his mind, then trying to erase what he heard Biscuit say to Ging. Yet he figured it was true—MAYBE HE WAS A MISTAKE!

 _His whole life on huge joke and mistake that should have NEVER happened..._

Gon followed the sounds of absolutely turmoil again and snagged Killua by the neck before he could outrun him. He wasn't in the mood for Killua's meltdown anymore.

Killua must have seen that because his face paled as his blue orbs saw the dark nen encasing Gon's body. Killua figured that was what was making Gon move fast enough to keep up.

"Killua.. come on let's go. What's wrong with you?" Gon's choke hold around Killua tightened as he snarled, "What's your problem? Get yourself together, we're leaving." He motioned for them to blend in with the crowd and take off.

Some people under attack who scattered away were running around like chickens with their heads cut off. he sound of bullets hit the air. The powerful force broke some of the wine bottles, spilling the slippery substance onto the floor.

Also the sound of everything going hectic must have scared Killua since the drunk boy flinched at every loud sound, pulling Gon closer to him. Which made it really hard for Gon to focus and run with Killua trying to pull him into a bear hug.

At first the action confused Gon. He didn't understand why Killua was holding onto him for dear life, until he looked over Killua's shoulder. Out of the side of his eyes he caught Hisoka and Illumi chasing after them too. The sight made Gon scream, "Where the heck did they come from?"

"Th-eeyy.. That.. isss what I was goonaa tell you." Killua informed Gon. "My brother and Hisoka are here. And the zombie….Nazis…zombies.. we're all gonna die….Because they'll kill us…."

"I CAN SEE THAT NOW! WAIT? WHAT NAZIS?!'

"We can dit...ditch the bitches. I'll kill da Nazis."

"Heh?" Gon said in shock as he looked at the two main entrances at the front were sealed up tight. He darted his eyes around yet was still unable to see a window that might prove to be any tactical escape.

Killua pulled away from Gon, he took a few steps back. Not drifting close enough to where his brother and Hisoka were, but lingered so he could compile all the options there was around him. He then saw out the corner of his eye a way to break out this hell hole.

"I'm.. pulll...! Or I'll.. I'll…" Killua flickered around spinning in confusion. As he rushed over to his salvation of freedom from the constraint holding them within this pit of destitute. "I'll pull the fire alarm!"

"Don't you dare!" Gon yelped at the sight as he glanced away from the door to see the firm determination embedded on Killua's face. "I swear...Killua! You're drunk you're not thinking right! You're thinking about Nazis zombies. Gosh, get some brain cells! If you pull the alarm lots of people will be trampled aliv-"

"I don't care abou..oooooouuut other people!" Killua shouted at the top of his lungs, "I definitely don't care about no damn Hunters, or zombie Nazis! They don't matter.." His hand found its way on the lever, as he looked up at Gon compassionately, blowing a kiss. "You're the _only_ thing in the world that matters."

"I am…?" Gon questioned softly, then his heart started racing as he watched Killua pull down the fire alarm. His brown eyes going wide as he watched the scene around him explode into complete chaos.

There was an uproar of crazy rioting as the front door burst open from people wanting to escape. Somehow Gon found himself getting swept up in the crowd, he was drifting around being shoved from all sides until he met the crisp moonlight of the outside world.

Yet his eyes were steadily searching for, "Killua!" Gon screamed at the top of his lungs. He hollered more wildly, "Killua! KILLUA! KILLUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

A blur of white seemed to come in all directions and Gon didn't know who it belonged to. Still he reached out for it. Gon started grabbing everything and everyone in the large bunch of people. The pregnant boy was yelling at them bitterly, demanding, "Did you see where, Killua went? Did you see where my boyfriend went?"

Till a woman told him, "Look over there. A boy with white hair and blue eyes is about to jump from that window."

Gon looked at the window on the side of the building that they were in. The piece of glass wasn't that far off the ground, but was definitely close to the road. And the last thing Gon actually needed was for Killua to go crazy and play in traffic _again_.

So he ran over yelling, "Don't be ridiculous!" He waved his arms frantically trying to get Killua's attention, "What the heck are you doing Killua?"

Killua took a chance and leaped on a whim, over all the complaining from the cops behind him, leaving it to only meet deaf ears. Numbly he felt his body take flight and he felt like a free bird finally un-caged. He was weightless, he was like a plastic bag forgotten in the wind, he was connected to the wind as it whipped around his body. He was himself along with the air merged together spreading himself out.

Then all of a sudden it was like he hugged the earth. His palms skidded roughly against its surface like it was enjoying the warm embrace, but when his legs wrapped around it trying to hold it in place proving such an action to be troublesome. Overall it was one hell of an awkward hug. However no matter how nasty it was, Killua lived through it. A lucky cat of too many lives was what his life was like; Killua was sure that he had died many of times, however each time he tried to touch the light he was forced back down because there was unfinished work to take care of here.

" _ **Unfinished"**_ **work...**

Or actually it seemed more like suffering on this blasted earth.

The sight of seeing Killua jump out the window and eat asphalt made Gon go ballistic. The 16 year old started shaking as he cried pathetically. The voices in his head chanted, " _He's leaving you. Look at it! Look at it, he doesn't care about himself because you yell at him and make him feel like shit. You broke him. You broke Killua to make him a crazy lunatic just like you."_ they would haunt him until he permanently shut them up. Which is what he planned to do.

"Killua! _Oh Killua_! Don't leave me _like this_!" Gon shouted as he made a car slam on it's brakes.

He ran straight into the road.

The screeching sound filled the air forcing a bunch of other cars to follow through stopping. A bunch of horns honked furiously but that didn't stop the boy from yelling at Killua, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I am a piece of stupid trash."

The rough rock part of the road was what had sliced into making various cuts in Killua's skin. It wasn't a deep cut mostly a few beat up marks but otherwise he was fine. It would have been a much better landing if the road was smooth instead of jagged and bumpy. There was no time for him to think before he reacted, his feet making him rise up. His heart was ready to burst out his chest and he was about to let it as he began to kick it into overdrive.

Despite all the conflict in his head, Killua did hear Gon's voice. Yet it didn't stop his reflexes from sparking up and taking control. Even before Gon could reach him, his legs had made him take off running.

Running, through the multiple lanes of traffic that he dashed across. Running, past the cars who honked and screamed, " _It's a mad man!_ " Running, to allow a new crisp wave of the fresh air around him to cradle his lungs tenderly filling them.

Gon was still running after him. Killua figured he was crying, because heck they were _both crying._ And Killua at this point didn't know what he was running for.

Every inch of Killua knew he should be running towards Gon's open arms instead of running away. But the alcohol in Killua system kept reminding him of what a terrible mistake he'd made by endangering Gon while he was pregnant.

If anything Killua was running from the fact he was terrified of what his parents would say, because Illumi was here and was going to take him home. Killua was scared of what his parents would do to Gon. Killua was scared of everything right now, and nothing could make things better.

When Gon was running all he could focus on was how this was somehow his fault. All this time he had been weak, and cried over everything. Now Killua was thinking he'd done something wrong, because Gon couldn't handle himself. Long as he ran at least he could keep the voices down.

 _But one voice he couldn't ignore came from the person he cared about._

Through the open car door he heard a woman talking loudly in a rant, "Even the devil was once an angel."

That was right. Lucifer was an angel, until he got greedy and envious of the same man who created him. Similar to how Gon was falling victim to the same system that had shaped him. None of this would have happened if he never became a Hunter. His name would remain uncharted without a single legacy. His Aunt Mito wouldn't be stressed over his health and she wouldn't be in a damn coma. His father Ging wouldn't matter so much to him. Most importantly, if Gon never went to take the Hunter exam then he never would have met Killua.

If Gon wouldn't have met Killua, things wouldn't be like this. Gon wouldn't have hurt Killua like this...

" _It must be nice…'"_ The voices in his head rang out loudly like fireworks, giving an explosive repetition of, " _If you were WITH Killua. But nope he's running away from you… running away from your madness.."_

Discombobulated mystified hazelnut eyes briefly met up with bright headlights coming closer to him. It was those lights, that seemed to call to him. It yelled at him to step closer.

 _To EMBRACE THEM_

It was the sun to him. The sun that Gon so desperately wanted to merge himself with. Despite it speeding towards him at about 25 miles per hour, it was his escape from here! His chance to be the actually sunshine that Killua deserved to have in his life.

"Go ahead! Hit me!" Gon screamed loudly jumping up and down excitedly chanting as the light grew ever closer; until it completely blinded him. "I don't want to live in a world without Killua by my side."

"Baka!" Killua screeched, the 16 year old whipping his head around. He charged back in the nick of time to shove Gon out of the way. His arms giving and extra boost to ensure he made it over to safety.

The black haired male let out a broken gasp, as he stumbled into the grass on the sidewalk falling down on his ass. He broke down hysterically as the car went flying by smashing right into Killua's side.

Gon couldn't stop rocking back and forth curled up in a ball. The tears flooded from his eye sockets, "I don't want this! I.. I don't wanna live in a world without Killua by my side... I don't want this!" He repeated the same sentences, over, over and _over_ his voice cracking.

As if Heaven heard his desperate cry or it was devil's interference~ soon as Gon blinked his eyes. The world fell silent in a state of depressing hollow black.


	18. Don't shake the embryo Gon! (18)

Honestly it was a strange thing realizing that he was ready to die. Gon couldn't explain it or what made him so prepared. It was like a sudden burst of energy that came from the excitement that there would be no more worries in his life anymore.

 _No more worries._

 _No more fear of endangering others._

 _ **But most importantly, there would never be another KITE SITUATION.**_

 _Dying was so much easier than living._

Gon wanted _the easy_ way out.

Too bad for Gon everything he wanted never really came to pass. There was a certain thing that just wouldn't ever be fair for him. It was like the luck balance of the universe was so out of whack away from Gon, the poor boy would never catch a break.

So unfortunately for him, he woke up in pain. Not a lot of pain,

JUST THE PAIN OF SADNESS EVERYONE FEELS IN THE MORNING REMEMBERING THAT THEY EXIST ON THIS FUCKED UP EARTH.

YA KNOW, COMMON EXISTENTIAL DREAD.

His ears were ringing back to life, it was like he could hear the sound of muffled voices. _Really_ ….muffled voices. It felt like his head was being forcefully held under water, because everything sounded unrealistic. Completely strange yet awfully interesting conversation was taking place.

"I cannot BELIEVE YOU HIT THEM!"

"My bad, damn it. Just get out the car and see if they're okay."

"Get me, Gon and Killua, you said, it will be easy, you said!"

"Machi, I'm not in the mood to play these games."

"Boss, if I was joking. My voice wouldn't be so damn pissed. What if their parents press charges?"

"I honestly meant no harm."

"SAYS THE MAN WHO HIT THEM!"

"I will get on the phone with the police and then their parents to present them with the same story. ' _Your kid was cutting a fool in the streets. He basically tried to commit suicide_.' over and over again."

"And their parents would claim their kid would never do such a thing! Ya know parents defend their kids till the end."

The voices in Gon's head started to kick in at this point teasing, ' _Oh they must not have met Aunt Mito...'_

"And I would kindly say, I meant no disrespect, miss. I apologize for offending you."

"Well..I'm still not buying it. And I'm not getting out of this car so the police can take my photo to put on another wanted poster."

Soon as the mysterious new strange voices said that, Gon immediately felt his brain roar to life. It roared like a race car as his eyes snapped open. His pupils sinking in his socket as they caught sight of the strong light above him, that made his eyelids fall down a bit as he squinted around. Shapes surrounding him from all over, things were unclear and blurry to the point of being unrecognizable.

Yet Gon was determined to find out where da fuck he was at. Whoever these people are, they obviously thought they were dead. Maybe he was a fucking ghost or some shit.

So with new found provisions for the goal, Gon forced his eyes to adjust and comply. All the blurry shapes once unrecognizable now formed things, a fancy car interior with leather seats, cup holders and people sitting in the front seat.

There were 2 people. Gon was sure that the more smaller feminine figure was the familiar sight of a pink haired woman. The other person was unclear to match up with, to a name with his memory being rather foggy at first.

However he did see a man… he could tell it was definitely a guy. The man had short dark hair, in a slicked back style it looked like. The most distinguishing feature was the cross-shaped tattoo on his forehead. Which automatically clicked Gon's brain to a name, ' _Chrollo_.' It was the damn man who in cold blood slaughtered Kurapika's clan.

Chrollo was being rather friendly it seemed like, he had a warm relaxing smile on his face and his pair of orb-shaped earrings shined off the moonlight coming through the window. He ranted on, "But hey! Who knew some crazy kid would try to get hit by my car?"

"I'M NOT CRAZY!" Gon found those being the first words out of his mouth. He shouted it loudly, as he looked around his new surrounding frantically. He caught sight of Killua who was stretched out trembling and still drunk and confused, he laid his head in Gon's lap.

Killua was chanting out, "There's no place like home. There's no place like home." He was saying it repeatedly as he pressed his face in between Gon's thighs.

Chrollo and the pink haired woman jumped as they dashed their heads back to catch sight of Gon, with Killua laying in his lap in the back seat of their car.

"How the hell?" Chrollo's murmured in almost absolute shock. He looked at the road only to now come to terms that he might not have hit anybody. "How'd you both get in my car?" He turned to the woman, "Machi, did you see them get in my car?"

"The nen. It must have been that dark overcast of nen." Machi said pausing in deep thought. It was almost as if retracing the events in her brain, "When I ran out the building and you picked me up, when you were driving forward almost right before you smashed into Killua, that boatload of powerful nen that we felt… It's possible that it was an ability to pause time. They could have ran in here, I suppose that's why they miraculously appeared before us."

"Oh! Which one of you have the ability?" Chrollo grinned almost maliciously at the both of them. He looked them both up and down narrowing the fact it couldn't be Killua since the boy was drunk, his dark eyes fell on Gon, "You… you really matured since the last time I saw you, eh?"

Gon didn't react but just kept on staring at Chrollo like it was a sin that someone had the nerve to try and hurt Killua. He couldn't believe how _close_ (mer inches) Killua was to dying, all because of some crusty ass thug who couldn't drive worth shit. His face formed an expression of pure anger as he glared at the boss man.

Chrollo looked at Gon with a firm expression. He knew better than to reach back and act like they were buddy-buddy friends, so instead he kept his distance. Flicking around his sleeves he gave a solemn nod in Gon's direction, "Either way, I'm glad that you're both okay. Glad to see you awake."

"Don't talk to me." Gon managed to form out his mouth. They were completely bitter and cold hearted completely similar to how he felt right now.

The voice in his head was rubbing salt on his wound buzzing, " _The baby.. How could you do this to yourself, Gon? Such shame.. So so so much shame. You were going to kill yourself… and kill_ _your lovely princess! All for what? All for Killua? You think Killua would REALLY WANT YOU TO DO THAT? ARE YOU JOKING?"_

Gon shook his head, trying to will them away! He didn't know… He just reacted. He did it impulsively, he didn't have time to think about…

" _You didn't have time to think about your own child? Wow.. even after all these years, you're still so selfish Gon."_ Hearing that part brought stinging tears to the corner of Gon's eyes, " _Why? It's always ABOUT YOU. Don't you ever get sick of just worrying about yourself?"_

Machi scoffed, giving Gon a look of disbelief as she informed him, "You're in the boss's car right now. This is a new Bugatti so be thankful he's keeping you and your blood covered boyfriend in here, out of the kindness of his heart."

' _Who said we wanted to be here?_ ' Gon was tempted to reply, yet he bit his tongue sucking up his tears.

Not in front of Chrollo's gang.. He was not about to make a fool of himself here.

He needed to keep a cool head,

" _Baby killer"_

He needed to focus,

" _You didn't even think twice about it."_

If he just kept his thoughts internal and not let them out. He needed to be more cautious…There was way better options of words to say other than saying something stupid that would make Killua and him be in even more danger.

Killua was already very shaken and and fretting over everything. However Gon didn't want to bend over backwards and start kissing Chrollo's feet like he was Jesus who just died on the to save his soul from being damned.

"Now, Machi. Killua and Gon are our guest." Chrollo calmly snapped his fingers."Phinks, Feitan."

Two more passengers in the seats beside Gon and Killua seemed to react coming to life. Both of them, seemed to throw something around Gon.

In an awkward manner he blinked confoundedly. His pupils opened up more now that they were well adjusted to the light now on in the car and placing his hand protectively in Killua's mop of white hair, he took notice of what he was wrapped up in.

 _Chrollo's_ dark-colored leather trench coat that he usually wore.

Gon knew the man had been missing something now that he stole another glance at him. Without the jacket Chrollo actually didn't look like some wanna be rapper gangster, thug life freak. Instead Chrollo with a fancy dress shirt on and skinny leather jeans looked… normal?

Sighing deeply, Gon lifted the jacket to his nose. It smelled like flowers in a field of endless grass. Which was actually calming down his nerves a lot. Now... Gon's anger DIDN'T drop a few levels to almost forgiving, but it did make Gon start to have second thought of being so cruel.

Chrollo took notice of this action bragging, "I was picking up my clothes from the dry cleaner actually when we accidentally collided. So take in all the good vibes and sweet smells. I wouldn't wrap anyone in anything dirty."

"Yeah. Show some respect! What do you say to nice people who risk their lives for you?" Phinks pressed on trying to coax more of a reaction out of Gon.

An answer that Gon didn't have truthfully, he didn't know if this was _really_ Chrollo. And if it was, why was he being so nice? Was it because he wanted something? Was it because he almost killed them? Well no it definitely wasn't because of the last one, Gon was sure Chrollo hated him.

Gon suspiciously inspected the inverted cross logo printed on the back of the jacket before breaking down his walls. Admitting, "Thank you, Mr. Lucifer for letting us ride in here." He shoved his face in the jacket more, hiding it cowardly as he awaited a reaction.

Much to his surprise Chrollo nodded, "It's not a problem. Yet now that you're up, I actually am glad to see you. I have a task… well not for you, given your condition...mostly for Killua."

"My condition?"

"Yes, Machi told me, you and Killua are expecting a child soon. So I figured, I'd come over and get what I need just from Killua."

"Get what you need, from Killua?" Gon muttered out. He looked at the sad boy in his lap.

 _Poor Killua was crying to himself so silently._

Soberly, Killua seemed to be having a pity party with himself, "I put Gon and the baby in danger.. I'm a bad father! I'm such a _bad_ father!" He was blowing snot and everything, hot tears streaking down the side of his face. He shook violently in what seemed like pain. Doing the only thing he could do to comfort himself in a time like this, rub his face against Gon's stomach while pleading for forgiveness.

"Killua, really this isn't the place for that." Gon snapped at him lowly. But his tone at Killua only made the taller male cry even more and reflect on his failures.

Actually, Gon didn't have a clue as to why Killua was choosing to cry about that now. Maybe Killua was coming to term with his past actions, or maybe he was seeing how he almost killed himself, or how this whole situation was his fault and he was helpless to prevent it from spiraling out of control.

"I'm sorry, S-sss..sunshine." Killua said in a broken sob. His voice quiet and muffled as he rubbed his face in Gon's shirt against his little bulge, "I'm sorry, baby. Daddy's _so sorry_." His hot tears soaking the fabric and making it stick to Gon's skin.

 _The dramatic way Killua cried when he was drunk was as if the end of the world was coming._

In a way Gon as thankful that all Killua's words were barely above a whisper, so no one else could hear them. He was sure that if Chrollo heard that, he'd never let Killua live saying it down. He'd probably make a tape and record it just to hold it over his head.

So stroking the sides of Killua's face tenderly Gon tried to wipe all the tears away. He attempted to hush him. Cooing, "It's okay…. You're just drunk.. We forgive you, Killua. We couldn't stay mad at you."

The door of the car locked as Chrollo shifted the vehicle into gear, "Let's go on a little ride around the city. The other members of my gang is in our new condo uptown. Machi can treat, Killua's wounds when we get there." He talked so gracefully like he was some type of hero, which really made Gon sick.

Gon hated how people pretended to be so high and mighty just because they did one good thing. Doing a single good thing didn't suddenly make you miraculously the best damn person in the world. In fact it wasn't even like Chrollo was doing anything that heroic, yet he was prancing around like superman all because he managed to not kill a man.

Sucking down on whatever bit of pride that Gon actually had left, he snubbed, "Okay."

Gon was as good _as doomed_ from the moment he agreed.

Practically telling Chrollo to whisk him away from everything and everyone he had ever known, letting him know how utterly defenseless and friendless he was- how foolish and naive he was, too.

This was the day, the breaking point in Gon's mind would regret forever….. _because it cracked_.


	19. Do n t sh àke t he e mbry o Go n!(19)

For a band of wanted criminals they had a nice looking place. The furniture was a little too luxurious for the downtown setting but, Gon figured it matched the pretty modern aesthetic of the room. Along with the wine glasses that rested on the table before them.

Chrollo reached forward taking a sip out of his. He drank for a few seconds all the while maintaining steady eye contact with Gon, who couldn't seem to sit still on the nice leather couch.

Anxiously Gon kept darting his head around, taking in the sights but just as much the atmosphere. The fact he was chilling alone with Chrollo in the main living room made things weird. Gon couldn't shake the feeling he was getting set up for something. He just didn't know what.

When Chrollo finally placed down his glass, he spoke, "You know," His eyes flickered, "We have lots of stuff in common."

Gon's mind immediately flared up to, " _NO! I DON'T FUCKING KNOW! If I FUCKING KNEW, I WOULD HAVE SAID. What the heck do we have in common? You're a fucking criminal who murdered people for their eyes. And you STILL KILL PEOPLE!_ _I don't do any of that shit._ _Knock again and try some OTHER shitty comparison bitch."_ Instead of speaking his mind, He raised a slightly eyebrow.

"We both hate, Hisoka." Chrollo listed that as the number one on his list.

Gon rolled his eyes skywards, "If this is supposed to be breaking the ice, you're doing a really poor job at it."

"Normally, I would have had you slaughtered for talking to me like that." Chrollo kept a cool even tone. He patted Gon's thigh almost trustingly, "But my informants told me of your hormone imbalance moodiness so, I'll willing to excuse your transgressions."

It took all of Gon's strength not to make his eye twitch. He hated the fact Chrollo was touching him. He hated Chrollo trying to get close to him. The single hand resting on his thigh felt like Gon was being burned alive by lava.

 _Don't think about it. Don't think about it. Ignore._

"What informants?" Gon strained to get the words out. For some reason his throat was struggling with dryness. It was probably because his body was too busy sweating profoundly.

"If I tell, you better be prepared to take their names to your grave." Chrollo said sternly. His cold eyes loomed at Gon as if testing his loyalty to a cause.

Stress-fully Gon tugged on the collar of his shirt trying to get air in. _Hot. So hot.. So much pressure…_

"That's not a problem." He lied through his teeth like a professional.

"Machi and Kalluto." Chrollo listed, raising two finger in the air. "Not one more, not on less." Then his tone got more commanding, "I have eyes and ears everywhere. Even in the Hunter's Association. So don't try to pull a quick one on me or you'll end up like Illumi is now." His lips twisted in a tight disgusted frown his whole face turning into a full on scowl. "I knew he fancied Hisoka. He hid it well, but I sensed he couldn't be the one to kill him. He wasn't _cruel_ enough."

"Excuse me?" Gon said feeling a bit lost.

"Hisoka and Illumi got married 3 years ago. Illumi ditched us, even after Hisoka told him to help do his death! Isn't that fucked up! Stupid love and emotions…." Chrollo stopped himself, lowering his voice before he ranted out of control. He made a tight fist as he took a huge breath to regain his composure. Then he looked at how awestruck Gon's express was, "You're dating, Killua. You should know this."

Gon was ready to rip his own hair out and jump up and down in a pissed off scream. No he didn't FUCKING know that. It seemed like apparently, Gon didn't know any fucking thing! Hisoka was Gon's in-laws? _OH HECK NO..._

The voices in Gon's brain stormed, " _Bet Killua knew but didn't tell you. He's done that a lot lately."_

Biting his bottom lip, "Mr. Lucifer can you please…" Gon darted his eyes over to look at his thigh then back up at him.

In Gon's mind, _the heat,_ it was already too much. This news was _too_ much for him and what Chrollo was doing was WAY TOO MUCH for him. Everything was too much! Right now, Gon needed his space. Gon needed to collect his thoughts.

Chrollo smacked his lips together, "What?" He moved his hand away a bit, "I'm just scouting out the proper place for the tattoo to go."

"Tattoo?"

"Of the spider."

"WHAT?" Gon almost found himself choking on air. Last time he checked coming here and meeting with Chrollo didn't mean he was joining a gang. It didn't mean he supported Chrollo's gang either!

Picking up his glass, "In time for you." Chrollo said almost charmingly a clever gleam in his eyes. "But for Killua, I shall propose the question tomorrow."

Gon changed the subject, "Where did you say Machi took Killua, again?" He shifted over to peek down the hall. "What room?"

"Don't worry. You'll make it down there soon. For now we focus on Hisoka." Chrollo responded as if he didn't really mean it but was choosing not to rush things. It was obvious that his strategy was splitting the two apart long enough for him to see their sides were they lack dependence from each other.

"Yes, But what does this mean with Killua and I? Neither of us can kill Hisoka." Gon told him sternly.

Running his hands through his loose short black hair, Chrollo rose to his feet. "Don't worry that's not his job." He gave a friendly look at Gon. "Killua will have a special job I need done."

"What job?" Gon demanded unwilling to back down.

"That is for Killua's ears alone." Chrollo shrugged the aggressive nature off. The older man choosing to ignore how indignant Gon was being. He simply walked past him muttering, "But if you and Killua are _that_ close… I suppose the first thing he'll do is tell you."

Swallowing numbly, Gon didn't know why he suddenly felt so attacked. Confusion mixed with rage locked in his emotions. This was mental warfare… a war Gon didn't know how to win.

"Why are you even _still_ talking to me? Gon blurted finding himself exploding like a firecracker. His mind was done pretending and trying to untie the knot of what intention pushed Chrollo. "You know who I am! You know I'm friends with Kurapika! I can call him at any given time to beat your ass! You know all that I know! Clearly you were a creep and did a history paper on me or something! So WHY THE HELL ARE YOU EVEN IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW? WHAT'S YOUR REAL REASON?"

Chrollo's eyes dashed up to glance out the window where the stars twinkled above in the beautiful night sky. The man tapping his foot pleasantly as if enjoying the view while taking his time to think himself on why he was here. Unable to find an answer it seemed he started making up bull shit, "Call it fate or destiny… but the stars are aligning in our favor tonight."

Gon didn't want to look up at the sky like Chrollo was doing. Since the last time Gon had did that it was with Ging and Gon knew how that went. Instead Gon folded his arms defiant not falling victim to any bait. "You're going to have to do better than that." He insisted as his brown orbs flashed like it was a challenge, "I've been down that road before and know how it ends. You want to talk to Killua? Fine. You wanna tell him and not me? FINE."

"Is that so?" Chrollo said turning away from the window to look at Gon directly in his eyes. The older man could feel the anger boiling off of the younger boy and it made him even more eager to pry Gon open. "Well ya know taking the same road with another person might change the outcome."

Gon's mouth grew dry and he assumed all his spit had retreated to his armpits to make more _sweat_. Damn, he knew if he didn't stop getting so worked up by Chrollo's annoying questions then he was going to get sick. He could already feel the nausea hitting him. It was impossible for him to hold his head together and his stomach.

Gon figured is he puked all over Chrollo's nicely cleaned jacket that would send him running anyway. But a certain sentence from Chrollo's mouth stopped him, "Killua? And Gon. Maybe y'all are too good to be real."

That sentence hit Gon like a ton of bricks. The truth had that bad knack to hit people with bricks upside their fucking head. It only kicked up, _**the truth**_.

' _FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE_

 _CHEAP SMILE_

 _CHEAP LAUGH_

 _THROW IT AWAY'_

Then just like that Gon retorted, "Which is why I'm not. Under the government's eyes I'm a fake illusion of a person." He let a smile come on his face as he pointed to himself, "So you're right. I guess Killua discovered, I'm _not_ real either. That I'm _not_ really here. That everything within me is pre-programmed to act correctly, if I just listen to the voices in my head."

"No it's not." Chrollo said tapping his chin in thought, "If the rumors are true that is…."

"What rumors?"

"That you killed an pretty strong opponent, way out of your nen range."

"That was an insignificant fucking son of a bitch!"

"Really? I heard it was an Chimera ant name Pi-"

"SHUT UP!" Gon screamed like a mad man as he covered his ears.

The voices in his head were all rattled up, ' _CHROLLO WAS ABOUT TO SAY THE WORD! THE WORD!'_

Running his fingers through his black hair Chrollo started to play his cards right offering, "You shouldn't be scared," He taunted a slick mocking grin crossing his lips, "Not with Killua around, right? Unless the darkness that filled the hole in your heart was triggered by him."

For a few seconds Gon blinked completely blindsided. His brown eyes looked Chrollo up and down as he mumbled, "My darkness?"

"Of course." Chrollo rose to his feet all professional. He walking over to Gon he circled around him confessing, "I am just like you too, ya know. I lost most of my gang, I haven't been able to use my nen for years. I absolutely despise your blond friend….Kurapika?" He tilted his head to the side as he gently cupped Gon's face. "I hate him so much. I blame him for all my failures. I spend every second reflecting and loathing him. It's sorta like how, you blame Kite's death on Killua saving your life back then."

Gon felt his heart start to increase as his brown eyes got lost in the dark pit of malice that laid in Chrollo's eyes. He felt like Chrollo was actually preaching the gospel to him.

 _A connection_.

"I... Don't blame… Killua. I love him." Gon said lowly. Then suddenly flashbacks appeared in his mind: Kite's mangled body with a lost arm, Killua stopping him from running to probably his own death, and _lying to him._ Killua _lied._ Killua agreed on Gon's urge to, "We're gonna get stronger and save Kite."

 _Killua lied so much, that Gon said it... or maybe.._

 _Gon lied to himself first, then Killua just reinforced the lies to make him happy._

 _Why was Killua always trying to make Gon happy?_

Slowly Gon's tone oozed out with anguishing regret, with his voice cracking with dementia, "Wh..whyy..why? why? W-woould, I bl-bla.."

"Hush.." Chrollo pressed a finger to Gon's pink lips, "It's alright, Gon. Just _understand,_ there is a difference between realities. Even with two people who grew up around each other. You're..." He took a deep breath, making a soft face that almost appeared endearing if he wasn't a criminal. "Just a somber little knocked up potato who got packaged in the wrong bunch is all."

"I.. wanna be packaged in.. in K-killua's bunch. I.. I don't get it." Gon felt sorrow creeping up in his words, "I try and I..." He swallowed numbly, all the heat drove him mad so he bit down hard on his tongue. He drew out blood paining himself to talk, "I want him to tell me the truth. I love him so much, yet I feel like he can't be honest."

The voices in his head stirred up to disagree, " _If you love him, why you do him like this? Why do you trouble him with your problems? Why do you act like such a creep?"_

Chrollo winked at him, "That's one way to put it. But I can turn those feelings into something beautiful." A light smile crawled on his lips as he moved his finger to tap on Gon's nose, "You're the dynamite and I'm the flame about to light you up. Just stick with me kid, and I'll pave you a path to salvation."

Gon tried his best to ignore the bad feeling in his gut when he heard Chrollo say that. Gon knew Chrollo saw him for what he was ' _an unstable freaky out of control walking stick of dynamite_.' Which when lit correctly made a huge explosion.

 _Gon knew Chrollo wanted to see that explosion go off._

 _But in a way Gon wanted to let it happen too._

"How can you help me?" Gon challenged with caution before he agreed to anything.

"I know people. I know things. People like things that give them power." Chrollo declared pulling away from Gon as he walked over to the window. He looked this time not at the sky, but at the hustling city below. "I know that Killua would love to open up to you if you showed him what you're worth. If you can prove to him, he needs you by his side. Then you won't feel like such a burden to him anymore."

* * *

 **Uhhh... THANKS FOR ALL THE FEEDBACK! I honestly enjoy reading them. ;) It inspires me to write. Well, all these chapters are so short. (Unless you like short chapters) Because they are I am writing a long one to make up for it.**

 **Our tragic tale of our pure heroines,** _Clarification: In_ **case this chapter was confusing. Re-read 8 There is some Gon and Killua moments. I think 11 that's the chapter they actually, "commit murder in" so yeah, Gon has a lot of explaining to do. Plus if you really want to know where this whole entire thing came from 12 and 13 with Gon's mental state is what makes this chapter possible. It is what Chrollo exploits to corrupt Gon with.** **Also Killua didn't lie. Neither Gon nor Killua knew that Kite was dead. They thought Kite could be fixed. That whole part is just Gon's slow decent into madness based off his own fears.**

 **(Yeah, lol it all wraps together, there was soooo much foreshadowing some people in the comments guessed it already. Just wait, next 2 chapters all Killua. Gon got 2 chapters and Killua gets it next. One thing with Killua's chapters, expect the unexpected. )**

 **THANKS FOR READING AND FOLLOW/FAV! SENDING LOTS OF LOVE AND FREE HUGS TO ALL WHO COMMENT! Have a happy day.~Mel**


	20. Don't shake the embryo Gon! (20)

The taste of minty toothpaste filled Killua's mouth when he actually woke up. He had the stinging feeling on his tongue as he rolled it around his mouth stirring himself awake. A pressure seemed to be holding him downward captive to gravity.

"Mm~What the heck…?" Killua groaned lowly only to have his mouth unable to form real sentences with it hanging over. So his words really sounded similar to, "Arawa, heeba, zee?"

"Good morning Killua." Gon pushed his hand further into Killua's mouth, moving it around he kept the boy's mouth open.

Killua's blue eyes popped open to see Gon sitting right on top of him. The black haired male's almost dead looking brown eyes staring down at him. They were focused on the work they were doing in Killua's mouth; and he was putting together what they were working on.

"Why are you brushing my teeth?" Killua babbled out confused. He felt the brush shove against his cheek pouch trying to clean his back chompers.

"You passed out then threw up last night." Gon responded nonchalantly. He softened the way he brushed over Killua's top front teeth. He ran the brush over less jerky.

Killua looked past Gon for a few seconds. Finding that he was unable to recognize the place they were at. "This isn't the hotel room…" He murmured as if coming to terms with it all. His vision was still a bit blurry and his head pounded with a splitting headache. Everything about him hurt, "That isn't even my toothbrush."

"I know. We're at Chrollo's place. I went with Phinks and Feitan to the store a few hours ago and brought the toothbrush."

"Why?"

"So when you woke up your mouth wouldn't taste like throw up."

"No.. I mean, what are we doing at Chrollo's place?"

"You don't remember anything from last night?"

"After entering the party everything gets foggy."

Gon looked at Killua harshly as if he despised him for forgetting something very important. Killua didn't know what it was; his head hurt too much for him to actually think much about it.

 _There were some people in this world, who stressed themselves out over nothing._

 _And Killua was not one of those people._

Closing his eyes, Killua took a deep breath and _tried_ to collect his thoughts. Which was a very hard thing to do with Gon's ass crushing his pelvis. Killua didn't know how anyone could focus with _that_ on top of them.

Instead all Killua could focus on was one fact, "Sunshine, can you like…" His eyelids fluttered a bit as his tongue was struggling to find a word to say. "Get off of me."

"But, I still have to rinse your mouth." Gon began to say. He kept Killua pinned down lecturing, "Toothpaste isn't meant for swallowing." He shifted around a bit going for a glass of water on the cabinet.

"No. I mean… I'll get a bon-" Killua felt his face heat up as he groaned again. It felt like someone had a hammer and was pounding on his skull.

Gon looked at Killua with a sly smirk tugging on his lips. He leaned forward his brown eyes almost sparking up mischievously, "You'll get a what?" He taunted pressing his forehead against Killua's. "I'm just trying to assist you." He uttered huskily.

"Not now… my head.." Killua complained, as he opened his eyes sluggishly. His whole entire body felt heavy and Gon purposely sitting on top of him wasn't making it any easier.

"You're having a hangover, babe." Gon hummed. He delivered a kiss to the tip of Killua's nose.

"Ughh.. I feel like shit."

"Eating will make things better. You can after I finish brushing."

"Gon.. can you.. really legit move off me now…?"

"WHY? I TOLD YOU WHY IM HERE!"

"Dang.. okay.." Killua flinched at the loud shouting. His vision was still failing him and seemed to be forming outlines of shapes so he blinked rapidly trying to adjust his eyes to the light of day. Speaking, "Do what you want Gon. Just do what you want…."

Gon's eye twitched slightly, as he pulled away from Killua. He withdrew the toothbrush and rolled over to the other side of the bed.

Killua darted his pupils over to see Gon curling in some sort of jacket almost angrily. So out of obligation Killua insisted, "IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT, GON? MY MOUTH STILL HAS TOOTHPASTE IN IT."

"That's sounding more like a YOU issue. I guess YOU better go fix it." Gon snorted rolling his eyes.

"Okay… no need to get saucy." Killua grumbled mostly to himself. His face twisting with confusion to why Gon was being so cold to him. He dragged himself out of the bed, and stumbled around the room bumping into a few walls for a few seconds as he tried to gather himself.

Gon's harsh dark brown eyes watched with heavy interest. He was leaning even closer upwards with every bump that Killua made almost confused walking in circles. Until finally he informed him, "There is a bathroom right there." He pointed to the door beside the closet.

Killua made his way over to it, pushing open the door. There was a huge mirror on the wall reflecting his tired expression written all over his face. Yet Killua didn't waste time staring too long. He just turned on the water and stuck his head in the sink. Holding his mouth open to catch a few droplets of water, for him to clean out his mouth with, mostly Killua let the water wash over his whole entire face. The fresh waves of droplets felt like a rain shower almost redeeming his senses from sleep.

After a few minutes he focused on rinsing out the minty flavor from his mouth as he spit it out. Then he pulled away from the sink, shaking his head beads of water flew from it as others rushed down the sides of his face. He sniffled when his vision fully returned to him and he caught a glance at the fancy clock hanging on the wall. It read, ' _4:45 pm_ ' which meant he slept the day mostly away.

It wasn't like Killua had plans for today or anything. But he would have rather spent the day with Gon or something. In fact, maybe that's why Gon was so freaking pissed at him. Maybe Gon was mad at Killua for being sleep instead of being there for him. Killua figured he'd find a way to make it up to him.

Despite feeling a bit better his head still hurt as he came back out the bathroom. This time he could clearly see and recognize the jacket that Gon was draping himself in. And strangely the sight made him yell, "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SOME OTHER MAN'S FUCKING JACKET? I PASS OUT FOR A FEW HOURS AND COME BACK TO YOU WEARING SOME OTHER MAN'S CLOTHES?" He stormed up to Gon unable to hide his rage, "IS THERE SOME DEEP REAL REASON THAT WE'RE ACTUALLY HERE, GON?"

"Real reason?" Gon whispered out lowly his voice bitter. He looked down at his body submerged in jacket, his hands resting in the pockets. Then he murmured, "You think there's another reason? What other reason would I come here? This wasn't my choice."

"Oh.." Killua scoffed. He reached out to tug on the shoulder of the heavy coat, "So we just happen to be at Chrollo's place. AND YOU JUST HAPPEN TO BE WEARING CHROLLO'S JACKET."

Killua knew a fucking fuck boi when he saw one. He wasn't bout to be playing all this bullcrap. He was bout ready to knock someone out. A rapid repeat in his mind was: ' _What the fuck? Oh hell no._ ' He ain't never seen no shit like this. Why Gon all up in Chrollo's jacket like that?

"Yes?" Gon uttered, his face twisting up in disgust. "I know you might think it is implying something else but it's not. I TOLD you what happened." He hissed, "I have no reason to lie to you Killua. I actually care, UNLIKE SOME OF US HERE. I was just trying to brush your teeth."

Killua seemed to buy into that fact, so he decided against pressing on Gon for more info. Instead he now only wanted to know one thing, "Okay." Killua couldn't help but urge with his voice cracking his hostility. He crunched up his grip on Chrollo's jacket making a tight fist as he demanded, "Why the hell are you wearing this then? Why the actually hell do you think wearing this… IN FRONT OF ME IS OKAY?"

"He just gave it to me?" Gon blurted actually unable to figure out why Chrollo did wrap him in this. He stared at Killua like he had lost his mind when the white haired male's blue eyes seemed to glow.

Killua's breathing become more rough as he glared Gon up and down rapidly, unable to hold in all the burst of emotions hitting him and once. He sneered, "That bastard just GAVE IT TO YOU? AND YOU TOOK IT! YOU TOOK IT!" It was mostly that his mind couldn't wrap around the fact that Gon would pull some shit like this.

"I guess." Gon's voice broke as he pulled the jacket tighter around him. He tucked his head down in the white fur part as he murmured, "It's soft?"

"Heh.." Killua's lips curved in a bastardized crazed half smirk. He didn't know what pissed him off more. How chill Gon was being at his scrutiny of the idea or how Gon was cuddling and rubbing his face in some other man's jacket.

 _It was like a legit onward attack of Killua's pride and every inch of him fucking hated it._

Glaring at Gon, Killua commanding him, "TAKE IT OFF."

"WHY!? YOU CANT HANDLE THE SIGHT OF ME IN THIS? YOU OVERPROTECTIVE COWARD!" Gon found himself raising his voice to get a bit more upset. He felt his heart pounding loudly starting to flair up a ' _meltdown_ ' moment.

The word, ' _why'_ didn't seem to register to Killua. Scrunching his eyebrows up, he let out an agitated sigh. It took a lot for him not to loose his marbles. For some reason the world and him were not on good terms.

Instead he sucked on his teeth and shook his head. Choosing that he'd rather die before getting all rattled up and upset, especially when honestly...

"You're right." Killua murmured. His voice came out more shattered than anything, "I can't and that's fine. You..." He sunk his face into his hands all the anger that was once built up fell from his eyelids in the form of tears.

Gon halfway opened his mouth but no words came out because he was actually confused to what he was gonna say. It made him feel more lost than anything, especially as Killua took a few steps forward to pull Gon into a hug.

 _A warm hug._

 _Not a 'sorry' hug._

 _There was comfort in a single touch._

All Killua let out was a muffled somber cry, "I can't. Not again..." His arms squeezed Gon slightly as if searching for a reason.

 _A reason for what?_

The black haired boy spoke softly as if a shout might just crush Killua's soul even more. "You have a hangover. So you're upset and you're just blindly emotionally spilling on me." Gon fumbled around wiggling beneath the pale male's grasp the best he could.

"No! Only because your mine!" Killua growled out. "No one else! You belong to me!" His voice grew less aggressive more of a whiny timid upset yell as he complained, "AND I DON'T WANT YOU WEARING OTHER PEOPLE'S ST..SS-STUFF!"

Suddenly as if the strange emotional wave Killua was doing made sense to Gon, the shorter boy laughed. It was a stupid laugh that made Killua feel almost shitty like Gon was mocking him.

Gon laughing, "Haha! Killu-ahaaha!" He nuzzled the taller boy in the crook of his neck, "You're jealous?" Pausing he pressed a quick kiss on Killua's neck. "Don't be. You know you could have just said that."

Killua felt his face turn numerous shades of red because he was sure he vividly pronounced his disagreement with Gon wearing Chrollo's jacket. Pulling away from Gon, the 16 year old bashfulness got the best of him. Still it didn't prevent him from achieving his goal, with a rough pull on the jacket as he yanked it back.

Gon gasped loudly, "What the heck?" Not expecting such a force to take place. He gave Killua a push away.

Slowly Killua found himself traceneding to the floor due to gravity. Chrollo's jacket falling down right behind him, as his pale finger were wrapped so tightly around it.

There was a loud thud soon as Killua's back kissed the carpet. It made the 16 year old let out a painful howl at the top of his lungs.

"Raaaawwwgg!" Gon's playful laughter broke out in a rough scream. His body started shaking as he cursed wildly, "You're so stupid! You're so stupid, Killua. You DON'T UNDERSTAND! YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR OR UNDERSTAND!"

At first Killua didn't pick up on what Gon was talking about. Cutting his blue eyes from the floor to back up at Gon, it wasn't until further inspection that he caught sight of what Gon was actually tripping over. Killua stood up, just to get a better view of Gon who was visibly troubled laying on the bed. He was shaking but not crying, Gon looked too conflicted to be crying. Killua didn't say anything at first, just assuming that saying something would only bring out more of the obvious.

The black haired boy took a deep breath, as he felt Killua's gaze. Gon was aware that he was getting bigger, specifically around his stomach area. Their little clump of cells had finally decided to show itself to the world—(Gon might as well get a sign that reads, ' _Pregnant as fuck'_ since there was no more hiding his stomach as a muffin top.)

Gon felt slightly confused as to why, his mind seemed to be mentally scolding: _Too early. Too early. Too fast. Not good._

Gon placed his hand over his now very visible baby bump, "I knew you would act _crazy_ if I showed you." He let a few words croak out of his mouth, "I didn't want this discovery to happen during your hangover. I wanted it to be on better terms…"

Killua grimaced a bit, as he looked at the jacket in his hands guiltily. Gon still hadn't steered him wrong. He was just trying to cover stuff up on his own time. Swallowing Killua gave a quick apology, "It's your body, you should have...When you were ready..."

"No!" Gon hollered, his black hair bounced wildly as he roared. "IF YOU WERE SORRY, YOU WOULDN'T HAVE DONE IT!"

"You're right." Killua spoke sadly, "I shouldn't have done that. I am such an idiot and a moron."

"Don't say that!" Gon fired out bitterly, "Don't say that about yourself. Let _me_ SAY IT. BECAUSE YOU ARE ALL THOSE THINGS AND I LOVE YOU."

Killua sniffled a bit, feeling thankful but he also felt he wasn't worthy of such feelings.

He looked at Gon's stomach. The little bulge that had been there before was bigger now. Not rounded but more popping out. So Killua gave a light smile, "But on the bright side... It's kind of cute."

"It's not right." Gon babbled out. He tapped his stomach repeating, "This isn't right. Can't you see that?

"Isn't the baby supposed to get bigger?" Killua questioned a bit confused.

"Yeah but.. Just a few weeks ago.. It was toned and flat as pancake. Then it grew a bit more in the hotel room, now its growing again." Gon protested as if he shouldn't have to make this so clear. "I'm only 8 weeks." He spoke out softly, "Maybe barely early 9 weeks."

For that reason some almost similar like ideas started clicking in Killua's brain. He seemed to be connecting the dots as if he was able to channel where Gon's worry was coming from.

Dropping the coat to the ground he made a fist. Demanding, "Who was it..?" Killua found himself growing upset at all these impulsive changes, "WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON WHO MADE YOUR BODY USE NEN ON, GON?"

Gon chewed on his bottom lip. His brown somber eyes now revealing the truth to why they looked so dark and heartbroken a few minutes ago. His face melted into guilt as he stared at Chrollo's jacket.

"Was it _him?"_ Killua's lips curled up in a a dastardly smirk, "It was him, wasn't it?" He raised Chrollo's jacket in the air as if it was a trophy of his already declared victory. "I'll kill him, sunshine. I'll make him _pay for this_. I'll beat his ass so hard, he won't know when he even entered hell. But I'll drag him back up just to torture him and-"

"No!" Gon shook his head. In a desperate way he uttered out, "Don't say you'll do that! It wasn't his fault _exactly._ I didn't do it to beat him up. I did it to..."

"TO WHAT, GON?" Killua exploded, a burst of electricity breaking out to crackle around his body. He let out a pissed off grunt, "WHO ARE YOU PROTECTING?"

" _You_!" Gon blurted out. He glanced up at his lover furiously, "I did it to protect you!" His voice cracked as he held back a wave of emotions threatening to take over him.

"Huh?" Killua's expression turned to pure shock, reading nothing but, " _WHAT?"_ All over it.

"You.. you.. You we-eerree… Were gonna get hit by Chrollo's car. I-I couldn't, I _couldn't_ let you die, Killua!" Gon started to plead, trying to guide Killua a way for him to understand this. The smaller boy elaborated, "You were drunk. You ran into the streets. I HAD TO run AFTER you. I HAD TO SAVE YOU."

At first, Killua was left speechless. He swallowed numbly, tearing his eyes away from Gon shamefully. Nothing but confusion and regret filled up in Killua's mind. No way could he comprehend why Gon had done such a thing. Why would Gon sacrifice himself, for him? Why would Gon be so reckless and careless when he was...?

"You're pregnant." Killua spoke the fact softly. He closed his eyes almost in an upset pissed way, "Taking care of the child inside you, Gon... Is more important than anything." He started to back away bitterly, "You and our child is more important, than _anything._ "

"I know..." Gon choked out, "I know." He reached out for him. His tan hands extending only to feel Killua shove Chrollo's coat in his hands instead. The taller male still making his way towards the door, going further and further away from Gon. It made the pregnant boy repeat again, "I love you. I love you, so much, so so much Killua."

"If you love me, why didn't you _let me die_?" Killua shouted out at the top of his lungs. His face flushing red as he shouted more, "If you love me, you wouldn't you know what I wanted?"

That was all the confirmation that Gon needed to know that what Chrollo told him was true. _Chrollo was right_. Gon was doing nothing but stressing out Killua. Gon was making Killua get upset and mad and do extra work, and… Killua didn't need someone like Gon to hold him back.

Holding his head down, Gon started to say one more round of, "I love you." Only this time he added in, "So I can't control it. Maybe.. Maybe the baby. She, she wanted you to live long enough so.. She could meet her father."

"I know! Damn, it! YOU DONT HAVE TO RUB IT IN! YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW I'M FUCKING RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS GON!" Killua shook his head, lightning popping everywhere as he threw open the door. "I don't want to be responsible for this..." He glared down at the floor angrily, "BUT I AM! It's MY FAULT! I GO PLACES AND JUST FUCK IT UP!"

Gon opened his mouth, ready to beg for forgiveness. Yet Killua didn't want to hear it, soon as the word, "I-" crossed Gon's lips, Killua was far gone.

 _He had Godspeed ran out the room._

Killua was dashing down the hallways, trying to erase that singular that of his own failures. He didn't want this to be his fault. NONE OF THIS COULD REALLY BE HIS FAULT. He didn't want Gon to be confused and upset due to him. He didn't want their kid's development to be screwed up due to him.

"If only I had more control… If I wasn't so fucking insane." Killua whispered under his breath, his mind going foggy from his head ache. He found himself insisting, "If none of this would happen to him. Not the one I love _the most_..." Tears built up in his eyes the more he fought internally about it, "I never wanted to hurt my baby boy."

The sound of hands clapping filled his mind as a tall slender figure was nearing him, walking into view. Their hands were moving and a slick smile curled up on their lips as they promoted, "I can't believe I get to see the legendary Killua Zoldyck using Godspeed. Today is truly an exorbitant day."

At the sound of his voice. Killua paused from his running. His feet freezing as his whole entire body responded with pure upset rage, "YOU!" He bellowed, as he spun around to come face to face with, "Chrollo!"

The black haired male smiled charmingly, "I heard you like drinking now." Chrollo spoke almost overly considerate. He started to reach out for Killua, telling him. "The first time around it's always really hard."

"Hell no!" A delusional slur of laughter fell from Killua's lips as he found a place to unload his burden in his heart on another person. A chance to place his guilt and suffering in the hands of another so he won't have to face the music, "This is your fault! ALL YOU! NOT ME!"

"Excuse me?"

"I know all about how you tried to run me over!"

"Oh, yes. That time around was an accident. I was trying to find Gon and yourself. This round I..."

Killua cut off Chrollo and started screaming wildly, "There ain't gonna be _no more_ rounds asshole!" If possible the storm of electricity around Killua's body picked up violently, he reached into his pockets pulling out his yo-yo's and pointing them at him. "This is gonna be a fucking street fight!"

* * *

 **HAPPY PRIDE MONTH! Sending lots of love to everyone!** **Have a super fan-fucking-tastic day!~Mel**


	21. Don't shake the embryo Gon! (21)

**Updates on a Wednesday? Ugly fruit tasting delicious like oranges? Chrollo making Killua his little bitch? All this is more likely than you think! xoxo~Mel**

* * *

The last _"thing"_ Chrollo was intimidated by had been Hisoka. But suddenly Killua was giving Chrollo some second thoughts. The punches and kicks that Killua delivered, had barely managed to land on him. Not to mention those damn weighed heavy yo-yo's Killua swung around so effortlessly, they landed more hits than any punch and did triple the impact. Chrollo had an high experience advantage that allowed him to maneuver around more easily, yet even so the hits surprisingly burned more than they hurt.

Must have been because Killua now had an equivalent height level with Chrollo, the young boy was taller and his fighting style had improved.

 _Killua was useful to him now… very useful.._

"Look.. I have no desire to fight you…" Chrollo started to try to come to terms with him. Doing extra work wasn't his desire, in fact it pissed him off at the thought of working so hard only to fail.

Killua didn't seem to be hearing it as he snapped, "TOO LATE FOR THAT YOU MOTHERFUCKING ASS HOLE! YOU WANTED TO GO!" Swinging his yo-yo over it connected with Chrollo's wrist which skillfully blocked his face.

"I wanted to recruit you." Chrollo continued to urge drilling his message of peace into Killua's brain. "I have a special task for you."

"I'm too busy protecting Gon to spare any second of my time with you."

"I knew you would say that."

"So why'd you even ask?"

"Because that's what all brilliant mastermind gang leaders do to hook on the strings becoming a successful puppeteer."

Killua's face screwed up in a deep frown, "What?" Everything kept catching him off his game as he felt the wind blow against him.

"Look. No offense Killua, but compared to the other millions of foes I fought." Chrollo smirked a bit, effortlessly snatching a yo-yo from the air. "You're pretty lame, and make too much of a damn fool out of yourself." He pulled on the string violently, sending Killua tumbling towards him. The older man making quick use of his hands as they gracefully tangled the string reeling in Killua like a fish until they were mer inches apart. "And because of this, _even at this short range_ you will never land a single scar on me."

Breathing heavily, Killua found his ears start ringing. His face turning red in pure rage, "SAYING NO OFFENSE DOESN'T GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO OFFEND AND CRITICIZE ME." He snarled viciously flashing his teeth, the string preventing him from any other movement.

"Yes, but you see..." Chrollo chuckled lightly, tossing Killua back like rotten piece of meat. "I know, what you want to know about your brother." The man successfully conveyed, as he drop kicked the 16 year old to the floor. His eyes seemed to darken as a cruel look crawled on his lips, "So shut up and listen."

Killua looked up, his throat almost filling with bile, as his lungs felt like they were being crushed. Yet his determination not to kneel drove him to try and get back up on his feet. He wiped some blood from his busted lip, "Which one? Kalluto?" His words sounded perplexed.

Chrollo's fist paused right in front of Killua's face, barely inches away from slamming the 16 year old in it. "I SAID SHUT UP." The older man smirked, "But...That would be him."

"Like how the hell did you get to know him?" Killua sneered not intimidated at all by Chrollo's fist still lingering before him. He slipped one of his yo-yo's into his pocket, almost as if testing the waters. Then crossed his arms, "Or what business you have with him?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you, he joined on his own free will." Chrollo chuckled lightly, pulling his fist away. He calmly undid it as he moved to tuck a strand of his black hair behind his ears. His earrings reflecting the light pouring out the window onto his body, "But he did."

Killua found himself unable to hold back the anger still boiling in his gut. Seeing Chrollo so chill around made him wanna slam his fist into his face at top speed. However Killua took a long deep breath, his wild white hair still popping with blue lighting bringing out his sky toned eyes as they glared menacingly at Chrollo. Despite his racing pissed off heart beat, sending waves of blood thirsty moves and actions to his brain to follow out...He rejected them. Steadily twirling his extra yo-yo's in his hand, the string twisting around his finger as it swung in the air, like pendulum.

A slight crazed laughed slipped out, "Haha, no time for your stupid shitty games. Where is my little brother?" Killua demanded strictly, "I'm going to set things right. I'm going to fix him up and take him back home. AWAY FROM YOU LUNATICS."

"Oh… he could always leave anytime he wanted. He _chose_ not to come back." Chrollo shrugged his shoulders carelessly, "What do you think, we hold people hostage here?" He spun around as if to show off the free space.

"I'll only ask you… ONE MORE TIME." Killua snarled sending his Yo-yo outwards to threaten the action of actually smashing it into Chrollo's head. He wasn't going to get suckered in and dragged in Chrollo's tricks. He wasn't as free and easy going as most people, so Chrollo's classy charm was numb when it came to his upset mood. His veins were popping out of his skin as raw power flowed through them. "Where is Kalluto?"

Narrowing his eyes, the man looked ready to draw blood. "Who do you think you're talking to?" A strong gust of wind seemed to blow Killua backward, as a booming voice replaced the ringing in his ears. "Get that yo-yo out of my face, before I kill you where you stand." Chrollo snapped, his voice laced with malice.

Unconsciously the 16 year old grabbed his heart. It seemed to be throbbing, _angrily_ upset over having to act like a complete coward. Killua's broken breaths became more rushed, as snot started to drip down his nose. A strange feeling submerged in his soul...One he hadn't felt in years...

 _Cowardliness_

With a trembling hand Killua placed his yo-yo in his pocket, then sputtered out an apology. "I_...s-sorry! I'm sorry!"

Chrollo calmly took a seat. Drumming his slender tan fingers, on the arm of the resting big reclining chair, a almost creepy overly friendly curl appeared on his lips. "Yes, yes... I know you are." He purposely stalled humming a bit before saying, "Anyway, Kalluto is out with the rest of the gang now. He's not a big fan of Gon. So he asked to leave the house for a while."

"Not a big fan of Gon..?" Killua spoke out softly. He could definitely configure why Kalluto wasn't very fond of Gon. the last time they met, Gon had broken his wrist. So that was pretty bad.

"You heard me clearly." Chrollo's fingers seemed to pick up speed on the side of his chair. It was almost as if he was analyzing, Killua, taking mental notes of his reaction time, and such. His sneaky eyes drifting to the corner of his sockets to look at the boy up and down. "So, I declare a proposition. I can reprehend him since he will never quit on his own free will and leave. But..." He paused his fingers to raise them up and point at Killua fiercely, "You have to take his place as number 4 on the phantom troupe."

At that sudden proposal, Killua felt his heart skip a beat. The realization seemed to be dawning on him that Chrollo was serious. Actually dead ass, about having Killua join. It would be easy too. It would be easy as one, two, three…. In a way, Killua was confused by the proposal. So he weighed his feelings:

 _1) He was pissed that only bad shit had come from them._

 _2) He was ticked off they'd taken him and Gon forcing them in here._

 _3) He wanted to blamed Gon's lil baby bump situation on Chrollo entirely._

 _4) He really hated taking orders from people. Heck, he hated being controlled by his own family._

Overall, Killua hated everything that Chrollo was giving to him and offering for him. The very idea of accepting such a thing made Killua sick to his gut.

Still before Killua could properly reject he figured he had to dig around for more clues, "What do you need me for anyway?"

Figuring that he had nothing to lose for spilling the beans, Chrollo confessed. "A task of entering the bar of fools. I know you've heard of it." He gave a lopsided sound of sincerity, "It's only accessible by assassins."

"Pff, well I've _never_ been there. It's top secret and only few know of the location."

"Illumi does. You can get the info from him."

"If I go to him, I'll put Gon and the child at risk." Killua was already worried enough about that. So he shot down the brief idea at all, "I'm not doing that. I'm already a threat just being around them." He spoke huskily unable to wrap his mind around ever accepting it, at all.

 _Not again. Not ever again…_ Killua wasn't going to act crazy. He was going to keep a cool head and figure this out. And if he couldn't figure this out, he'd find someone (Chrollo) and beat the shit out of them to make himself feel better.

 _That's right. Take your rage out on other people..._

 _It's their fault._

 _They made you so angry._

"No risk. None at all. The Phantom Troupe," Chrollo gave a reminder, "We PROTECT EACH OTHER." He sung it out like it was some prideful action worthy to be praised. He sounded more like a tv commercial as he urged, "That's right protection for you, Kalluto, Gon and little one! All for your service in the gang." He finished up spitting the bull like some advertisement on the radio with a way too hyped voice.

Killua rolled his eyes. He configured all of Chrollo's games. Chrollo was trying to draw a bargain. One that was kinda impossible. Since, Killua needed protection from himself—to protect Gon. He needed Gon to gain enough self confidence and be strong enough to protect the baby. What he needed was a whole entire guard squad.

If anything, Chrollo's drive to get him to join only seemed to make Killua more intrigued by the stuff going on. He asked more deeper questions, "What business do you have the bar of fools anyway?"

"Corruption. Absolute boisterous destruction."

"How do you propose?"

"You find the bar of fools… fight Hisoka."

"OH HELL! I was all with ya until I HEARD HISOKA. I'm keeping Gon and my family far far _far_ away from that CRAZY CLOWN BITCH!"

"Fine… fine then just-"

"Why are you trusting me to do some dirty work about Hisoka?"

Slipping his feet up gracefully on the reclining chair, Chrollo restated the obvious, "Hisoka is everyone's enemy. The enemy of my enemy is my friend." He rolled his tongue gracefully, "Gon, Leorio and yourself are my friends."

"What about Kurapika?" Killua challenged knowing all about their history.

"He's a more complex relationship. That's why I kept it simple." Chrollo bragged, "I had to get you two. I knew you both would be much easier to convince.."

At first Killua couldn't tell if Chrollo said that just to agitate and get under his skin. Because Killua was really ready to shout, "What? All that bait you laid for us? You made us walk right into this." At the top of his lungs. Still once more he was willing to hold back.

It was strange but interesting how Chrollo could hold and carry a conversation. Despite all the need to outburst Killua felt he could not speak them into existence. It was almost a warning from each face Chrollo made to not over step the unspoken line in the sand because there was only so much stupidity able to be handled at once.

Killua grit his teeth recalling how no doubt they'd been set up. It wasn't like he was expecting anything much better from a thug lord. "I have no need for me to fancy you." He huffed, shoving his hands into his pockets. "I'm not anything, but upset with you. I hate people like you. People who take advantage of others and try to boss them around. That's the main reason I hate the Hunter's association."

"Pff… no it's not." Chrollo scoffed knowing better than to believe such a bluff. His eyes shined as he instructed, "Come now, speak to me the truth. I at least deserve that, don't I? We're not so different… are we?"

"Well…" Killua was prepared to restate all the very obvious differences about them. Mostly number one on his list being how firmly he believed that Chrollo was a crazy fuck, with no heart and only loyalty to his crew. Instead Killua took the safe route rolling his eyes, "It doesn't matter what we have in common. Our goals aren't the same."

"I beg to differ. We're both wanted men." Chrollo stated emotionless, "We both want to live our lives happily away from the cops, right?" The black haired male leaned forward observing how Killua seemed to shrink back surprised that he had seen through him.

Killua held his breath, for a quick second. He toned down the path of electricity running wild through him. Almost trying to take in all this inconsideration. Still his heart remained empty of pity when it came to suggesting any forgiveness of Chrollo.

 _He was mad._

Chrollo knew how to build off this as he chuckled, "What makes us different doesn't overthrow what makes us human. We're all just trying to survive out here."

Through his taunting eyes he witnessed an almost shift in Killua's stance. It was still bold and fight ready, yet also _too_ relaxing.

Killua seemed conflicted as if battling down all the words he wanted to say; ones unable to be said. His face became a bit lost as his eyebrows closed in more tightly together, his eyes growing foggy. On his toes he rocked back and forth a bit.

Chrollo didn't like how Killua was keeping his lips sealed. The thug _needed_ answers, _not_ never ending waves of absolute silence.

Testing to see if speaking this would strike a nerve, Chrollo hummed, "You only get hurt trying to protect people." He gave a nod at Killua with a smile lingering on his pink lips. "You know that better than anyone else. Don't you? Each time you try to help Gon. It ALWAYS backfires."

' _Just like now.'_ Killua's brain informed him of this relevant fact, ' _Gon is in one of those rooms worried his ass off about something you did trying to help him. Gon is worried about the child… YOUR child_.'

"No! YOU LIAR!" Killua thundered out. He didn't know if he was talking to himself or Chrollo. All Killua could do was throw his hands up, as he found himself saying, "If someone falls you prop them back up." His blue orbs darted over to the older man. "That's what happens between Gon and I. I love my sunshine! He's never done anything bad in his life and he doesn't deserve to end up like…. like…"

"Like what?" Chrollo challenges raising his eyebrows. "Like _you_? He doesn't deserve to end up, having his hopes and dreams demolished." Then he chuckled darkly, "Oh wait... you mean become a heartless monster? Hehe, you don't want _that_ side of Gon to pour out again. I imagine even if that did happen years ago, you're still horrified."

"I-" Killua felt the words get caught up in his throat. It was like some unknown source had started choking him. Choking and shaking him up to where suddenly the whole entire room seemed to be spinning all around Killua at top speed.

Chrollo pointed directly at Killua. His cool collected expression sending a bad feeling through the air. The vibes were choppy and felt like daggers to cut through to the truth as Chrollo spoke, "There's no denying the sorrow behind those cold blue eyes. It's more than just training. Your parents broke your spirit. So now just like Illumi said, You only hurt others and face the blame of rouge decision making because the beast within you is uncomfortable."

"OH SHUT YOUR SHIT! I-..." Killua found the words get caught up in his throat again. He squealed out, "I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. It's LEGIT THAT MUCH OF A L—"

"You saw what you wanted in Gon. You love Gon, because of what Gon has. You're envious." Chrollo stated as if it was so clear as day. He flipped his hair sassy listings out, "You love Gon for his smile, his laugh, his happy-go-lucky attitude. That's the Gon you fell in love with. You only love all the parts you fail to have and that you know, YOU'LL NEVER HAVE."

"THAT'S NOT TRUE!" Killua yelled back fiercely. He grabbed his pounding head trying to come to terms with it all. "I love Gon for Gon. Not for anything he..."

"Then why do you get so upset when Gon doesn't listen to you? Why do you have the urge to be controlling? Isn't it obvious?"

"It's… It not… _just_ because my parents…"

"Your parents stole away all your joy. They stole that little excited once cheerful child within you, Killua. And Gon offered you a way to get it back. Your mind says you love Gon, because of how Gon makes you feel when you see him. When you see Gon's smile, it reminds you… that YOU CAN SMILE. But deep down you know..."

Killua swallowed a lump in his throat admitting, "It will never be the same." He murmured more softly, "Water is ever really the same after its been soiled."

Chrollo pointed at himself proclaiming, "Just like me." He snickered lowly as the paced around Killua sizing him up. "Love is temporary, _power is forever_." His eyes cut a hole right through Killua's heart as narrowed them. "Your parents made sure you understood that above anything else."

That was the true horror, of Chrollo Lucifer. He knew how to find everyone's strength and weaknesses just to exploit them. It gave him the upper hand in any given situation to swing it over into his advantage.

The true thrill for him, was really watching how the realization dawned on Killua's face. It seemed like a storm was passing over it. The white haired male trembling his mouth hanging open as his head spun at this stunning discovery of himself.

Killua didn't want to believe that Chrollo was right. Yet the more he tried hard not to think and focus on it, the more he fought himself sinking into belief that it might be true.

"We cannot deny the love that burns deep within us for each other." Killua sputtered out like a broken faucet. Still ensuring that he made clear of his ' _love_ ' for Gon.

 _Killua really did love Gon. He did with his whole entire heart._

"What you love, isn't really Gon is it? If you loved him, you wouldn't have tried to kill yourself. But even you knew, that anything materialistic could be lost but your self-proclaimed love could be felt forever even in death." Chrollo pointed this out basically silencing Killua's whole entire counter argument.

"I… I never look at Gon that way!" Killua started to plead. "I —Just I want the best for Gon. I didn't mean… I.." Killua voice broke holding down a cry as sadness swept over him of what his longing had actually done. "Didn't mean to get him pregnant! It was a mistake! All of it! I just wanted Gon to be mine. I want what he has...and.. and.."

"That lil spunk of _yours_ growing in Gon is the cost of _greed_. You planted it in there, and your actions won't go unpunished, Killua." Chrollo clicked his tongue. "Nobody's actions does." He paused for a second, "Not that you actually have any shame. Not that you haven't lied your ass off already about it."

"No, it's only because my parents… if they find out.. if I cannot keep Gon happy… if…"

"If you fail?"

Killua felt tears start to fall from his eyes as he confirmed, "If I fail…." His voice tampered down heavy with grief. He hung his head as his poofy white hair covered his expression, "This perfect facade I put up around myself becomes _useless_. I'll snap. I'll probably go full on psychotic… unable to control myself."

Chrollo's smirk grew more dastardly as he rose to his feet. He cheered, "Yes! Killua, I think you've finally put together the puzzle. The real question is what are you gonna do to keep it all together?"

Slowly Killua started nodding his head. "I will keep Gon by my side of course. We can be happy… shared happiness. I'LL FIX HIM. I'll fully fulfill Gon!" A bright idea struck him, "Gon wants to be on tv after all. I'm gonna make us stars!"

 _Killua knew Gon belonged next to him. He wouldn't have it any other way._

"What plan do you suppose this is possible from?"

"I don't know. But I'll make a way… I'll make a way for my family."

"I have connections to Tv producers."

"You do? You… can.. can hook.. us? Hook us up?"

"That's no problem. Just listen and obey everything I say from now on. And have no doubt," A slick satisfied smile came on Chrollo's face as he rose up to come face to face with Killua. "With the Phantom Troupe, you'll get to save your precious sunshine and your lil spunk growing within him."

Killua and Chrollo did have that in common. They could fake anything like a professional actor.

 _It was easy to ACT_.

It was harder to step out from behind the mask, and reveal the truth to people. Mostly because the truth sucked. The truth sucked and smelled like an ass after taking a shit. Which was why nobody wanted it.

Killua had learned very early on in life that most people wanted, _fabrications_.

 _FABRICATIONS : To disguise the truth rather than abolish it altogether._

Chrollo offered out his hand temptingly waiting for Killua to agree with him.

Boldly his hands hung out there, his eyes seemed innocent enough if they weren't so locked into reading Killua's every move.

It was pure greed that drove Killua to agree. No hesitation filled him because hope and want kicked any second guesses out the equation. He hastily took up Chrollo's offer, their hands meeting like a evil transaction of power occurred. Killua swore he saw lighting crackle and lock around their hands. It was like a sealed covenant between them, ensuring neither one of them broke their end of the deal.

"Sunrise. At the crack of dawn, you and Gon come here." Chrollo offered a time and place for them to meet up.

"Remember to fire Kalluto as well." Killua reminded him, confirming the deal. His blue eyes turning almost lifeless as his mind came to the conclusion that nothing else really mattered if Gon didn't get to be with him.

Killua was literally freely giving himself up to the greed…

' _Lucifer was an angel before he became the devil. That's how he knows what people want and think. Why he's such a good manipulator…'_ Because here Chrollo Lucifer was….The devil in human flesh~ that Killua had just made a deal with.


	22. Do n t sh ak e t he e mbry o Go n!(22)

"Look." Gon pointed at the front of their hotel room door. "The edible arrangement thing came."

"Yeah, days late." Killua reached into his pocket to pull out the room key.

Gon picked up the pretty fruit basket as Killua unlocked the door holding it open. Killua looked slightly irritated that Gon had brought that thing inside. Sure he paid for it, but if Gon wanted another one, Killua would buy him another (fresh) one.

"I'm gonna put it on the table." Gon said cheerfully. He smiled to himself as he admired the fruit work of art. Then he stole a look at Killua telling him off, "Close the door."

Killua didn't respond because if he would have he'd been like, ' _Put it in the trash.'_ If there wasn't anything chocolate on it, then nothing on there was clearly worth saving. So he just closed the hotel door roughly, not a full slam but a tap.

"Better now? Now ya know no insane person will get in here." Killua huffed flipping his hair, "Not like you have a problem with insane people… you're with me."

"Killua…" Gon murmured, "Don't act like that. It's just been a long day for both of us. We need to think." He placed the fruit on the table.

"Think? We did plenty of that back at Whale Island before coming here."

"I know but remember what I said a few days ago when I was worried about me not being the best home for our baby right now?"

"Yeah." The white haired male responded then he pressed his lips together tightly before imploring, "You're nervous about the abnormal growth? If so I'm positive we can call Leorio and he'll know something." There was a gruff uncomfortable undertone to it.

Gon nodded his head, "Yes I am concerned with that..." He took a deep breath, "Yet no at the same time. Because, I..I...at the party...I was threatened."

Throwing up his hands in a pissed off way, Killua stood up and threw an apple halfway across the hotel room. The fruit splattering at the sound of, "WHO DA FUCK HURT YOU THEY CAN CATCH THESE HANDS!"

"They threatened to take my baby away and and I was wrong! I wanna be a good home for her! I wanna protect her! I made a few mistakes before but...I just keep thinking..."

Strong hands embraced Gon, as the black haired boy glanced up to see fire burning in his lover's eyes.

One simple words came out of Killua's mouth, "WHO?"

Gon sniffled, "Biscuit."

"I'll rip out that hoe's hair and make her bald! She bout 50 something so we _know_ that bitch got dat weave in for the low low." Killua thundered his words cutting sharply like a razor about to be unleashed.

"She... she said, I should go to a group home." Gon's gaze at Killua faltered slightly, "And I knew they'd take my kid away. I told her I couldn't and she..started." He began to chew on his lip recalling the moment of how she pestered him on who he was staying with then insulted his creation. Shaking his head he decided all that wasn't important.

The details weren't important what was important was how conflicted and confused it made Gon.

 _How was this fair again?_

 _Gon was trying wasn't he? He was really trying is BEST!_

"It's not fair." Gon whispered softly, "Why do I feel like I'm targeted? I didn't do anything wrong did I? Is being in love a crime?" He reached out to gently run his tan fingers over pale ones, "Or is it just being in love with you?"

Killua's face reddened a bit as he muttered, "It's not your fault, Gon. I told you..." He began to massage the smaller hand, "The Hunters Association is screwed up. People are screwed up, it's a fucked up world."

"It's not fair, how innocent parents can get torn away from their kids. How they can send kids off away from people who love them and lock them away in a foster home or some place?" Gon gave a sad smile, "But it's funny how abusive parents like yours get to keep their kid for years. They let their kids suffer and no one seems to ever care. The police never pull up at your doorstep." He looked broken-heartedly at the boy still holding his hand, " _Please_. Tell me... _just_ tell me, how that makes sense."

Bitterness brewed in Killua's eyes, along with frustration kicking over him. He let go of Gon's hand hastily. "I DON'T KNOW DAMN IT! DON'T FUCKING ASK ME! AIN'T NOTHING MAKES SENSE! AREN'T I THE PRODUCT OF A BROKEN SYSTEM TOO!" His fingers found their way to another fruit to chuck at the wall.

Gon watched this time as a banana splattered inches away from the apple's it was just below it. Almost as if strangely contrasting Killua from his highest and his lowest points.

"I'm sorry." Tucking his head down shamefully Gon murmurs, "It's just...separating a happy loving family, seems so screwed up to me. I don't know why...everyone hates us. Why everyone wants to hurt us..."

"They hate me for who I AM!" Killua exhorted out ticked off that everyone except Gon seemed to notice this writing on the wall. "THEY HATE ME FOR SOMETHING I CAN'T CONTROL!" He took a deep long breath, sitting down in one of the chairs at the table. "Chrollo has opened that fact up to me. None of this is mine or your fault and it's not our baby's fault either. It's human _greed._ Greed is the reason we're suffering."

"Greed." Gon fretted, "I guess that's cruel irony. Greed Island is where we met Biscuit after all."

Killua rolled his eyes, unwilling to think of how bad he was gonna drag her bitch ass. "That being said, I find that Chrollo's ideals connect more with mine than previous expressed so..." He started to pull off his shirt, his words getting muffled, "Where should I get my Spider tattoo?" He tossed the cloth off. Allowing all the whip burns and chunks of flesh where skin was cut up and down his back to be exposed.

Immediately the look on Gon's face faded. His lips pressed together as his brown orbs stared at Killua intensely. Placing his hands to grab on his leggings, Gon sucked on his tongue. The sight of seeing all the ** _real crap_** Killua's gone through made Gon feel like a weak ass pansy sometimes.

Killua's blue eyes flicked from his flesh to Gon's eyes in search for an answer. Yet with each look and the longer seconds that passed, somehow his mind stitched together an answer wasn't coming.

The only sound that filled the air was Gon's stomach growling loudly.

"You and the baby need to eat something." Killua uttered. He rose up out the chair walking over to the mini fridge. Sticking his head inside he began to call out: "Cheese, Fried Chicken, Blueberries, Grapes, Turkey breast, Chocolate-Chip Brownies, Chocolate milk, Chocolate strawberries, Chocolate cookies, Chocolate, Chocolates syrup." Killua stopped, he reached in pulling out all the items containing chocolate then headed over to the blender.

At the sound of the blender, Gon's tan face paled to almost paper toned. Opening his mouth to protest, "I don't think, that's very healthy f—"

Killua (if possible) turned the blender up even louder to drown out Gon's words. He called out, "Huh? Can't hear you? Be a sweetheart and get me a glass. Will ya, love?"

Gon walked to the cabinet, reached over to pull out a glass. Then he made his way to Killua who ushered him to place the glass down. Doing so Gon once more protested, "Well Killua, don't say I didn't warn you about getting diabetes."

Killua screwed up an eyebrow, "Diabetes, me?" Pointing to himself he rolled his eyes, "That's not going to happen." He shot a quick smile at Gon sweetly. Scooping up his hand he kissed it. His lips meeting soft warm skin as he murmured, "You're my sugar and I get some of you everyday. Am I dead yet?"

At that Gon's stomach growled again. Much to the other 16 year old's disappointment he let out a grunt, "On the inside." He started to head back over the the fridge about to get a meal for himself only to feel how Killua still hadn't let go of his hand.

Killua saying sternly,"C'mer sweetheart, sit down." He began to guide Gon to his seat.

"But!"

"Come on. I'll put a rest to your pretty little mind."

"My mind isn't pretty." Gon informed him. He took a seat, immediately placing his head down on the table in shame. He muttered under his breath, "It's like my personal hell."

"Same but…" Killua gave a dark grin, his blue eyes turning a menacing midnight as he insisted, "I'm _already_ a monster." He let out a low chuckle turning away from Gon.

Honestly Gon didn't know what to make of that. And Gon was sure he'd regret never actually talking to Killua about what he meant by that. Yet Gon was used to having regrets, the guilt in his heart would never go away.

' _Yeah like how you sent your Aunt to the hospital and didn't have the balls to confess it being your fault.'_ A voice in his head mocked.

The sound of the blender stopping along with the sludgy echo of whatever milk-shake concoction Killua had created falling into a cup, filled Gon's ears. However the teen didn't look up until Killua had slammed the cup down right beside his head.

Blinking at Killua confusion, Gon's lips quivered a bit confused as the glass full of milkshake rested before him.

The white haired male promoting his drink, "Go ahead."

"Killua, I like to think I know you better than anyone else. So believe me when I say, that much chocolate can not be consumed by normal peasants."

"Well good thing you're not a normal filthy pig feeder. Besides, you'll probably have cravings soon. It is MY kid, Gon."

"I'm not having them now!"

"BUT..BUT!" Killua let out a childish whine as he threw his arms around Gon complaining, "I want my kid to grow strong and healthy with a passionate love for chocolate like I do!"

"Mmm, I guess…" Gon's brown eyes looked over the drink. Unconsciously his hand found its way to rubbing his stomach. "Maybe." His dazzling brown eyes met Killua's pitiful blue ones.

" _Please,_ " Killua urged a bit more desperately. His blue orbs turned full of passion with his voice oozing with sorrow from his heart. "It's for you and the baby."

Gon reached for the glass taking a sip of the shake it was his best, ' _Only for you, I do this shit'_ As he started to gulp the substance down.

Much to his surprise the shake was rich in texture and flavor. It sent off a spark of excitement all over his taste buds as he found himself gulping some more down. Gon raised the glass higher as his adam's apple bobbed up and down eagerly he chugged it.

The shake was halfway gone before the smaller boy pulled away from the glass. He put it down, exclaiming, "KILLUA! I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE A CHEF! WHAT THE HECK? THIS IS DELICIOUS! IT'S!" Gon licked his lips catching a flavor burst of Chocolate cookie crumbs over a strawberry mashed-up. "SOOOOO GOOD!"

At the hollering Killua jerked his head up blushing madly. "You.. you.. YOU REALLY LIKE IT?" He spoke out baffled, "You're not saying this to screw with me right?"

"How could I lie about this?" Gon raised the cup up to Killua's lips allowing him to take a sip out of it.

The taste shocked Killua himself as the chocolate delicious explosion went off in his mouth. He felt a burst of pride swell up in him as he drank some more.

Gon began jabbering, "It still could possibly place someone in a sugar coma. Yet it's pretty good. Or could just be because I'm hungry…" He paused to look at the expression of mystification riddled all over Killua's face. Then he laughed pulling the glass away, "Don't tell me, you didn't plan this."

"OF COURSE I DID!" Killua fired off the words from the tip of his tongue. "Chocolate goes good with everything especially chocolate on top of chocolate."

Gon smiled brightly placing the glass on the table. There wasn't much left in there but he couldn't bring himself to finish it. He just wanted to admire it, appreciate the freak creation of such an interesting flavor.

It wasn't until the flash of his phone camera went off that Gon looked at Killua again. The white haired male was holding the smart phone in his hand steadily taking pictures of Gon's joyful endearing expression.

"Killua, why are you taking pictures of me?" Gon asked innocent enough.

"Too remember the moment." Killua responded. As he snapped some more, he couldn't actually help but notice how no doubt he was attracted to that goofy sparkle that always appeared in Gon's eyes when he became the center of attention.

Also he couldn't ignore how beautiful Gon was. How Gon's face seemed to glow with the twinkling star light pouring through the window as his black hair merged with the solar system along with his eyes shining like a newly polished bronze sword, chopping away anything evil in its path.

Killua couldn't ignore Gon's lovely body not because he couldn't choose to, but because naturally it was enchanting to him.

 _Gon was enchanting to Killua._

Even with his milkshake mustache on his upper lip, even with his black hair flying around sloppily with his edges up, even with his tongue the color brown.

 _Killua couldn't help it. He honestly couldn't see any faults with Gon at all._

Slowly Chrollo's words rang through Killua's head as he found himself repeating them: "I'm obsessed with a image of perfection… What I want, but.. can't ever have…" He mumbled barely above a whisper as he lowered the phone camera down.

Was he really in love with Gon's pleasure? Was he sickly engaging in a game with Gon's heart just because he was jealous?

 _It couldn't be_.

Killua wanted to believe he made Gon happy. Yet… Killua ALSO wanted to believe that Gon could smile bright enough for the both of them.

"Is something wrong?" Gon questioned as he poked at Killua's leg. "You can have the rest of this if you wa—"

"Take it." Killua spoke out, his words sounding confused as his mind was. He rose to his feet, "I made it for you and the little one anyway." He started to walk away from the table.

Gon's heart broke a little bit at the sight.

Letting out a dull hum, "Okay." Gon's tan hands wrapped around the glass ready to take another round and finish the milkshake off.

He didn't wanna see Killua walk away from him again. He didn't wanna see the man he care about leave his side again. He didn't wanna see THIS.

The voices in Gon's brain chanted, " _DON'T LOOK DON'T LOOK DON'T LOOK DON'T SHOW YOUR WEAKNESS!"_

Killua walked with a little gitty bounce proposing, "And ya know… if you want, I can write the recipe down next time. If you really want to, I can make those kinds of shakes for you all the time…..Like everyday, anytime ya want." He tilted his head back, his white hair falling over his cheerful blue eyes, sending a slight, ' _I love you'_ over in Gon's direction.

Gon hesitated asking, "It wouldn't be too much work would it?"

"Of course not! Nothing is too much for my sunshine!" Killua's happy smile suddenly appeared on his face, "I really enjoyed making this for you! It's no work at all, it's fun. In fact, I could bring you other delicious things and new kinds of chocolate to try."

A relaxed joyful look flooded Gon's face as he nodded vigorously proclaiming, "I… _WE_ WOULD LOVE IT!"

Killua gave a little nod, "I'm going to take a shower first." He went over to the dressers kneeling down saying, "I'll leave the phone on top of here." Pausing before murmuring lowly, "Also, I'm taking the key to the room in the bathroom with me."

A wave of perplexity came over Gon, "Hold on, why are you doing that?"

"Hmm.." Was Killua's half-assed hummed out response. He was half-way hoping Gon didn't hear the last part. Since what he really wanted to say was, " _So you don't try and sneak away from me again like at your Aunt's house or more recently at the Hunter's party. You're supposed to be my alibi. You're supposed to know where I am and hang with me to vouch for me. How are you gonna do that by leaving me? It's because I'm a bad father right? You're mad I put you and baby in danger. I'm a dumbass."_

"Killua!" Gon called out sharply demanding an answer.

Shaking his head Killua brushed off the comments, "It's nothing." He picked up his clothes heading for the shower saying, "Yell if you need anything."

' _You'_ was Gon's immediate thought, ' _I need you._ ' Yet he didn't have the guts to say it. Despite how the notorious Killua, was worth more than gold and riches to Gon. Gon saw Killua as not a criminal, but just a lonely scared boy.

' _Oh...Killua'_ was what Gon often found himself thinking when he reflected on Killua's childhood.

 _There was a fine line between pity and compassion._

So Gon always made sure not to cross that line, since the last thing he wanted was for Killua to do such a thing to him.

Therefore Gon brought the shake to his mouth and just sipped it. Maybe all the chocolate would drown all his problems away.

" _Or you could take action_ " the voices in his head gave another option. Which suddenly seemed to make Gon get woke to this idea— _ACTION HUH_?

Standing up abruptly Gon decided to roll the dice and take a chance by following Killua into the bathroom. He pried open the door with his fingers urging, "Killua, wait!

"Yes, beautiful sunshine of mine?" Killua said in such an alert voice as he kicked opened the door widely. "You need something already?"

"I..." Gon paused as he walked into the bathroom. He strolled over to Killua running water, "Just...feel..."

"What?" Killua pressed his thumb to the bottom of Gon's pink plump lips, "Use your _words_ , baby boy."

Turning to the water, Gon playfully splashed some at Killua. "Something sorta like this…"

Killua unexpectedly jerked back at contact of the water. He let out a yelp, "What the heck?"

Gon let out a laugh. The expressions that washed over Killua's face were more entertaining than ever. "You look good wet." He teased.

"Oh I'll show you looking good wet!" Killua bumped Gon out the way to allow himself to flick some water.

Gon started smiling and laughing at the droplets sent his way then a wet towel was placed over his face as Killua started rubbing him down. Gon made almost gargling like sounds of, "Gaahff.. paa.." as the cloth wiped the sorrow from his eyes and milkshake remains from his mouth corners.

When his brown eyes finally were able to clearly see the light again, they were greeted by Killua's blushing face with cool blue eyes shining down on him. "I hope our kid gets your looks." The taller boy whispered softly as he lowered the towel away.

"Really? I hope she will take after you." Gon giggled, as he brought his hand up to press against Killua's forehead. He bushed some white hair from his eyes, to admire the never ending sky at his view. "I really love your eyes."

"Y-oou.." Killua found himself tripping over his words again. He bashfully tucked his head down to steal a look at Gon's stomach, "You're way cuter than me! Our bundle of joy is obviously gonna look like-"

A huge playful grin crawled on Gon's face as he twisted up his fingers in Killua's damp hair. He tugged on the stands lowering the lanky boy to his level. Gon's nose bumping right against Killua's so when he spoke their lips bashed together. "THE BOTH OF US!" Gon squeaked, happily.

Slight satisfied laughing came from Killua's lips, "Hehe...yeah!" He gave a nip at Gon's lips. "The both of us." Then he inhaled sharply mumbling, "I just hope I can get my shit together before she comes."

"But you never have your shit together...?"

"EXACTLY!"

Slowly Gon's smile slipped off his lips, "So you don't have your shit together on what you do plan to do for Chrollo?"

"Well I know, I've gotta find a bar for him. I might end up killing some people." Killua stated bluntly as if there was no other way to put it gently.

Gon's eyes cut at Killua suspect as if he was sure that wasn't everything wasn't right about him just, ' _Killing peopl_ e' he was tempted to ask, " _Who_?" But he knew the response would be Hunters.

"I really want you to be safe." Gon mumbled as he shyed back away from the taller boy. "I mean, you're important to me."

Killua screwed up an eyebrow scoffing, "Don't worry about me. I'm fine when I'm not around a huge group of people. Plus I'm the best assassin there is!"

"I know you are…" Gon uttered softly.

"Plus, I need to keep you and the little one safe." Killua started stripping down to his pants, "From Hisoka. With Chrollo's help I can keep him and other dangerous people away from us."

"Away from us? Didn't he marry your brother?" Gon spoke out puzzled on the matter himself.

It made Killua's face turn almost more deathly pale than he already was as he howled, "HE MARRIED WHO NOW?"

"You didn't know!?"

"WHY WOULD I KNOW THAT? ILLUMI IS MARRIED?!"

"Chrollo told me… I thought… I thought you knew, that's your brother!"

"Illumi doesn't tell no one shit!"

"What…?!"

"YOU HEARD ME! ILLUMI AIN'T TELL NO ONE NOTHING!"

"You didn't know Hisoka was your brother-in-law?"

"NO! That makes me wanna sock his creepy clown face even more."

Gon wanted to be laughing but instead he was shaking. Mostly in fear of not knowing what else Illumi was hiding from Gon and Killua. All Gon knew was that for the past weeks Illumi and Hisoka were in York New city. He didn't know WHERE, and neither did Killua but their top priority was mainly staying out of their way.

"Damn, what the fuck do you know, Killua? You don't know shit..." Gon found his tone getting more bitterly demanding, "Are you just freaking gonna follow orders from Chrollo, like a toy soldier to be commanded around?"

"Hey! I'm no toy soldier! I'm doing this for our growing family." Killua snapped.

"Well did he share ANY intel with you?"

"No…"

"Then you're a toy soldier."

Killua grew silent unable to deny it at this point but that didn't prevent him from getting a bad vibe in his guts.

Gon sighed, "I don't expect anything less than Chrollo treating you like that. So you shouldn't be shocked anyway." He rolled his brown eyes in distaste.

Killua licked his lips and paused before saying, "WELL YOU CAN SEE FOR YOURSELF. Come with me, tomorrow? Chrollo's supposed to be meeting us." He drew air quotation marks, "to prove my worth."

"Umm.. well.. I don't know." Gon looked down at his stomach repeating, "I don't know. I mean.. I guess I'm confused. So many people can tell I'm pregnant now, so I thought maybe you don't want me outside because I thought you wanted to keep our relationship secret. So that's why I told you to close the door earlier. But now it's like you don't care. I don't know if I should care or not. And I want our kid to be out of danger..."

"Whoa! Whoa! Gon!" Killua cut him off prompting, "It's a simple yes or no question."

A storm of emotions came over Gon. He wanted to jump up and down and yell, " _But it's not simple.. LOOK AT ME, KILLUA!" He_ pointed to himself anxiously.

Killua didn't seem to compute or if he did he took the message as something completely different as he leaned forward. Urging, "Sunshine, come on I need to know." He put his hand around Gon's waist humming in his ear, "I promise I'll try to make the experience as relaxing as possible."

Closing his eyes Gon tried to ponder why it felt like he had to make all the important decisions in this family. "Listen, I'll go with you Killua. Tomorrow... but you have to promise me, you'll rake all the information you can from Chrollo."

Killua smiled nuzzling his nose against Gon's cheeks promoting, "Consider it a done deal."

* * *

 **C̴͇͔̯͓̐ͥ̏ͪͯ̽̒̚͟͝h̦̥͈̮͙ͬ̾͜͠r͕̮̜̫ͧ͒̏͝o̷̬̠͊̒̍͗ͨͯl̵̤̼͎̭͕̼͕̩͆̐͋ͫ͡l̮͈̏̔́͑͢o̢̭̖͈͖̤̩̩̞̣̊͑̇ͯͬ̀͟͝**

̳͎͈̮͕̳͙͔͒̔̋̈̂̈́̽͜  
ͯ̚͏̪ ͍̩̖̱̫̗̠̓͛͐̓͜ ̢̗̭͖̯̤̝̖͛̃͒͠͞ ͙͙͇̼̲̓͆̄̀̓̑̒̀͡ ͔͈͍͉̼̖̼̊͐͐͛ͅ ̡̩͛͐̿͐̇ͫͩ̏̀ ̜̫̥̣͓͕̋ͣ ̵̖̼͖̗̙̫́͗ͫͯͯ̚̚ͅ ̵͇̖̔̂ͪ͌ͣͤ̇ͫ ̛̖̟̮̿̅ͨͣͯ͞ẁ̵̖̱̱̻̖̯͎͈́̒a͓̫̒͌͐̋͒͆͗ṣ̛̺͍̮̹̜͖̹̍ͪ  
̢̬͇̟̳̼̣̦̭̅̆͂́͝ ̢͉̜ͮͩ̏̀͠ ̷͉̄͋͂̓ͭ ̛͎̲̱̱̙͙̝̪̆ͬ̂̚͠͞ ̨̹̻̩̦̓̈̔̈́̓̏͋͛͟

̲͓͎̘͖̦̻͂̍̌̀͞ _**Ŗ̼̲͈͎̤ͤ̃̌͐̆͜ I̤̖̭ͩ͆ͮ̈́̒͊ G̡̪͓̣̟̭̟̀̊ͨͭ̒ͥͨ H̖͇̩̗̞̫͈ͬͦ̂̂ T̡̙̼͓̩͇͉̾̌̓͛ͧͥ͗̚**_


	23. Don't shake the embryo Gon! (23)

Chrollo's condo looked more pleasant in the day time. The inside was very bright due to the large window and the natural light made the vibes come off friendly. Plus it didn't feel like Chrollo had any intent to kill them if they slipped up today, or at least Gon liked to think that it felt that way soon as him and Killua walked in.

"YOU'RE 3 HOURS LATE! I told you to be here at the crack of dawn." Chrollo exasperated as he pointed to the window looking out into traffic. Directly laying his finger on the natural flashlight of the sky, "Does that bright sun look like the crack of dawn?"

"Yes." Killua retorted as he lazy took a seat beside Gon on the couch. He hummed, "Time is an illusion. I can look out the window and call it crack of dawn 2 or some crap."

Chrollo looked at Killua as if he had taken drugs or something, then shifted his orbs to focus on Gon. The pregnant boy was silently holding tightly to his other bag that seemed stuffed full of treats. Normally Chrollo wouldn't care about another bag, the old one Gon had was shabby but this ONE: the fact the bag was Gucci brand, he found himself enchanted.

"So, Gon the bag it's…?"

Gon cut Chrollo off, "A pregnancy emergency bag." He patted the nice leather bag as if it was his personal heaven.

Chrollo blinked twice as if he couldn't comprehend why such a nice bag was riddled down to such specific purpose. It seemed like he'd missed some vital piece of information here.

"Killua, just bought it for me. Then we bought comfort stuff to calm us deown when we get anxious. A lot happened when we went back to the hotel last night." Then for Killua's sake Gon clarified, "That's why we were late."

' _Oh. Ooohhh...'_ The gears in Chrollo's head started spinning. _He understood now._ Slowly the man nodded his head, his short black hair bouncing as he spoke, "I see. Your my guest so let me be of service." He presented, directing their eyes to the coffee table, where there was: a tattoo kit, a bunch of pamphlets and a book.

A book with title: _Welcome to Motherhood._

Gon's face paled, then flashed a bit red with embarrassment. He opened his mouth to say something but Chrollo beat him to the punch. The older male elaborating, "Machi said it would be a good idea to pick these up. She basically told me that you and Killua were train-wrecking terribly. It would be wrong if we didn't try and lend a hand, since you guys don't really have anyone else." He picked up a little pamphlet entitled, _What to eat and not to eat when_ _expecting_ Then he handed it to Gon. "You'll need this."

Killua intercepted the transaction to flip through the big book himself. "You think we have time to read this? I can barely finish a 30 page picture book." He paused when he reached the last page, "This is _over_ 500 pages."

"I figured it might be of some use." Chrollo shrugged his shoulders, "Ah yes, and Gon." Chrollo flashed a pearly smile. It appeared almost more helpful than deceiving. He recalled, "Vital information here, I read cramping is just normal physical changes your body goes through. Ya know the baby in the womb growing causing the ligaments and muscles that support it to stretch."

"Eh? You're a thug, tattoo artist, expert on wombs and a murder?" Gon grunted almost completely mortified.

Killua even looked at Chollo more disgusting than shocked. The taller boy silencing the man by blurting, "I don't even know what the hell a womb is! I don't _wanna fucking know._ I don't even know if Gon has one because he's a guy! I don't wanna know if he _does_ have one. I don't need to know these details!"

Chrollo shrugged, calmly responding, "Okay. Just thought you might wanted to know. There might be a quiz to get on the TV show after all."

"The Tv show?" Killua repeated.

"I got the hook up." Chrollo grinned. He said it like a proud uncle as he reached into his coat pocket pulling out a slip of paper. "On your episode you can thank me live." He handed the sheet to Killua who took it hastily checking over if it was real.

Gon's brown eyes even stole a look at the paper too. "These are the producers of 16 and pregnant…" He babbled awestruck as he reached out to stroke the paper, "We have an interview time…"

"As I said, thank me on TV please." Chrollo's expression was basking in its soon praise. Yet his eyes allowed humble to shine through his face as well.

"So you gave us this crap to study from?" Killua retorted waving the book around. "Again, did you recall your target audience when making this selection?"

Gon took the book from Killua's hands. He flipped a few pages saying, "Well it does include some information worth reading. Here it says after 6 weeks you can hear the baby's heart beat." And he moved his fingers over some more words, "At 5 months the baby can start moving even kicking."

At that word Killua's blue eyes lit up excitedly, "Kicking!" He looked at Gon's swollen stomach, "Do you think she can kick yet?"

"I haven't felt her kick yet." Gon left out the fact he was _really_ wasn't ready to see what she could do kicking and punching. Well correction: Because he already knew what he could _personally_ do punching. And he really didn't want that hard gut punches to happen _inside_ him because he didn't think he was ready to get beat up from the inside and shit. Moving downwards he read, "But it says the baby can hear you too."

"I'm sure they're sick and tired of Killua's whining." Chrollo chuckled lowly, as he looked between the two of them. Strangely he seemed clearly happy that he could help them. A friendly smile rested on his face as he teased the 16 year old.

Killua snapping, "I don't whine! My kid loves my voice!" He laid his head down in Gon's lap, happily humming, "You do believe she loves my voice, right Gon? She must love both our voices. You trust-" He didn't finish his sentence because his ear pressed against Gon's stomach heard the sound of a beating heart.

It was soft at first, and Killua barely heard it until he focused enough. Yet when he did, he got chills shooting down to his toes from the rapid,

 _BA-BUP_

 _BA-BUP_

 _BA-BUP_

"Gon! Our… our lil princess..!" Killua peppered out, "She has a speedy little heartbeat!"

Gon smiled softly, "Does she…?" A bit of pride oozing up.

Killua blinked up with a lovely ocean blue eyes twinkling with loving admiration at Gon. He admired Gon's velvet black hair and pretty long lashes, then the adorable reddish tone on his peachy skin. There was a million dollar smile resting on Gon's juicy lips— the sight Killua treasured the most.

He pulled away from his stomach recalling his discovery, "She DOES have a heartbeat. It sounds beautiful, I just heard it."

Those precious black strands of hair bounced as Gon started laughing pleasantly at Killua. That was at least until pale hands wrapped around his neck, gently pulling him downwards to meet a soft mouth.

Killua had leaned in to kiss him. Even if he wasn't worth of doing so, he had to press his lips on Gon.

 _He wanted to give Gon a kiss each day._

Gon pulled away, then looked at Killua as if he had spectacularly transcend through time or something. The feeling looming over him was zest and unwavering confoundment. _This was it. All the proof of a living thing inside of him._

Pressing his head back on the bulge, Killua let out a hum to the tune of their baby's heartbeat. It was a very comforting sound because the tune was something that Gon and him had made together. The thought of that alone brought a smile on his face. A pleasant smile, that made him nuzzle the bump gently as he whispered, "I swear, I'll love you and your mommy forever." into the soft fabric of Gon's shirt.

Gon let Killua lay there as he kept flipping through the book. He gently combed through Killua's white hair enjoying the fluffy texture. His tan fingers tangled up around them until the pressure on his growing stomach got too much.

Chrollo coughed awkwardly clearly feeling like a 3rd wheel that was never really invited to be a 3rd wheel. So he started playing doctor, "The thing is you look probably about 4 months maybe early 5 so if you're lucky the baby will move soon, since it has to get bigger."

"Bigger..." Gon repeated almost confused at how his stomach wasn't big enough already.

"You need to get more rest, sunshine. You _have_ to be healthy so our little princess can grow strong" Killua concluded, "If you got that, she'd probably be way bigger by now." He sat up.

"I try." Gon hummed as he nuzzled his nose against Killua's affectionately.

" _No you don't. You don't try hard enough."_ A voice whispered in Gon's head.

"Shut up."

" _You never try hard enough. if you did Kite wouldn't have be-"_

"I SAID SHUT UP!" Gon squealed nen wrapping around his hand as he slamming it on the glass coffee table in front of him the pieces instantaneously shattered. At the sight of his destruction Gon's brown eyes widened as his heart plummeted to the floor.

Chrollo was the first to speak throwing up his hands, "Damn you got issues man like for fuck's sake! That table cost more than your whole entire life!"

Killua gave a nervous laugh, half-way thinking Chrollo might beat _his_ ass for this. "Would you believe me if I said, Gon didn't do that and a giant tornado flew in?"

"The windows and doors are locked, how would a tornado get in here?" Chrollo snapped impatiently. He pointed between the both of them menacing commanding, "Don't just sit there. Clean up!"

Gon quickly started cleaning up the pamphlets and placing them in his backpack. Killua was steadily picking up all the broken glass, not minding until he heard Gon call him out.

"Doesn't that hurt?" Gon asked cautiously as he came over to the spot where Killua was cleaning up the broken table.

Killua crushed the glass easily in the palm of his hand. The sharp edges of the chips digging in his flesh drawing up cuts and blood. A smile rested on Killua's lips as he shrugged carelessly, "Not at all."

For a few seconds Killua didn't understand why Gon looked so horrified. He flexed his bleeding hand the glass had stuck itself in his skin. His pale flesh was reddened and the scars that already existed were just opening up again, as he kept wiggling his fingers.

It wasn't until he heard Gon mumbled, "You shouldn't do that. You need a bandage it might get infected."

That was when Killua understood what Gon meant: _freaky monster..._

Killua sucked on his tongue already knowing were all this was coming from. Already well aware of the fact he was literally cutting himself. Everything he did seemed to be so,

 _Not normal…_

Killua's blue eyes fell over to his gushing hand. If Gon wouldn't have pointed it out he probably wouldn't have ever thought about it.

 _Killua had a very high pain tolerance..._

"Mr. Lucifer can you get, Killua a bandage wrap?" Gon asked Chrollo who gave a quick nod and reached into the tattoo kit searching for a wrap of sometimes. He kept on inspecting Killua's hand, "The glass it seems stu-"

Killua calmly used his other hand to skillfully pull out the glass chard. He plucked it from his skin allowing blood to freely spurt out. It rolled on soaking down his arm the more glass he ripped out.

Chrollo handed Gon the medical wrap and some rubbing alcohol. Then he backed away letting Gon do his thing and fix up Killua's hand.

Gon couldn't help but hear the voice in his head nagging him, " _Say something! That's your lover. MAKE HIM FEEL LOVED!"_

Gon reached in his mind to configure any words to ease the ache in Killua's facial expression. "Listen Killua, I think that's cool. How you can take all that pain and shit."

"Really?" Killua's voice sounded actually shocked, "You think so?"

A pounding loud as a grandfather's clock ring seemed to fill the room, but it was more rapid, more wild more fearful. Gon really was hoping that everyone else could hear it. He prayed it wasn't just him. But the sound only seemed to increase, as Killua rolled his sharp canine teeth over the carnage of Gon's ear. His teeth taking a nip at the top, making Gon about near jump out his damn skin.

It took Gon a good while to come to terms that the loud pounding was coming from his heart-that _he_ was panicking.

 _"You messed up again."_ The voice whispered.

"No, I do." Gon muttered trying to beat out the voices, "I do and I mean it."

" _Oh yeah? Pff, when did you ever have to suffer, Gon? When have you felt true despair?"_

"I'm.. I'm sorry." Gon squeaked out shaking his head.

"No, I'm _sorry."_ Killua slowly pulled away from Gon, a frown crawling on his face. Sounding overly apologetic, "That someone as perfect as you has to put with me."

Almost in shock Gon blinked, he found himself once again hearing Killua. He figured hearing Killua was better than the voices but still. He was sick of, "Stop calling me perfect." The black haired male closed his eyes and let out a heavy sight whispering,"perfect people don't hear voices in their head."

A look of almost shock flooded Chrollo's face, he picked up on Gon's sly whisper. The man announcing out loud, "I didn't know you were schizophrenic!"

At that word, the voices in Gon's brain cackled, " _You mental illness outcast. Killua's gonna flip out. He'll hate you. He wants perfection you heard him, PERFECTION!"_

Numbness filled Gon as pulled bandages, "I'm not!" he quickly denied, "I'm not th-hats.. thats not. I said, I hope Killua's parents get dead?" He suggested drawing some words off the top of his tongue as he wrapped up the rest of Killua's injuries.

Killua blinked his eyes at Gon almost pissed, "You're lying. You did the same thing back on the airplane. You start making up crap."

"I'm not making up crap!"

"YES, YOU ARE!"

"J-Just... jump off my case, okay?" Gon huffed, casting his gaze downwards. "We came here for you."

"That's true." Chrollo said, "How about we get that tattoo? You can both make it up to me some other time."

"Hold up," Killua turned serous speaking to Chrollo, "Did you get rid of Kalluto?"

Chrollo waved his hand off, "Unfortunately. I was sad to see so much potential go." His black hair moved gently over his creamy face as he rolled his neck. "I shall miss such effort. He was here for so long. He was such a rare gem, yet..." He paused a smirk growing as he held his hand out to Killua. "It was all was worth it for a diamond like you to join."

Killua snorted amused to see Chrollo still kissing his ass. "I figure he will go home. Kalluto always was a momma's boy. She'll be happy to see him." Flipping his hair, shifty eyes stole a glance out the window he saw the sun still up high in the sky. That meant there was plenty of time for him and Gon to go on a date after they left Chrollo's place.

"So with it all confirmed you ready for that tattoo?" Chrollo seemed to sing out pleasantly. His face glowing with pure malice it almost seemed scary for Killua to reject with the pressure on like this.

Numbly Killua muttered, "Y-yeah..? Where?" He looked at Gon, "Should it go?"

Gon's orbs darted over to meet Killua's watery blue, "I want your tattoo to be on your ankle."

* * *

The tattoo didn't really hurt to get. Killua had been anticipating a bit more pain. Nevertheless, Killua was grateful to have Gon by his side when Chrollo drew the spider on him.

"I guess you did hold down your side of the deal." Killua told Chrollo with almost some admiration. Still his blue eyes cut upwards menacingly, "But now you have no leverage to hold over my head. Nothing to blackmail me with anymore."

The older man was too catastrophically smart for his own good and all the walls he built to prove his superiority were _slowly_ giving in to overconfidence.

Chrollo wasn't afraid of Killua leaving the Spider.

Chrollo didn't need to be afraid and that was written all over his face. He could do what he wanted without fear, because fear was for the weak.

 _Chrollo Lucifer wasn't weak._

He fed off the insecurity of others, there was no way he could lose doing that. _He'd be down sometimes… but not out._

"Yes I suppose not." Chrollo's response fell out his mouth without another thought. A grin still resting on his lips as he slid his hand into his pocket turning his head to the window he hummed, "The world is _my_ big playground. So if you try to run, know you will be found." He whipped around, his earring bouncing as his black hair slapped over his heart piercing gaze.

The gaze read loud and clear: _Don't get cocky and displease me._

Slowly giving into temptation, Killua nodded. He did so vigorously as he felt the need to get Gon and the baby out of such a suddenly hostile environment. The vibes of impending doom filling the condo as Killua dragged Gon over to the exit.

"Gon and I will be going now." Killua hummed clearly willing to leave. "So if you would just open the door…?"

Chrollo didn't seem willing to let them go yet. He looked them up and down before asking, "The producers, you meet with them this Friday, correct? That's the day after tomorrow."

"Yes?"

"Have you figured out what you're gonna wear?"

Both Killua and Gon gave Chrollo a gaze of disbelief. Gon was the first to break away then look his outfit up and down. His sweat shorts and his shirt seemed just fine to him. "What's wrong with what I have on?" Gon questioned.

"Yeah." Killua retorted looking at his own outfit: consisting of torn up jeans and a T-shirt. "We look fye."

"You're wanted criminals now! You have to go undercover wear disguises." Chrollo scoffed.

"Yeah. We already do." Killua pulled his beanie more over his white hair. Then he reached into the Gucci bag on Gon's back and pulled out some coach shades. "We are posh rich, with money to slay bitches in style."

Gon nodded in agreement, "We wore shades and other things on our way over here. No one noticed us."

"They were too scared to notice you!" Chrollo fired off, "Your faces are on every TV channel as partners in crime. Do you watch TV?"

"No. I'm more of a Netflix guy." Gon muttered shrugging his shoulders. He pulled out his lip gloss from his pockets reapplying it to his lips carelessly, "Plus we're doing fine hiding ourselves."

"But what people see is the uniform!" Chrollo expressed dramatically. He rolled his eyes almost scolding them, "If you wanna be someone you can't look like a bum. You have to fit the roll you wanna slip into." He pulled on his cuffs with his hands fixing them.

Killua pulled Gon closer to him as if Chrollo had finally lost his mind. "That's not very cash money of you." He clicked his tongue, "You doubt our expertise?"

"No. I'm not doubting, I agree you're doing good." Chrollo said, "I'm saying you could do better."

Gon pulled down his shirt mumbling, "Sweats fit me better because my hips got wider. My jeans aren't the best fit for me anymore. And my shirts are all getting too small."

"So let me get this right, it never occurred to any of you to go to THE MALL." Chrollo emphasized the last word almost as if pointing out their stupidity.

"Why? I think I look gooooood." Killua raised up the phone to admire his face in the reflection: his awesome eyeliner and pink popping lips. He found himself grinning.

Chrollo shook his head stating, "No. You look like you don't care that you just went dumpster diving."

"But I didn't go dumpster diving…."

"YET THAT IS WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE! LIKE YOU WENT IN HOT TOPIC'S PILE OF TRASH AND CAME OUT LIKE THIS!"

"What do you know about style?"

"That looks prove that you're powerful to people. And if people THINK you have power, they won't fuck with you."

"Well I don't know if I believe that's true."

"You don't have to believe in something to make it true or not!" Chrollo proclaimed, as he started to rub his temples calming himself. "Clearly you two have an awfully long way to go."

"Long way..?" Gon repeated in an innocently perplexed manner.

"In style." Chrollo cleared up, a strong benevolent vibe oozing from his tone. His eyes darted up to look at the both of them before declaring, "Tomorrow, we're going to the mall. I'll fix your lives." Pulling out a key from his pants pocket, calmly he strutted over to the front door and unlocked it. Chrollo held it open for them, like a _true_ gentleman. Allowing them to walk through as he spoke, "This time, don't be late. I will be VERY displeased."

* * *

 **Next chapter WARNING: Everything makes sense and it hurts. Depression, Mental illness, suicide!triggers.**

 **I luv Gon but he can't keep ignoring his problems. It's not good for him or the lil one.** **Next chapter update is soon bc it's already written I just need to edit.~Mel**


	24. Do n t sh ak e t he e mbry o Go n! (24)

The road was noisy as Killua and Gon walked away from Chrollo's place. Silently Killua carefully watched Gon, not letting the preoccupied boy run into anything. Killua figured they both enjoyed the sweet silence of their nonverbal forms of love.

Of course Gon had another idea, he dragged Killua over to the vendors and reached in his pocket pulling out some yen. "Look bubble gum."

Killua stole a look at the noisy street vendor and then kept his face straight ahead. He couldn't stop thinking about what Chrollo had said, he couldn't stop thinking about how when they first came to York New city how weird Gon was acting on the plane ride.

' _Was Gon schizophrenic? My sunshine?'_ Tender blue eyes watched Gon hand the man some money to buy the pack of gum.

Bright brown orbs lit up excitedly an idea popping in his mind, "Let's go somewhere."

"I've never been rolled skating." Killua admittedly sheepishly.

"Let's do that then!" Gon chirped enthusiastically. The shorter boy almost skipping as he dragged Killua near to the bus stop.

Purposely Killua dragged his feet a bit his mind too cloudy to really focus on anything but how that just couldn't be right. And if it was right...Gon would have told him? Having a mental illness is something people should tell others to be aware of?

"Gon" Killua started to say gently, "You know I would never hurt you?"

Gon paused in mid-walk. Clicking his tongue, "Yeah, I know." He glanced up at Killua perplexed, "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because back on the airplane, remember? You were talking to someone."

"HUH? NO! I WASN'T!"

"It just felt like you were doing the same thing at Chrollo's place earlier. And I might have came off a bit cold and I didn't mean to-"

"Shut up, okay!" Gon blurted out, slapping his hand away from Killua's. His loud yell making a few people eyeball them confused. Everyone looking at him, brought back that flight attendant's face from the airplane. Gon could almost see her vividly, her words so laced full of concern as she rushed over and asked: " _Sir, is everything alright?"_

If Gon had been in his right mind back then he would have told the truth. He would have told her that, "No! Everything is NOT alright. I'm _not_ fine. I'm 16 pregnant! I hear things. The voices say I'm crazy! I _think I'm crazy!_ My lover is a wanted psychopathic criminal! My aunt's in the hospital! Please make the voices go _away_! Make them stop!"

The more eyes that fell on Gon and the more people that backed away, the more Gon felt the seconds drag on slow as turtle as mentally he added up all the following events up in his brain.

"T _hat's right. You just spoke out that whole entire response out loud."_ The voice in Gon's mind hummed out to him.

Gon's heart plummeted to his feet. Making the voice inside of him bubble of with even more excitement and laughter at his hopelessness. " _Should have just killed yourself... Would have made things easier? Better than facing Killua like this. After you ruined everything."_ A worried look of absolute horror over shadowed the 16 year old's face as the annoying laughter grew louder, " _GON? WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?"_

"My..my baby.." Gon choked out, "I want to.. hold her." The world seemed to be shrinking everything engulfing in the darkness that slowly consumed him. For some reason the weight in his stomach now felt like a burden more than anything, something terrible, monstrous and _disgusting._

 _"Isn't too late to care about your baby now, Gon? It can die. Die right along with your miserable life. Then the world will return to how it should be. Bright happy and wonderful."_ A brief heat wrapped around Gon as if a hot flash had taken him over. Compelling him to submit as it gushed, " _Real mothers don't put their kid in danger anyway."_

Shadow figures in the world grew husky as breathing increased to a ragged more desperate speed and never in Gon's life did he think he'd feel like this again. Last time he felt like this- _he was avenging Kite's death_. The last time~ Gon had ever felt so broken, shattered and useless. He never wanted to feel like this again, to have the emotion course through his veins and slowly consume him.

He felt like he was drowning, but each time he tried to swim upwards the depths would unleash their fury. Almost like he was in a closed box and happiness was on the outside, yet it was so far away at 19 hours that he'd die before he reached it. He would never each it... _it couldn't be his._

"Why…?" Killua uttered, there was heavy emotion embed in his tone. His blue eyes locked on Gon's almost desperately searching for answers. It was hard for Killua not to feel like he'd been betrayed: like Gon had been pulling out emotions this whole time; the Gon he fell in love with was now nothing more than a ghost memory.

 _Was the perfection an elaborate show put up by Killua's mind just to satisfy his own self-indulgent mood to have Gon be something he wasn't?_

A broken smile found it's way on Gon's lips as he gazed out at everyone on the street awestruck. His brown eyes stared at everyone, as his heart pounded in his chest, his whole entire body began shaking as utter fear engulfed him. Tears began to pour from his eyes as he choked out, " _F-fuck_..I'm crazy. I'm _really_ fucking crazy, that's why!" the water evaporated soon as the droplets hit the ground.

This was the end, where his fantasy of happiness dissolved and his proudest moments vanished as falsely as they arrived.

It felt like another wave of grief slapped Gon in the face- _and he couldn't breath. HE COULDN'T BREATH._ Terror swallowed his good sense as he started gasping, "I can't. I-" The action had slipped his mind as it tore to shred.

"In and out." A panic filled voice coached him. "Just in and out."

"I...c-can't."

Staggering near to the ground, Gon felt strong hands allowing him to defy gravity. Pale finger squeezed his shoulders as the smaller boy quivered to the warm embrace. It was already so HOT. Things were hot-people.. _people made him feel out of place._ _Overwhelmed._ They were talking about him!

"I'm here for you." A familar touch ran up and down Gon's back. steadily Gon took an easy big breath. The scent of nature, outside and _Killua_ filled his nostrils. The taller boy still instructing, "Not this time, alright? I won't leave your side like I did when were 14. That's not happening. I'm staying right here. I don't understand it, but..."

"Everything hurts, Killua." Gon struggled to speak out, "I feel like I'm dying. Like I have no control over my body.." His face twisted up in pain as he groaned, "I don't know if anything matter anymor-"

Killua held Gon tighter in his arms yelling, "IT DOES!" The boy's wild blue eyes shimmered somberly, "You matter. Our child matters. Our memories we share together." A single tear rolled from Killua's eye onto Gon's face. "Those matter the most."

 _Betrayal flooded his mind, next payback, followed by brutal regrets._

"Why am I like this...?" Gon's voice sounded disconnected as if he didn't comprehend his own strength right now.

Killua shook his head murmuring, "It's not something you can control, Gon. It's not something anyone can. But if you would have told me when I asked back on the airplane." He started to back Gon away from the large crowd of on-lookers. Sadly he whispered, " _Why_ didn't you tell me back then? I could have helped."

"I was scared. That.. that.. You would leave me." Gon sniffled into Killua's arms. He found himself being pulled to sit at the bus stop bench right in his lover's lap. He did so blabbering, "That I couldn't maintain the image of perfection that you love. I didn't want to disappoint you, Killua. I already did that to Aunt Mito and...and look at her.."

"Sunshine, who tells you this stuff is your doing? I never would say..." Killua inhaled sharply.

 _He did love Gon._

Killua chalked his hand upwards, almost bringing his pale hands up to the light to stare through the spaces between his fingers. Gon's heavy body resting against his chest as he took in stressed out panicked breaths.

"The voices." Gon croaked, his voice getting hoarse from sobbing. "They say so much stuff and I get scared and listen and do it." His brown orbs turned shallow as they poured water onto Killua's shirt. All the beautiful makeup that made his face pretty was running and getting smudged—it was like all the barriers that he attempted to put up was being demolished.

"I had no idea." Killua swallowed soberly, "I had no clue how hard this trip has been for you." He used his thumb to wipe away some of Gon's tears, "I wish I could have known before… if I did maybe…" Grinding his teeth, he narrowed his eyes. A vibe of determination coming from him, "I would have made more sense why you were questioning everything about not being the best home for the baby and why you were so concerned."

"No-ot.. Not hard! Don't _pity me._ This trip hasn't been hard for me. It's been..fun and..and.. aweeeesoome." Gon began to plead through his heart breaking pain.

" _Dang_ ….even back at Chuck E Cheese when you had a meltdown. I should have picked up on it. How you always went raving on about Kite. Then now with your aunt... you always talk about her and then the whole not sleeping thing. How could I have _not discovered_ it after the not sleeping thing?" Killua's voice turned gloomy as he shook his head mumbling, "I thought it was just because of your wild pregnancy hormones. T-THIS WHOLE TIME!"

Killua bit his tongue to hold back confessing, " _This whole time I was scared of the police and my family. I got too caught up in protecting you, I didn't realize that you needed me just to be there for you."_ Honestly he wanted to say this was his fault. He didn't even know what he was going to do now-since the only thing sturdy in his life had been Gon.

 _Gon who had changed Killua's life for the better._

"This whole time has been something I wanted!" Gon blurted out, his brown eyes flickered dimly with hope. "I wanted to come and go on this adventure with you." He took a few moments and reflected, "Once we parted, and I met Ging back then.. He told me that the most important thing wasn't the destination, but all the fun and memories made on the adventure getting there." He clicked his tongue softly, "And when you said our memories were important. All I could think about was _living and_ getting to the _end_ of this adventure _with you_. So later on we can look back and laugh at them together. We think back on all the fun we had as a family."

Sorrow filled blue eyes gave a glossy gaze over his lover. "That's because you make them fun, Gon. You make everything a little bit brighter." Lips pressed together tightly almost as if speaking out the last part would damn himself.

"Killua.."

"You ALWAYS MAKE EVERYTHING BRIGHTER! YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO SHINE FOR THE BOTH OF US!"

A shameful feeling flooded Gon's heart. He began to argue, "Kil-" The last of his lover's name got swallowed up in sobs.

"SO WHY? WHY DID THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN TO YOU? OUT OF TRILLIONS OF OTHER PEOPLE! WHY DOES THE WORLD TAKE EVERYTHING I HOLD DEAR AND DESTROY IT? DO..DO.." Killua started panting almost heavily as he barely spoke out, "Do _I_ destroy it?"

Gon couldn't stop trembling to each one of Killua's touches: it all felt so fake, all felt so unrealistic, all felt phony. What was this feeling? What was going on with him? Maybe it was the fact that he was coming to terms with the truth.

"There is no cure." Pointing to himself like a madman Gon chuckled sadly, "I'll be like this forever. I'll never _really_ be your sun again. Maybe before everything..before Kite, I _once was_..but now I'm soiled and-"

"I know." Killua spoke out softly. He pressed his head on Gon's shoulder muffing his sobs. He repeated forever go-to word for stuff he just wasn't ready to comprehend, "I don't care."

Slowly Gon found himself giving a broken smile, he could picture them back at Chuck E. Cheese when he had first told Killua he was pregnant. Killua said he didn't care, because Zoldyck weren't supposed care about anything were they?

Killua's hot tears almost seemed to scorch way all of Gon's previous doubts. Gon was crying and Killua was crying and the people looking at them seemed worried. All the voices rushed in Gon's head demeaning him making him feel worthless… because:

 **schiz·o·phre·ni·a**

ˌskitsəˈfrēnēə,ˌskitsəˈfrenēə/

 _noun_

 _A long-term_ _severe mental disorder that affects how a person thinks, feels, and behaves._ _Symptoms can occur between 16 and 30 and can be broken up into 3 categories:_ _positive, negative, and cognitive_.

Just then the bus pulled up to it's stop. The doors opened and through a blurry sight Gon caught a glimpse of hope. The hope that _the world move on._ So what he was schizophrenic? That didn't mean they still couldn't go rollerskating.

"I don't wanna be sad, on such a beautiful day." Gon confessed, a smile still lightly dangling on his lips.

"Heh, of course you don't…" Killua huffed out, trying to clear his head. Still he couldn't. He couldn't shake the fact ' _that_ ' side of Gon that they both feared so much was really Gon. It was an inseparable very sick twisted side of Gon that had wrongfully invaded his brain.

 _Schizophrenia was that._

' _Mental illness. Something I cannot save or protect Gon from.'_ Killua thought, as he looked his lover up and down. Even if Gon didn't show it, because he was so good at hiding it… It WAS TORMENTING HIM. AND KILLUA HAD LET IT HAPPEN. ' _How could the signs have slipped my mind?'_

 _For the first time in Killua's life he never felt so helpless and powerless in his life._

 _What was the point of Killua being a bad ass assassin if he couldn't assassinate the madness brewing in Gon's mind?_

Gon tugged on Killua's shirt urging him, "We should catch this bus and go rollerskating."

Taking a deep breath, Killua wiped his face. He rose to his feet to stand proudly right along side of Gon. The taller boy giving a slight shaky grin, "What are we waiting for then?"

* * *

Roller skating was VERY DANGEROUS.

Gon kept on holding Killua up chanting, "Come on you fought man eating ants only to be brought down by gravity while on wheels!"

It wasn't really inspirational, but did it make Killua fall and bust his ass a few hundred times before finally getting the hang of it. He swore that he came close to breaking his damn crazy neck on this death trap of hard slippery wood.

Each time Killua fell Gon held his hand out. "One more time." He'd promote, despite little kids circling Killua making a mockery of him.

The stupid absolute bullshit conversations Killua heard were even worse:

"Shut up before I walk into your house and take all your pencils."

"But you ARE in my house. You ARE taking all my pencils."

"A shoulder hit my branch."

"You are a tree, my dude!"

Half of what Killua heard didn't make any sense to him. Words hit his ears in a distorted tone. The lights spun all above them giving way to a wonderful blurry rainbow show on the hardwood floor. It almost made Killua feel like he was in a dream like state—But that was only because each time he looked at Gon it was like he was looking at an angel.

Gon's pretty black hair flew around his face as he skated along, in the circle style ring his legs were moving at a slow enough speed for him and Killua to lock hands as they rolled. A pearly white smile spread over his face, as he tried to hold back laughter. Yet he couldn't help giggling each time Killua began panicking and clinging to his arm.

Yet for the most part, Killua's bigger rough hands tightly clasped around Gon's. Every so often their skates would bump against each other and Killua would go it a blind panic pulling Gon close up in a protective ball huddle clinging for dear life.

Gon was blowing bubbles while fumbling with his spare hand in his black locks to keep them from over his charming hazel eyes. The pink colored bubble grew wide as his face before a loud, ' _POP'_ filled the air. His tongue flickered out of his mouth gathering the substance to take it back in and re-chew.

 _Gon's powerful jaws moving where best chewing on gum and some other things…_

Killua found himself in such a state of wonder that he felt the wheel slip up from underneath him as he toppled over. He let out a yelp of, "Why do I freaking suck at skating?"

"Killua!" Gon stopped as he felt Killua cling on to him. He held on to the taller boy trying to prevent him from tripping in front of everyone again.

Killua swallowed numbly as he let out a shaken up, "I hate this. I _actually_ hate gravity." His ocean eyes trembled as he felt his knees cave in.

Gon knelt down to help him. He gave an teasing,"I guess you've fallen for me, again." He popped a quick bubble in his mouth with a sly grin.

"I want to slap myself, for wanting to slap you for saying that trashy joke." Killua grumbled. He was ready to pound his head on the skating rink floor and allow himself to just bleed out.

"You're getting better, you stayed up for 10 whole minutes that time." Gon chirped, offering Killua a hand.

The taller boy clumsily rolled back to full height in the rink. Bashfully commanding, "Roll us to the exit."

"Oh my gosh…" Gon found himself blurting as he started to rolling. He pushed off with his legs rocking, "I can't believe Biscuit called you a dangerous criminal."

Killua looked up from the wood rolling beneath his skates. This time focusing on how the air conditioning blew through Gon's spiky hair. "What?"

"Back at the party. It's stupid!" Gon found himself ranting, "How could someone like you be dangerous? You can't even skate right. More or less handle huge crowds of people by yourself! You're far from dangerous…"

Killua's eyes fell from Gon's hair to the sweat gliding down his neck. Subconsciously admitting. "I'm bloodthirsty." He bit down hard on his own tongue just to taste the tangy rustic flavor.

"Other than that. You're a good guy." Gon rolled them over to the exit. The skates slowing to a stop on the carpet, it allowed them to walk normally.

White locks bounced vigorously, "I deal out justice cruelly. I've killed lots of people." Killua whispered out lowly as he sat down. Steadily untying his skates, "In cold blood. I'll keep doing it."

Brown eyes twinkled questionably before a voice came uttering, "Yes, but when the time comes, you always try to do the right thing. Trying is all that matters."

Blinking for a moment the words sank in Killua's brain steadily working up bright ideas. Parting his lips a challenge fell out of them, "Is that the same about my decision to destroy the Hunters association?" Killua gave Gon such a sweet innocent childlike glassy ocean eyed look.

Gon grew silent and then started to unlace his skates. Reflecting on those words he muttered, "For love." He raised his voice a bit higher with more confidence this time, "Only in the name of love for others."

"Because, love is something they can never take away from us?" Killua recalled Gon's words from the first time they made love together. His gears in his mind spinning as he saw a sincere smile spread warmly over Gon's face.

The pregnant boy agreeing, "Exactly, Killua." Gon sat down on the carpet taking in the moment. All the lights spinning, reflecting a rainbow over Killua's white hair making his face glow, enhancing the color of his blue eyes.

Gon felt so happy right now. He was happy under the lights with Killua and their child.

" _You don't deserve to be happy_." The voices whispered scolding him, "T _here are people still suffering from your actions. You deserve us, your non-stop torment."_

Gon closed his eyes and took deep breaths steadily blowing a bubble to drown the voices out. "Now only if love could solve all our other problems, huh?"

Killua gave a little nod, "That would be nice." He took off his other skate and put the both of them beside Gon's. Then he sat down beside him mumbling, "I used to think money and power solved all problems but now I'm not so sure."

"Hmm?"

"Well neither of those things can fix your head."

Opening his eyes Gon acknowledged, "That's true." Before he could say anything else,

 _Lightly Gon felt his stomach flutter._

"A kick?" He whispered as he gave a happy glance at his stomach. "Not hard enough. This is rapid..."

 _A strange churning in his stomach answered._

"Moving." He confirmed this time. Lifting his hand to touch his stomach, the gum in his mouth popped to the name, "Killua!"

Killua looked at Gon full of concern, "I thought, you wanted to be happy today. Why are you crying?"

Gon couldn't stop the tears springing up, "Because I'm so happy right now. I feel like my heart's gonna burst." He took up Killua's hand and pressed it to his stomach.

"Is that?"

"Our baby."

"Is...moving…" Killua's worried face transformed into an excited grin. He beamed at Gon eagerly, "How does it feel?"

"Weird…" Gon responded laughing through his tears, "It feels weird as heck! But I love it." The boy smiled brightly, "I love it so much. I...I don't know." his smile faltered a bit, "If I'm allowed to be this happy."

"You are." Killua said graciously. He raised up Gon's hand placing it on his beating heart to ensure the shorter boy _felt_ his sincerity. "You're allowed to be this happy all the time. And I'll try to keep you this happy all the time."

A slight pink blush came on Killua's face as Gon's hand pulled endearingly on the fabric of his shirt. Gripping at the threads as if a lifeline was being held out for him right now, Gon in a way started to comprehend: He didn't have to be brave _all_ the time, but when he wasn't that _didn't_ make him weak either. _It_ _made him human._

"Why," Gon blinked confused as his bottom lip quivered slightly, "Do you always want me to be happy?"

"Because when you love someone you always want the best for them." Killua elaborated, leaning in forward their soft lips barely touching. He began muttering, "Just like how I'm about to take this gum out your mouth because I'm scared with all that erratic laughter and tears you might..." His pink tongue flickered through Gon's warm cavern to scoop up the gum, "choke."

Gon couldn't stop himself from smiling wider into the delicate kiss. It was gentle and only lasted a few seconds before Killua withdrew back, the gum now being chewed by him. Flustered pale skin burned against smooth flesh as Killua reached under Gon's shirt to mess with his pregnant stomach.

The black haired male marveled at him. There was nothing but heated admiration in his eyes as his still tingling lips spoke, "You'll help."

Killua nodded. He gave a quick poke to Gon's belly teasing the baby inside saying, " _We'll_ try to keep you this happy all the time. Isn't that right, little one?" His grin seemed to get more enthusiastic, "We're gonna do our best to help your mommy, okay?" He lowered his head to blow a raspberry into Gon's belly button.

"Haha!" Gon couldn't stop himself from falling over. He laid on the floor laughing like a madman and smiling like an idiot as tears came down his face. "She was probably moving so she can get some sleep. Ha! But now you keep pestering her."

Killua relaxed on the carpet beside him. "No. She was probably moving because you were getting all sentimental n shit." He ran his fingers through Gon's hair before gushing, "If you think about it, the sound of our voices and our touches is all she knows. She doesn't know about the outside world yet."

"Our baby is pure." Gon mumbled as he sniffled lightly. Their child was pure, innocent and sweet. "It makes me even more excited to meet her."

"Pff, Gon…" Despite sitting on the dirty stained carpet and the loud music blasting, Killua couldn't find the statement more comical. "We already have. She loves you and is thankful for everything you do."

Gon felt the baby move as if shifting around in agreement to Killua's claim. Which made him even more happy, as he wiped the tears still falling from his face. "Darn... Why.. why do you have to be so right all the time?"

"Don't know, maybe from my parents raising me to do tactical combat thinking methods?"

"You're such a big s'more."

With that Killua pulled Gon into an affectionate hug. There wasn't a second that Killua didn't spend around Gon that didn't make him proud to have him in his life.

 _Killua was thankful for Gon never giving up on him._

So Killua was never gonna give up on Gon. Even if he knew he could never fully comprehend Gon's mental illness. He would help him the best he could, by learning all he could about schizophrenia.

Gon's arms hugged Killua back equally content as he muttered, "Okay you can let go now, Killua." He gave a little laugh, "because I need to pee."

* * *

 **Schizophrenia has been a slow burn since ch2 and** **I hope, I left enough clues in previous chapters for Gon's mental illness. I wanted Gon slowly progressing and trying to cope. It takes a lot of courage for people to come forward and talk about their problems, so when someone is being open about how they're suffering keep an open mind/heart.**

 **Website for evidence/definition: Nation Institute of Mental Health** **topics/schizophrenia**

 **Plus I wanted Killua to get accurate learning he can't always depend on Gon. It's NOT GOOD TO DEPEND ON PEOPLE FOR MORAL SUPPORT 24/7. It's good to have friends and be in love but be aware not everyone is how they present themselves.**

 **I hope to incorporate all this while making it clear Gon and Killua _are in_ a healthy relationship. It's possible to both be damaged and not heal scars w/time bullcrap because in real life, love is TUFF. So Killua taking a step back and accepting he can't fix stuff but still wanting to support Gon was important to include. ****(づ｡‿‿｡)づ**

 **Thanks for waking up today and being beautiful. Thanks for 5,000 reads. Sending lots of love/support to everyone! Special thanks to those who comment!** **Have an amazing day if you need a shoulder to lean on, I'm here. *hugs*~** **Mel**


	25. Don't shake the embryo Gon! (25)

Being buried deep in the darkness of the hotel room, Gon broke out into a panic. He reached out to touch the nearest light source and flicked the switch on. The lights almost blinded him at first. It forced his hazel brown eyes to water up a bit, to adjust. He still forcefully looked around, taking note of the bed he was in, and the desert full of used tissues on top. That's when the realization hit him.

 _Sleep crying._

Gon couldn't recall when he shut his eyes and drifted off to bed. But checking the clock which read, "5:30 am" he could guess he'd been sleep for a while.

Raising both his hands up, he placed them on the larger male on top of him. "Killua." Gon spoke out recognizing that bob of white hair from anywhere. "Come on, S'more. Get up or roll over.." He urged lightly as he shook him. "You're crushing me… you're crushing our lil princess... uhh.. _the baby_. You're too fucking heavy for thiiiiiisssssss." The last part was more of a groan from his lips as he felt light pink ones mash against the corners of his mouth.

"Hush.." Came a groggy tone from over him. Fluttering open robin egg eyes, blinked back at coffee toned. Killua spoke, "I can move without you being loud." He gave Gon _another_ quick kiss before he slowly rolled over in the bed.

Feeling a bit more breathing space, Gon took in huge deep breathes. He inhaled and exhaled and repeated the process a few more times to take in the smell of just the two of them in the room together. His black hair was pressed wildly against the pillow as his brown orbs marveled up at the ceiling. A huge part of him still couldn't believe that this was happening right now.

"I can't go back to sleep." He concluded.

What he wanted to say was, " _I lose it sometimes. It feels like I'm there, but I'm not there. I know I'm here, but where really is here? Killua... do you know where here is? Does being alive make you here? Is our baby here? Are you really here with me? Help me please."_

Killua knew Gon was trying to sound brave but the sound was more shameful. It made Killua's heart hurt a bit as he found himself unable to assist Gon. He could tell him, " _It's fine.._ " Over and over again but that doesn't really make a difference.

"You need to." Killua recommended, he let out a grunt as he turned over a crunching sound along with a heavy thumping followed. "Oh shit!" He cursed rolling his shoulders, he sat up straight in the bed. The covers around him falling to reveal his shirtless body, as he stretched. His eyes darting around to see the mess he'd fallen asleep around: the book, the dozen of pamphlets and,

"You almost crushed my phone." Gon criticized, reaching for the cellphone under the cover. He was about to ask what the hell Killua had been doing with it, but the screen unlocked to his touch to read, ' _How to avoid triggering a schizophrenic attack.'_ in the search bar. At the words, tender brown orbs narrowed as if trying to match up with what was happening around him.

" _You're a burden, always mooching off people just like Ging."_ The voices gave a steady reminder, " _Look at you. Making Killua do so much extra work. He's pitying you. Even after you never gave him a drop of pity… He feels so so so bad for you."_

Rough sharp nails tipped up peach skin, drawing the owner's pupils upwards to ensure they read pink lips speaking, "Gon, you're powerful and beautiful no matter what the voices say."

"I really don't need..." Gon gnawed on his bottom lip cautioning himself, "I'm making you do so much, Killua. I made you leave your family, I made you go to that Hunter's party, and I feel like you joined Chrollo because of me. So I don't need you to do anything more. I-"

"I'm not doing this because I _need_ to." Killua held Gon's face steady to lock their eyes together, "I _want_ to do this. Don't forget it." He countered sternly, his voice almost going into a deep throated animalistic growl. "Everything I've done is because I wanted to do it."

That made a bit of relief come over Gon, it reassured him that this was no where close to pity.

"The Hunter's party?" Gon recited.

"I was drunk as hell!" Killua fired back his face going a tad bit red at the smug expression on Gon's face. The sight made him stress, "But I mean it was still my fault." His relaxing touch briefly left Gon's face as he recollected himself, "I mean what I said, about not forgiving myself for hurting you or the child. I won't stop feeling bad, especially because you saved my life. You were always saving my sorry ass."

The black haired boy shook his head, "Really?" His eyes sparkled a bit as his lips curled up to show some of his pearl teeth, "What's so wrong with that? Everyone needs someone to lean on. Besides you came through for me that time I lost my nen in NGL."

"Oh you were stubborn back then, you still are."

"I'm not!"

"Yes you are, you've got a heart too big for your body. You love and want to save everyone."

"What's wrong with that?"

Killua laughed a bit, "Haha!" his eyes closing as he fell back in the covers to lay beside his lover. "It's ironic, because sometimes you save people like me." Blue ocean eyes shined brightly as a pale finger reached up to playfully tap Gon on the nose, "Back when we were 12, you saved me before I even knew I had to be saved. That's when I fell in love with you."

"You…did?" Gon's face flustered red as he recalled the first time Killua and him came together. The smaller boy could barely look Killua in the eye as he sputtered, "I..I l-llloveee, you. When, really you were traveling the world with your sister. I discovered I missed your company. Ya know, you're the cute kitten type."

At that Killua quickly barked out, "I-I.. I'm not! I'm not!" He shyly pulled the cover over his red face trying to hide. He denied,. "I'm no kitten.. I..I'm a.. I'm a big bad lion."

"Kitty." Gon teased, he started to giggle stroking Killua's soft fluffy hair.

The white haired boy tucked his head down, secretly enjoying the head massage he allowed a smile to grace his lips. Until there was a loud banging at the door. That made him tense up as he hissed, "Who the heck?"

Gon withdrew his hand, "Don't know." He elbowed Killua murmuring, "You go answer it."

"Fine." Killua grunted out disappointed he was being kicked into doing this madness. He dragged himself out the bed and sleep walked to the door.

Carelessly he yawned swinging it open, allowing the light to leak in from the hallway over the darkness inside. At the brightness rush, Killua had to narrow his eyes for them to adjust, he started to blink them rapidly. Unable to focus on the two figures he was able to make out standing outside the door until a familiar voice hit his ears.

"Big brother?" A sweet tone asked out concerned.

From the sound of the voice Killua questioned, "Alluka?"

"Yeah!" Alluka grinned brightly as she clapped her hands together before launching herself at Killua.

"How did you get here? What are you DOING HERE?" Killua muttered, slick horrified. What if his parents had sent them to discover his location? What if they were using them as bait? What if this was a trap and he'd been set up?

She called out pleasantly, "It's me, big brother! And Kalluto is here too!"

"Kallu- _-oof!_ " Killua grunted at the sudden weight on top of him as Alluka tackled him to the ground.

Alluka was enjoying the reunion giggling pleasantly, "Did you miss us?"

"Alluka… Kalluto… what the heck are you doing here?" Killua criticized, his eyes finally adjusting to the sight of them.

Kalluto combed his fingers with his good hand, the other one was noticeably wrapped up. He calmly walked inside his dark eyes scanning over the place as he disclosed "I can't believe, you're actually this much of a snake." His orbs fell on Killua and he snarled, "OUT OF EVERYONE WHO EVER SCREWED ME OVER IN MY LIFE, YOU BY FAR ARE THE MOST A-"

Throwing a pillow at Kalluto's face, Killua scolded him. "I did everything I could to keep you out of harm's way." He struggled to rise to his feet with Alluka still on top of him, "Don't yelling at me for doing the right thing. Who told you to come here?"

Kalluto blinked rapidly as if being told that was a worst blow to the face than the pillow just was. He took a deep breath, unable help being pissed off, he couldn't help being furious, he couldn't help being…

"Do you know what they _did_ to us?" Kalluto demanded unable to hold back the rage cracking in his voice.

Killua's accusing expression didn't change one inch. He just kept on glaring at Kalluto like his whole entire existence was a mistake.

Kalluto didn't even frown at this point, he just shook his head disgusted. "Do you even _care_ what they did to us?" He took a few more steps towards Killua. Accusing, "You don't do you? You don't care!"

"I said shut up!" Killua growled back.

"There ya have it, Alluka! You obviously wanna hear him say it himself." Kalluto fired off, waving his good hand in the air to motion at his brother. He sneered, "He doesn't care. He _never_ cared!"

"Stop saying that! How can I care, when I don't know what I'm supposed to be caring about?" Killua hollered. He didn't know why he was yelling at this point, but maybe it was because he was tired of being accused for something he didn't understand. His blue eyes darted around searching and scanning for any clues or hints of anything to help him figure out this puzzle.

Alluka's happy face expression seemed to crumble, "Big brother… you don't even know… what you're supposed to care about?" Her voice suddenly spun out on the verge of tears, "How could you forget about me?"

Alluka stood up, taking a few steps away from Killua. Bangs bounced falling over her crystal blue eyes that threatened to pour. She looked so hurt and damaged from her torn up expression. It made Killua feel even more guilty for not comprehending what the problem was.

"Forget about you?" Kalluto stiffly raised his bandaged up arm. Making sure his voice fell heavy, "He is partially responsible for _this!_ All he did was leave you! And ya know, he's been gone mostly all my life and when I see him again, I GET THIS!"

"What are any of you even talking about?" Killua hissed looking them up and down. They looked so distraught and it was tugging on his heart strings. _Really hard_. It was like this nagging feeling filling him.

The purple haired girl uttered, "You said you would send for me." She didn't seem to be able to meet her own older brother in the face anymore.

That sudden reminder hit Killua like a ton of bricks. How could he have forgotten to send for Alluka? Why did he leave Alluka with those terrible people back home? Well no.. not home _, that place never was a home_. It was a prison. A prison that he'd left his little sister in.

Guilt washed over Killua, "Alluka, I'm so.. So.. sorry." He reached out to touch his sister's soft hair to comfort her, "I'm such an idiot. I di-"

Yanking away from him Alluka snapped, "You NEVER SHOULD HAVE LEFT ME!" There was tears falling from her eyes now, "But you did! You ran off.." She looked around bitterly, "Here! I don't even know where here is, but YOU'RE HERE!"

"Alluka, let me explain.." Killua started to plead his case, yet Alluka slapped his hand away. She kept backing up further away from him with each step he took near her.

The girl was going off like a firecracker now, "No! There is nothing to explain!" She was crying wildly and dry heaving as if the sudden realization was just now hitting her. And when she suspected it before, she never took into account how terrible it actually felt, yet now that she did…

SHE _HATED_ IT.

Her whole entire body was shaking with sadness, and betray filled her heart making it throb with regret from ever being so foolish. Alluka didn't want to look at Killua, she didn't want to be around him, she didn't want him to breath the same air as her. Not after he sliced her heart wide open like this, not after he threw her kindness away after taking it for granted all these years.

"Yeah, smart ass." Kalluto said sarcastically rolling his eyes. He gave Killua a rough shove away from Alluka. "Save me from the streets, but fail to liberate me from the real threat of my life…" He stole a somber glance at his big sister, "Over _our_ lives."

Shaking his head, Killua was unable to hold back his emotional wave of shame. "Listen to me, would ya?" He placed a hand on Kalluto's shoulder making sure his eyes didn't break away from his own, "Mommy always loved you, okay? You were always her favorite. I thought… I never considered that they would…"

"Beat me? Burn me with acid?" Kalluto was unable to hold back a cold laugh, "Haha! You really are an _inconsiderate_ bitch, to never assume just because you're not there when it happens, it.." He bit his tongue then made a tight first with his good hand. "Look what they did to my broken wrist.."

"I.. I can't.." Killua stumbled out, looking at Kalluto's wrapped up arm.

Kalluto yelled at him, "Yes, you can! Unwrap it, _damn_ it! Un-fucking-wrap it!"

In all honestly Killua didn't really want to. But he did it anyway, he did it because he knew if he started acting weak around Kalluto everything about his ego would crumble. Killua knew he should be playing easy going big brother to the rescue, but how could he? Not like this, not in a crazy family like this… What could he do to comfort them?

 _After he left them…_

At the sight of Kallutos' arm Killua couldn't help but let out a broken gasp. He knew what his mom poured instantly, " _Battery acid_." There was scarring from severe 3rd degree burns up and down it. The skin seemed to have turned red and melted in on itself mashing together in a weird broken way as it kept trying to heal itself.

Tears didn't even swell up in Kalluto's eyes, it was like the young boy had no more tears to cry. He just stared at his big brother glaring lament of hatred with each breath he took. Killua had nothing to say, as he found himself trying not to gag up his dinner the more he looked at how damaged Kalluto's arm had become. It was _sick_ … His parents were out of control, this was TOO FAR.

"They did this to me when I showed them my broken wrist." Kalluto spoke out hoarsely, "Mommy told me, if I was stronger my wrist wouldn't have been broken in the first place. So she did this to me." The whole time chanting, "I'm doing this so you don't end up like _that boy! That boy_ he done ran off and betrayed the family. _That boy_ he is so foolish!"

Alluka let out another loud sob, "Do you know who _that boy_ is?" Boldly she demanded her big brother, "DO YOU?"

A sad broken smirk crawled it's way on Killua's face, as he tucked a strand of white hair behind his ear. "I'm _that boy_." He confirmed without a moment's hesitation. "Aka, the rogue prodigy." His blue eyes flushed full of sorrow as he looked at his siblings, "And I'm sorry I did this to you."

"No you're not!" Kalluto hollered, as he snatched his bandages away from Killua. He began furiously wrapping up his own arm. "You have that nasty smug look on your face, like you have no regerts! You _don't r_ egret it! You'll never care! Not even.."

"We don't choose what family we're born into. It's not our power decided. What is in our power…"

"It never crossed your mind to be slightly sorry! You're only fake sorry!"

Alluka kept on crying, "You used to not be like this. You act so different now." Her face twisted into one of pure fury as she pinpointed the source of her disappointment. Letting it all out with one angst filled scream, "BECAUSE OF _HIM_!"

Her pointer finger landed on Gon who was quietly watching from the bed.

Gon looked at them numbly, suddenly feeling out of place in all of this. "I..Umm.." He couldn't over the hurt expression that streaked Alluka's face so all he could do was utter, "I didn't mean to take Killua away from you both."

Kalluto delivered a mean right hook to the side of Killua's face. That forced his big brother to drop him, as he struggled to scrambled back up to his feet as he screamed, "I'm not gonna be like you! I'm not gonna be _that boy_ I won't leave others to suffer as I live a life of luxury! I'm gonna grow up and help people!"

"Get him! Get him, Kalluto!" Alluka cheered.

"Shut up! I don't like you!" Kalluto said harshly, "You dragged me out here to see him!" He pointed at Killua rapidly as if he could fire bullets out of his finger tips, "THAT BOY WHO DOESN'T EVEN CARE ABOUT YOU! OR ABOUT US! YOU THOUGHT HE'D BE YOUR HERO, WELL YOU'RE WRONG! HE REPLACED YOU FOR GON, AND THAT STUPID BABY IN HIS BELLY!"

Unable to deny that as the truth Alluka grieved even harder. "I'm no one.. I'm no one anymore.." She had a melt down, rocking in place and hugging herself, "No one ever cared about Alluka Zoldyck."

"AND NO ONE NEVER WILL!" Kalluto rubbed in the pain more desperate for reprisal.

"You take that back!" Killua huffed out, "I do care! And you care too! Why did you help her if you don't care?"

"The same reason why you, _lied_ to her and said you'll send for her." Kalluto sat out coldly, "To use her! To get what I _wanted_ from her: for her to go wish granting mode so she can heal my arm."

Killua took a sharp breath in—He wanted to disprove Kalluto's point. To _lie over his_ point. Yet Kalluto had overheard everything and Killua had accidentally proved his claim like it was a fact. Therefore after being busted in a lie Killua had to create another lie to cover up an even bigger cover up lie.

KILLUA HATED BEING CAUGHT IN A LIE!

It made his insides feel all funny and his mind roar with displeasure. All his ideas swam struggling to stay afloat to push back up their self-made ' _canoe'_ of lies. Each time he thought he might just sink to the bottom and fall into oblivion. He'd disappear into a void of scandals, cheats and destruction driven rage.

 _Why was he like this?_

 _Why couldn't he face the music?_

As if reading his mind Kalluto yelled out all the answers to his questions, "To get attention? To get your way! To be more glorious and benevolent?" His voice cracked a few octaves as if thinking about it pained him. "Why does anyone lie, Killua? Why if not because the truth is something they're afraid of and lose them clout?"

"I didn't tell you to pick up my damn habits!"

Kalluto gave another punch to Killua's sides, "YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE OUR ROLE MODEL! You're not even doing that!"

Killua coughed up a bit of blood, "Cut it out already." He snatched up Kalluto lifting him up easily like he was light as some stuffed animal. "You got some nerve punching me."

Kalluto kept howling, "Let me go!"

Alluka cried out, "We came to help you! We saw your videos on Youtube, we saw theee..em on snapchat. We w-eeere.. So..so impressed.. We were like, wow.. That is _our big brother doing that_."

"Videos…?" Killua uttered suspiciously, "What videos?"

Glossy eyes narrowed as the 13 year old challenged, "The ones with half a million views." Kalluto insisted pulling out his phone he said, "Look don't play dumb."

Killua shot a look over at Gon who looked equally horrified.

Tapping on the screen Kalluto elaborated, "Who can resist a clickbait title, ' ** _Hunter loses control of nen in public_** ' then the fact it has a picture of Killua with that weird dark nen encasing his bloody nails. He looks like a real killer."

"That.. that's my nen!" Gon shouted accusingly, "THAT IS FROM THE HUNTERS PARTY WHEN I CONFRONTED KILLUA!" He sucked on his tongue, "It's just…."

"Oh don't worry. You're in the video too." Kalluto said pressing the play button. "Not only that, but you're a main attraction."

"That is so awesome!" Gon found himself enthusiastically driven as he let out a cheer. All his worries faded away as he decided to bask in his internet fame. A calming smile washed over his face as he hummed happily. "I have over half-a million views."

Killua didn't seem to share his lover's amusement. "Hold on." He questioned, "Who recorded and posted that?"

Kalluto raised an eyebrow as he checked the YouTube account announcing the name, "Some person named Savage Spider XD 4067."

"What…?" Killua's face paled recalling that he never considered Chrollo's part in this even the slightest.

"Don't say what! Didn't you plan this?" Kalluto demanded, "You teamed up with Chrollo because he recorded you acting crazy so you could get Gon famous."

"Awe Killua, you shouldn't have!" Gon chirped endearingly.

Under normal circumstances Killua would have lied his ass off and said, " _Of course! I always know what I'm doing. I knew that you'd love it."_ But on the contrary that Killua was currently getting called out on lies he wasn't willing to say another.

"Gon, I didn't." Killua said. He turned to his little brother, "You said that Chrollo recorded this?"

Kalluto nodded, "Yeah."

The joy fell flat on Gon's face and confusion washed over him. "That… that can't be right though. Chrollo said he was about to run us over and claimed to save our lives."

Killua shook his head, "No… no, it _is_ right. Because I met Machi at the party." His white locks fell over his eyes as he recalled, "She was the one who directed me towards you."

"Hmm? But.. but SHE WAS IN THE CAR WITH CHROLLO WHEN I SAVED YOU!"

"Which means that Chrollo could have _also_ been at the party. If there was enough time in between."

"Neither of them are Hunters tho…"

Kalluto scoffed lowly, "Do you really think that someone rich like Chrollo can't pay their way in a party?" Flipping his hair arrogantly he boasted, "I've been able to get in plenty things for the right price."

Guilt filled a spot somewhere beside their little princess and made Gon's stomach flip-flop.

The voices in his head mocking," _Wow.. good work digging yourself a way out of this deep hole. Oh—oh wait! You can't dig upwards! It's not possible~looks like you're doomed."_

"I'm confused." Killua blurted. The boy looking between his two siblings, "You came here because you saw a video of Gon and I so you took it upon yourselves to help us?"

"Well Kalluto came home last night and… I wanted to see you again." Alluka confessed still sniffling lightly. She paused briefly, "But the video was a huge impact to encourage us.. _me. To help my big…"_ Kalluto elbowed her making Alluka correct, " _Our_ big brother."

"Help?" Killua repeated as if the idea finally dawned on him. He'd been looking at this all wrong, his burning fury for them had encased his heart blinded him from the truth right before his eyes.

 _Here was his little brother and sister coming to him for help._

"I'm not sorry." Killua truthfully admitted, "But I'll do better now. If you still, ya know.. Have hope for me."

Alluka closed her eyes clearly not interested in accepting any apologizes from Killua right now. Kalluto did stop kicking and throwing a fit, he just let out an unhappy sigh.

"I hope you're happy now." Kalluto spoke out bitterly, gazing down at the floor to see the carpet beneath Killua's feet. He knew the older boy was holding him up, but he didn't know for how much longer and he didn't want to live his life guessing like this. He didn't wanna live his life caught up in a game of ' _What if?'_ since that phrase can too easily change to, ' _If what?_ ' when it came to triggering people.

Killua responded, "I never considered that there was a reason you ran away to the Phantom troupe in the first place." He looked at Alluka his voice becoming more charming and endearing, "And I never thought about how much my company meant to you."

There was such thick syrup in Killua's voice that Gon almost felt bad for dragging him in this mess. Maybe they were both inconsiderate of others... _too_ inconsiderate and naive to the point they even turned to Chrollo for assistance in discovering problems wrong with themselves.

Killua kept on running his mouth to smooth his way through a rocky uphill climb to get back on his siblings good sides. "I could never abandon you both. I'm not like Illumi. I don't WANT you to think of me like that." He lowered his tone gently, "If I _could_ go back…"

"Nobody is questioning what you did or didn't do." Alluka sneered sharply, "We _know_ why." Her words came off bitter as if a bad flavor was on her tongue.

Killua knew they were mad so he wasn't going to be foolish and ask for immediate forgiveness. He didn't deserve to be let off the hook that easily. So he slowly dropped Kalluto the the ground, "I'll get some blankets. You can both sleep on th-"

"We get the bed." Alluka insisted aggressively. "Kalluto, Gon and I will sleep on the bed. YOU CAN SLEEP ON THE FLOOR."

A really upset expression flashed on Killua's face as he dropped Kalluto back on his feet.

"If you would have stayed back and protected us, or sent for us like _promised…_." Alluka snapped softly dipping her face to her hands soaking up some of her tears. "It wouldn't have to be like this."

Killua grew gravely quiet for a second, then found his tongue again. "I want us to get along. I want us to be a big happy family." He opened his arms up as if expecting a hug as he called out: "Gon, Alluka, Kalluto and the little one. It can be just the 5 of us." A little smile graced his lips, "I'm not pleading for forgiveness, just…"

"I'd rather die before I put my trust in you again!" Alluka bellowed.

"And you never ever had mine." Kalluto retorted folding his arms. "In fact I wish I was never born!" Then you could be happy! The whole family would. You never worried about me anyway. You could be content with Alluka and Gon then everything could be perfect in your little damn fairytale world!"

"Kalluto that's not true. If I didn't care about you, I would have never..."

"Never what? You _never_ did anything for me! If I wasn't born it wouldn't have mattered, my existence _never_ made a difference."

Alluka grimaced a bit as she gave a dirty look at Killua. A new nerve being struck that got her upset, she threw her arms around Kalluto. Giving him a tight hug she muttered, "It's okay. I love you."

"It's NOT OKAY!" Kalluto lashed out violently. He shoved Alluka off of him declaring, "I don't need your love or praise or anyone's." Shakily he held his burned hand close to his heart uttering lowly as his eyes dripped water to the floor, "The damage is already..." Hiccuping he stressed, " _done_."


	26. Don't shake the embryo Gon! (26)

"Alluka, Kalluto, how do you like the buffet?" Killua hummed eating pancakes.

"Kalluto, I must be going crazy." Alluka murmured, "I think.. the wind might be talking to me." She took a bite from a strawberry.

"Heh." A sneer crossed the youngest boy's lips. "Want me to take it out for you?"

An unhappy sigh escaped Killua's lips, "Come on don't be like this." The 16 year old felt hurt more than anything. He brought his family out here hoping for a good time and all he got was disrespect.

"Let's change tables." Alluka stood up and moved away.

Kalluto tuck his middle finger up, "You don't tell me what to do and the wind doesn't either." He narrowed his eyes, "I'm sitting next to the garbage where I OBVIOUSLY BELONG SINCE NO ONE CA-"

"I do CARE!" Killua slammed his fist on the table, "I DO!"

Gon watched Kalluto deliberately walk away heading towards a table NEAR the trash far away from both Alluka and Killua. The pregnant boy actually felt a bit bad, "Killua.. do you have any idea what to do right now? I mean, Chrollo might be swindling us, your parents probably want me dead, and your siblings might just turn on you."

"Don't worry about Chrollo, we'll outsmart him." Killua gulped down his food looking around the loud and noisy restaurant. He didn't feel like going into how he might solve his rocky sibling relationship right now.

"Ah, why are you like this?"

"THIS IS HOW I AM! THIS IS HOW I LIVE MY LIFE! What more do you want me to do..? Like how much longer do you want me to lie for?"

Gon stuffed more chocolate donuts into his cheeks making them puff out even more like a chipmunk. He swallowed slowly, "Don't push yourself, that makes things worse." He picked up chocolate covered fried chicken to his mouth.

"Whatever." Killua grumbled lowly. His nose wrinkling up at the absurd smells coming from Gon's plate. "So your new favorite meal is barbecue covered pancakes and chocolate on top of chicken."

"I had my doubts too. But burnt flesh is delicious," Gon scooped up some peach cobbler on a fork slathering it in honey BBQ.

"Baka! Don't say it like that."

"But that's what meat is. It's animals flesh and skin and organs and that tender meaty succulent juicy t-"

"BAKA!"

"I'm sorry, I like burnt animal flesh."

"It's just weird! Ya know how I cringe at bugs and nasty stuff." Killua quipped.

"I'm wrecking this buffet because I'm hungry as heck with zero impulse control due to pregnancy cravings." Gon winked as he licked his lips. "Go figure."

They had been here for about 2 hours or more already. Killua didn't have to go figure anything—he _knew_ what was up. His siblings were still pissed and this wasn't boosting their spirits. Killua knew he needed to earn back their love somehow.

Letting out an ugly sigh Killua promoted, "Well I'm ready to go. Alluka and Kalluto are obviously not in the mood anymore which means I need to make em, happy."

"They can come to the mall with us. Alluka likes shopping right? That will make her happy at least. Kalluto might be satisfied too, seeing his old boss." Gon insisted nonchalantly. "However, we can't leave yet." He slowly titled his head up observing his surroundings. Steadily he gazed around before lazily humming out, "I invited Ging to come over."

An inhuman sound got caught in Killua's throat as his lip quivered with frustration. "Why the heck would you do that?"

"I called him when we got here!" Gon began to plea his point.

Killua challenged, "And he still hasn't come?" A harrowing eyebrow screwed upwards.

"No…" Gon lightly sighed. Almost as if it was dawning on him that Ging might never be coming at all.

Killua lifted up his fork and started scraping at a saucer; to hide the awkwardness of the moment, and also to prevent him from sounding like a complete asshole.

"He will come. I know he will!" The black haired male opened his lips to say more in protest but then slowly glued them together again. A shadow of almost sorrow caved on his face as he slumped back in his seat.

"Okay." Killua retorted. Half of his mind already knowing they could wait here till the end of time and Ging still not show.

"What do you mean, okay? It's for sure!"

"I said, OKAY."

"Like… like… you don't believe me, _okay_ or _Okay_ whatever happens, o _kay_."

"Okay as in Okay?"

"THAT WASN'T AN OPTION!"

"Gon, I just don't want you to get hurt. Legit, let go of Ging! Whatever fire you want to," Killua drew quotation marks in the air, " _rekindle"_ He spoke the word coldly, "Has never been there in first place."

"That's not true! When I was 14 we talked.. we _bonded_ , we…" Gon tried to grasp the memories. Much to his disappointment his mind kept drawing up blank…..He barely had any memories he shared with Ging.

 _Yet that didn't stop him from wanting to make new ones._

"Face it." Killua declared, deciding he had enough of this. "He's not com—"

"Ging!" Gon cried out enthralled at the sight of his father at the door.

Killua's right eye twitched at the sight of Ging walking in. The shaggy black haired man was scratching his beard stubs as he talked to the person minding the door. Then he had the audacity to wave at Gon and Killua—LIKE HE WAS ALL BUDDY BUDDY WITH THEM.

"Hell no, this shit ain't right." Killua began to discourage shaking his head in complete revolt.

He rose to get up out his chair and blow this popcorn stand but Gon stopped him. Growling, "SIT YOUR ASS DOWN."

"But! He acts fr—" Killua's words got cut off as a muscular arm was thrown over his shoulder, and a loud booming laugh filled the air.

"Killua Zoldyck! We meet again!" Ging laughed out loud a smile plastered on his face.

Killua couldn't control his explosive reaction of, "BACK UP ASSHOLE!" He slunk down in the booth.

Ging let go in a confused way. He rubbed the back of his head in confusion, "Is that anyway to speak to your father-in-law?"

"OH MY GOD!" Killua shouted as if this sudden truth just collapsed on him.

Gon rolled his eyes at his lover's childish reactions. Soon returning focus on his dad who sat on the other side of the table. "Ging! I'm glad you made it! What took so long?" He happily smiled brightly.

"I took the bus…" The older man began to explain, collecting more material to sew together an excuse. "And it was running late." Ging summarized.

A worried expression furrowed on Gon's face. He was perplexed: _Wanting to believe Ging._ Their talk at the party hadn't went that bad had it? Was their still hope for them? Ging was his father. Even if Ging acted more like a cool Uncle. He was STILL someone Gon wanted to trust.

Unsettling feelings roamed in Gon's belly until, he settled on the stance of optimism. Letting his warm smile spread he patted Ging's hand in solidarity. "That's good that you came at least." He chirped cheerfully.

Wide ocean eyes flashed viciously, "You really believe that fake shit!"

"Killua! Don't use colorful language in front of my son and grandchild." Ging snapped pointing at him accusingly.

Which was awfully wild since last time Killua checked Ging didn't care not once about cursing or any crap. _Ging was nothing but an insufficient waste of air._ And this time Killua was going to make that clear to Gon.

"It doesn't fucking matter! Gon curses all the time!" Killua fired off his mouth, "Go ahead tell him." There was a disconnect between Killua's words and Gon's hesitation to defend him. It seemed to bring a stabbing feelings of hurt through a chilled heart. "Tell him, Gon!" Killua nagged this time in hope his command wouldn't get ignored.

Puffing out his chest, Gon blew it off. "I don't know what you're talk about… You're sounding mad stupid."

Killua's face contorted in almost pure dismay. Pink lips let loose allowing teeth to gnaw on them as he analyzed the controversy laid out before him. He couldn't believe Gon was doing this! Why did Ging even freaking matter? Taking a deep breath he looked at Gon desperate for any answer but none revealed itself.

"I'm mad stupid?" Killua repeated the ending to show how _mad stupid_ Gon was actually sounding right now.

Ging fumbled with a napkin right in front of him. "I guess so, since you repeated it." Now the man had a sneer embedded on his lips as if he was satisfied Gon was taking his side.

Firmly Killua forced a stiff fake smile to be friendly. He barely managed to ooze out, "How funny…" without snarling and snapping his teeth.

"Oh, I don't mean to come off like this. It's just no one really told me about..." Ging's voice drifted off as if he was suddenly thrown off the _know_ loop.

 _But you could never really be thrown off something if you were never on it in the first place._

"Are you hungry, Ging?" Gon asked charmingly.

"Sorta." Ging admitted.

Killua let out a really pissed off grunt at that. Ging didn't seem to mind since he was sitting right across the table in front of Killua. It was almost like he knew that Killua didn't want to look at him so he sat where he KNEW Killua would be _forced_ to look at him.

Angrily taking a plate that was half eaten laying on the table, Killua began eating furiously. Ever spoonful of food he brought to his mouth he imagined it was him biting Ging's head off.

"I know you probably didn't pay, so you can share a plate with me." Gon offered another plate out to Ging.

"Don't offer him anything." Killua spat as he moved the plate away from Ging. He pushed his own messed over pancakes to Gon. "You're pregnant, you need to consume double calories. I read about it in that book, Chrollo gave us."

Killua had no idea in what corner of Gon's mind made him think this was a good idea. He kept pondering, ' _how can I snipe this dude giving him a butter knife to the eye without potentially blinding and/or killing him._ '

Ging began to crack his neck mumbling, "I was gonna eat here with y'all…" His eyes darted over to Killua humming, "To spend time with my FAMILY before I go on another adventure." He instigated making sure to clearly drive this situation home, ' _Life wasn't easy. Everyone who smiles in your face isn't always your friend_.' Ging knew this lesson better than anybody else; the last thing he wanted was for his son to feel the bitter heart ripping completely wrongful deadly stings of pure betrayal.

"I don't trust a word out your crusty ass lips." Killua shouted; for the first time he was overly heated, "You _know_ you're only here because Gon wants you."

"Sure…. All the power in the world and influence the Zoldycks have. They only need us, when they want us. Other than that we're trash." Ging muttered under his breath. He then took another long gulp of air babbling, "Fucking hypocrites… "

At that Killua's mouth quivered, every bone in his body tensing up to commit murder. Proclamation rattled instinct boldly, "You know as well as I do. We live in a world were good people get kicked to the curb. You let your _own_ son get kicked to the curb! IN HIS DARKEST HOURS HE WAS WITH ME! BECAUSE YOU NEVER DID SHIT FOR HIM!"

"I'm not denying it am I?" Ging declared screwing up an eyebrow, "I want you to stand by Gon. He obviously loves you. So stop trying to argue and get fresh with me."

"Mmm?"

"I'm not vain. I'm aware my son might not be all put together."

Gon purposely adverted Killua's confused glance, muttering, "I told him about what happened yesterday, Killua."

"WHAT?" Killua started yelling now. His booming volume caused other people turned to look at their booth. Only the sight they saw was Killua red in the face almost throwing a fit proclaiming, "BAKA! YOU THINK I NEED A PAT ON THE BACK OR SOMETHING? You think I need an encouraging speech from THIS SHIT BAG?"

"It's not like that. Do you hear me?" Gon put his hand on Killua's face endearingly. He could feel how heated the 16 year old was. So he tried to calm him, sweetly saying, "Ging is my father. He needs to know about my schizophrenia and stuff… if we're gonna address all this properly. That's what you wanted, to take care of me properly."

A spray of irritation came over Killua's face. His eyes darted between the three of them. Uncomfortably he took a deep hectic breath trying to collect his thoughts. But for some reason his mind was lost—Killua hated his parents because they didn't care about him or love him. Which made sense, right? So why did Gon love and care for his parent when Ging never did the same for him? _WHY...?_ The answer seemed to be lost somewhere in the eyes of families glancing over at them. All of them were having a good happy time together.

Yet Killua was supposed to be with _his family_ but he wasn't having a happy time. The only time Killua was happy was with Gon, nevertheless, there were always many trouble-some roadblocks in their relationship.

His blue eyes met another equally interesting pair of ocean blue, these belonging to Alluka. The young girl watched her big brother from across the room curiously. She mouthed the words, "Betrayal hurts doesn't it?"

Shamefully Killua hid his face in the crook of Gon's neck. Since for some reason Alluka's ice cold gaze hurt him the most out of everyone's. He felt Gon swallowing dryly, the pregnant male shifting a bit under Killua's newly added weight.

Ging frowned, "You think I want my son to have schizophrenia?" His face turned grave as he ushered, "Do you think any parent wants to hear _that_ about their child?"

Killua grew silent figuring it wasn't in his power to speak on this. Maybe Ging did feel busted up and somber like how Killua did when he first heard the news. A bit of guilt fill him as he saw how sadly Ging shook his head in a pissed off fashion.

The man slammed his fist onto the table bellowing, "I'LL TELL YOU IT ACTUALLY MAKES ME BELIEVE WHAT PEOPLE HAVE BEEN SAYING FOR YEARS. I AM A SHITTY PARENT." The wrinkles on his forehead mashed together as he muttered, "Especially when I read that the causes could be from intense trauma or environmental triggers." Ging took an strained breath as if holding back an emotional tidal wave as he looked at Gon, "I'm sorry. Everything, life... I try to makes sense of. I go on adventures to explore and understand, but...but.. now I realize that I can't. That what _she_ wanted for you, nothing could replace, _her_ , she... _your mom_ left me. It was just me, Mito and you. _You were all I had left of her._ " Ging's breath hitched, too old and tired. Dreary after so many wasted years, eyelids sagged shamefully, "This is probably my fault. It's also gonna be my fault if…"

"It is your fault!" Killua blurted out, feeling more upset than before mostly because he assumed Ging was over here trying to plead charity case with them. "IT IS ALL YOUR FAULT GON IS LIKE THIS!" He made sure to stain that fact into Ging's brain so the man could feel the fire of guilt sting him. "And… and.." Pissed off tears blurred his vision, "It's all your fault _too_ if something is wrong with our child! Something wrong... with _MY FAMILY!_ ALL YOU!"

"Killua!" Gon began to halt the accusations.

"IT IS!" A few droplets rolled down Killua's face as he glared at Ging angrily, "YOU RUINED GON'S LIFE! YOU GAVE HIM BAD GENES! THE DAMN CODES THAT..."

He wasn't about to break down here, but he was so damn mad.

The man who ruined his family was right in front of him. There was so much Killua wanted to say and do...

" _She_ ruined Gon's life." Ging corrected under his breath. "I loved her. But that also killed her in the end." He finally blinked over to Killua lecturing, "Do you understand now, the _responsibility_ of loving my son?"

Killua was too stressed out to wear a face of absolute bafflement. Crystals shifting uncomfortably in their sockets as they gazed around. His head _hurt_ with a special, ' _each breath you take urks'_ just whizzed through him—and separation driving a wedge between them was undeniably wide.

"For Gon? I would go all the way." Killua declared firmly. He was more disgusted than ever with the audacity of the man before him. It made his chest get a fuzzy feeling. _Anger? Resentment? Hopelessness? Impossible._

 _Impossible to comprehend one another._

"Good. Because one day you'll have to make a split second descion..." The older man huffed as if it took a lot to gulp down his pride and confess, "Don't make the wrong decision like me."

Gon's heart throbbed lightly as he tensed up feeling heavily the melody of words that appeared to be singing, " _Remember happiness, remember good times._ _Just know, even if you love someone with all your heart, emotions are just petty things that come and go. So in the end someone will always get hurt."_ How the different tune layed yonder in smooth undertone could be the work of voices, however that conclusion was difficult to draw.

Those brown old-owlish eyes Ging had locked onto Gon like he was the beginning and end of his legacy. As if there was more knowledge and stuff he wanted to test Killua on before letting his offspring free. Time waited for none and words most of the time were best left unspoken. The longing was better anyway~thinking about what one should have said during the confrontation.

Killua spat bitterness, "Sure." _Stupid Ging who hasn't done anything for Gon. Stupid Ging who didn't deserve to be called a father._

There was a strange silence after that almost as if there was no way to spark up conversation. Blood shot eyes interlocked with each other, as sorrow oozed it's way from solemn compassion.

Gon bit his lip, a voice in his head uttering, " _And that's how that go_." Another voice gave a quick reminder, " _But ya know they bonded over the fact you're crazy right?"_

Raising his fork up, Gon started chewing on some more food trying to savor the flavor and ignore these weird emotions running through his mind when he heard the voices talk. He didn't wanna think they were bonding over his craziness, he wanted to think that Ging and Killua were bonding because they both loved and cared about him.

Killua felt Gon's uneasiness and placed a hand on his stomach. He started rubbing their little princess from under the table. Killua whispering gently, "This hurts now. It will _always_ hurt and even if you cannot overcome it, that's okay too." A lil smirk tugged on his lips, "But if you want I'll punch his face inwards."

"Don't do that." Gon mumbled. A new fear filling him—DNA. His genes, the genetic code that his Aunt had scolded him for taking after Ging so much. _Would his princess get schizophrenia too just because Gon had it? Did she have a higher chance of having problems because of him?_

" _Yes."_ The voices answered, " _there is probably a 10% chance."_

Lowering his brown eyes, he peeked at the protrusion of his stomach. Their little angel seemed to have grown overnight (or maybe it was because he had just eaten so much). A burst of relief filled Gon as he saw Killua's hand resting on top of their child.

Killua was here for him. And their child was here _because of him_.

"Don't worry about our little one." Killua pressed a kiss on Gon's head mumbling, "She's strong and healthy." His white hair brushed against peach skin as they grew nearer.

"I hope." Gon pulled himself closer to Killua. The warm radiating off his chest spreading throughout his entire being as he got so close up in the older male's face. Their nose gently touching delicately as Gon spoke out the million dollar question, "Is the reason you get all upset and defensive because your own family uses you so you lost the meaning of contentment?"

Just like that the whole entire atmosphere changed in a matter of seconds. Killua dropped his cool and collected attitude in exchange for suddenly becoming a babbling weak minded star crossed lover. His pale cheeks switched to red as he let his hand fall off of Gon's stomach and he began to rant, "Baka! Don't light a fire you can't put out!"

Ging screwed up an eyebrow yet he found it hard to deny the scene before him. There was no rejecting that Gon and Killua might be an unstable match, but Ging also saw clearly that there was no place for him here. He wasn't wanted here.

 _Just like how he wasn't wanted with Gon when he was just a baby._

It almost made the older man's eyes water looking at the resembling details.

"He only thinks he needs me." Ging confirmed to himself. He said it lowly as he felt almost shame wash over him. Barely managing a smile, _long as Gon was happy._

Ging scooted out of the booth, "I'm leaving on my next adventure since the Hunters thing is over."

All the cheer dropped from Gon's face, "R-really? What.. what about Aunt Mito?"

"I'll be sure to visit her soon. She's in the hospital on Whale Island?" Ging cracked a little joke, as he began to walk away. "I'm sure she's not going anywhere."

Blinking his hot and angry tearful eyes rapidly, the color drained from Gon's face. HE COULDN'T BELIEVE GING HAD FREAKING SAID!

"Let him go." Killua grabbed Gon's arm locking him in place, preventing the upset male from exploding. Whispering softly in the noisy air, "He's not worth it. He was NEVER really worth anything."


	27. Do n t sh ak e t he e mbr y o Go n! (27)

Gon had discovered recently that life wasn't fair or nice, but he really wished lady luck would be more on his side. Especially now, when everything was heading downhill, he could use a ' _pick-up_ ' instead of more stabbing at his heart.

"I don't understand why I have to wear a suit." Gon found himself confessing as he looked nervously at himself in the dressing room mirror.

The reflection of him seemed to have lost it's cheer and joy that once mirrored the pleasure he felt in life. Now it was replaced with gloom when wearing a suit. He took off the jacket part and kept on the black dress shirt and slacks, the bow tie was a good touch, yet it still felt like something was missing….There was still a part of him that really needed to screamed, ' _If the sky's the limit wait till I get through bitches!'_

"Hey! I said obey every one of my words of advice without asking questions." Chrollo snapped leaning back in the little chairs they provided outside the dressing room, "Now hurry up and come out of there so we can see you."

"First of all, I thought that only applied to Killua. Second of all, I didn't ask a question. I was simply stating how perplexed I am." Gon began to elaborate as he pushed open the dressing room door.

Kalluto was chilling next to Chrollo in a seat. His eyes basically shooting bullets at Gon for having the nerve to show his face around him. Which made Gon feel sorta bad, he really didn't mean to steal their brother away. Yet no matter how much he made that clear they didn't seem to get it.

Alluka was more carefree with her emotional range. The girl was having an excellent time spinning in her new dresses Chrollo had bought her. Sure, when Gon had walked out she paused. Mostly to stare him up and down.

Placing a hand on her hip she bluntly stated, "It's not too bad." Her tone was dry as if she couldn't hold back that fashion part of her wanting to critic.

Chrollo clapped his hands together commanding, "Now twirl."

"This is mall...not a fashion show." Gon felt his face heat up as he shoved his hands in his suit pockets pouting a bit.

"TWIRL MAN TWIRL!"

"But..."

"KILLUA WANTS TO SEE DA GOODS!"

"I..I don't!" Killua started to object as he peeked out of his dressing room. His blue eyes telling another story of interest.

 _Gon did it for Killua's sake._

Gon spun around in his suit humming, "How do I look? Magnificent or drop dead gorgeous?" He showed off his nicely formed ass.

At the sight Killua blushed madly, "You look snazzy, Gon." He hid his face behind his white high collared dress shirt.

"Step out, Killua. Get in front of me….. let me see your outfit too." Chrollo snapped his fingers hastily.

Killua stepped out, showing off his white dress shirt and gray vest and pants match up. He did it rather shyly as if all the people in the mall were watching him despite how they were the only people in the dressing room area.

"You look like a fucking Walrus." Kalluto spat bitterly to his brother.

Killua's eye twitched slightly.

Alluka added in, "No, Kalluto walruses are brown. He looks like a seal."

"Yeah that's right. A seal who needs to-"

"Are you really gonna throw around insults at me?" Killua emphasized pounding on his chest.

"Why not? You're scum no matter how I see it." Kalluto hissed, almost completely infuriated at this point. A firm part of him believed Killua didn't deserve to be happy, if Kalluto didn't get to enjoy life, why should Killua? _It wasn't fair._

"Fine. Then, what the heck do I gotta do?"

"Ppff?" Kalluto hissed darkly, "You don't act like you want to care." The boy took out his fan and started blowing his hair back. "I don't want fake love."

"How do you even know what love is?" Killua sputtered out throwing his hands up.

"I DONT KNOW!"

"Then how do you know it's fake?"

"You should be happy to have your existence acknowledged." Alluka spoke up in Kalluto's defense, raising her nose in the air. Her fingers rose up to point outside the store commanding, "So go play in traffic if you can't even be thankful for that."

Chrollo rose to his feet, the taller man carefully inspecting Killua and shaking his head with disgust. "Don't hunch over." He instructed karate chopping Killua's back. "That makes you look like a masturbator. Do you want Gon to know you beat your meat to pictures of him?"

"It doesn't make much sense how anyone would know I do that just because I'm hunched over." Killua squeaked out embarrassed, as he quickly straightened up.

"Hmm." Chrollo clicked his tongue his eyes still judging the other boy commanding, "Puff out your chest more. It makes you look tough with a calm aesthetic attitude."

Gon gave a nod of approval at the action. He walked over to Killua placing his arm on his shoulder, "We both slay in fancy clothes more than we do in regular fashion wear."

"Mmm, yeah." Killua said with a grin catching glimpses of himself in the mirror. He couldn't get too caught up in looks, because if he did—Chrollo might try some slick shit.

"Mr. Lucifer you're really kind to us." Gon made sure to motion to all 50 bags of clothes they'd gotten. "But I think you need to chill out. This is sorta a waste of money since I'll probably never wear these clothes again."

"Unless Killua gets you pregnant again." Chrollo reminded him.

"Yeah, well next time I'll get a condom!" Killua scoffed, "Don't throw me into this." He stole another look at Gon prompting, " _keep him taking and I'll try to read any lies in his expression."_

"All these nice things. When you're just a man Killua works for….Buying us stuff!" Gon once more insisted.

"I'm just a nice guy." Chrollo shrugged his shoulders a light smile coming on his face. "Who likes being kind to others is all. I figured I can _help_ you and Killua be more gentleman like. Ya know with the baby coming maybe y'all could mature." There was deception laced all up in his voice as he still had the audacity to look at them like he CARED.

Gon took a deep sharp breath. He just needed to make it _through this._ If he lasted long enough they might actually find out what Chrollo is planning.

" _You're being a good kid, Gon. If you keep being THIS GOOD for Chrollo he might actually keep you and replace your old wrinkly no good old man. Just think about it, Ging never treated you this good. He knew what a pile of trash you are and will always be."_ And there went the annoying voices sparking up again.

"I just can't catch a break… I just can't catch a break…" Gon found himself uttering shaking his head trying to get the voices to silence themselves.

"Hey! Kid!" Chrollo clapped his hands loudly together, "Stop this talking to yourself madness. You look like an insane person."

He clicked his tongue simply agreeing, "Yes, sir." Gon swallowed numbly, it pained his brown eyes to watch Chrollo suck up all this praising bullcrap going right to his head. He could tell from the fake look plastered on Chrollo's face, under all the falseness there was a smug gleam in his eyes.

"I suppose you do look well kept up. Now only if Killua can be as professional as Gon, keeping his mouth clean as his nice new looks." Chrollo chuckled lightly.

He read the looks of fed up disappointment, however it didn't bring his mood down. He was taking it all in, studying each little reaction that Gon made. _And oh boy, was Gon putting on a show for him_. The 16 year old was tapping his foot against the floor impatiently, his brown eyes darting around every few seconds paranoid.

Killua went to occupy his time by pointing to the dressing room. "I want to change." He muttered still not over all the soul crushing things Chrollo had rubbed in his face.

Chrollo waved Killua off, "Go ahead. We'll go to the register. Gon won't mind spending some quality time with me." He smirked maliciously, not minding how much Gon seemed to be loathing right everything right now. He just tugged on Gon's shoulder intrustructing, "Come on. We got to pay for that suit you're wearing."

" _Pay for it? Why pay…. when you can take what's rightfully yours? You can take whatever you want. Just like how you…"_ Gon smacked his head with his hand forcefully shutting away the bad voices.

He tried to talk louder than them, "I thought villains didn't play fair?" Gon challenged, "Why don't we steal it?"

"Because, I bought these clothes up till now, so I'm going to buy yours." Chrollo hummed out. A slick smile crawled on his face as he inquired, "But I am glad you're bold enough to openly display your desire to do bad. Killua must be having a _positive_ impact on your life. I'll be sure to share with him the good news."

Gon opened his mouth about to rebuke that statement, only to close it a few seconds later. He hadn't even caught how the pronoun, ' _we'_ fell out his mouth. It had to have happened on accident. The voices in his head made him say dumb things like that. There was no way he was consciously making a conscious choice to propose a robbery.

" _Yes you did. You act like you never played the villain before, Gon.."_ Soon as the voices started flaring up like this…. Repeating his name it was rudely unengaging with the world around him.

Despite the fact Gon saw Chrollo standing at the cash register with him, he didn't feel like he was actually there. He felt like he was drowning in all those minical voices that were echoing around completely focused his many flaws, " _Gon! Gon! Gon! Gon! You did real crimes! Gon! Gon! Your actions caused real deaths! Gon! Gon! GOOOOOOOOOOON!_ "

"Shut up! That's not my name!" Gon quipped, "It can't be my name if I'm not even real!"

"Gon Freecss!" The young lady behind the cash register gasped at the sight of him claiming, "I actually don't believe it! Your dad...it's Ging right?"

"Huh…" Gon grunted out with his face flustering dark red at the fact someone had even recognized him. It made him feel nervous as he cut his eyes at her, he questioned, "Are you going to talk about how he's a cringey meme star online after getting punched the fuck out by Leorio?"

"Yeah. You're both internet famous! It must be so aw-"

"Shut up!" Gon snapped slamming his fist down on the counter, "You don't know anything about my dad other than that stupid video!" He couldn't stop the harsh tone in his voice informing her, "So don't act like I'll be hap-"

"With Ging's genes, you were one of the youngest people to ever be accepted into the Hunter's Association." She started to brag like her knowledge of Gon's life and his family expanded beyond him.

"Excuse me?" Gon couldn't hold back his voice from cracking with anger. He was already on thin ice. Which mentally he was cracking a little bit more because she had the nerve to say, ' _with Ging's genes.'_ In such a way that Gon let out a slight demented laugh, "Hahahaaa! Haha! I didn't need Gon's genes to do anything. Haha~I did that all _myself_. Ging hasn't ever been there for me. Ging hasn't taught me anything."

"Why would he need to? He gave you talent!" She chirped out, ringing the stuff up on the register.

" _She's right… Ging gave you everything you needed to be who you are today. You're just a Hunter. Just like him. You went to the EXTREME TO FOLLOW AFTER HIM. TO FIND HIM. Only to reject the people who you really CARED about along the way."_ Unwillingly Gon found his pupils drifting over to the corner of his sockets.

Numbly he found himself backing away from the cash register, his head started to spin as his thoughts just kept on rattling up like a milkshake was being made inside him, delivering vicious chills.

 _Rattle, RaTTlE, rAtTLE…._

There was tremendous yelling over all the rattling, " _Because your Aunt Mito she was right, you were never meant to be a Hunter."_

Gon laced his fingers through his hair as he dashed out the store's exit/entrance. Letting out a scream of pure frustration, "Fuck this shit! I don't need this! I don't need Ging! I don't need to be a Hunter to be me!" His lungs seemed to catch a fire which seemed to spread numbing his legs to feel disconnected from his body, as if suddenly turned to ash.

 _Time to watch his world burn down._

Alluka and Kalluto's eye grew wide as they watched the older boy race out into the mall. The blue eyes girl mumbling, "Is that big brother's boyfriend running away to looneyville land?"

Kalluto gazed onwards, "That would be him." He stood up, carrying some of the bags of clothes. "I sorta wanna wreck his life."

A light smile crawled on Alluka's face, "What are we waiting for?" She kicked off her shoes, then took off running after Gon commanding Kalluto, "Let's go."

The overwhelming sense of disappointment stung the most. Gon felt it with every step he took running away. Each slight moment sending nipping pain of once believing everything once sugary sweet was a facade to things really bitter and burned. Salty tears formed a pool in brown eyes yet they didn't dare to fall.

Despite the truth in the saying that pain was only temporary, Gon was slowly beginning to subdue to the anxiety ridden voices and understand.

" _The scars that the pain leave as residue remain permanent_." The voices whispered reminded the 16 year old of how damaged he really was.

Only this time Gon wasn't running to freedom. The light was outside and he was trapped currently inside the mall. Oh no, this time Gon was cutting himself out of picture entirely.

 **Cu tt I N G**

 **TO**

 **ErASe**

 _Himself out the lines. Making his existence a true mistake it had always been._

"Hey!" Kalluto ran after Gon dashing past the few people in the mall who gasped pointed and whispered shady things no doubt. He ignored them shouting out, "Look my moma taught me, there's nothing that can't be solved talking or beating the shit out of people."

The walls blurred around Gon as well as everyone else in the hallways as tears clouded his vision and nothing but revengeful fire burned in his soul. His head throbbed uncontrollably in sync with his churning stomach focusing, his body was being overloaded; was too much and way too hard to get a grip on everyone seemed like giants towering over him.

Hastily parting himself a path away, aggressively Gon snarled, "Then I choose beating the shit out of people!"

Gon found himself falling to that firm declaration, because he wanted to knock someone into next week. Well no-not someone, it was a _specific_ some people. Who Gon craved to cock his fist back and get it ready to end everything with one punch. Gon was sick and tired of being reduced down, having to pretend each day to be satisfied with his life right now. When in reality he should be taking back what his life had stolen away from him.

"Well…"

"Are you going to stop me?"

"There is a time and a place to beat the shit out of people."

"Yeah, and I know the place and the people. So I'm going to beat shit."

"Alluka, Kalluto!" Killua chopped his way through the crowd followed by Chrollo. "Get away from Gon. He's not in his right mind right now."

"Huh?" Alluka yelped as Killua tugged her and Kalluto backwards. The white haired boy sheltering his siblings from the storm brewing with each of Gon's screams.

The untapped dark aura flaring up around Gon a she lashed out kicking and snapping like a wild animal.

 _The rush of nen.. Filling him.._

He used a harsh bit of strength to fling Chrollo away from him; he took joy watching the male tumble backwards into the wall banging his spine on a map sign making the people around them gasped.

 _They all looked at Gon horrified..._

 _They all looked at Gon disgusted..._

 _They all looked at him,_

 _The same way they looked at Ging._

"Stop looking at me! STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT! I'm NOT LIKE HIM! I'm not...I'm..." Gon growled out huskily feeling like a small bug among all the whispers and crowd of people that gathered around them. He pulled out his Hunter's license. Frantically waving it around ready to toss it into the mall's main water fountain.

He wanted the evil license away from him. He wanted the cursed plastic sent back to the hell hole it come out of.

Chrollo rubbed his head as he rose back to his feet. "Listen," He started to slowly walk towards Gon, "Here it is again, the difference between Killua and you. You defy the world, Killua destroys it. And I go coming into play... _I_ corrupt it." He offered out his hand, "The Hunter's Association made you like this. Killua's parents made him a monster. Yet with me you can both rest easy being the product of demolition. However your actions _still_ have consequences."

Gon's lifeless brown eyes on displayed all the uncertainty and rage mixed into his mood creating a dark sight. Angrily he yelled back, "When have they ever not? Heck my actions are the reason Killua's own siblings hate him! I hurt Kalluto and wrecked Alluka's faith in the world." He gave a broken smile as he chuckled, "JUST LOOK AT THEM. They're doing this all TO TAUNT ME."

"We're not!" Alluka quickly shouted. Her face contorting in rage as she babbled, "We're just salty Killua replaced us for you."

"No! Get it right, Killua replaced Gon with YOU. I was never in the equation." Kalluto threw in.

Killua quickly denied, "That's not true." He tightened his grip on them protectively, "You think I'm selfish. But everything I did was because I thought it wou-"

"Don't lie!" Kalluto bellowed his eyebrows knitting together. He clenched his first with his good hand raising up the other ruined one, "Gon might have broke my wrist, but at least he has the guts to tell the truth!" His eyes flashed violently, "So that's how I know what love is. When you love someone you don't lie to them, you lie _for them._ "

Dusting his pants off, Chrollo rose to his feet. He began walking over to Gon elaborating, "All I know is whatever you get in life and want to keep you have to fight for it. Even if you don't get to see it. You fight for it kid, so someone else can have it."

" _For your kid to have it. The chance to be something you're not_." A voice whispered in Gon's head.

"I don't….I DON'T WANT TO BE A HUNTER ANY MORE!" Gon found himself blubbering out as he punched the wall hollering. "I don't want it! I DON'T WANT IT! If my name is going to be remembered by _Ging's son, Gon was a good Hunter because he got good genes_... then…. I am extremely happy that officially I don't exist. I don't want my work to be tainted with Ging's name in front of it. It's mine! My _burden_!"

"Baby boy." Killua pulled Gon inwards towards him.

"Gon." Alluka gave the boy a hug around his leg.

Kalluto just observed with a face reading, ' _I cannot actually believe we are about to give in and do this sappy shit.'_ But even he reached out to awkwardly pat Gon on the back.

At that Gon wanted to vent, ' _I spent my whole life waiting to have a supportive family like this! And now I won't let them hurt you all anymore.'_ For so long he'd been trying to conform to what people wanted him to be.

Gon had been playing the hunter…. Because everyone _loved and respected_ a hunter. Yet Gon never felt like a hunter, and he could no longer stomach the idea of putting up this facade 24/7. This was the definitely the end of it.

His mind was set firm in his decision. So breaking the hug, Gon mumbled, "I hate the Hunter's Association. They took away Ging… they took away Aunt Mito… they almost even took me away from you, Killua." He blinked rapidly his hot tears making it hard but finally he found a trash can. "And I don't want to ever dedicate my life to something _so stupid_ ever again." Boldly he flung the piece of plastic in the can.

Chrollo had his eyes glued on Gon cutting a fool; his mind was boggled at how strictly easy this all was becoming. Gon was an unstable nen user who now had no ties to any organization other than the Phantom Troupe.

A smirk curled up on Chrollo's lips as he muttered, "SUCH a _wonderful_ bonus to my plan."

* * *

 **This chapter has lots of refs back to ch4 and ch8 building everything on Gon's family struggles. Aunt Mito always told him he ain't listen so now it's time for Gon to deal with the consequences. Next update will be on the 19th! Thanks for reading!~Mel**


	28. Do n t sh ak e t he e mbr y o Go n! (28)

All the way on the ride back to the hotel, Killua couldn't wipe the smile off his face. Repeatedly he would whisper words of encouragement: "I'm so proud of you, sweetheart. This is so wonderful. Now that we both agree the Hunters association is trash."

All Gon could do was nod slowly he wasn't really paying attention to Killua's words but his actions were feeding his feelings. Alluka had her hand on top his. The girl has a relaxing smile on her lips. Then Kalluto was sleeping softly on his shoulder. Almost as if they formed a protection squad just for him.

That was a huge, ' _ALMOST'_ since Alluka found it necessary to tell off her big brother, "We still don't like you. You shouldn't think we're all good."

Killua's happy expression fell a bit, "What do you mean we're not good?" He pointed at Kalluto sleeping on Gon's shoulder, "We look good! We look like a happy loving family."

"Well looks can be deceiving." Alluka sneered darkly. She squeezed on Gon's hand harshly, "We have came to terms that our suffering is not Gon's fault, it's _yours."_

Kalluto stirred awake, "You said that… _not me._ " The youngest Zoldyck tiredly uttered, "Gon you broke my wrist.. but you make one hell of a pillow." His nose brushed gently against Gon's chin, "Mmff.. you aren't off the hook in my book yet."

Gon glanced at Kalluto who was rubbing his wrapped up arm. The smaller boy seemed to be heavily thinking to himself; Gon was almost afraid to speak with him again.

The voices in Gon's head echoed, " _This day might have been fun but you feel guilty. You feel terrible about what you did to him. That's why you can't even bring up or acknowledge it. Handing him just a bottle of water? REALLY?_ "

Swallowing numbly, Gon felt his head start to pound as he blinked rapidly. The world appeared to be spinning a bit too fast around him. Gon knew he wasn't always right, he was WRONG a lot. It just took a bunch of courage to admit it.

" _Oh wait you CANT! You're just so ashamed and insecure._ " The voices mocked, " _Think of all the pain and suffering you caused Kalluto. You think yo shit worse than his?_ "

Kalluto cut his eyes suspect at Gon. He didn't like the gaze Gon was throwing at him. Aggressively Kalluto barked out, "Do I look like a freak when I'm tired?"

"No." Gon quickly ushered out. His headache from the voices started to worsen as he found himself forced to interact with Kalluto.

"What is it then?" Kalluto demanded. "Spit it out. I don't have all day." He seemed more demeaning than anything as his lips curved in a tight line.

"Nothing." Gon said clearing his throat. A wave of his spiky black hair catching the moonlight as his eyes bedazzled. Meekly soft like honey he spoke, "I want Alluka and you to know, you can depend on me. I promise, I'll protect and care for you both till my dying breath. That's all." He gave Kalluto a sincere friendly smile.

The younger boy grew silent. He reflected on how heartfelt Gon's words sounded—there wasn't a drop of doubt in his mind.

Kalluto believed him.

Gon had such a big heart. Such a sweet spirit that any drop of pain could shatter to make him a cruel killer. It was almost like how Killua reacted, _almost_. But Kalluto knew his older brother lacked self control.

Alluka seemed to take this as a challenge more than anything. She poked Gon's cheek inspecting him. "I think, Killua has his own way of doing stuff. Maybe you just matched his ways. Granted his claims are screwed up."

"Killua's eye twitched shouted, "I love ya'll equally!"

Kalluto snorted, wondering if Killua had really fooled himself with his own lies. It was obvious wasn't it? Killua had traveled the world with Alluka. Killua has said he'd send for Alluka. Killua never said he'd do anything _for him._ When it came to Killua, he was _always_ about Alluka…

"That's not true." Kalluto spat out like those words were pure poison. "I spent my life filled with desire of wanting to reunite our family. Everything I did," He grit his teeth eyes flashing violently, "YOU JUST MAKE A COMPLETE MOCKERY OF IT WITH YOUR FAKE LOVE SHIT!"

At that the car seemed to grow quiet. Kalluto had a temper that would do that sometimes. Bitterly the boy took a sharp breath and folded his arms; Alluka gave him a nervous smile.

The girl sweetly reminding him, "I love you for real, Kalluto. I mean even if you don't believe me.." Alluka's voice seemed to grow weaker with each word she said, "I don't blame you." Her tone hit barely above a whisper, "Love is such a strong word and when people use it carefree all the time…. It can lose it's meaning."

Kalluto rolled his eyes, "I don't need to hear that from you."

Killua lumped down a bit letting out a whine of displeasure. "How can I live with this broken heart? Ya know I'd do anything for you guys!"

Alluka scoffed a bit at that. The words sounding way too similar to the tone Killua used when he had left her.

"You'll both make it through this. I mean, a lot of things happen to you both that are seemingly impossible situations to get out of." Chrollo inquired as cut into their conversation. He leaned back in the front seat keeping a hand on the wheel stating, "Like how you made a full recovery in the hospital that time you were supposed to be dead."

Gon turned to Chrollo asking, "Have you been stalking me or something?" It was strangely perplexing how much Chrollo seemed to have uncovered about them.

" _Why would you ask that question?_ _How much more embarrassing can you make your life?_ " The voices teased, " _You make a a fool out of yourself, assuming the world will go your way._ " Gon closed his eyes feeling shame rise in him. His life seemed to be going into a slump and the thin line of hope presented to him was wearing down to snap soon.

"No," Chrollo rebuked that statement in disgust as he threw his hands up in the air pleading innocent, " I just hear rumors that get around."

"From who?"

"People."

"People from where?"

"Can't say without violating a promise."

"Understandable." Gon muttered. He'd learned how difficult life was when keeping secrets from people. It wasn't fun, but it wasn't like it was possible to escape a secret agreement.

Killua narrowed his eyes suspect, "No it's not understandable." He inched over in his seat taking off his seat belt to look directly over Chrollo. "You need to be open with us. Especially when you know sensitive information like that."

"Look Killua, I LIKE YOU. I really LIKE GON AND YOU." Chrollo smirked playfully. He reached up and tapped his nose, "But I don't want you to have this."

"This?"

"All the spies gathering intel. It's a dangerous life on top." Chrollo retorted with a malicious glint in his eye, "Just as you and Killua will soon find out."

"I don't wanna find out." Killua grumbled, "I dream about Gon and I not having to run anymore."

"I dream about not having to chase your sorry asses anymore."

"You don't HAVE TO."

"That's true. But I have my reasons for doing so."

"Yeah, like recording them on social media to promote your goals." Alluka spoke up boldly. A determined look coming on her face unwilling to have anyone make a fool out of her family.

At first a bit of shock came over Chrollo's face. At the mention of the recording it caught him off guard. Almost as if the gangster was riddled a bit with fear over the fact Killua and Gon knew were he lived and at this point they were so far deep in his master plan, THAT PEOPLE'S LIVES HAVE BEEN AFFECTED. Even unborn not thought of extras were gaining weight to his judgmental hammer. The tall man cracked his neck, shifting a bit in his seat, just to get some distance... A little room for him to wiggle some bullshit, just enough to sprinkle and mold his eager pupils a tad more.

Slowly he mumbled, "Oh?" Tossing his earrings to dash off a sping of sunset, he cleared his throat loudly, "THAT." Fingers drummed on the steering wheel before he announced, "You should be thanking me. I used that Hunter's party footage to-"

"We know all about it." Killua said sternly his voice turning almost threatening.

Now it seemed that all Chrollo's niceness was a lie and they'd been set up from the beginning. And somewhere as the air particles laced with hostility twirled all around Killua his mind finally calculated that they might be trapped in turmoil.

Chrollo's lips curled upwards into a cruel grin."Well then." The man clicked his tongue, "You still came to hang out with me so you must not be _that_ pissed about it."

"It's important." Gon said, rattled up by it. "You recorded us without our permission. Then staged Machi to get us here." Putting up a friendly glowing face he stated, "If you plan to hurt me, I don't care." A grim shadow castes over curled up lips as they twisted dastardly. His fist tightened ready to do damage brewing a nen storm over head as he spat, "But hurt my child or Killua or his siblings… I'll do way _worse_ than drop you like I did at the mall."

Chrollo puffed out his chest, stopping at a red light. "I did make you blow up the internet. _Trust_ me," He began to straighten his tie like he was some classic two-faced businessman. "I said I'll take care of you kids. I take good care of my own."

Then Gon's phone rang.

The sound almost made Gon's heart stop with joy to get out of this nerve wrecking conversation. He pulled out his phone with nothing but hope.

Fear and hope were one in the same thing. It was impossible for one to be formed without the other developing slowly along with it in the shadows. So Gon never feared the shadows that lurked darkness, because each night brought along hope of a fabulous new day that could possibly be even better than the last.

Hope was _such an awfully_ beautiful thing.

For you could hope for something all your life and still never have it happen.

 _HOPE_

Gon had a lot of that for his Aunt Mito waking back up.

Chrollo might have been a mind reader. The man winked flipping his hair up, "I bet that's the hospital with the good news now. Go answer it, kid."

With zero hesitation, Gon did. He smashed the answer call button without reading the caller ID, as he automatically piped out, "Whale Island hospital?"

"No."

"IS THIS A STALKER?"

"Gon...WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"

"Who is this?"

The male responded back confused, "Do you even have my number saved in your phone? It's me, Kurapika."

' _FUCK!'_ Gon couldn't help but think very aggressively; he fought against every bone in his body wanting him to fling the phone out the window and have the car run over it. Gon just wanted to rage and beat the shit out of stuff again.

 _He wanted his Aunt back.._

"Sunshine." Killua touched his hand on top of Gon's saying, "If you don't wanna talk right now…." His smooth voice was laced in comfort as he tried to slip his arms around him.

Gon smiled slightly at Killua. A relaxing feeling coming over him.

 _Killua would always open up his arms for Gon to run and snuggle back into them where he belonged._

"Gon, what the heck do you think you're doing?" The blonde's voice was at the end of the call yet it wasn't very friendly or open hearted in the slightest. "What made you even do that? Why when you worked so hard for it! We _all_ worked hard for it. How can you throw it all away?"

There was no surprise when Gon frowned a bit responding, "Kurapika?"

"THE CHAIN USER!" Chrollo blurted out almost falling over from leaning in the chair as he lost balance, along with any good sense in his mind.

His foot rolled _off_ the brake.

Killua let out a yelp, "GET YOURSELF TOGETHER MAN!" He let go of Gon and crawled over to pull the emergency brake.

The loud squealing was heard by the car coming to a stop. It was in the nick of time before it rolled past a STOP sign.

Chrollo had clearly gone off the deep end. "That..that.. trick ass snake!?" He started shaking almost with rage as he yelled, "What in the hell? He two timed me making those pl-"

"Hush!" Killua snapped at the man. "Gosh! It's no beef to be dragging it over here."

"It's…. _Him._ " Chrollo pointed directly at Gon's phone motioning for him to hand it over. "I have a well thought out series of harsh words to rant."

"Gon? Is that...Chrollo?" Kurapika gasped taking notice of the voice in the background, "I can't actually comprehend this! One of my closest friends, hanging out with my WORST SWORN ARCH ENEMY!"

Gon felt like he was losing his marbles claiming, "Wait! Hold up… I'm not hanging out with him, by choice… This is..like… a.. Umm.." Lost of words flooded over him on how to elaborate with why Chrollo was actually hanging with them. "A bunch of unfortunate events occurred."

"I'm talking about the news. I just turn on my tv and see you and Killua in the mall with the LEADER OF THE SPIDER! Everyone seems to have lost their minds….Why are you and Killua knee deep in shit that's not yours?"

"I'm not! Please… Listen!"

"Did he make you do that?" Kurapika demanded, he sounded ready to bust Chrollo upside his face. "Did Chrollo force you to make a scene and get rid of your Hunter's license? Are you being held against your will? What is _actual hell_ is going on? Say the word, Gon! Say it and I will help you. I'll save you, the baby and give Chrollo a piece of my mind."

"Kurapika….can you...just..Haha!" Gon let a slight chuckle fall from his mouth. He knew that Kurapika would basically fall off the earth worrying over him acting like this. It made him feel a bit warm and fuzzy inside. "Take deep breaths, okay? Slow down. It's whatever." He smiled, "I did it all myself."

"This is not whatever, Gon! This is a very…." Kurapika took a deep breath finally having to slow down from rushing out his words. It was more so he was trying to tape down his anger rather than go all out on his friend. Kurapika knew Gon was pretty naive to a lot of things so he had to break the huge significance of this down step by step. "Look, Gon… do you recall when we first got our license, we learned our first priority was to always protect them?"

"Yes, I remember."

"So you get, it's completely unprecedented to see a Hunter act like you did."

"I guess…?"

"There is NO GUESSES, GON! It's FACTS! You stirred up doubts in people's mind that the Association tried so hard to shut down. Especially after you were with Killua at that party..."

"I imagine not, we did totally trash them." Gon confirmed the cheerful joking tone dropping from his voice. He firmly declared, "But-"

"No." Kurapika shot the idea down. Clearing his throat loudly to accommodate clarification, "Killua is innocent. I can prove it." There was the sound of shuffling papers in the background. "If you both come to me. I have dirt—well I mean, _proof._ All the Hunters Killua murdered at that party were guilty."

"Huh?"

"All of the 8 people Killua slaughtered, I have evidence of their crimes. Either it be casual armed robbery, hate crimes or terrible as rape, they were all guilty. Sure, death is extreme way to deal out justice but I'd do the sa-"

"Wait! H-how… how did you get that information? And more importantly how did Ki-" Gon held his breath for a second recalling how Killua was right alongside him. Instead he ushered, "Kurapika can you elaborate more?"

"No. _Damn it!_ This is very dangerous, Gon. The Hunters might come after you. Again why act so delirious? Just come to me and hopefully with evidence like this we can get Killua a good lawyer and-"

Overhearing the conversation Chrollo wrinkled his face up, confused about what the heck as to where this conversation had gone. But he liked the idea of already _achieving_ his goal.

If Chrollo had already re-awakened the true terror of Gon…. _then Killua would follow._

"Only a matter of time now…" Chrollo spoke to himself reassuringly. "Soon all those assholes, will be on their knees begging for my forgiveness. I will have two, no..." He wiggled his fingers on the wheel counting in Killua and Gon's child, "Three, monsters under my command."

"Gon," Kurapika sounded like the world was testing him, "Think logically ensuring you correctly make an accurate choice for you and the baby."

"I.. I am making the right choice!" Gon remained boldly in his words, "Killua has and will protect me. Chrollo is… doing his thing?"

"You're already wanted! And now you… your hanging with _him_." Kurapika actually sounded like he was on the brim of tears as he pleaded, "I can't bare to see you suffer like that Gon. Just.. just think of all the good times you had as a Hunter. Then make a video apologizing and stop this madness. After that, I swear on my life, I will do _anything_ to get you out of this bad situation. You and Killua are like my family and I can't lose you too."

" _Why stop it? It only just begun...the flames of the chaos is in your hands. You control it. Finally something that doesn't include Ging, but is all you. This fame is YOURS. Don't ruin this for yourself._ " The voices sang out in Gon's mind basically painting him a path to salvation. " _You can be a star. People already made fan pages about you. It's all about you. Just like how you like it. This is your destiny. Who you were meant to be."_

"I'm sorry…" Gon muttered his grip tightening on the phone because it honestly pained him to hurt Kurapika like this. Chewing on his lip he said, "I can't forgive the Hunter's Association for what they did to me and so many other people. I hope this doesn't end our friendship, but this uprising is something I won't shut down."

Kurapika was determined however as he kept on, "Gon, I'm begging you! You're having a baby, your brain isn't thinking right! You've got baby brains! Please recon-"

Gon smashed the end call button with his phone before his friend could finish. A part of him felt guilty but the other part of his mind felt pure relief.

"You know that call was a warning right?" Chrollo muttered. His eyes darkening as a hostile attitude swept over the car, carefully he observed the obscure pinched look on Gon's face.

The brown eyed male's vibe seemed to flip to perplexed. He questioned, "A warning for what?"

Killua spoke barely above a whisper, "That they're coming for us." The boy seemed like the undeniable idea was weighing down too heavy on his conscious.

The silence made Gon even more anxious and uneasy, about things he didn't understand. His mind getting more confused about what Chrollo could be hiding from them. Therefor Gon attempted to change the subject. "Kalluto, how many more requests do you have until you can heal your arm?"

"Only one more." Kalluto quipped bitterly, "Then I can get the heck outta here."

Alluka smiled deviously, "Why are you so eager to leave me?" She reached over to stroke Kalluto's head. "I haven't done anything mean yet."

"YET. Is what I'm afraid of." Kalluto grumbled slapping her hand away from him.

Alluka gave a little kissy face as she claimed, "I luv chu!" Leaning forward she was ready to place a kiss on Kalluto's head.

"STAY AWAY FROM ME!" Kalluto screamed at the top of his lungs.

"Fine then…" Alluka crossed her arms. Her blue eyes still looking at Kalluto teasingly reading, ' _But I know what you MUST DO.'_

"You think of weird shit, I don't wanna hear." Kalluto grumbled pressing his hands over his ears.

"Can you give me a kiss, Kalluto? I want a kiss just like how Killua used to kiss me when I was favorite person." Alluka requested with a smug look on her face. She tapped the side of her cheek invitingly.

Kalluto cringed up, recoiling in almost in disgust.

Alluka waited patiently reminding him, "You _have_ to do it. It's a request, Kalluto. If you don't something bad will happen."

Chrollo sudden became engaged in the conversation understanding that if something bad happened it would happen IN _HIS_ CAR POSSIBLY DAMAGING IT.

Blinking his black eyes rapidly like he'd been rapidly called out on the spot, "Bad? Like what level of bad? Bad luck or…?" Chrollo seemed unwilling to speak out the last part.

"VERY BAD." Alluka hummed pleasantly like she didn't care for fucking up other people's lives.

A wave of brief concern flooded on Chrollo's face as he turned back to look at Kalluto. "Well kid, the hell are you waiting for? Kiss the girl! She's YOUR SISTER!"

Kalluto still looked uncomfortable about kissing Alluka. The boy just shifted in his seat numbly before snapping, "Okay but she just couldn't be satisfied with all the other crap I did for her! I fulfilled her request of leaving home, I even did the impossible request of finding Killua in this insane world, BUT EVEN I HAVE TO DRAW THE LINE!"

"At a kiss?" Chrollo exasperated more worried about his car than anyone's emotions.

"Yes! That's nasty! Next thing ya know she's making me be a replacement Killua."

Killua threw up his hands angrily in the car, as if to remind everyone he was right here having to listen to this shit.

Alluka screwed up an eyebrow, "This is your last one, how could I?"

"I DONT KNOW!" Kalluto shouted.

"Alright…" Chrollo sighed, "Kalluto just kiss her, so you can get this over with."

Kalluto grew quiet as if he was already to the whole world being against him. Bitterly he murmured, "Fine. I'll do it."

Chrollo gave a relaxed pleasant sigh, upon seeing Kalluto lean over and press a soft kiss on the side of Alluka's cheek.

Unfortunately that action must have thrown the balance of all neutral forces in the universe out of flow. Because 3 seconds after Kalluto removed his lips from Alluka's face, the car was smashed into T-style crash.


	29. Do n t sh ak e t he e mbr y o Go n! (29)

**This isn't close to the darkness of Ch17 but...**

 **Warnings: Character(s) Suicide/Death?**

* * *

Crunching bones is never a good sound to hear when you think the end might be coming, most people in their right mind would scream from such mild actions but Gon, _no_ —He's just that one guy who has to be different.

 _'Being different is good_ ' is what people have been telling him all his life. What they don't tell, is that the results of being different can be straight up deadly if you don't watch out and play your cards right.

Staring upon the brim of life and death as the car smacked into them, all Gon could think about was saving Kalluto and Alluka. That was the number one priority, not to fail again. Not to let his desires burn to his own demise.

 _Not this time…._

 _ **There wouldn't be another Kite situation.**_

Gon wouldn't let that happen…

" _So what are you gonna do about it?"_ The voices taunted.

And for the first time with confidence Gon responded, "I'm gonna GIVE THEM HELL."

The darkness twirled around his fingertips, dancing off his nails and leaping from him to the outside of the car. A storm of black engulfed the car, rolling off freely from Gon in heavy waves. For the first time in a long time Gon felt that same beast that lurked in his soul kick up inside him.

Everything burned and he felt his lungs get ready to burst from each strained breath he took inwards. Yet his brown eyes blazed with enough drive to keep it up strong as the impact slammed the car that hit them into a more extreme collision than at first affected them. It wasn't death to them, but it had been recoiled into a explosive blow back.

The loud sound of shattering glass followed by screeching brakes. " _Fuck!"_ The wheel was spun to avoid the brick wall.

Hastily Chrollo shifted the car into park, allowing the wheels to drag against the road. The friction burning rubber allowing a nasty smell to float freely in the air. It sent everyone flying in their seats as the vehicle rocked side to side, until a large pressure from the back sent it jolting forward again.

Chrollo let out a slur of curses most of them being, "Goddamn! My fucking paint job! My fucking hundred thousand dollar babe!"

"Shouldn't you be more worried about your life?" Killua shouted at him over the sound of shattering glass.

"This car was my life!" Chrollo let out a hysterical cry as he threw his hands up. "Some crazy sonuvabitch won't stop hitting us!"

The car helpless kept being hit around; more cars smashed into it from a chain reaction. Each large bump and junk set Chrollo even closer to the edge of murder.

The man must have reached his max stress on his meter, because he snarled. Almost going hysterical Chrollo mashed the door trying to unlock it. He pounded his hands on the button howling, "LET ME OUT!"

"ARE YOU CRAZY? IF THE JUMP DOESN'T KILL YOU, YOU MIGHT GET RAN OVER!" Gon hissed, he darted his pupils from the blurry colors of the city spinning around them just to face Chrollo.

His wild black hair slapping over his dark black eyes, Chrollo grouched, "Won't let that happen." He slammed a powerful fist into the door lock. The plastic crunching up as he huffed, "I'm gonna set send these bastards a message they won't' forget."

"This.. this is so unlike you.. You're so cool calm and collected.."

"I don't need to hear that from some kid like you!"

"The human brain matures at age 25 and ya know when it comes to you, I'm not so sure."

"W-Wait..are you disrespecting me! AFTER ALL I'VE DONE!"

"No it's because I appreciate it! I want to save you. Otherwise I wouldn't give a fuck."

Chrollo's eye twitched menacing as he slammed his door wide open. The door went flying off, and Chrollo inched over to the edge of his seat ready to do the same thing. His cold eyes looked at Gon daringly as he ushered out, "No. You don't appreciate shit." He raised his arm out ready to push off, "If you did… you would apply what I taught you."

" _He means.. Stop trying to be something you're not You're still trying to save lives._ " The voices laughed. They seemed to be getting a kick out of this giggling, " _ONLY HUNTERS CAN SAVE LIVES GON… YOU'RE NOT A HUNTER. YOU'RE A LIFE STEALER."_

"What…?" Gon muttered breathlessly as he turned his head only to see Chrollo had jumped amid his voices rambling to him.

The driver seat was now empty yet with the door taken off, debris flew everywhere and dust clouded all over Gon's field of vision. A headache took him by surprise as a car slammed into the hood.

"That crazy fuck!" Killua screamed, "He was supposed to be driving! Darn him!" The 16 year old tugged on his seat belt, ready to break free and grab the wheel. He ushered out commands, "Gon get Alluka and Kalluto!"

From the rearview mirror he caught sight of Alluka and Kalluto knocked out cold in the backseat. "Crap!" Gon sputtered out. Coughing up a bit of blood, his body jolted backwards and slowly he started to reach his limit.

Killua climbed up into the driver's seat, curling his finger up to keep a tight iron grip on the wheel all that muscles came in handy to lock it in place. He grit his teeth as he decided that was gonna die here protecting his family.

Gon could barely catch his breath as he decided to go out a limb and use the rest of his nen to try and protect Alluka and Kalluto.

Maybe.. Long as they didn't get their brains blasted out… They had a chance.

The voice in his head snickered, " _They have NO chance Gon. You said, you didn't wanna be a hunter anymore. Now you have to deal with the consequences_ …"

"Gon! Gon!" Killua called out his name loudly only to let out a pissed off, " _Damn_ it! Don't you fade away on me!" He reached behind his seat fumbling with slapping the boy on the leg rapidly.

The pregnant boy barely manged to maintain focus as he howled, "Yes! Yes! I'm here! dang.. I.." He groaned as he felt his body jolt to the side, "Chrollo better have been kicking those bastard ass behind us!"

Blue eyes sunk in nothing but pure darkness. Pale hands trembled with fury ready to unleash his wrath, the grip tightened deadly. "They're.. they're trying to kill us." Killua spoke the words out in complete disbelief. Nothing but rage washed over his face as he slowly started to put the pieces together. "Gon...THEY WILL KILL US!"

Gon let out a slight whimper begging, "Please, don't say that. _Don't_ say that, Killua."

"We have to do something!" Killua hollered kicking up the vexation in his tone. His body bolted over as Gon grabbed him with heavy displeasure, the smaller male trying to hold him back.

Gon holding him shouting, "LET'S FIGHT THEM!" He clung to the other male attempting to woo him extraordinarily.

"We can't!" The white haired male grit his teeth as his forehead wrinkled up with strict lines of hatred. "W-WE HAVE TO RUN!" Killua huffed out wildly throwing his head back. In a pissed off way his actions getting blurred out by his own overhauling commands, Killua shoved Gon away from him.

 _Away from…_

Instantly a Gon felt himself disperse, completely bisecting as his mind faltered away from his body. Brown eyes widened in shock; he felt his molecules fly everywhere, off the doors, out the broken windows. His black hair covered his face as he flew back, losing all breath with his will to trust anybody ever again. Vicariously Gon seemed to see the situation from a bird eyes view~ from the roof downwards getting a brief feel of all the steamy agony.

The car seemed to shrink and narrow, walls appeared to be caving in on each other. Any mysterious aura that hovered around Gon's entire being dropped away, draining all the joy away instantly it became to feed a new ego. Gon's tan cheek bones seemed to sink in, the galaxy blush changing to black holes sucking up all the misery and gloom surrounding him.

 _Once youthful loving brown eyes shattered appearing to be heartbroken, no longer did the sunshine in them._

 _In replacement of the sun, now Gon's eyes held a dark lonely abyss of hatred._

"You...you're _not_ Killua." Gon snarled his whole entire body seemed like a lifeless puppet. He hunched over keeping his back pressed against the seat, his shoulders heaved up heavily as breath struggled to feel his lungs. Hot tears stung his eyes as they watered uncontrollably he looked right up at the monster that possessed the person he cared about the most. "Who are you?"

A long tongue found its way to hang out the 16 year old's mouth as cold cruel pupils shrunk dramatically in a field of all white. Slowly he turned to face Gon, with his random strands of hair cupping the sides of cheeks. He whispered, "I'm a monster." Then he shrank away almost fearfully, "I'm sorry."

"No." Gon growled out hateful, "You're not fucking sorry."

" _Give him what he wants Gon. Let him be who he_ _really_ _is.. Let us have him!"_ The voice chirped up pleasantly willing to jump ship and see what destruction they could do.

"I am! I am, let's just get outta here then-"

"WHY DO YOU ALWAYS RUN AWAY? When Kite was gonna die, you ran away then too!"

"Sunshine, I-"

"NO! KILLUA! YOU CAN'T SPEND ALL YOUR LIFE RUNNING AWAY! YOU CAN'T LIE AND BLUFF YOUR WAY THROUGH EVERYTHING!"

"I don't I stand up and fight when I know that I'm right! But when I'm with the people I love, I think of their safety first! This isn't just some asshole who I can punch in the face like I did at the bar or at the Hunter's party! This is a full blown armed attack!"

"Then you're no monster! You're nothing but an overprotective coward!"

Those words must of hurt, because Killua looked down sheepishly. Perplexed at his unforeseen judgment call that he was not willing to deny. Maybe he was, _a coward. A cowardly toy solider who needed to protect people in order to feel brave. So he always kept his head low and kept on going..too afraid to loose what he already lost._ The 16 year old was broken, at a young age and had always been finding himself since then. Killua might even still be searching for who he really is.

"Is that what you see me as, Gon?" Killua uttered softly, "A coward? I always thought a monster maybe..."

"If you want to be a monster," A storm of black nen encased Gon's hands as he raised them up and a horrible beast swam from within the turmoil.

" _He'll be strong. He'll protect you!"_

Snapping his fingers the boy snarled, "GO AHEAD. I GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO GIVE THOSE HUNTERS HELL."

Loud clicking sounds of bolts unlocking beat off the sound of Killua's rushing pounding heart as the animal inside him _fully_ awakened, when dangerous eyes caught sight of the darkness swallowing up hazel orbs. Killua's whole entire body started to shake and shutter uncontrollably convulsing madly as he gazed upon Gon's malicious smirk.

So tragic….so heart wrenching…. so many secrets behind why a lovely face controlled all of Killua's galaxy, even forcing his mind to fall victim to the evil flood that engulfed his body.

The grinding sound of breaking and reforming bones, rattled filling everyone's ears. Killua started screeching bloody murder as the tainted darkness sank into his skin. It was a struggle to steady himself, from the dramatically stretching muscles bulging through Killua's skin. The claw like fingernails elongating equivalent to sword length. _Growing…_ Killua was growing taller, larger, firmer..Saber teeth popping through his gums as his face pushed forward and split away. Blood splattered to the floor as his jaw dislodged to make room for a massive, deadly maw. _It was as if someone just grabbed his face and yanked a new one straight out._

He threw his head back roughly taking a dive out the car, his body jerked around madly surrounded by lightning. Until he rolled into the sights of a power hungry lunatic, all his crys for help were drowned out by Chrollo.

The sounds made Chrollo let out a gleefully, "Finally! My plan was so genius! Gon's hatred so raw~ giving Killua nothing but power!" His eyes danced eager with excitement.

Killua felt overly excruciating pain fill him as he groaned letting out a howling slur of curses. They weren't very literate sounding more like uncontrollable pain swelling up that he couldn't hold in as the beast laying dormant finally surfaced to the lightning blue array.

The voices only cackled with the same delusion in Chrollo's tone, " _A masterpiece of your own command."_

It was the longest 14 seconds of Gon's life! Even longer than he had to wait for a YouTube ad video. For in a matter of seconds Killua had became a lightning storm hulking gladiator with an enormous hunger for _revenge_ that _must be satisfied._ Throwing his head back a howl didn't cross his lips, but a deadly roar up at the sky, "GGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!"

 _He's a freak..._

 _He's weird…_

 _He's a REAL MONSTER._

"Holy crap..." Gon muttered lowly, then he looked at his hands wiggling them a bit to see all the nen had been stolen by his boyfriend. Dang that took a lot more out of him than expected, tiredly he slumped over. Taking a deep breath he babbled, "Okay then, you said you'd kill for me, Killua. Show me what you mean."

" _Ohhhh... Gon. You'll soon see you get way more than you bargained for."_

Those cruel words were the last ones that Gon heard before his drifted off into dreamland.

* * *

Surprisingly, Kalluto stirred awake in a rather soft location. Confused purple eyes blinked up at the blurry depiction of his sister. Numbly his lips revealed his location, "Alluka's lap.."

He pushed against his sister. Nudging the older girl as he collected his steaming rage filled mind. His eyes scanned around the wreckage, it looked like a blood bath had occurred here or something.

Alluka let out a groan, slowly unwrapping her arms around Kalluto. The girl had a steady flow of blood leaking from her forehead and a huge gash on the side of her face. Her damaged skin looked way worse than the slightly deep cuts Kalluto had received.

The sight of her almost made Kalluto flinch away. He remained though, figuring it was best to comfort her. He took her hand mumbling, "You're an idiot."

Alluka gave a cute smile, her blue eyes holding back painful tears. "Hehe.."

"Don't wear a face that looks like it needs to be whooped." Kalluto grumbled trying to ignore the warm tingling feeling in his heart.

Alluka's smile grew a bit bigger, then faltered a little when looking out the window at all the destruction around them. She uttered, "I wonder where big brother is…"

"Chrollo is gone too."

"I wonder where they fit in all this."

Kalluto grew silent, the sounds of loud sirens and gunshots was able to be heard. Sucking on his tongue he looked around before determining, "He's probably in need of our assistance. I wonder if we should _really_ help him."

"Why not? Gon helped us."

"Gon isn't Killua. When Killua knew we were in trouble he didn't do anything."

"Gon loves Killua as much as we do! If we let Killua get hurt… Gon would be mad. Just like if Gon let us get hurt, Killua would be pissed."

"What kind of bullcrap..?"

Alluka closed her eyes, placing her hand over her bleeding area on her forehead she pleaded, "Kalluto, some things… you're not ready to understand. Heck there are things I might never understand." Her eyes became glossy, "But Gon risked his life to save us and we barely even know the guy."

"Alluka.." Kalluto uttered breathlessly, his sloppy purple hair covering his murderous eyes. "Bring out, Nanika. I wanna make my wish."

Alluka glanced at Kalluto fearfully, "Like _right_ now? But I thou-" A few more loud screams filled the air. It made the girl flinch covering her head, "Kalluto, this isn't really!"

"RIGHT NOW!" Kalluto roared. He angrily slammed his fist into the glass, it sent glass shards raining downwards.

Alluka gave the nod of her head, changing into Nanika in a split second. The creature that came out seemed way more confident. There were holes where her eyes were supposed to be, and open mouth seemed elated to be able to interact with Kalluto. Speaking, "It's been a long time since we've seen each other."

"Cut the niceties." Kalluto spat out blood from his mouth. He pounded on his chest heaving, "I have a wish. I have one don't I?"

The pale girl nodded her head, "What do you want, Kalluto?"

For a split second Kalluto looked torn. It seemed like compassionate mixed with his own personal greed washed over him. His eyes dusting over the wreckage and the terrible crash they were in, until his orbs fell on Gon in the front seat.

The 16 year old was the only one completely not injured. At first Kalluto found this strange until he recalled how that weird ball of dark nen surrounded, Gon.

' _It protected him… It protected us._..' He thought as he looked at how Gon was knocked out sleeping, ' _But it took a lot of energy. Still...'_ Nanika touched his arm as if trying to draw Kalluto back into reality. She repeated, "What is your wish, Kalluto?" She followed his gaze over to Gon. Her memory of him had been vague since they barely shared any interaction other than healing.

She smiled to herself ready to wake him up and introduce herself once more. Only Kalluto stopped her by asking, "Can I..."

"Hmmm?" Her face blanked as she waited more commands.

Kalluto didn't know what came over him but he quickly changed up, "Can we..." Something told him to be more specific so he threw in, "Alluka and I."

He didn't know why he kept changing up, but he knew this wish _had_ to be perfect.

Kalluto chewed on his bottom lip, his nerves making him mind seem empty. His eyes dropped to the glass in his knuckles, the pain filling him brought tears to his eyes. He held them back saying, "Can Alluka and I..." He darted his eyes at Gon again.

 _The teen promised to keep them safe_.

"When Alluka and I die, we will be reborn as Killua and Gon's children!" Kalluto blurted out.

Tears falling down his face because for some reason he'd figured it was just like Killua said, the first time he didn't get to choose what family he was born into. But with Gon and Killua... even if he ended up with two sisters he'd be fine. At least, he wouldn't be beaten and tortured by his parents.

 _The abuse would end._

 _Death was his escape to safety._

Nanika reached over to touch Gon's stomach, a wave of dark energy surrounding her, Kalluto and Gon as she granted his wish.

Kalluto sniffled a bit too scared to wipe his face with his bloody hands. Figuring he'd fixed setting Alluka and his fate in stone he commanded, "Now bring back out Alluka."

At first Nanika didn't respond she just mumbled, "Gon." She looked at the sleeping boy, then back at Kalluto. "Does he know the pain waiting for him when you both die?"

Kalluto took a deep breath. He still wasn't really all that fond of Gon. Still he trusted Gon more than anybody right now.

"Who cares? Not like he can be mad at me for it." Kalluto closed his eyes. Nodding his head with approval, "I'll be resting safely by then. Plus he deserves it for breaking my wrist like that."

"Having a kids like this... getting pregnant so young. It's not right, it's interrupting nature." Nanika warned.

"Who's nature?" Kalluto coldly mocked. He pointed at Gon's stomach. "This right here isn't a product of love. Anyone who says so should have their spine ripped out and left for dead." A light smirk formed on his lips, "This is a mistake. I know it. Killua knows it. Heck, maybe even Gon knows it but doesn't want to admit it to himself. Why else would they try to get famous?"

Nanika stared at Kalluto and wondered if he was more so ranting about his own creation rather than Killua and Gon's love for each other.

The 13 year old kept on going, "You _can't_ love a mistake!" Kalluto paused then chuckled, "But they can love, me….hehe, and Alluka, They can love _us_."

"That's wrong."

"I'm being honest. We can _finally_ get the home _we deserve."_

The girl blinked the black holes where her eyes were before mumbling, "No more, Alluka.." Word tumbled out sadly as she came to terms with the thought, "Does that mean, no more me?"

Kalluto shrugged his shoulders, "There's only one way to find out." He started to crawl out of the flipped over upside down car. The sharp edges in the window cutting into his flesh as he pulled himself out.

Nanika transformed back into Alluka. The 14 year old panicking as she ushered out, "Kalluto! What about your wrist! I thought..." She tried to follow behind him. Climbing through the window as the large gash on her head leaked streaks of red.

Kalluto dusted himself off, "Don't get me wrong, there's not a person living who doesn't fear death..." He declared firmly offering his hand out to Alluka, "I just gave us a little insurance is all."

The wind blew through Alluka's long hair as she closed her crystal blue eyes. "Ah Kalluto, if I would have known you were this way. Cruel till the very end… I admire it. We might have been good siblings." She blinked innocently.

"No. We couldn't…" Kalluto muttered in disgust. Rolling his eyes he stated the obvious, "You would have never asked for me to be reborn along with you."

Alluka admitted, "That's true." A smile hung on her lips. "Fighting to the death is so boyish to me." She pulled off her headband tossing it to the ground. Sweetly she chirped, "Yet I don't have much of a choice now do I?"

"You ALWAYS have a choice. Legit whatever one you choose, I'm still probably gonna hate you." Kalluto shrugged, "I guess you'll assist me with finding Killua. Since he was always your favorite." He cracked his neck, then proceeded to stretch the rest of his limbs.

"I hope I'm a better big sister then." Alluka murmured, "Ya know in our next life." She looked down at her torn up ruined dress. "I also hope, Killua buys me lots of pretty clothes to wear and things to put in my hair and..."

Kalluto cut her off, "We aren't even dead yet...?"

"Oh..." Alluka reminded herself. Taking up Kalluto's hand she kissed it. "Let's go together then." The girl let out a light giggle leading Kalluto to their self ensured demise. Skipping along she sang out, "Time to die!"


	30. Don't shake the embryo Gon! (30)

**Save this schizophrenic child. He sees and feels things that aren't really there. This chapter is so hectic it's confusing... because Gon's mind is broken rn.** **~Mel**

* * *

 _The thing you really got to dread_

 _Is the self conscious inside your head._

 _It's nonstop judgement drives people mad… And a mind to its undoing._

Extreme hunger gnawing at his insides is what woke Gon up. He wasn't even sure how'd he'd gotten back into Chrollo's condo.

His brown eyes reaching out into the darkness as he felt air all surrounding him. There didn't seem to be anybody else in the bed. No whispers echoing off the walls and no rustling of bodies ready fight.

"Alluka, Kalluto?" Gon groaned as he rolled over in the bed. His feet touched the floor, as his stomach growled loudly. He was about to stand, but for some reason it felt harder to. Using his hands he ungratefully steadied himself to his feet, his belly seemed to have grew in a few hours.

Gon's black hair falling a bit over his eyes as he observed the lack of shadows on the wall.

The whole room appeared to be empty, _just like Gon's stomach._

There was some strange twisting sick feeling washing over him. Gon couldn't really focus on anything but the pain forming where his princess was, _it hurt. A heck of a lot._

Hunching over Gon whimpered, at a shifting feeling of something inside him changing. Uncomfortably he rubbed his hips together as he started to leave the room, "K-Killua? I'm gonna go get something to eat. Is that okay?"

 _There was no response that came_.

 _Just pure_

 _Deathly—Silence._

Gon let out another groan; his insides felt like they were in a washing machine. Rubbing his stomach, "Killua?" Gon called out sadly. A bit disappointed that his lover had failed to come to his aid.

 _Where was Killua?_

Yelling out into the condo, "KILLUA, ALLUKA, KALLUTO! WHERE ARE YOU?"

 _There was no answer._

Gon exited the room, heading out towards the kitchen. He stumbled a bit, the weight throwing him off as he attempted not to fall forward. He zombie walked down the hall calling their names, "Killua? Alluka? Kalluto?" He yelled a bit louder, "Killua? Alluka? Kalluto?"

A snickering cruel laugh filed his brain, " _Yeah go ahead.. The first sign of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again. Are you just gonna keep calling their names even if they clearly can't respond?"_

Touching his head, Gon leaned against the wall. A feeling of loneliness filling him, making him feel vulnerable and useless. His stomach made a loud gurgling sound, as Gon tried to calm down with deep breaths.

 _Breath…..In and out._

It was simple, all he had to do was breath. Just keep breathing. Keep on focusing. Everything would be okay.

Gon dragged himself to the kitchen. His feet barely making it off the carpet—left, right, left, right… ' _What comes after right again_?' His mind pondered as he limped onto the vinyl flooring before his stomach made another loud plea to be filled.

"Okay, I'll.. get something started for us." Gon grumbled, opening the fridge he searched for some premade food first.

Gon could barely keep his eyes open. Everything in the fridge was scribbled on as if it hand names on it and some crap. Gon didn't really feel like reading or taking the time to sort out the food he wanted.

Licking his lips he pulled out jelly, chocolate syrup, blueberries and some cheese. After placing them on the table he grabbed some bread off the counter. Soon reaching in the cabinet and getting some crackers, tuna, and pickle relish.

Sitting back at the table, Gon let out a loud groan at the feeling in his belly tightening. He felt like he was falling apart, as his head seemed to spin in circles drawing up confusion in him.

The black haired male placed his head on the dinner table, silently whimpering at the development. There was something _inside_ him, moving changing, screwing him over.

* * *

"Hey!" A groggy muffled voice filled Gon's ears and someone started shaking him. "What the hell happened in this kitchen?"

"Food." Gon repeated confused. His eyes opening up to see Feitan and Phinks staring at him like he was crazy.

Feitan glared at him menacingly, "What happened to our food?" He pointed to Phinks holding open the refrigerator door. Demanding, "Why the hell is that empty? Where are my blueberries?"

Gon's mouth hangs open as he strained himself to lift his head up, "I…" He smacked his lips together. Half of him wondered why they were asking this to him. He felt like he was high or something, the more he looked around to see trash covering the table, the more the gears in his head connected the missing pieces.

Phinks was spitting out curses from his mouth angrily, "Screw this shit man!" He slammed the fridge shut. The whole machine shaking as the blonde spat, "This is crazy! How the hell does one person even eat all that damn food?" He paced around before reaching in the cabinets, "HE CLEANED OUT THE CABINETS TOO!"

Feitan grabbed Gon's hair up angrily sneering, "You owe us! You owe us big time!" He was about to pound Gon's head into the trashy mess he left on the table. Forcefully he tugged on his hair yelling, "YOU SEE THIS? THIS IS 40,000 yen worth of groceries!"

Terror filled Gon's face as he gasped out, "I..I needed it.. I _had to eat._ For the.. the baby." He felt his head about to explode from all the pressure of his nagging brain going loony and the tugging.

"Blah blah blah, your baby, Gon?" Feitan chuckled coldly, "You want to make sure your baby is _healthy_?" He pulled Gon up from his chair at the table. Dragging the 16 year old by the roots of his hair to observe the large mess he made. "Taking care of a baby for months means the number one rule is," Roughly he shoved Gon pinning him against the wall. He growled, "Don't piss people off who won't hesitate to _kill_ you."

"STAY AWAY FROM ME!" Gon whined bitterly at him. Unable to properly process all that was going on.

"You want us away from you?" Feitan said a look of disgust crossing his face. His heartless black eyes dazzling, mesmerized at the pregnant boy's audacity. They locked onto him, his grip loosening on Gon's hair. Rattling the boy up more he whispered, "You should have stayed _away_ FROM OUR FOOD!"

Faltering a bit Gon's lost expression fell flat; becoming more derpy and sad. He mumbled, "Please?"

"Haha! Listen to him beg! He doesn't even know where he's at." Phinks laughed cruelly.

Gon felt his stomach do somersaults as he was roughly thrown around, making him belched up a loud burp. Right in Feitan's face.

The man let out an explosive reaction of, "YOU DISRESPECTFUL SHITTY BRAT!" Feitan drove Gon's face into the bricks. Grinding on the rock leaving streaks, the pregnant boy suddenly couldn't see. There was warm blood leaking from his head and his mind went foggy. All the sounds around was driving him wild.

"YOU HAD MORE THAN ENOUGH NOW!" Phinks shouted angrily. There was the threat of death leaking from his voice. Especially as he slammed the cabinet shut as the man snarled, "Feitan, stop holding back! Show him what hunger can REALLY DO TO YOU."

"I'll shake him up real good." Feitan chuckled as he threw his hand forward about to slam Gon's head into the broken edge of a wooden chair.

Gon let out a scream allowing a burst of dark nen to fly around his body.

Feitan threw his hands off of him screeching, "What the hell? You ACTUALLY WANNA GET BEAT TO THE FUCKING GROUND?" He kicked the boy with his foot. Digging his spiky shoes into Gon's back as he crushed the boy away from him.

Gon's stomach was pressed firmly up against the blood covered brick wall, his ears red hot, vibrating sound waves of every scream, hiss or yell down to even the slight movement of bugs or roaches couldn't escape his now heightened senses.

It took him some time before he caught on that all the loud screaming noises were coming _from him._

Gon didn't stop throwing a fit as he threw his head to the side, stumbling backwards he threw himself away from Feitan. His sight making the world begin spinning at record speeds, as he cried out. Yelling for dear life, "DONT COMMEEE NEEAA-AHH..." He stumbled around searching for something to grab hold to.

 _He was falling apart._

 _He was dying— HE NEEDED FOOD._

Just then the front door rattled, it opened up with Machi calmly stepping in with a box of donuts.

The pink haired woman took a few steps inside before hearing Phinks yell out, "WATCH OUT THAT KIDS ON DRUGS OR SOMETHING!"

Cooly Machi began to raise the box of donuts over, moving them away from Gon dashing towards her. Only Gon's dark nen stretched out beyond his reach, manifesting a new form as strength filled shadow. It held her in place, freezing her like a statue.

As Gon's bright brown eyes lit up the room as he made his slow stroll over to Machi menacingly. Delusional laughing to himself, "HAHA! I… I GET IT! You think, Gon Freecss can't do anything! Gon Freecss is TOO WEAK, all fat and pregnant." He paused when he was right in front of her huffing, "THAT'S WHY YOU GREEDY BASTARDS WANNA TAKE ALL THE FOOD FOR YOURSELF!" He snatched the dozen donuts from her hand and took off running.

His flood of epic overpowered nen dissolving while he made a break for it. Soon as it set Phinks free he grabbed a knife yelling, "Machi! You gonna let that kid disrespect you like that?"

Feitan let out a holler, "Yeah we're gonna get him. Let's _cut_ his mini bratt out of him." He launched himself at Gon.

The 16 year old was taller and faster than him. The boy easily slipping out the way as he twirled with the donuts, Feitan crashed to the ground. His stomach growling angrily on why he hadn't put any in his mouth yet. He dumped them in and started chewing hastily, sucking on the delight flavor as he gulped them down. In the process of gorging himself, Machi took advantage of him being caught off guard and flung him.

Due to all his training, Gon did not fall easily. It took a lot to make him crumble and get down on his knees- especially when it came to a bunch of lunatics like these gang bangers. His feet dragged as he let himself slip back into the sofa. The pillows letting out a soft, ' _ppppp_ ' sound as they deflated under the added weight.

Machi's eyes twitched as she looked at the 3 boys in the house. The woman specifically looked ready to stuff Gon in a boy bag for stealing her food. In a pissed off way she kicked Feitan in the gut bellowing, "Why the fuck did you let him do that?"

"To hell if I knew he was gonna use his nen!" The short man barked back. He rose up to his feet, with his black eye mercilessly craving blood. He wasted no time to stand beside Machi, the woman now glaring at Gon.

The pink haired woman huffed, as she hovered over him. Gon was still laughing to himself almost pathetically caring on his own conversation.

"Don't freak out.. Pain is only temporary." Gon whispered to himself. "I just have to try and discover why I'm feeling this way." Then he chewed on his lip trying to ignore the obvious fact that he knew why he was feeling this way.

' _Pregnant, duh! The kid needed to eat.'_ His good common sense told him. While on the other hand the voices came back with, " _No you dumb fuck. One kid does not eat that much._ "

"I need your help!"

" _Says the baby killer.._."

"I.. I didn't kill her." Gon found himself screaming having an actually argument with the shadow figure dancing in the air. He couldn't keep a steady level head or take into consideration the other bodies around him. _WHY WERE OTHER PEOPLE AROUND HIM? Why couldn't they just leave him alo-_

A harsh punch was delivered to the side of Gon's face. His right eye throbbed as his neck snapped to the side, triggering an instinctive reaction to deliver a counter uppercut back.

The counter attack must of hit because there came a response, "What the fuck is this shit?" Feitan snarled about to unleash his signature move huffing, "I'm so close to…"

"Don't dude. It will bring this whole place down." Phinks put his hand on Feitan's shoulder. Instead he boldly raised the knife to Gon's swollen belly, "We use, _this._ " The blond boy grinned maliciously, as the short boy went to grab and hold Gon down.

Feeling the cool blade press against his shirt, triggered even more nen blast and screaming. Gon felt like he was being tortured, it was too dark to see anything. Everyone's words came out broken and distorted. All they did was smile in his face while causing him pain and agony. Inches of his whole entire body hurt, as his heart beat skyrocketed.

He couldn't focus, it was like he was placed in a pressure cooker and everything was slowly melting around him. His ears twitched picking up hints of sound, mostly Machi yelling curses at him incoherently. The woman's arm was extended almost like a tree branch it snapped and whistled to the tune of the T.V her leave like fingers appeared to be directing.

"Hehehe.." Feitan crackled as the boy wiggled below his touch. "This should show you. This is what you wanted wasn't it brat? The fame. The clout." He seemed to dig nails into Gon's eye sockets.

It felt like nails, it could have easily been something else maybe he really used a screw driver. It _just hurt,_ in a way to force the sockets from being able to blink again, flesh was tacked upwards in some manner-or no...no it was lured inwards almost glued to the T.V screen because Gon was unable to look away.

The smooth reading of the reporter's lips as she spoke, "Tragedy in the Hunter's Association today, with the death of the long time Hunter's chairman. Her death appears to be nothing short of murder." A few picture came up on the screen, "It appears our suspect list isn't shocking. What is shocking is the sudden turn of the former golden boy, Gon Freecss towards the side of evil. Such a good boy appeared to unleash a beast and now police and hunters are attempting to track down such a menace. While the world is watching we all wonder, how many more lives must be lost?"

Phinks was snickering, "Now that the whole entire world knows your name... You should understand." He move the blade along the curve of Gon's midsection, not yet slicing skin. He seemed to just indulge in the flinching and the sorrowful sound Gon's lips made as they watched in utter disarray.

Gon for a few seconds was zapped out of it, his brown eyes clouding over with darkness. As he looked on almost lifelessly, "I do." He said softly, "I really do." A nerve wrecking almost doll look stared right past Phinks and Feitan, because Gon was NOT terrified of them. Well not anymore, NOT after seeing that beast on the TV screen. The phantom Troupe was the least of his problems.

"Good now." Phinks pulled the knife away from Gon. Obviously not aware that his threats was not what was making Gon retaliate.

Feitan tucked his face deeper in his coat uttering, "So don't try that shit again. You need use, Gon. NEVER BETRAY US." He grit his teeth letting Gon go free over his cruel grip, "We'll fuck you up and your whole family."

"And we don't just mean betray by eating all our food!"

"Damn right! We mean, just as easy as the boss got you famous. He can take it away."

"NOT LIKE THIS!" Gon yelled so suddenly, his whole entire body jerking up as his mind rippled with conclusion, "Not famous like this! I didn't want..." He tensed up pleading, "I can..wanna HELP!"

"You wanted to get on TV, right? The world to know your name?"

"On 16 and pregnant not fucking global news net work!"

"THIS EVEN BETTER!" Machi pointed out. The woman shouting out praise, "Our boss is genius! And don't you forget it!" She retracted her hand from the tv screen and placed it on Gon. She cupped the smaller boy's face sternly informing him, "You're blessed to be apart of such a wonderful time in history."

Madly in horror, Gon began giggling. He was starting to tickle his own funny bone at the irony of it all. "Haha! Why is Gon Freecss feeling this way?" He licked his lips hastily, "I don't know why I'm like this. I don't know. I wanna be good. But good boys don't do this. Good boys don't break things. Good boys don't break people. Good boys don't go go crazy." He slapped his own hand reminding himself of the pain from his Aunt Mito's belt he felt growing up. Scolding himself, "Good boys listen to their guardians. Do the right thing. Always… hehehee!"

Machi dropped her hold on him after that. The madness Gon encouraged dispersed as quickly as they came. Somehow Gon shifted around and grabbed hold of the pregnancy emergency bag. For some reason despite the pain filling him, he opened up the bag taking a heavy sniff of it. The smell reminding him of his favorite person on this earth: _Killua._

He'd be back for Gon soon wouldn't he? Gon couldn't even remember the last time he'd seen Killua other than at the mall. They were on the way back from the mall….Then where did he go? Where was Alluka and Kalluto? Was he with them?

"Why? I can't remember…" Gon croaked out tugging on his stands of black hair. He banged his head on the coffee table in frustration trying to put together any missing parts. "Anything past throwing my Hunter's license away. What happened?"

" _You lost your shit on Killua. You lost your shit on humanity. You let your hatred take control of your actions and dictate over where you placed your rage."_

Gon squeezed his eyes shut thundering, "No! I never wanted to hurt anybody. I was just pissed off. It was just a mistake!"

He couldn't get enough food. Killua wasn't here for him. His stomach was cramping and doing something unnatural that made him feel like shit. _Ugh, what the fuck was happening? Was his kid relaxing, stretching, growing!?_

"I have nobody. My own kid might hate me!" Gon cried out in agony. "I'm a failure! Kurapika was right. I can't do this… I can't…" He felt a somber feeling zap through his body. "Why...can't someone just _help_ me out?" He grieved desperately sinking to his knees as his mind drawing a blank to what was going on here.

* * *

"What do you all even mean, your condo got broken into but only your fridge was robbed?" Chrollo's voice hit Gon's ears. The man was shouting loudly, "Does that even make any sense?"

There was more racket and complaints at the door. Some lady going on about how she now only had cat food in fridge and that she'd just bought groceries yesterday. One man threatened to call the police which seemed to be the final tipping point.

Chrollo snapping at them all, "GO AHEAD CALL THE PO-PO! SEE IF MY GANG DONT SHOOT UP THIS WHOLE FLOOR THEN TURN AROUND TO BODY THE WITNESS!"

The door slammed shut after that, making the only sound in the condo, Chrollo's footsteps as he walked towards Gon. The man seeing the 16 year old on the floor having a pity party with himself.

Chrollo nudged him saying, "Kid, wake up. Ya gotta get up, the police and Hunters Association are probably already here from all the crap I've been talking." He shook him frantically.

The pregnant boy groaned in a whining high pitched tone, "If It's not about food I'm not interested." as he shifted around on the floor.

"It's about Killua!" Chrollo insisted, pulling out a cloth he wiped some blood off Gon's face. He dabbed the cuts, "HE WON'T LISTEN TO ME." His black eyes softened as well as his tone, "But he'll listen to you."

"What are you talking about?" Gon questioned, grogginess evident in his voice. The 16 year old's appeared to be slightly concerned about everything that was suddenly going on, as he pushed away the wash cloth.

Chrollo took a deep breath he didn't know if he should be the one to break this news to Gon or not. He came out and said it anyway, "Alluka and Kalluto are dead." He said gravely. He swallowed as if there was an uncomfortable lump in his throat, "Killua's lost it. Hunters Association is probably in our building because people reported suspicious nen activity."

Tears filled Gon's eyes as he repeated, "Alluka and Kalluto..?" It came out broken almost as if confused. He didn't understand how this could have happened.

 _He saved them didn't he…?_

 _He had to have saved them… he didn't… he couldn't... WHY COULDN'T HE REMEMBER?_

Chrollo didn't really appear too emotional. He just swallowed again before saying, "They passed away, yesterday." He motioned to the clock on the wall, "Whatever you did to Killua made him go off the deep end... cursing up a storm and demolishing everything. It's like he only got murder on his mind."

"The Hunter Association… killed them?" Gon whispered out with astonishment. His heart sinking to his belly; water soaked into his bloody shirt. "NO ONE WONDER KILLUA'S HEARTBROKEN THEY PROBABLY KILLED THEM TO GET BACK AT HIM!"

Chrollo rose up from kneeling beside Gon urging, "Let's go find him."

Dizziness came to Gon upon standing, he felt a heck lot heavier. His body wasn't used to so much weight yet. He held onto the wall, mumbling, "Okay."

 _What would Gon do without Killua?_

" _The same thing you did when he was with you."_ The voices in his head stated the facts clearly to him; " _Act hysterical._ " A slick laugh seemed to submerge Gon with the dark truth, " _There's no escaping the hysteria inside. No one can heal it or make it better. Just like no matter how much you try, you can't heal Killua._ "

"No." Gon croaked out weakly, "He'll wait for me!" He shook his head hastily as deliriously his feet took off running.

"Kid? What… not now! Where are you going?" Chrollo hollered after him. The older man watching Gon talk to himself, as he dashed out of the condo.

Gon sensed it, Chrollo on his tail. But he didn't wanna talk to Chrollo right now, he didn't want anyone right now. All he wanted to focus on was getting rid of these feelings everything built up inside. The voices! The damn voices that kept taunting him, " _You can't out run us. You already accepted us, Gon."_

"Leave me alone! I'm going after Killua, he'll wait for me!" Gon screamed at the top of lungs, the rooms and door number fogging up in his tunnel vision. He could barely pay attention to where he was running. It felt like.. Like he was in the crazy mall again, _where people were looking at him. They laughed at his suffering like Gon was some sorta caged animal in the zoo._

"Gon Freecss!" His name broke through Gon's wild swamp of insanity as his confused brown eyes blinked down to see the face of a disgusted blonde. The woman grabbing his hand off the handrails before he could descend downstairs, "What are you still doing here? Didn't I tell you to get to a group home?"

Gon's bottom jaw trembled as he crackled, "I..I couldn't bring my-myself.. To.." He shifted around not recalling how he ended up at the staircase.

"Oh my gosh.." Biscuit rubbed her temples a bit pissed off, "I come here with squad investigating Nen rises and why am I not shocked to find you." She clicked her tongue with disapproval, "If you're here that means, Killua and his sibli-"

"Because you thought I was dead, didn't you?"

"Huh?"

"You..you.. YOU TRIED TO KILL US!"

A sly smirk crawled it's way up on Biscuit's face, "You believe that?" The blonde reached out to touch his head gently patting it. "Oh..geez."

"Stop it!" Gon jerked back away from her. "Don't touch me! You're responsible for killing innocents kids!"

"Look, it's not my fault. I didn't tell the Association to kill them. IT JUST HAPPENED."

"YOU COULD HAVE STOPPED THEM! YOU STOOD BY AND FOLLOWED ORDERS, YOU DID NOTHING! YOU'RE PART OF THE PROBLEM! YO-"

A harsh slap was planted on Gon's face as Biscuit glared up at him with tears in her eyes. In a ticked off way she spat, "Don't fucking say that to me! You have no idea. You have no clue what I'm feeling right now!" Her eyes darkened as she snapped, "We're all hurting, Gon. No one likes this! You think I find pride in seeing you and Killua run around like this?" She raised her voice, "WHY THE HELL ARE YOU RUNNING AROUND LIKE THIS?"

For a few seconds all Gon could do was blink at her. It all started because he wanted his own show. He just wanted to be recognized. He wanted to prove the world wrong. He wanted to show everyone that he was a somebody without Ging. Gon wanted the world to know who **_Gon Freecss_** was.

" _That's a stupid selfish reason."_ The voices in his head mocked, " _Say what Chrollo taught you. SAY THE TRUTH."_

Swallowing numbly Gon looked down at his heavy swollen stomach, then gave a twinkling gaze back up at Biscuit. The 16 year old finding it hard to admit, "I care about my chi-"

" _No! Killua lost his loved ones. You lost yours and got Kite back._ " The voices yelled at him harshly, " _SO IT'S ONLY FAIR._ "

Suddenly it was like Gon was transported to his own little dark corner of the world. Where it was just him, the voices, and an upside down universe where everything screwed in reverse. In a panicked breathless manor he shouted, "Fair for who? Fair FOR WHO?"

His pupils got blown as the voices appeared to manifest into a family of shadow figures almost. They all seemed to launch themselves at him, making Gon yell while drowning in hugs and affectionate kisses. Desperately he struggled to keep one hand afloat on top of the pile. The voices pounding in his ear drums at top volume howling, " _You wanted a happy family? Have some sunshine x3! Triplets."_

Spiraling deeper into his own madness, Gon freaked out. "AAAHHHHHH! AHH RAWWWW!" He started kicking begging for redemption or healing or something to aid his decent. Hell he didn't know how he got here, he didn't know where he was! His ears were ringing, numbing all the shots of joy or pride that swelled in his heart.

The reaction that came from the blonde woman was completely unpredictable. Concerned, Biscuit grabbed Gon. The woman shaking him hysterically pleading, "Hey! What's wrong with you, Gon? HEY! CUT IT OUT!"

"Triplets? I'm having triplets...what the fuck is Killua gonna say?"

"GON! HELLO!"

Her touch snapped Gon out of his trance as he jerked away from her. His brown eyes burned with hatred as he yelled, "I care about my children growing up in a safe world."

Biscuit busted out laughing. She was actually laughing- _hard._ Her long hair bounced as she repeated in a mocking tone, "You care for your kids, Gon?" Biscuit's voice turned cruel as she restated, "I once cared too, about two special kids that I taught." Her eyes shot daggers into Gon's soul. Reaching out she placed a hand on his shoulder, "But now I figured out the truth, it's better to be mad when the world has gone insane."

With that, Gon felt the floor drop from beneath his feet. To his horror he looked _up_ at the woman now standing on top of the stairwell with a smug gleam in her eyes reading: ' _Enjoy your final moment caring for your children on your way down.'_ Out of nowhere a sharp pain nailed into Gon's back and the pregnant boy let out a high pitched squeal with as he tumbled down the stairs.


	31. Don’t shake the embryo Gon! (31)

Gon fell victim to gravity, skidding on the floor aimlessly. Sounds clashed in his eardrums with bumps, thumps and painful screeching. It sounded like Biscuit and Chrollo were going at it up at the top, like neither one of them was worried Gon could possibly die on the stairwell by cracking his skull or crazy neck.

"Arrggaacck!" Gon yelped using the bit of nen he had left to shelter his belly from harm. He tried to tuck his neck down to prevent himself from hitting anything vidal, maybe if he was lucky he'd come out of this with a broken rib or two. How long was the flight of stairs anyway? How long was he gonna fall for?

"What the hell is that?" A snobby voice quipped.

"Looks like my ripe fruit. Maybe a little bruised.."

"Ahh!" A cheerful tune was whistled out as a single hand halted anymore of Gon's slow painful stairwell rollercoaster.

In a daze foggy hazel orbs arted up to see black ones, the long dark haired man smirked as he cocked his head to the side inspecting the pregnant boy. Almost in fear Gon felt his kids flutter around in his belly frantically. _Hell Gon couldn't fucking blame them._ The 16 year old was petrified having war flashback on how all this shit might go down.

"Where there is Gon, my little brother will come." Illumi motioned towards the window, a monster was outside rampaging.

Hisoka wasted no time busting down the windows, yelling over all the commotion. "Lover boy! We got your boyfriend!"

Then Gon felt himself being dangled outside of the broken glass, his body hanging like some prize in a toy machine they saw at Chuck E. Cheese. He didn't dare to look down, terrified of being dropped or actually seeing the slaughter occuring in the streets below.

In fact Gon squeezed his eyes shut so hard he tried to will everything away. _Will away the pain. Will away the suffering. Will away whatever the hell was happening right now_!

There was a loud possessive snapping of jaws then Gon felt himself dropped on the floor. Illumi shoved him forward like an chubby hamburger offering or something. The older boy saying, "There, there now Kil. You can have your little boyfriend back, so now finish the job."

"Oh God..." Gon breathlessly ushered, barely able to find his voice with his head still spinning. "Please don't do this." He started to back away unable to believe or face that whatever the hell _that thing_ in front of him was.

"What? That's Killua! _YOU MADE HIM LIKE THAT!"_ Illumi gave Gon a rough kick in his ass. Keeping the boy bent over like a slave he snarled, "I sorta have to thank you... Without you and Chrollo's help, Killua would have never became such a beast. Mother will be quite pleased."

Fear engulfed Gon's face; he could do nothing but freeze in his spot on the floor overwhelmed in astonishment. "K-Killua? How…..Can that really be you?" He oozed the words out, unable to stop himself from cowering from the monster standing before him.

If Gon said he wasn't completely terrified for his life he'd be telling a big lie. In fact if anyone _but Hisoka_ said, they weren't completely terrified for their life they would be telling a big lie. No normal person could NOT look at the lightning monster without pissing their pants a little. The way drool rolled out was horrendous the electric popping sounded like gunshots, and when it's nose was raised in the air it was restricted, barely enough room inside the hallway for the beast to move without causing maximum destruction to the walls and ceilings.

A rough hand patted Killua, "Listen here.. Kil. I feel bad for Gon getting stuck with an assassin. Just look at yourself, what he's done to you." Illumi taunted, dark eyes narrowing menacingly. "If this is his love for you, do us _all a favor_ and put him out his misery."

Just like that the monster jerked forward, each step it took made the floor seem to bounce around rattle. Powerfully the creature howled dropping down on all 4 legs allowing its height to no longer be a problem, however such actions didn't change his weight. Stronger than a fleet of fighter jets at top speed Killua plunged forward, baring teeth and all his claws digging into the floor as he ran.

"S-Stop, stop, nononono—" Gon pleaded, too overloaded to handle this situation right now. His kids were kicking, _he_ was kicking trying to escape. He began tearing up, breathing too fast, all of his common sense flying right out of his head in panic.

"Calm the fuck down," Illumi snapped, beating Gon once more. The oldest Zoldyck taking advantage of the fact Gon was basically immobilized due to his pregnancy, as he held him steadily in place. "You're going to upset Kil. This is his glorious moment, the time he finally becomes a real assassin!"

"Killua is going to kill me!" Gon hissed kicking Illumi hard in the ankles. The 16 year old couldn't stop his paranoia of how Killua would react if he found out Alluka and Kalluto were dead. Gon was supposed to protect them!

"That's the plan, baka!" Illumi snarled harshly. "The last part of Kil's assassin training," He said seriously, his expression darkening. "In order to truly achieve being the family heir he must overcome killing a person who he loves. The final job, mommy and daddy have allowed him!"

At the word, ' _Job?_ ' perked Killua's ears back up as he looked at all of them. The monster's jaw dropped as he made direct eye contact with Gon.

Confused Gon whimpered, "Crap…" as he tried his best to curl up in a ball (it hurt a bit with his heavy belly)—wanting to become invisible after this mix-up embarrassment.

"No not crap, you should be HONORED." Illumi insisted as if this was the best thing ever, "After so long! It all comes down to this! All the planning and traps we laid along the way! All the Hunters and people we had to pay off."

Hisoka let out a cruel laugh, "You aided them every step, Gon. I really enjoyed the show, you kept things interesting every step of the way. The part at the mall and the bank were my favs."

"You're all sick stalking psychos!" Gon spat bitterly.

Illumi hushed him vigorously, "All shall be revealed in good time. Good time." His eyes sparked with hatred as they brewed, "Now all that's left is to sit back and watch the slaughter."

Gon thrashed immediately, panting as his body weight shifted. He couldn't look up at the monster, too nervous to lay eyes on what's about to happen to him. Nimbly begging, "Take Hisoka. _Please_! Let me be last!"

At the simple command, the monster switched up directions at Godspeed towards the clown faced man.

A satisfied glint gleaned boldy in Hisoka's eyes completely enchanted by this newly discovered challenge. "So mmmmm~ delicious!" His devious smile grew, even when the monster pinned him down. Hisoka was still overloaded with joy as he praised ever bit of revolting smell and hot breath being breathed upon him, "Oh, Illumi? Do I have permission to fight your brother now?"

Brown eyes widened in horror as powerful flesh tearing claws rose in the air prepared to rip Hisoka to shreds. Gon almost lost another scream from his wet throat, but he quickly caught and replaced it with words. "YOU CAN'T FIGHT MY RAGE!" He found himself screeching at Hisoka. It had recently unraveled to him that the man was clearly beyond crazy, on some next level shit. Anyone else in their right mind would be GONE by now.

Illumi gave a menacing expression snapping, "You kill my brother I'll murder you then dance on your grave."

"Oh not, kill. Just beat him up a little bit." Hisoka spat out, licking a bit of drool off his face he laughed hysterically. "This should be fun!" His eye twitched slightly as he stared at evil lifeless blue eyes. Slowly Hisoka muttered, "Besides….There is no escape from the brink of death."

Sharp claws easily penetrated skin, spilling out a sea of guts onto the floor. Hisoka countered painfully delivering a blow to the side of the monster's face. The beast recoiled then growled going back in with lightning slinging showing no mercy.

Illumi cringed up a bit. He let loose his hold on Gon telling him, "Stay here like a good lamb for the slaughter." before jumping into combat, allowing parts of his body to be relentlessly being clawed at and about near torn off. The taller boy played distraction while his husband when on offence.

Easily all the bitter hatred in Killua flared up like flames on a grill, in a pissed off manner it was like he knew his torture wasn't going to make any real dent in Hisoka. This single fact enraged him, as he knocked a wave of ceiling to fall in hunks over them.

A loud bellow of, RRRaaaaaaaawwweeeehhh! Heeeewwwww!" rang through the air.

Anguish fell over the Gon as he frantically covered up his ears. He needed to drown out such a pitiful sound, to drown out such a ruckus, to drown out such things that actually might make him feel sorry for such a beast. Yet Gon's body refused to take commands, with his blown pupils he still could barely believe the sight before his eyes that this monster, was once his best friend, _his lover_.

 _When the human brain goes into a magnified state of shock… it was nearly impossible to break out of._

A distraught expression appeared on his face, "Killua… how…" There was no tears rolling down his face. It might have been because he was crying internally sadly to himself. The darkness that danced in his brown hollow eyes provided a conviction upon all his once shameful folly. Gon let out incoherent rant under his breath, mostly mumbo and jumbo. The red underlining point was, "HOW CAN THIS BE?"

" _You turned him into this mess."_ the voices testified as if a gentle reminder, " _All your rage and anger.. transferred.."_ their came a harsh laugh, " _You're your own worst enemy Gon. Don't you realise that? Did you learn anything from Kite's death?!"_

Gon couldn't prevent himself from screeching at the top of his lungs. Utter waves of panic washed over him, as he shook uncontrollably. The short boy struggled to scramble to his feet only to stumble backward landing on his butt.

At that moment Gon comprehended key facts:

His body was off balance, so there was no way he could run like this. Even with all his Hunter training— _this extra weight wouldn't allow it._

Amazingly his stomach had expanded so he had to pray while he waddled to his escape his laces didn't come untied. Because if he tripped IT WAS ALL OVER. He was CRASHING DOWN face first and his arms wouldn't hit the ground before his bump did.

He had to act efficiently. Outsmart; not out run. Find a solution to his turmoil...get Killua back on his side.

 _He was considering saying, "FUCK IT!" and walk like a duck over to Killua give him a big hug while screaming, "WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?"_

He scraped the last plan because Killua always expressed his will to die.

"Okay…" Gon placed a hand on his belly talking to his little ones. "Your dad is upset right now. For reasons that are debatable but easily my fault.." He crawled backwards until his shoulder blade hit the elevator door button, call it luck of incidental panic, he found his way inside of it.

Still bloodthirsty, the monster was infuriated to see the boy leave his sight. Killua bounced up and down as if creating a fit and throwing a tantrum like a little child. Dangerous blue eyes sharpened as if zeroing in to find his lover. So many smells filled him it was overwhelming, that this entire place was like a treasure cove of victims. A treasure cove for him to completely analiannihile and run wild to claim every bit of it for his own. Hed finally get his worthy bloody bath if he had to demolish the place brick by brick.

" _He knew…he'd have to kill you, Gon. You knew it too. Why else would Killua try to kill himself? TO PROTECT YOU!"_

"Killua would never do that!" Gon argued with himself. "Killua..he… _that_ thing isn't…"

Rapid pounding against the floor from all the stomping made the floor start to crack. The building swayed, and all Gon could focus on was getting the hell out. Upon seeing the massive beast finally rest his eyes on him, Gon pounded his hand on the bottom floor button. _Legit_ pounded. He punched a hole right through the system from pure panic.

All that met Gon's ears was more loud thrashing around that finally sounded like the floor had gave way. Unstably the elevator seemed to shake in it's shaft as the building started to creek, there was a heart stopping sound of cables snapping that made Gon wish he would have never went on this adventure. It was probably bad that Gon had just jumped to the ultimately last resort, but for now his circumstances looked so gray.

" _It's your monster, Gon. Your feelings. If you really wanted you could stop this any time you wanted."_ His voice recalling the power that Gon held in his hands.

Gon just didn't know to use it. He acted on impulse and right now he was scared crazy and there was no time to consider anything else.

" _Yours."_ The voices chanted softly, almost whistling a tune of utter devastation in Gon's ears. " _Remember….earlier you begged to see Killua."_

"I'm pregnant! I can't take this stress." Gon whimpered, taking a seat in the elevator as it made it's slow descent. It was sinking just like Gon was into despair; unable to ignore the responsibilities he was carrying inside him.

" _YOU TRIED IT."_

"That's impossible! Why would Killua lie to me?"

" _Correction."_ A sneer came, " _WHY WOULDN'T KILLUA LIE TO YOU?"_ A cruel snicker made Gon's blood boil, " _He lied to Alluka and Kalluto. Oh~and it appears Killua is merciless._ "

Gon rubbed his midsection, calming his offersping. He told them harshly, "Not yet. Not yet.. Please don't come now." A punch was delivered to his sides making Gon winced a bit, "You'll be early and I don't want ya'll to die..." In question let that last part sink in before adding, " _Again?_ Can..can you die twice and be reborn?"

" _If you want your kids to live. STAY FOCUSED LOSER!"_ A sharp voice rang out.

Soon as the cables broke, Gon shrieked at the top of his lungs. He could hear the conking of heavy feet thumping through the floor to catch up with those ugly shouts. With a loud unsettling, ' _thunk'_ the object he was taking refuge in had crashed back down to the ground level.

The rattling elevator began to fall apart sparking and pieces falling, leaving various cut marks all over Gon's face. Debris filled a portion on his mouth that was left agape, as his brown eyes dimmed completely engulfed in pain. There was barely any sounds other than a deaf tone ringing. But as the broken doors cracked open slightly, he could barely see the scene before him.

Dead bodies, blood…. _Lots of blood._ The title floor was drenched in ruby red. Drawing a glorious contrast to demonic blue eyes reflecting an everlasting need to deliver violence. The monster slunk like he was a part of the shadow world, his prowl pacing around his blood shower of dead bodies. His lightning stance spread sparks to everything it touched, he exposed his long tongue from his lips to lick his razor sharp chompers. All the while his eyes still yet to spot Gon, but his powerful nose had him on alarm.

A low deep throated growl came, "Grrr…." the beast seemed to jolt around, snarling in every direction. The monster painted Killua's heart black making it completely cold and his mind had no room for pity. For his heaven was one with many victims to consume, victims who became paralyzed with fear before he sliced open their soft flesh.

Speaking aloud unctuously Gon blabbered, "Their cries are music to your ears, their blood the finest perfume you love to keep spraying. To watch them suffer is your serenity," He watched Killua shove his claws in a woman's chest. It looked almost just like, _Biscuit_. He split her wide open impatiently. It looked like a flash of joy came in those cruel blue eyes.

"FFHHHeee…" The monster breathed heavily as his body heaved up and down. Bodly it strolled over to the elevator.

Gon held his breath.

The already dented up and ruined elevator doors squealed as it was pushed around, the sound of nails or claws on the metal making his mind wander. A need to brace himself occurred so Gon was reached out to search for something to grip. There wasn't anything special or heavy, it had simply been a rail the inside of the elevator. In raw terror he grasped it the best his arms could, there was barely anything for him to hook his finger onto, but he with another hand reached over to practically a tug of war trying to keep the doors in place.

An emotional tidal wave was now crashing down on him hard, his whole body quivering as the elevator door shook rocking back and forth. That was until the wild animalistic creature on the other side seemed to screech. It was a noise of pure frustration mixed with rage that it sounded so demonic that every muscle in Gon's body lost strength. All he could do was allow the elevator's door to shift along with all his hard work to be demolished in a heap disappearing so fast.

" _You already know your fate. Don't you, Gon? In seconds your throat will be ripped out, flesh demolished, blood staining the floor."_ The voices taunted him with the only true outcome of the situation.

"No! No..no no no no no no no." Gon sputtered out with water brimming in his brown eyes. He didn't want to give up or sacrifice his life. So relentlessly he began scrambling to catch it, even as the strong doors were slipping out of place and all Gon could do was pray for the best as he squeezed his eyes shut, slamming the door back in front of him. Both hands steadily held firm despite his strength and bravery fleeing from him, slamming the metal closed the sound echoed.

Another shriek, "DDAAAWWWWKK!" the scrabbling of frenzied lightning against metal. Again the doors were moved away from each other, this time far enough to get a glimpse of the monster lingering outside: bloody flesh, sharp teeth, the smell of home that Killua possessed. It was in a sense: _Killua_. But NOT him. Gon couldn't get it through his head yet he knew….. He knew that Killua would probably not be ready to hand him a shovel and force him to dig his own grave.

"Leave me alone!" The human howled pathetically, the words distorted by his sobs. It only seemed to make the monster on the other side _more_ ferocious. The door was moved a bit further. A hooked hand slipped through, the nails sharpened into knives, gripping the edge. It pried the door back a fraction more. Another few centimeters and it would be able to pop it open and expose Gon.

Gon desperately dug his finger in the railing. He thought his fingernails might snap off at the force. Ignoring all the pain shooting up his aching back, he jerked his wrist in the opposite direction, almost like a miracle the detrimental fate shining through started to lessen.

The monster unleashed a roar of defiance, but it's strength seemed to be fading. "NNNNRRRmmhh!" With a crunch the door heavily slammed shut, trapping it's fingers. Another cry, this one filled with pain rather than anger, and it was all _too_ human for it.

"Killua, shut up. Shut up! Stop acting like a fool." Gon let a few hot tears fall from his face. Jittering like a ping-pong ball bouncing back and forth on the table, Gon tried to break a bit of sense into him, "You aren't yourself, don't you get that? This isn't you! The Killua I know has a heart! He freaking loved his family! He loved his siblings in his own weird way, but he was going to change that. He was good an-."

In response the monsters cut off in mid-scream, thrashing trying to free it's hand from the door. The door creaked threatening to be sent flying in air.

Scrambling Gon pushed the meaty fingers through the cracks between him and freedom. They slid out with the sickening sound of grating bones, it made the 16 year old cringe but he put up with it, extremely grateful this was working.

But his gratitude didn't last long. Before Gon could even shove the last bulging finger back in the hole, the doors took off like a rocket flying and crashing into the wall creating a blunder of racket. Poor Gon didn't even have enough air left to scream with as a pair of bloody hands ripped him from his hiding spot.

Killua's hungous hands were like a toy machines, clamping Gon's arms to the side and hoisting him out the hole as though he weighed nothing. Gon squirmed trying to wrench himself away but struggled because of his large stomach.

Gon's heart was racing above race car speed, his whole entire weak body throbbed coming to terms with what was coming.

"I love you, so much! There are many people who love and care about you, Killua! Don't discard your humanity like this." Gon let out a rough slur of pleads. His weak body was like play-doh in Killua's hands free to be molded and shaped to which ever was to his pleasing.

The only sound in the entire building is Gon's sobs and Killua's breathing. The monster began walking on his two feet again, dragging Gon in his arms. Killua's flaring nostrils as he took in Gon's scent. He pressed his nose on Gon's shuttering skin, delightfully curling up his gums to reveal blood stained teeth, he let out a low rumbling possessive snarl. It sounded way to similar to, " _Gon. I love you too. You think I don't? Can't you see how much I want to protect you."_

Helplessly Gon shook his head, his black hair bouncing around as he chewed on his bottom lip. He still couldn't see where he was being carried but he figured it was somewhere deeper in this stupid shitty ass building! Such a shame there was no escape route from the monster's clutches. For Killua's greatest satisfaction lay keeping Gon near him. Indulging in Gon's sweet chocolate candy smell, Killua licked up Gon's face. He caught a taste of crimson delectable ruby droplets, that melted tenderly on his rough tongue. Affectionately Killua seemed to be planting kisses all over Gon to try and get him to calm down, licking his tongue all over him.

The gross saliva cleansed Gon's cuts and wounds. But it left him feeling even more nasty than ever. He didn't stop shaking as Killua attempted to cuddle with him. The 16 year old squeezing his eyes shut mumbling, "Okay…Now I'm even more scared."

The monster seemed to take the hint of lacking back it placed Gon daintily on a slightly wrecked chair in the hotel lobby. The smaller boy trembled slightly as his creation somehow found their way to lightly rubbing the underside of his tummy. Killua's eyes seemed to be more relaxing than ever pleading, ' _Please…_ _Don't be scared, Gon. I'm here with you._ '

A wave of terrifying guilt washed over Gon as he winced slightly at the pressure being applied to his stomach. He complained, "Killua, you're what's scaring me!" He waved his hands attempting to get the monster to move away from him.

In a sad recoil the monster tried to present pure intentions. Killua pressed against Gon's shirt, "M-mmm...errr..hemm.." He let out a pleading sound.

Firmly hazel eyes focused on lightning cold orbs that seemed to be leaking with dedication. Taking a deep breath Gon attempted to keep his voice free from being nerve wrecked, "Yes? What.. our..? Our family?"

Strangely the monster moved a bit, reaching over in a pool of blood, to wet its thumb. Then Gon felt Killua nudge his stomach again. He looked at the thing puzzled for a few seconds, as his face scrunched up with a sudden realisation flooding over him. "Oh!" Gon pulled up his ruined torn shirt to reveal his swollen bump.

At the sight Killua gave a nasty looking content grin, he raised his bloody thumb upwards. Gon half-heartedly feared for about 5 seconds the monster might slice him open take the babies and leave him for dead. But his fears diminished as Killua gently pressed his large thumb on Gon's belly. It left a red imprint~then _another, another, another,_ and a slightly pause with a little twist to cave in was a little knuckle nudge.

Then skillfully Killua began to draw designs on the 5 little red blotches, something close to stick figure bodies. Gon watched on curiously speaking the art outloud, "You, I, Alluka, Kalluto…" He looked at his stretch marks and the little nudge made near his belly button, "Pegy?"

Killua eagerly nodded contently. Almost proud that this was his best painting ever done on the best canvas ever. He motioned to where he stole his, ' _paint'_ from.

Upon seeing the dead Hunter's body on the floor, Gon screwed up a challenging eyebrow. "We build our family off the blood of our enemies?"

Soft vibrations began coming from Killua's throat making Gon flinch back almost terrified. That must have been the wrong answer. What if Killua was asking were Alluka and Kalluto were? What the hell was Gon supposed to say, ' _Oh yeah it's fine Killua, they like sorta died..but not really. I'm gonna have triplets so sit tight for a few more months.'_ was that allowed? Even if he had courage he was sure Killua wouldn't buy that shit.

" _ALWAYS TELL_ _THE TRUTH!_ " The voices cackled viciously.

Wearily, he brought his hands to lay idle on his midsection. At the action, the monster seemed to whimper laying down observing what Gon planned to do with his mural.

"It's good, Killua. Nice vision, but _nearly_ an impossible one…" His voice broke back on the verge of tears as he submitted to his personal torment. "I'm sorry." Gon confessed his sorrows, "I didn't mean for your siblings to die."

At those words, _the monster lost his shit._


	32. Don’t shake the embryo Gon! (32)

The monster lo... _Killua_ lost his mind. Gon was sure of it. The way it dropped him to the ground then began to act hysterical. A bad feeling started to mix up Gon's gut as he tugged on his shirt pulling it back down. Regret racked his brain as he realized he probably shouldn't have said that.

In a desperate drive to escape, he began to crawl on his hands and knees. Boldly scrambling away, making Killua growly lowly. A claw took a swipe at Gon barely missing him, the pregnant male yelped reaching his hands out to grasp anything to steady himself with.

His hands caught a hold of dark heavy curtains blocking all the light from coming in through the window. A bright idea hit Gon as he attempted to scamper away. He kicked his heels as he squealed like a mouse, trying to avoid Killua's now full on pissy attack. However slinking away in the comfort of the dusty curtain, he built up an adrenaline rush that inspired him to pull something that might actually be the most stupidest thing on his list of stupid things ever, even possibly breaking his stupid on the scale.

A charming gleeful glint dashed in his coffee toned eyes as he raised up his hands. Warning light kicks fluttered his insides, but Gon paid them no mind right now. The kids had been moving around for a while now; he didn't know if it was because their was barely enough room in his stomach for the 3 of them or if they were just as panicked sensing the predicament after being jostled around.

Either way, Gon spat out, "Killua! You'll be pissed at me later! But then you always forgive me..." A light smile crawled on bleeding busted lips, "So I'm not worried! I'm more concerned about pushing my body to its limits and hurting our kids. Forgive me, for using a cheap trick!"

Going for it all, Gon drove his hands to pull the curtain upwards to block Killua's claws that fell almost _too_ deadly close with Gon's face. He remained standing behind the curtain boldly watching Killua begin to relentless tear the cloth to shred. Soon the loud cracking of the curtain rod hit the air as a shattering crackle sent the plastic rod in half. The rod broke in an easy pull sending the curtains swept their way to the ground along with Killua who collapsed loudly screeching.

"I got him!" Hisoka's voice carried as he his bungee gum fell into view. The clown man smirked as he revealed himself. He looked at Gon humming, "Now stay still."

"Heck no!" Gon bellowed. He was sure that he ditched those two back upstairs. How the heck did they get here? Unless… his eyes flickered allowing him to see the nen Hisoka was using. The man had laid a carefully planned trap of course! Then allowed the monster to get tangled up in his own madness.

Illumi kneeled down by Killua's side muttering, "Easy now." He calmly ran his hand through the mop of white hair, "Shhh… You're so close to killing your target, Kil." It was almost endearing what a good older brother Illumi could be, when he wasn't a complete asshole to Killua.

The man ran his lengthy finger down Killua's neck feeling for a pulse, when he felt one he gave a smug grin. Then delivered a thumbs up, to Hisoka. At that the clown man backed up telling Gon, "Better take a few steps away from the front."

"Wh-" Before Gon could even blurt out ' _why?'_ an BMW came crashing through the front door. It almost knocked Gon right out for the count if he didn't snap to it and scoot over.

The BMW with the last name, ' _Zoldyck'_ spay painted on, pulled up before them. The gold rims were still spinning, as single tinted window rolled down to surprising reveal a familiar face.

"Kurapika?!" Gon almost thought his mind was playing tricks on him. He couldn't believe his eyes for a large number of different reasons.

The door opened abruptly without the proper greeting: _hello'_ or ' _long time no see_ ' instead Kurapika launched into action. Briskly he spun around commanding, "Come on, Gon! Hurry up! Change Killua back to normal so we can get outta here!"

"Umm-" Gon began to choke on his words jolts of torment rippling through him.

"I can't approve of your right to that action, Gon!" A pissed off voice snarled, as the door swung open from the staircase. Stepping out was Chrollo wearing a face of absolute disgust, as he pointed to Gon angrily.

The smaller boy almost jumped in shock, "Whaa? What do you mean?"

"I mean, you work for me now," His voice turned deadly, "And I worked way too damn hard for this perfection!" Chrollo spat almost like a mad scientist he started pacing back and forth.

"Huh?"

"I won't rest until Hisoka is 10ft under!"

Kurapika's eyes widened slightly, "You joined the Spider?!"

"You.." Gon darted his eyes around trying to uncover hidden messages. "JOINED UP HELPING KILLUA'S FAMILY?!"

"HEY! HEY! I CALLED YOU OUT FIRST!"

"WELL DAMN GUESS WE BOTH HAVE SECRETS!"

Chrollo didn't say much of anything he just closed his eyes. He couldn't bare to watch Killua have a melt down over his family. It brought back too many painful memories of how Hisoka killed off the Phantom Troupe who was _his closest thing to a real family._ He felt every heart breaking sob and cry of disbelief that fell from Killua's lips.

 _He knew the feeling Killua was going through… the feverish feeling of being about to hit rock bottom, yet every time you think you hit rock bottom it only gets worst.._

 _It would ALWAYS ONLY GET WORSE._

 _The world didn't like pretty things, so it destroyed love and happiness._

He pitfuly looked at Killua. The monster deep in denial over everything. Killua was crazed, talking to himself with all that incredible power flowing through his veins.

Chrollo was terrified at such amazing strength, yet it was mortifying that he couldn't draw away from every hole slammed into the wall and all the destruction.

 _The place was slowly tumbling down, just like Killua's sanity to zero._

The monster roared with despair and alarm as the bungee gum withheld him. Hisoka seemed to be tightened the holdings as he threatened, "Gon, no more wasting time now."

"Don't listen to that menace, Gon! I _made you_ who you are now! All this power, this monster at your disposal." Chrollo held out his hand almost as if coaxing Gon to waddle over to him. The gang leader cocked his neck to glare at Illumi and Hisoka. Lecturing, "If you let them take Killua away from you, you'll never see him again. And you told me you wanted Killua to feel and understand you, well now he does. He _does_ more than ever!"

"Gon! I wouldn't have helped out Killua's crazy family if I didn't think doing this would help you!" Kurapika shouted over Chrollo. The blonde taking a deep breath as he took a step near Gon, the over protective beast looming over him snarled a bit. Especially as Kurapika placed a hand on Gon's shoulder, "Family helps each other out."

"No, family doesn't hold each other back." Illumi cut in harshly. "If you don't let Kil finish his job….You're being selfish, Gon." He raised his needles in the air threateningly, "Don't make me force you to do it."

Of course the rowdy nuisance in Gon's head had to throw in, " _If you had to choose, Gon… who would it be? You HAVE TO MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICE!"_

"AAAAAAAAHHHH!" Gon hollered out, in mist of pure frustration. "There are too many decisions! I _can't_! I don't care about half these things! I'm not selfish and no one told anyone to do anything for us!" His head began to throb as tugged on his hair strands. He cried out, "Killua usually checks if people are trustworthy or not! I...I can't do this! What if you're all correct or all fooling me?"

Everyone wanted to hurt him, make him confused, make him insecure.

A quick laugh entered his mind, " _They want to hurt you because with you gone, life would be easier. Think about it your name is gon anyway.. The symbolism is that everyone wants you to leave them the heck alone."_ That sent the voice wild, they started ringing his name driving him up a wall again.

"Now, Gon don't be unreasonable!" Kurapika huffed as he pulled out his chains. His gray eyes glowed up to red as he narrowed them at Chrollo. "Don't worry I'll even the guessing field."

"YOU FOOL!" Chrollo howled. The mob boss jumping back as Kurapika came slinging for him. He dodged all the chains heading in his direction careful not to get caught in a trap. "Gon! Listen to me, they'll capture you both!" Chrollo warned. "I'm the only one trying to hel-"

Hisoka sent on of his sharp cards right at Chrollo's mouth, warning the man to zip it. He whispered, "Don't think I'm done playing with you just yet."

Chrollo turned his head slightly, the card jabbing into the wall. He glared at the other man his eyes burning full of hatred. He wouldn't allow Hisoka and Illumi to get away with this no matter what they said or did. Chrollo couldn't let this happen! He'd come too far to watch his achievements be demolished.

Aggressively he grabbed on the chains using his bare hands to yank the blonde towards him. Chrollo whipped out a knife from his side pocket, just as Kurapika buzzed by him. Sharp ends of the knife slicing off hair as the chains cut deep into flesh.

At the sight of his blood splattering out, Chrollo let loose a cruel grin. "This is why… I find this business rather _fun_." He spun backwards, his earrings bouncing as his fist flew to dig in the blonde's sides.

At the sight of his friend getting beat up, Gon shouted: "Kurapika!"

"Shh..!" Chrollo hissed, he grabbed the younger male. Easily he struck the blonde down aggressively pressing a knife to his red eyes. The man threatening to stab out the crimson orbs as he had the tip glaze over Kurapika's lashes. Sternly Chrollo began to lecture, "Ya see, Gon. You shouldn't be upset and crying over the chain user. Your little _friend_ here hasn't been honest with you."

Gon's brown eyes darted around fearfully before he blabbered out, "Huh?"

"Damn you!" Kurapika screamed sending his chains jabbing into Chrollo's sides.

Chrollo didn't seem to mind the pain; suffering laughing through it he insisted, "Go head! Tell him!" The sharp blade grew closer to Kurapika's eyes as he hammered out, "TELL HIM NOW!"

Shamefully he chewed his bottom lip, "I killed the Hunter's Chairman! Demolished the chain of command from the top!" Kurapika spat out his mouth so quickly it was almost a piggy squeal.

Gon's pupils blown in disbelief, "But.. but you called and..and.. Warned us?"

"EXACTLY!"

"Kurapika, did.. Did you want this to happen?"

"Course not! I want to ensure Chrollo's absolute death and destruction. Killua and you are just in my way!"

At those words Chrollo blinked his eyes twice. Taking the whole entire thing into process as he tightened his hold on Kurapika. "Oh… see _this_." He chuckled a bit, "This is why we have a lot of stuff in common, Gon." He motioned of the boy to come closer. With every step Gon took, Chrollo's grin grew wider. "We made this explosion. _All of it._ Take it in-REAL GOOD."

Gon was taking it in. He held victory in the palm of his hand now. But victory _wasn't_ supposed to hurt! This sting of betrayal wasn't supposed to—! Stomping his foot, Gon's expression was drenched in rage as he pointed at Kurapika harshly accusing, "I THOUGHT YOU CARED ABOUT US?"

"I do." Kurapika reassured with a loving nod. There was not a hint of deceit in his words as he confessed, "With all my heart, with all my soul. Which is why I did this!"

A boatload of needles were thrown in Gon's direction. The boy didn't even flinch, as a black wall of nen shot up blocking the on slaughter of destruction. It made Gon's senses perk up even more aggressively as he snarled at Illumi, "What's your damn problem? Can't you see, IM HAVING A CONVERSATION! WHY DONT YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND GO SMOKE DICK!"

"Oh?" Illumi cut his eyes, "So you're getting a little bold now." He watched the darkness encase in a swarm around Gon's body. The oldest Zoldyck's expression hardening as he muttered, "Finally achieving your hopes and dreams got you hype?"

"This isn't what I wanted! No one was supposed to die! No one was supposed to get hurt...my actions...everything.." Gon's expression darkened as he hissed, "We're all as harmless as laughter."

" _That's right, Gon. Laughing… laughing in the face of the world was your MISTAKE! Trying to find joy, A MISTAKE. Wanting a happy ending? A MISTAKE!_ "

Hisoka let out a dry laugh, "Heh…I find it rather cunning. I wonder about all the madness brewing in that head of yours."

" _Are you proud of all your decisions? They led to this disaster. "_

"Show him!" Chrollo boomed. He tossed Kurapika to the ground losing interest as he nagged, "YOUR POWER! DON'T LET ANYONE STEP ON YOU!"

Illumi remained unphased, pressuring, "Yeah." He reached out hands beckoning Gon. His voice sounded like a sirens from the sea calling out his insanity, "Show me the darkness in your heart." He put the final nails in the coffin as he urged, "HOW MUCH YOU LOVE, MY LITTLE BROTHER."

Gon let out a hoarse scream at the top of his lungs. Air entering and exiting madly as he sounded an alarm of how outrageously long gone his mind was at this point. He spoke hysterically to the shadows on the wall, "If.. if I cou-oouuuld get Killua back. _My_ Killua baaaahh!" The wheels of sanity did a 360 sending the world seemed flipping upside down and changing to black once more. In the terrible terrors there was minical laughter that recalled him of an unspeakable error. "Killuahhh.. never had to do anything for me. He was just a bit mcuuchhaah at timess. If I..I want, Killua Zoldyck back. Killua Zoldyck was my lov-" Gon's fist slammed down in case of nen filled rage.

Almost as if responding to a title or name sanity seemed to register: "You called me, Zoldyck." The monster interrupted, tugging against the retrainst holding him back. He flailed around claws drawing discordant cries from the walls.

The world seemed to go dead silent. The strange new sound of the monster's voice halted Gon's meltdown. He froze in place almost unable to believe—his mind blocking out everything but Killua's stern face.

"I heard you." Killua huskily declared, finding his human vocabulary voice amidst all the madness. "Call me _that_ again."

Gon cautiously took a step forward, his teeth aching and his bones humming. Instinct urged him to run, to hide, to get away before the world and time matched up again.

Killua slouched before him, eyes glowing like lanterns behind the veil of his hair. He smiled as he saw Gon come near, showing off his teeth: too sharp, too long, too deadly.

 _Inhuman._

"You actually won't kill me." Gon whispered as he stumbled forward. "Zoldyck."

Killua's smile seemed to grow wider the closer Gon got to him, his devous midnight eyes luminous and terrible. He flexed his muscles, grinding against the pain of the bungee gum holding him back.

Gon paused leaving a good few inches between them. "What do you want from me?" His voice seemed broken lost and confused, as if grasping for clues he'd been washed away. He couldn't miss the flash of glee in the monster's eyes, or the way it sucked in a breath as if it were trying to taste his fear.

"My family." Killua huffed out gazing at Gon's midsection.

Urgently Gon felt his heart strings twist as he motioned for Illumi to move out his way. At first the man was reluctant but soon slunk away from them. Allowing Gon to inch a bit closer to his monstrous lover.

Killua's hand reached for Gon's face, fingers half-curled to not slice through skin.

Gon froze, not even breathing as Killua stroked his face, the feel of fingers like sandpaper and slightly crusty. His tan skin ached under the foreign gentleness, near-pain rippling outward from the strange point of contact. "Accidentally... I-aaah," Gon's voice came out breathless, his confusion stripped bare under Killua's gaze.

Killua pulled away, the absence of his hand as nerve-wracking as its presence. "Gon," He said, beckoning for the boy to come closer. "I want my family. You promised."

Gon hesitated, "R-remember...y-oo..you said, that… the baby and I were the most important thing? Well...n-ooow.. we're having more bab-"

Killua recoiled, aggressively cutting him off. "YOU SAID I SHOULD LOVE MY FAMILY TOO! MY SIBLINGS RIGHT? YOU SAID THAT RIGHT!"

Gon let out a shriek quickly wrapping an arm around his stomach, "I mean.. You'll have them back soon? I- don't know how it happened."

A more sad wrecked expression flooded Killua's face, pure hurt everlasting bloomed. "Why did you turn me into a monster first place…?" His voice raked up nothing but human emotions, "Didn't you do it to PROTECT them. _You promised._ To protect them! Protect them from me and my craziness!"

"I'm crazy too! You're my undoing. My bearer of my anger and my hatred, the reason is because I'm," A yelp tore from Gon's throat, "Yours, Killua Zoldyck!"

He placed his hand right on top of the creature's forehead. Unleashing a force of his nen to grace the older boy's face. Honestly he wasn't sure what he wanted to do, but was sure he craved to see a sight for sore eyes.

Killua was unable to respond aside from his mouth twisting which allowed him to start cursing, "Ahh! AAAHHHHHHH!" His body jolted up and down as he kept screeching, his sword like claws shrinking back to more so a knife size.

He large creature's body seemed to magically disappear, large bones seemed to be grinding back down to regular size, when shrinking back to original height. As finally his teeth sank back into his gums, the teens entire body seemed to be smoking as beams of darkness swarmed all around him.

If it wasn't for all the painful screaming the process of Killua transforming back to normal was almost breathtakingly beautiful. For his pale skin reflected the light and his glossy blue eyes shined like a rainbow after a storm, and his ripped up shirt and muscles on display made him a fine piece of eye candy. Fluffy white hair fell sloppily over his face and his rounded lips parted hungrily, as his hands reached out desperately to clamp around someone or something. With his cheeks lightly dusted with fluster, all the cries out his lips sang a melody invoking the plea of freedom.

Even though it seemed like Killua's body had stopped reverting to its original form, Gon was too cautious say anything. Curious brown eyes stared at the trembling almost pale and sickly looking body as it laid upon the floor now letting out steady groans of pain.

The boy backed up a bit, until he bumped into Kurapika. The blond haired man motioning for Gon to say something only to have the boy shake his head vigorously. There was not a single part of Gon's mind ready to comprehend what was going down.

"Kil. Get up." Illumi said clearly tired of this sappy Disney channel level shit. He motioned for the boy to stand huffing, "Mommy and Daddy want you back home."

The first thing that Killua caught sight of was his lovely sweet drop of happiness. "Gon." He struggled a bit to snap to consciousness, "Ughh.." Killua sat up in a foggily cutting his eyes.

Guilty Gon averted his gaze, speechless.

Awkwardly the tattered teen struggle to get back on his feet. A deep frown embed on Killua's face as he scolded, "Gon, don't ignore me." He zoned out everyone else keeping his sight on Gon as he made his way over to him.

Gon closed his eyes putting his hands over his face shyness taking over due to shame. _He fucked up. He knew he fucked up._ Nothing was worse than that feeling if knowing you've done wrong.

"You have nothing to say?"

Gon didn't dare to shake his head. Not even when Killua's bruised fingers kissed the end of his neck, tilting his head up. The sun ran over Gon's face making his eyes shimmer as they met blue.

Killua repeated, "You _really_ have nothing to say?" His stone cold expression was conveying much more than his words did.

Chewing on his bottom lip, Gon couldn't find good reason to speak. He just looked at Killua's completely wrecked face and fought back a sob. The blood that trickled down from his forehead and the scratches on his cheeks, then the crazy way his disheveled white hair fell—he looked like some hot fallen warrior or something.

"That's fine. BECAUSE I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY!" Killua pulled away from Gon. Proceeding to glare at everyone else dusting himself off and informing them. "I don't know about this damn job, but I sure as hell wanna know who approved of it. Because I nerfed the Hunters Association so anyone with ANY QUESTIONS." His whole entire mood turned even more cold, "Can answer to Gon."

Gon darted his head up. Gon knew the feeling, Killua was having. It was how he felt when he lost Kite. For so long Gon had wanted Killua to feel _this pain._ The same pain Gon had to bear for so long.

Killua pointed to Gon accusingly, "YOU made me like that. I don't want that blood on my conscious. NOT ANY MORE."

Illumi raised a single eyebrow at his brother, "What are you talking about?!"

Killua seemed ready to combust in rage "OF ALL THIS!" He threw his hands up angrily. "GON WANTED THIS, _HAVE IT!_ I'M DONE FIGHTING!"

"You're done fi-" Chrollo's words got cut off by Hisoka once more. The action made Chrollo growl lowly. He had been close... _so close._ Now these no good bottom feeders where gonna mooch off his success and take Gon and Killua away from him. He'd show them!

Illumi grabbed Killua's hand harshly, "Kil! YOU'RE AN ASSASSIN!" He slapped him hastily reminding him, "Killing people is in your blood."

"I don't give a fuck!" The teen barked back. "I'm done here. From now I'll only protect when people attack me." His eyes shot daggers at Gon as he snapped, "I actually _keep_ my promises."

Gon bit on his bottom lip until it drew blood. Voices sneering, " _People die everyday. People die! That's just how the world works! DON'T YOU KNOW EVERY YEAR, 365 DAYS WE ALL LIVE PAST OUR DEATH DAY AND WE DON'T KNOW WHEN IT IS!"_

Killua emphasized Gon's reaction almost mockingly, "But don't concern yourself on _my_ account, love. My error is that I TRUSTED YOU to do something for someone else. So ya know what! Attacking the Hunters Association, getting you to hate them, guess that was ALL ME TOO! I killed them!" The boy broke down sobbing hysterically shouting till he was red in the face, "GODDAMNIT!"

"Well…" Illumi hissed informing Killua grimly, "It's best the family hears about Alluka and Kalluto deaths from us, before the Hunter Association holds it over their heads in shame."

"Like I trust a damn word out of your shitty mouth." Killua exploded. He pointed dead at the center of Illumi's shirt, "You could have saved Kalluto and Alluka! You could have, but no you wanted me to finish some dumb job!"

"That was out of my control."

"Out of my control my ass…. You stalked Gon all the way here, yet you're telling me you lacked the damn time to save-"

"Killua, it's true." Kurapika cut in, his tone serious.

"K-kur..Kurapika!?" Killua babbled out in shock. "What are you doing working with my parents?" Suddenly he felt a bit of distrust in his blue eyes as they witnessed blond strands of hair blow in the wind and a stern facial expression ready for blood.

The blonde clicked his tongue with distaste, "What I _have to_." Kurapika snapped his heated crimson eyes flashing. The man held open the car door commanding, "Now shut up and get in the damn car."

Killua looked ready to reject, but catching a glimpse of Illumi's stone cold face he quivered. The blue eyes boy taking a deep breath and saying, "I'll go. But I'm getting fresh clothes first." He took a step forward.

"Hey, Killua if it makes you feel any better." Kurapika gave a little shrug, "They're dead because someone who never really valued life was _never alive_ in the first place."

For a few seconds it was like the world had crawled to a stop for Killua. All he could do was mouth, "What..?"

Kurapika once again tried to offer words of wisdom, "Isn't that what you thought when you killed The Chimera Ants or any other of the people you hate?" The blonde gave a light smirk, "I try not to think about it much. Especially the bastards who murdered my clan." He made direct eye contact with Chrollo then lowered his tone so only Killua could hear him, "I'm not avenging their deaths because I had some personal connection to each of them. I'm doing it because in a way, I'm upset I'm still alive and had to find reason to live on."

"Tch!" Killua's eye twitched slightly unable to unravel if Kurapika's method was selfish or pure genius. "What's that supposed to mean for me?"

The blonde waved his hand outwards, "You still have Gon." Then he pointed at himself, "You still have Leorio and I." He chuckled lightly, "You still have hope is all. So," His expression darkened as he placed a hand on Killua's shoulder squeezing it harshly, "You're not _allowed_ to wallow in despair. Despair is for the broken hearted and hopeless."

The teen flinched a bit sinking inwards, he shook his head vigorously. "I'm not mad at Gon." Killua spoke huskily, jerking away from him. "I'm mad at myself."

Upon hearing his name in the conversation Gon's expression fell flat. Mentally he was very alarmed at the idea of Killua returning to his abusive parents. Gon frowned, feeling like this whole downward spiral was his fault. He had to say something, didn't he? Could he really stand idly by and let Killua get sucked back into that madness?

His voice cracked slightly as he called out, "Killua!"

The tall teen whipped around so fast Gon thought he was gonna yell at him: " _Go AAWWWWAAAAYYY!"_ Killua grit his teeth, his eye twitching a bit as he oozed out, "WHAT?"

Gon swallowed nervously swaying back n forth saying, "Can...you, umm.. see." He pointed down at his feet, "If my shoes are untied?"

Killua looked downwards following Gon's finger; then slowly came back up to see Gon's dead sweet little innocent expression. His eyes cut below as his face twisted up in absolute confusion over the off topic request. Opening his mouth it tugged upwards in disbelief, "Why?" He harshly whispered out, "Why are you asking _this_?"

Gon leaned forwards, standing on his tippy toes to plant a kiss on the tip of Killua's ear. His soft lips spoke out against them, "Because I can't reach."

The only response he got was Killua dropping to his knees. The boy steadfast began double knotting Gon's shoelaces so that his angel didn't trip himself. Lowly murmuring, "Baka…"

Gon smiled smugly at the action, pleased his plan had worked. "I just felt like I should remind you….everything you might lose submitting to your parents will."

At that Killua's eye twitched once more. He rose up to full height. Challenging, "Didn't you give in and submit to the _will_ of your voices?"

The smile flew from Gon's face, replaced by a troubled plea. "I didn't choose to be schizophrenic!"

"HOW COULD YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVE I'D KILL YOU, GON?" Killua shouted staring the boy up and down viciously. "I love you!" A few tears rolled down his face as bashfulness flooded his cheeks red. Lowly he uttered, "And...I thought…" Shaking his head he wiped his eyes, "Screw it! When we meet my parents, you just sit down, shut up and smile!"

"But y-"

"I don't wanna hear it right now! I can barely look at your face without getting the urge to punch you in it."

Somberly the obsedian haired boy tucked his head down numbly. Embarrassment filled him as Killua dragged them both to the car, sitting them down in the leather back seat. Gon figured he should be thankful that Killua would at least sit by him, instead he felt petrified.

He couldn't hear Killua grumbling to himself, and Gon could only imagine his lover ranting about shortcomings. His Schizophrenia wouldn't let him focus in on anything all he heard was snickers, " _What fool to believe your own mind!_ _You can't be trusted._ "

At that moment Gon wished he could use Jajaken again, because he needed a good punch in the face to shut the voices up. _To shut the world up!_ Maybe everyone in the world just needed a punch in their face. Sometimes a good punch was all it took to knock sense into somebody.


	33. Don't shake the embryo Gon! (33)

Killua's voice rang out clear as day, "Father, Mother you don't understand. I'm all he has left." He placed an arm around Gon protectively glaring at his parents.

A feminine voice was crying, "Sure! I bet you didn't say that when your little brother died."

"I..I did everything I could." Killua began to beg, a numbing feeling gnawing at his heart. "Please believe me, Kallu-"

Thunder clapping slap shook the whole ground. It was followed by a scream and harsh cursing only to be ended by, "Don't you say his name! Don't ever say his name again. How dare you betray your family for _him._ " A deep more masculine voice picked up the condescending conversation.

"But Father.. You were the one who told me to protect my friends. I.. I love Gon with all my heart." Killua choked out. Boldness laced in his voice as he declared loudly, "He is my family, too." Lowly he repeated, " _Family_ …" It was like a broken uncomplete note in his perfect harmony. One that didn't make sense anywhere to him but he so desperately wanted it to.

"I don't understand, Kil. I really don't. We let you have fun, but now you come back home with your pregnant boyfriend. Honestly, what the hell is wrong with you? You're 16! You can barely take care of yourself."

"But we're rich!"

"That's not the point! The point is you disobey a direct condition."

There was the sound of more thunder in the sky, this time followed by rain pouring down. The water falling harshly, over Killua's begging pitifully over and over, "If you have to punish anyone, let it be me. Punch me around a few times, tie me up and let me be a meal for the rats. But don't touch Gon."

An unease gasp was heard through the room. It came from the woman who was shaking with pure unrest, as tears flowed down her face. She babbled out, "He's a pregnant freak of nature!"

Immediately Gon froze, he felt his thought suddenly mash up with reality taking place right now. Killua's mom had just called him a pregnant _freak of nature._

" _That is what you are right..? Biscuit.. She thought it too. That's why she PUSHED YOU."_ The voices in Gon's head reminded him suddenly giving him flashbacks to everything. His memory bell started ringing uncomfortably loud as everything started to connect back into place.

"Gon is my lover." Killua said unwavering, "Even when I'm upset at him. I still love him."

The lady stomped her foot in complaint, "No matter how much we told you the Zoldyck family name is important you still betray us FOR HIM!" Her hair bounced as she stormed over to Killua.

Lighting struck in a nearby tree outside just as she struck the side of her son's face. Killua snarled at her angrily, "You old hag! Just leave us alone! Kalluto is dead!"

"Shut up!" The woman yelled striking him again.

Killua normally would hit her back but this time he just summoned some lightning in the palm of his hand.

At the sight of Killua's own zapping bouncing off the walls the lady recoiled in shock. Her lips going up in a delirious sneer as she cried out, "Go ahead! Strike me, Killua! You'll be responsible for my death too! Hah...but you won't care will you?" The crazed lady let out a laugh, "Haha! Just keep killing people, Killua. Keep knocking down whatever inconveniences you in life! You're su-"

"I won't hit you! Not anymore. I'm not a monster you created anymore." Killua grinded his teeth defiantly. "I'M MYSELF! I'M NOT LIKE ANY OTHER ZOLDYCK!"

"You crazy piece of crap! You will remember your training!" Came a yell before Gon felt himself leaving Killua's grasp.

The oldest Zoldyck clearly enraged by Killua's words. Illumi started to wrestle with Killua the two boys started to get into it as they rolled around on the living room floor of the large manor. Killua snapping, "No! You cannot make me! I'll never fight again!"

The wild woman had her hands in the air hooping and hollering about the process being, ' _incomplete'_ and that Killua being an assassin at this point was futile.

All of this madness was halted by a powerful voice booming, "Enough!"

Steadily the owner of the voice entered the room, the short man's long beard almost seemed to drag the floor as he hunched over. Shaking his head in disapproval of such madness unraveling around him. He scolded, "Silva. You know good and well I might be joining my wife in the ground in a matter of months and you still run your house like this?" His bushy old gray eyebrows mashed together as he spat out, "Disgusting."

Killua's father lowered his head down in shame. "I'm sorry." The man's long white hair spun as he rested his wife against the wall. He addressed them, "I let this go on for too long. All of it. I should have stopped these shenanigans when we knew ahead of time." His dangerous blue eyes drifted over at Killua who was stuck in a headlock, "I just assumed that because you were my son even if I gave you freedom you'd grow up and be like me...and for some time that was true."

Killua didn't have to be reminded of what a failure he was and what a big mistake making him head of the family was. He knew all these things.

"Grandpa-" Killua started to jabber in disbelief of his parents wanting Gon to be target practise.

The older man declaring, "Silence, Killua. Let us explain."

"Explain?" Killua sweeped, "What the hell is there to explain?" The boy was growing frantic now. He couldn't stop the bile from threatening to spill out his throat as he spoke, "You all wanted me to kill Gon? To kill my own child?"

Silva let out a huff, a low one but discourging none the less. "We set everything up in order for you to do just _that._ When I took your phone back when you were on punishment for NOT finishing the mission at the Hunter's branch. I went through it and discovered you were being held back by the very person you called a friend." The grown man frowned deeply at Gon as the wind howled loudly outside. Words tumbling off his lips sourly, "Friends don't hold each other back."

"You set me up…?"

"We _allowed_ you to escape and find Gon. We were _watching_ and in control of you every step of the way. The reason Gon's Aunt fainted, we filled the air with a halogen she was extremely allergic to. Even at the grocery store, that person who harassed Gon over getting chips wasn't even a real employee. It was someone we paid off to make, Gon feel _unworthy_ to stand by your side. The Hunters who came after you at the bank, we paid them. In fact we passed money to ALL the Hunters who came after you. The random person who slipped alcohol in your drink, we paid them too. Think about it, do you really think you could have escaped Illumi so easily?"

"What is wrong with you people!?" Killua couldn't stop his knees from quaking. It wasn't like he was never exposed to the true will and power of his parents but he was trembling because he was understanding what all this meant.

This meant the whole time: _He was right. EVERYTHING HAD BEEN HIS FAULT._

His father gave a rare gesture, to the lightning crackling and booming through the window. "All for you to finally snap and lose your mind." The blue that flashed in the room died down quickly as Silva concluded, "Unfortunately, none of our best efforts could break you. You broke because of Gon, itch...Knowing that is annoying. Not to mention the leader of the Spider got a hold of our plan. So he tried to take you under his wing and protect you."

Oddly it hit Killua like a slap to the face, "Chrollo was helping me?" He whispered to himself absolutely unable to comprehend, "Chrollo was helping us, the whole time… he's a good person?"

"You see, Killua." His grandfather picked up, "The whole time we were trying to make you _better._ However you just kept on rejecting our help. So we called in a friend of yours, Kurapika." The old man's grip seemed to tighten around Gon's wrist. "He told us some interesting things. So might as well come clean about being a defender of justice. Since assassins don't defend, they kill and body witness without question."

Once again chills crawled up Gon's spine as the house shook from a powerful blast. The big family picture on the fireplace wall fell, instanously shattering to bits. The glass frame had shattered beyond repair as well as any bonds left in the family.

 _It was over wasn't it?_

 _Sweet death had raised its toll to 2. And losing one was too much grief already._

"Heh," Killua sighed softly putting his hands up in the air as if a confession to his sins. "That's right. I only kill people who have done a crime and are yet to be brought to justice. Saying I hated the Hunter's Association was easier for me to get assigned targets since most of those bastards." His pissed off eyes stole a look at Illumi, "Are just like _him!_ They don't kill people during the Hunter's exam! But after they get their power, they use it to abuse it!" His lips curled up into a snarl, "I don't kill meaninglessly! I do care! Deep down, I have a loving heart! I have a soul! I won't say all Hunters are bad because that would be a lie! Which is w-"

Silva shoved Killua down to the ground huffing, "Why you're the most useless Zoldyck ever to be created!"

Weakly Killua smiled, as tears rolled down his face, "I'm pissed too. I'm so pissseeeedd." A few sparks of lighting started to kick up around his body as he released he now had the courage to do something he never thought he'd ever have to do. Raising his hand up he locked it around his father's throat, hissing, "I'm pissed off that I almost believed and bought that crap about me _killing_ Alluka and Kalluto." Maliciously a dark smirk appeared on his tormented expression, " _You paid off_ the Hunter's Association to try and kill Gon. Which means, _you_ killed Alluka and Kalluto!"

A rough puch delivered to Killua's eye almost knocked the thing out of its socket. The overwhelming pain was nothing to him, though- w _hat was pain but some temporary displeasure?_ Hostile with each jerking movement Killua started kicking his heels squeezing his hands closer together, despite how when his father cracked his neck he felt more than one thing pop. Killua wasn't gonna let go.. _he was never gonna let go with his own two hands._

 _One hand for Alluka._

 _The second for Kalluto._

 _Killua was going to make things even._

"You don't wanna do this, son." Silva warned his child. "You don't wanna fight me." Gruffly his nen spiked up ready to do some damage. Teasingly he mocked, "I thought you said you would never fight again."

"You're right.." Killua gradually released his hand grip around his father's neck. "I am gonna be better than you. I'm better father and a better person!" He squirmed a bit huffing, "I used to live my life fearing everyday I would lose my mind. Chrollo was right about you, raising a monster. ONLY I'M NOT YOUR MONSTER. I'm Gon's. Hehe!" Killua laughed through the pain and insults burning in his mind.

"You will fight for you life!" Silva insisted smearing his son's own blood on the floor.

"No! I won't!" Killua threw his hands up in an act of nonviolence, "Beat me to a bloody pulp! See if I care! From now on, I won't resist with violence! Long as I don't ever become a truly insane psychopathic assassin…." A cruel spark of revenge flashed in blue eyes, "Then, YOU'LL NEVER WIN!"

That was the last thing Killua said before the living crap got knocked outta him.

Gon flinched with every rough punch that was delivered to Killua's limp bruised body. He didn't know what was worse, seeing Killua get beat to a bloody pulp or being too terrified to step in and stop it. The whole time all Gon could do was watch Killua get tossed around like a rag doll and when the fight was over, all he could do was follow the butlers to the place where him and Killua would spend the night.

"Have fun in solitary confinement." Was the last words Gon heard as he was pushed into what appeared to be like a small prison cell. Killua's limp body was thrown in right after him, the boy's skull hitting the hard cobblestone with a thud.

The heavy door closed quickly with a heart stopping bang- blocking any artificial light from entering. Nothing but the sound of locks followed then the sound of feet walking away, as the rain picked up outside.

Wrinkling his nose up, Gon took in the musty weird smell of the cell as he rose to his feet. In the darkness he started to trace his hand along the walls. The walls oozed a vibe of strength seemingly impenetrable. It would take a bomb to at least _scratch_ it. And a scratch would be all it would do.

Dragging his feet against the floor, it only took Gon five steps to get from the front to a small little cot, the toilet and a sink. That took up most of the cell. The walls were insanely high. Gon had jumped a few times, each launch was to find a light switch on the wall.

Yet after about 10 jumps and searching the small area up and down, Gon can to the conclusion _there_ was none. There was nothing but darkness. A never ending wash of torment and sad grief that was embedded in the dark as well.

It was just _him,_ the _toilet,_ the _sink_ , the _cot_ , and _Killua_.

The space they had wasn't that big and Killua was taking up most of their walking space by just laying there on the floor in pain. So Gon scooped him up and dragged him over to the cot. The hard cot had no sheets or pillows, it was barely off the ground. However it served as a good resting place, despite how the both of them would barely be able to sleep together on it.

Killua groaned lowly in agony. Even with the boy out cold occasionally he would make sounds that tethered his imagination. Since when sanity goes reality has no reason and the vast and empty abyss they were sent into could be clocked down to an infinite barrier defying life and death.

"Hush, Killua. You need to rest." Gon silenced him, pulling out his phone from his pregnancy emergency bag. The cellphone's screen lit up the small space, it allowed Gon to get a look at how gruesome Killua's wounds really were. He cringed up a bit regrettably, feeling like he was particularly able to be held accountable for his lover to be beaten to such a bloody state.

Words flashed up on his phone's screen mockingly, ' _ **NO SERVICE**_ ' in huge black letters with an X over the usual bars.

His eyes peering at the walls with no window in sight or anything Gon knew getting a signal in his phone was useless. _No more connection to the outside world. No way for them to call for help._

There was nothing for him to do but wait.

" _Wait for what? Your death to come?"_ A voice whispered only this time a face appearance to match it.

A wild bright smiling face that seemingly mimicked Gon from before almost back when he was a kid.

The pregnant boy grimaced slightly as he started to deny, "I won't."

" _What if you run out of oxygen? This pit can't be much bigger than a elevator."_

"Killua would give me mouth to mouth."

" _What he dies from blood loss?_ "

"Killua was the best assassin, he wouldn't die from something petty like that."

" _What if they leave you both here to rot? You'll die here. Your Aunt will never find your body and your friends won't know what happened to you. Then as easily as that you'll be forgotten. You'll be ignored and lost, with barely anyone grieving for you! Just like Alluka… no one will ever care for you."_

"I CARED ABOUT ALLUKA DAMN IT!" Gon uncontrollably started screaming. "Even if no one shed a tear for her! I did! Killua did!" He rose up from the cot and launched himself at his own hallucination. The smile that once mimicked him faded to black soon as he touched it. Dissolving into the darkness it was born from, it cradled him like a baby.

The dark nursing Gon and his sick mind as the voices seemed to thrive in their natural environment.

" _You accepted us. Because you NEED us, Gon. We're a part of you_."

This time, his black hair bounced as he inhaled deep and easy breathes. He had to keep his mind together. Gon wiped his eyes as he slunk into the cot right beside Killua. The taller boy had his head tucked down, those pretty cold blizzard orbs of his were snapped shut.

A nagging part of Gon wanted to unload his grief upon Killua. But it was hard to talk about it, he couldn't put the burden in him to form words. He would sound like a weak cry baby and worse of all his babies growing inside him wasn't making things any easier. Gon felt them getting rather relaxed and comfortable in his stomach. They were stretching all out and putting pressure on his...

"Why does this happen to me?" Gon muttered under his breath. He stumbled over to the toilet, trying to not bump into a wall with his rounded stomach.

Unzipping his fly over the toilet, he let loose a sigh of relief as he peed. Gon couldn't tell you, how good taking a _good_ piss felt. It was easy. Peeing came so easy and natural…and helped not be upset about: his Aunt Mito in the hospital, Ging leaving him without even a drop of remorse or how he turned Killua into a monster.

Which is why when Gon zipped up his fly and went to wash his hands, as the water ran on them he found himself smiling lightly. "Guess it's not so bad." Then he paused turning the water off, "Are you all not," His voice became low, "disappointed in me?"

Surprisingly Gon grunted, as he felt a punch to his gut. It was an rough one too, and another was quickly delivered as well but in a different spot. There was a weak little kick, that made his heart flutter ever so slightly.

A snarky voice claimed, " _Don't know how you're gonna take care of 3 kids. You can barely take care of yourself._ "

Brown eyes widened, as he clamped his hands over his ears. He knew it wouldn't stop the voices but at least he could start humming loudly. The humming made the voice slowly burn out and it reinforced his children's healthy ressurance.

He liked to think they were moving to comfort him. In fact maybe they were prancing around to be saying, " _Hey! Don't be so upset, mommy. We're here. We're a piece of daddy inside you! We will stay awake with you for a little while!"_ The little ones just couldn't stay still.

Gon moaned and buried his face into Killua's neck. "S'more." He called out laying a kiss on Killua's neck softly, nosing his way down and then pressing his lips against the bruised skin where Killua had been beaten at.

Feeling such loving kisses pressed on his open wounds Killua hissed, "Wha-?" He titled down to catch pikey black hair clouding his blurry vision. He inhaled- _Gon_. The proceeded to relax at the action. Then he ushered out, "This is my fault. Everything." He felt more of his scars and cuts up his arms receive kisses, "I was too ambitious."

"It's your parents. Their fault."

"Their fault…" Killua repeated weakly as he raised his blood covered hand in the air. The action was done slowly and didn't even extend all the way as dried red stained his nails. "I love killing people. These hands have killed _so many_ people."

Gon's soft lips parted from abused skin, "You told me that killing people, is your profession. NOT A FLAW. NOT A HOBBY. IT'S A JOB." He told him sternly, "You told me that because you said, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO WHAT YOU LOVE." His glossy brown eyes firmly interlocked with ocean blue. "You said you want to be an assassin. This is something _you wan_ t, Killua."

"I know… But after becoming a monster and dancing on the blood of my enemies, what I wanted isn't all it's cracked up to be…"

"That's okay too. You told me you'd love and support me no matter what I choose to be. So what do you want to be now?"

Killua's swollen black eyelids could barely blink as he observed around him. The sound of the rain falling over head made him drowsy and the blood loss wasn't helping either. Weakly he gave a smile, "A stay at home dad."

"Pff.." Gon let out a slight burst of laughter, "Well you're already one of those things." He shifted his body to sit up more. Changing their positions he placed Killua's head on top of his stomach letting him feel the kicking. "You feel that? You told me, they're doing it because they love me and are thankful for me. Even when I don't feel like it." A pearly smile slipped on Gon's face, "They love you too, Killua. They love your hands," He scooped up Killua's large pale hands and laced their finger together. "They love them like how I love em. Because even if your hands were made for killing, they do wonderful things too, like cuddle, spin and give affectionate touches."

"They?" Killua whispered against Gon's bump. "Do you mean…?" Sounding awed and proud, Killua closed his eyes as they started to fill with tears, he didn't think he'd ever felt as happy as he did right now.

"It's only fair. I got Kite back." Gon murmured giving a nod of approval at Killua.

The voices in Gon's head began to spark up in revolt thundering, " _You can't use that excuse! Those were OUR WORDS."_ Gon could catch every pissed tone but he rebuked it.

Because Gon knew Chrollo was right. Chrollo had told Gon he only felt weak and useless because he let himself believe it was so. He listened to things that lied to him. And from now on, Gon refused to go for any of that... _The voices were a part of him. But he didn't need them to be himself._

 _Gon Freecss had existed before the voices._

 _And Gon Freecss would continue to exist with them._

"Alluka.. Kalluto..." Killua sobbed out, placing the palm of his hand over Gon's stomach, rubbing tendly along the stretch marks, small movements rippled under the other's skin. "I promisessss I'll beeee the best dad evvveeerrrr!" He choked on his own tears and mixed words into new ones. "I'll love you and never hurt you or put you in danger again. I'll fight the deeper problems.. To keep the bad people away from you."

 _Words can only boost self esteem so much. It doesn't solve the deeper problems._

Gon's eyes grew wide for a brief second because it was like suddenly he could comprehend. "Deeper? Like internal scars that won't heal?"

"Like family that won't heal because you share the same DNA. And DNA sticks with you forever." Killua quickly clarified. Then he looked up endearingly at Gon, giving their still interlocked hands a squeeze, "But you, Pegy, Alluka and Kalluto. You're my _new_ family now. Those people, might have loved me and believed they were doing me a favor. But all they did was kill me, in the process. Yet you saved me.. _Again._ And..."

"Okay! Killua slow down, don't strain yourself." Gon spoke endearingly, using a free hand to stroke his fingers through white silky hair. "I'm just glad you forgive me…" He sucked on his tongue roughly, "I tried to protect them."

"You _did_ protect them. In your own way!" Killua automatically corrected as if everything he accused earlier was false. The 16 year old broke down hysterically, "You're saving Alluka and Kalluto! Gon, you're saving everyone! Your entire existence is a blessing on this earth." Killua confessed, face pressed to Gon's stomach. Their children resting, happily alive and strong, safely warm, between them.

"I am so happy." Gon gave a bright smile. "I'm so happy to see you no longer upset with me, Killua!"

"Haha! I'm ecstatic!" Killua chirped pleasantly, "You didn't break your promise! I didn't break mine. We get to keep our family together!"

"Yeah… But in here?" Gon muttered a bit dissatisfied at their current situation.

"Heh!" Killua pulled away from Gon, raising his hand he knocked on the brick wall three times. "Ya hear that?" The echo bounced upwards and vibrated through the top.

"Yeah, but…"

"This is a bomb shelter."

"Why the hell do your parents have a bo-"

"This house is old. It's been in the Zoldyck bloodline forever." Killua ran his fingers down the wall. "But this is what I was talking to Machi about in the grocery store. Remember when you were talking to Leorio about nen and crap?" The white haired boy seemed to be beaming with delight.

A quick glance in his blue eyes and Gon immediately understood. "That means… when you were talking about building a bomb shelter. You meant this? So it's… incomplete?"

"If you climb up. It leads to a bunch of tunnels that haven't been used in years. So theoretically it's incomplete, but one has to lead to an exit."

"I didn't feel a ladder around here. How do we get up?"

"That's the problem. We would have to wall jump from wall to wall. All the way to the top assuming the entrance hasn't been sealed off." Killua sighed.

"We try, then." Gon smirked lightly, "Or if needed we jump your parents." He clicked his tongue and gazed upwards, his eyes staring up at the darkness as a shining dash of hope.

* * *

 **Wow this book is ending at the end of this month. I'm proud to finish it. Updates shall be weekly~?!**

 **Back in ch 10, Killua was talking about building a bomb shelter when he was randomly pulling the idea from the air. And thus we finally learn Killua's idea came from the fact a few days ago when he was in solitary confinement he learned it was really a bomb shelter.**

 **So like all wonderful stories everything, Killua once said that sounded out of place and completely weird were clues about this chapter. So feel free to reread chapter 2 and 3 because they have the most information about Killua being an assassin and him getting sent to solitary confinement.**

 **Thanks for reading! Have a super awesome day, sunshine drops!~Mel**


	34. D on't s ha ke the em b ryo Gon! (34)

Tracing his tan hands along the rough walls, Gon tried to memorize every bump and slick consistency. He figured he'd been doing such actions for awhile, he just wasn't sure how long. His brown eyes had gave in to accept the flood of bleak darkness stretching for as they could see, and overwhelming voices kept chiming in with the clear conclusion: " _If you don't put into action your plan soon. You're just prey for the reaper."_

Their plan to go upwards was much harder than it sounded, for one Killua's body was in a bad condition and Gon quickly discovered that these walls would be torture to climb. If they fell in the process, their bodies would meet nothing but cobblestone which would probably, depending on the height kill them instantaneously.

"Damn." Gon cursed, a burning feeling stinging his chest as his stomach growled loudly. Frustration filled his belly, as he slumped down to the ground hanging his head back to rest against the walls holding him hostage.

"Don't think about it." Killua suggested, "I was locked in here for two weeks before. No food, no water, and I came out just fine." The 16 year old was doing his best to share some encouraging advice. To let Gon know that they _could_ survive this.

Sitting up put a little strain on Killua's body, it made some of his tied up wounds reopen as he shifted around on the cot. He couldn't see Gon very well in the darkness, but he could sense his lover's distress. Mostly, he sensed _Gon's nen._ The nen was the source of their children's life force. And recently, despite Killua not having the heart to make Gon aware of it… things had triggered a unsteady fluctuation of nen around his stomach.

Killua was still puzzled to what Gon's strange new nen pattern meant. Heck, he was still unsure how long they had been in here. Without any knowledge of time or light source, all they had was rain occurring on and off and sometimes the rubbing of movement. _It had to be a few days already, right? Had to be at least five days maybe six?_

"They're weakening." Gon placed his hand on his bump. "They don't move around much like they did before."

"It's fine. They're just sleeping, Gon." Killua insisted not ready to spill the beans to lover. The smaller boy _had_ to have hope. Without hope for a brighter tomorrow, somber days like now didn't seem worth living.

Screaming silently, Gon crumpled his hand into his shirt. "Last time I was this hungry...I went crazy." The black haired boy cringed recalling his old memory. His body jolted a bit unruly as the darkness rocked his torn up soul. "I turned you into a monster." A few crackles of nen snapped from Gon's flesh.

The nen took form for a brief second, almost mimicking a reflection from an old horror Killua saw from when Gon got pissed off back in NGL. Yet soon as it manifested, it quickly died down to rubbish until it faded back to the troubled soul it was birthed from.

Blue eyes widened as pink lips opened, "You're fine." That was true. Gon's nen had probably just sent his body into survival mode. It could be why all the burst of nen were coming randomly, besides aura was created from focusing the mind. Gon's mind was subconsciously doing it because he never forgot-but in return it also took a toll on his body: _working harder._ Killua's eyebrows wiggled as he hinted, "You did say magic was nen. You said that before, and in a way you're right. You can do it, if you believe you can do it."

That didn't throw a fire on Gon's blazing troubles as he started to worry more. The voices taunting, " _But you don't believe do you? You don't! You can't. If you could use your nen wisely. You wouldn't be in this mess. Trapped in here."_ The strong heavy door resting before him locked them in this tomb.

"Killua… promise me, one of us will get out of here."

"We're gonna stay together, Gon. We're both gonna get outta here."

"And our kids?"

Killua sighed, the heat down here was getting to him. It was for some strange reason outrageously hot down here, when it was supposed to be cooler underground. The only conclusion Killua could draw for reason had to be from them being under the torture room and the machinery was making it so deathly hot.

But another part of Killua knew the truth: _his parents were gonna dehydrate them_ _to kill 'em off._

The human body could only go so long without water.

Gon seemed to grow anxious in the silence so he pestered again, "OUR KIDS, Killua!"

"Yes." Killua grunted out in response. He kicked off, rising to his feet. Steadily he started to stroll around the cell. He had started doing this often to get his legs used to walking again. The pain didn't even hurt but he figure something had to be broken since he started to walk a little lopsided.

A brief loud shaking was heard as locks began to snap open simultaneously. Without shock the heavy door swung open, to the booming words. "Get your asses up a doctor is here to see Gon."

"Mmm?" Gon let out a surprised grunt. Narrowing his eyes as they took their sweet time adjusting to the light, as it fell almost romantically over Killua and Gon's dirty faces.

"Milluki." Killua dusted off his clothes. Lightly a cocky smirk formed on his lips, "Are you saying what I think you mean?"

"Pff…." the overweight boy scoffed, "Course not bratt." His grip tightened on the heavy whip in his hand. "Daddy still hates you. Grandpa couldn't be more ashamed. The only one saving your ass is mommy because she's gone hysterical."

"Hysterical?" Killua repeated unable to make sense on how his mom wasn't already mad enough out of her mind.

Milluki gave a quick nod, "You'll see soon. She keeps talking to herself like she's talking to Kalluto beside her. She's gone off the deep end." The older boy started walking through the torture chamber. He kept explaining as Killua and Gon followed behind him. "It all started after Kalluto's funeral really. When we put him in the ground, she just couldn't handle it. Mommy started forgetting things and imaging a bunch of weird scenarios. So for her safety Dad started calling up therapist and they said she couldn't be fixed from all the guilt weighing down on her heart."

Killua raised a suspect eyebrow as they began heading up the staircase to reach the ground floor. "You had Kalluto's funeral already?" He sounded almost hurt that he wasn't allowed to attended. "What about Alluka?"

"That thing didn't get a ceremony. We burned ITS body first chance we got."

"HEY! ALLUKA IS FAMILY! DON'T SAY THAT!"

"It was a mistake that has since then been corrected." Milluki snarled viciously, he raised the whip in the air threatening to strike Killua with it. "And next time you raise your voice at me, I have permission to beat you till death if necessary."

"Why you bi-"

"Killua!" Gon pulled the taller boy back to prevent another fight. Almost as if to remind the teen he was in no condition to throw hands with anyone. Not even a menace like his older brother who needed a few good beatings himself. He held Killua back whispering, "It's fine. We know that Alluka is family. She's _our_ family so fuck everyone else."

Not a hint of rage was wiped from Killua's face, instead he clutched the rods on the stairwell harder. The teen gave Gon a little nod then turned to Milluki. Sternly informing him, "You know our mom doesn't deserve to be sad. All this guilt is the product of something she _wanted_ to create herself. I'm glad she's suffering."

Milluki let out a light chuckle, almost finding his little brother hatred comical. "Ya see, lil brother. Those who have power don't feel the same way. So for sure." He walked on the ground floor, "Mom will get some closure."

Heading down the long hallway on the main floor, Gon found himself being reminded of the terror that took place on a few floors above them. He wondered if some kind of family fallout would happen again and if this time it would be due to his existence in Killua's life. Each step he took on the hardwood filled him even more with dread in a sense that he knew their destination was drawing nearer.

In fact it was a lot closer than Gon thought as Milluki pushed open a door on the left end, allowing Killua to walk in first. The pregnant teen wobbled in nervously only to be greeted by a surprisingly friendly face.

"Leorio?" Gon blurted, petrified that he might be letting his schizophrenia get the best of him.

The older man grinned proudly, "How's it going, Gon?" He had his hands in his pockets as he slowly turned around. Those tiny glasses of his caught a shimmering light of hope from the sun leaking in through the window seal.

An eager overly excited smile broke out on Gon's face, "How?"

"Turns out you not helping me cheat right was a pretty good thing after all. I might have failed that test, but in order to make up for it my professor made me do some on job training."

"You're joking! Stop being unsmart!"

"How else would I be here?"

Gon let out an excited squeal ready to pounce on the medical student. He shot an gleeful glance up at Killua. The pregnant boy rubbing his thighs together in a joyful manner only to catch on that his lover didn't look so happy.

Through the shock, Gon had completely missed the fact Killua's parents were in the room. Killua's father still looking down upon his son as if he was scum for every daring to speak up against and challenge him. Then Killua's mother was dabbing a tissue on her face to wipe away some tears. Something told Gon that she wasn't crying over the sight of seeing her son so wrecked.

The true medical professional in the room seemed to figure they had to say something to end this sudden tension in the air. So sweetly the short old woman strolled up to Gon, offering her hand out she introduced herself. "Hello. I've been a proud obstetrician in the Zoldyck family for years. I delivered every single one of them alone by my own hands." She motioned to Leorio, "It's good to see you two already know each other. That can make this whole visit a lot less awkward."

Taking her hand Gon responded, "Yeah! Leorio used to go on adventures with Killua and I before he went to college." He sounded buzzed full of optimism, "My name is Gon Freecss by the way."

A flashed smile was reward to Killua, "It's good to see master Killua has lots of friends." The old woman chuckled softly. "Out of all the them, he had me genuine worried."

Killua didn't seem to feel the same way as he blushed a bit. He put up a tough guy act for his parents, "Assassins don't need friends. Gon is my family and so is Leorio." His voice seemed more bent on point proving more than ever, "So I would do anything for them. Point blank."

"Disgusting." His mother let out a shallow sob. "I've raised a failure." She turned to the side as if lecturing someone _who should_ be there, "My little Kalluto, be good. Don't turn out like _that boy._ "

Leorio emitted a low growl but didn't do anything more than that. He seemed to have caught himself recalling on how this was something he was getting a grade on and seeing Gon and Killua was just an extra perk.

The obstetrician let go of Gon's hand and went to comfort Killua's mother. The older lady began explaining to her, "It might be uncommon for a boy to conceive. But an enhancer like Gon can easily carry new life. Just look at him, he's strong, healthy, in a few weeks he'll give birth with ease."

" _If your kids live long enough to reach those few weeks."_ The troublesome voices in Gon's brain reminded him.

"That's why we called you over here." The half robot woman tossed her used tissues in the trash. "We need to know about terminating the pregnancy."

Just like that the whole entire room dropped dead silent for two seconds. Clearly the doctor shifting on her feet uncomfortably, as she looked on Gon's stomach. Searching for words to say she uttered, "Well Gon is pretty far along. Definitely in his second trimester if not third. So your options under the law are limited. It would be reco-"

"But!" The rich man cut in sharply, "We _don't_ pay you to obey the law." Silva narrowed his eyes harshly, "There is no expense we won't spend. We won't have another mistake like Alluka bearing the Zoldyck name. If we let the baby live, we'd have to hide it. And look at how terrible that turned out last time we played that card."

"Of course, sir." The woman took a deep breath, almost feeling a bit bad for the pregnant 16 year old. She could barely meet Gon in the eyes anymore as she informed the family, "I can kill the child. Miscarriages are not rare and can be easily triggered. If w-"

"No!" Killua felt his heart plummeting with every second the reaper slashed away in cruelty. "How is this gonna bring you closer? You can't keep killing people as if it will balance and make stuff even!" He fired out bitterly.

"You SHUT YOUR MOUTH!" His mom bellowed weeping once more. "You don't understand. Only Kalluto gets me."

"Kalluto died because you hurt him so much, he didn't wanna LIVE!" Killua spat out pissed off that everyone was going there again.

Silva scolded his son. "You stand there and be quiet. You need to see this. Learn lessons the hard way since free will is too much for you to handle."

"No! YOU STAND THERE AND BE QUIET!" Leorio declared boldly. He pointed directly at Killua's father, "You probably don't remember but when we came back to get Killua we knew all about how you treat him like crap. You got to raise Killua your way, so Killua should get to raise his kids _his_ way. I'm not shitting like I'm against abortion or anything. I agree Gon and Killua are way too young to have a kid of their own. But who are we to stop them?"

"I'm his father." Silva spoke in a matter of fact tone. "I'm head of this household and what I say goes."

"Well that's why Killua ran away and left this household so you won't kill his kid. YOU FORCED HIM BACK HERE WITH GON. ALL SO YOU CAN HAVE YOUR WAY!" Leorio angrily started pulling stuff out of his doctor's bag, "Well get this. It might be _your_ house but this is my make-up school assignment. And I didn't go to school to take life, I went to save it." He directed Gon to sit in the examination seat. "Now sit Gon, so we can start the checkup for your kid."

* * *

The tension in the air _burned_. The cold air from the little at home ' _doctors office'_ stung skin. Everything around Gon seemed to be moving so fast, the doctor lady was checking his temperature and blood pressure, written down by Leorio.

The man always kept making sly obscure gestures at Killua's parents as if challenging them to dare do something about it. And Killua had a satisfied smirk on his face like he'd won some huge war or something.

The old lady didn't seem mean about it or bothered, from how immature her student helper was. She simply appeared a bit troubled by the whole fact she might have to kill a life. It was especially clear in her words, "Well usually we take a blood test but that doesn't seem like it will be needed. I suppose…" She sighed figuring there was no reasoning with the Zoldyck family knowing how stubborn they were. So she simply instructed, "Gon, please take your shirt off."

"Kay.." Gon spoke softly, he began to unbutton his dress shirt. It didn't feel as weird as he thought it would to take off his shirt in front of so many people.

Killua on the other hand seemed to recall an act of shame. He quickly shuffled over to the sink and wet a paper towel. "Gon." He raised it up almost cautiously reminding him, "The..umm.. Drawing."

"What drawing?" Silva sneered suspect at his offspring.

"Nothing!" Killua blurted out quickly, hustling back over to wipe away his bloody mural off from Gon's bump. The 16 year old was shaking profoundly trying to ensure no one caught a glimpse of his masterpiece.

The pregnant boy frowned a bit sad to see it go. "I liked it."

Killua blew off the offered praise. "It was crappy."

"But I liked it," Gon gave a cheerful smile, "because you made it from your heart." He lowered his voice shyly, "Even tho, I turned you into a monster n shit. You still cared about our family."

Killua felt his face heat up, as his blue eyes met sparkling brown. "Don't be so sappy." He scoffed lightly, trying to ignore the fast-paced beat his heart skipped.

It was weird to bring Gon around his parents. The sunshine boy had no cap on things not to be said in certain situations. For that reason Killua had been on edge, keeping a careful watch on his lover. Walking over to the trash can, he tossed the blood covered napkin away- _now no one would know of his stick figure art._

Leorio kneeled down by Gon side theorizing, "This part is probably gonna feel weird as heck." he referenced to the old lady, "She is gonna feel all over your midsection and chest area." Then he paused murmuring, "Your chest might feel weird. But it's because your milk nods are trying to take form to feed your kid, but you're not a girl. So it's chemical reaction is weird."

The obstetrician followed the procedure of course. Her gloved hands rubbing up and under Gon's chest area, then slowly making their way down Gon's sides. It was like he was getting a physical done. The touch was rough and hurried along with precise accuracy, well that was up until she pressed a hand to the side of the expansion of Gon's stomach.

At the strange feeling of someone other than Killua touching his bump Gon let out a slightly shook, "Oooooooh." It came out almost breathlessly as he took into consideration that this woman's touch was not as gentle or loving as Killua's.

Her touch felt empty, it felt _forced_ , almost _unapologetic._

Aggressively she rubbed over the new span of Gon's stretch marks. Feeling and poking for any form response to her actions. Gon knew she was expecting a kick or punch, but she wasn't gonna get one. His kids were _too weak_ to deliver one.

The obstetrician seemed to take a hint at first. She drew her lower lip between her teeth, as she felt around some more. The conclusion wasn't stunning since she was well aware of the fact her clients wanted death. But her discovery the more she rubbed her gloves against peach skin came as a brief wake up call.

Her forehead furrowed as a line became visible between her brows, "Hmm..." The doctor spoke, "Have you felt movement?"

"Plenty." Gon quipped.

"Kicking?"

"Yeah, but _they_ punch much harder."

At the use of ' _they'_ the woman's eyebrows fluttered, "So you're aware?"

"Hehe.." Gon let out a tormented laugh, "Gosh, I don't know." He panned his eyes over to Killua's parents. "There could be a monster cooking in my oven."

Noticeably that made Killua's mom gasp, as she broke out in rambling nonsense to herself. All Gon could make out was something about, curses, damning Alluka for getting Kalluto getting filthy. Her husband was rubbing her back trying to relax her so she didn't start losing her mind. Silva's expression hardened as he glared at Gon's stomach with pure hatred.

Leorio rose from Gon's side as he said, "Let's take a look at that terrifying monster then." He washed his hands in the sink in the small room. Then he reach in a bag and pulled out some liquid, giving it to the doctor; he went to work setting up stuff on the computer screen.

She gave Gon a once-over before explaining, "This is gonna help use get an ultrasound of your insides."

"What the hell?" Killua screamed. "You can't just do that. It's an invasion of privacy!" He felt violated that someone was about to show his kids to his parents. He didn't want _them_ to see his little ones.

"I'm cool with it, Killua." Gon said relaxingly.

"Yeah but it's gross! Just think ab-"

"You think we're gross?"

"No! I just…" Killua closed his eyes. He couldn't believe this shit was about to go down right in front of everyone. He had always figured that Gon and his children was just a little secret enjoyment they shared together.

"If you feel uncomfortable. You can wait outside." Leorio told Killua. The man understanding all too well of how squeamish Killua was when it came to gross situations. "We're gonna print pictures anyway."

Walking up to stand beside Gon laying out, Killua declared boldly. "I'll stay." His courageous blue eyes told another story reading, ' _Because I love Gon and my family too much to leave them behind."_

"Okay then." The doctor spread the jelly over Gon's firm stomach. The boy beneath her shivering a bit as the ice cold substance touched his flesh. She followed this action by pressing an instrument specifically to his abdomen.

A little fuzzy gray and black image appeared on the computer beside Gon's examination table. From the inside of his belly rested 3 little half formed human bodies, one which appeared to be visibly awake and bored out their mind, another one was sucking their thumb, and the last one the smallest little body was sleeping peacefully.

Leorio looked at Gon's records he'd written down during the test almost in disbelief. His pupils flared almost with rejoice as he caught Gon and Killua smiling at each other so endearingly. The tall man let out a howl, "Oh my gosh!" He threw an arm around Killua's shoulders barking, "This is so awesome! We have to celebrate! We have to tell Kurapika about the new additions!"

"They can hear your voice. You wanna say anything?" Gon giggled happy to have some support.

"I don't know what to say!" Leorio blurted out, "That's the thing, I have no clue. What I want."

"Just say, hi?" Gon suggested. He pointed at the screen, "They're just tired. Killua thought earlier they might be sleeping."

Killua took in the sight of his kids. _They were so beautiful._ They looked like tiny humans who had some weight gaining to do.

Leorio rustled Killua's hair telling the 16 year old, "I can't believe you both knew about the triplets and didn't tell me!"

Killua let out a low grunt. A bit embarrassed to have his parents see how him and his friend's interact. "Yeah. We kinda just found out too." He could feel stone cold judging gazes piercing his self confidence.

His parents were more hardcore business, despite the enlightenment being shared between friends. His father automatically demanded, "So this is the full examination, right? What are we looking at price wise, per kid? About 2,000 yen?"

"Well.." The doctor sighed, "It looks like he's in the middle of his 7th month." She motioned to how the babies almost looked like people. "At the end of this month all that's left is for them to gain weight and lungs to develop."

"So if we rip them out now, they can't breathe." His father said almost plotting and scheming how to wreck this.

She surveyed her options on what to do about this. A simple miscarriage would rid Gon of all his children. Yet even so a hard enough knock in a single direction could kill one of the kids. The obstetrician frowned, "He is extremely under fed. His blood sugar is low and lack of food disrupts focus to the mind thus resulting in his nen faltering. In all honesty, more time could lead to.." Her voice seemed hesitant, "death by natural process."

"No problem then." A smug look ready to deal some major damage rested on Silva's face. "We can call you if we need anything else right?"

"Yes, sir." The old woman confirmed.

"Good." Silva looked to his wife, he rubbed her hand gently. Speaking tenderly to her, "We can get rid of them. Once this awful event is all over, you'll feel better."

The woman didn't respond at all at first. Awe had transformed her face, the longer her gaze rested on the ultrasound. She blanched, then walked forward towards the computer screen. Pale hands delicately brushed over the little picture of the baby sleeping, as the corner of her mouth quirked up. No one in the room was shocked as she wailed, "Kalluto…!"


	35. Do n t sh ak e t he e mbr y o Go n! (35)

Mortification stole Killua's voice away. He stood there pertried for a few seconds, the air filling with dred as the unspeakable seemed evident to fall upon them. At his sides his fist clenched and his heart roared with passion.

 _It was now or never_.

Which meant that based on the expression on his mom's face, now was the best time.

The woman's lips tightly twisted into a firm line. Her eyes blazed with judgement as they appeared to manifest a vibe of delusion. There was a heavy truth of: _How could this be?_ That no answers were provided for her.

Sorrow that scorched a path down her face felt invalided as motivation for previous actions dissolved as mysteriously as they had come. Boldly she kept her hand rested on on monitor, as her sight dirted away to search her son's face for answers.

"Eh…" Killua hesitated before gathering his thoughts, "You're just a little crazy." Desperately he motioned to the other child. "See." He did his best mashup cover. "Ya can't really tell looks." Numbly he fiddled his fingers.

Actually Killua didn't know. He had never taken a biology class in his life but he hoped that he was right. Plus he was baffled of how his mother could tell the difference between them. He just figured it was a mother thing and settled with that.

His mom began to chew her bottom lip as if contemplating the whole thing. It took her awhile to finally speak, "You… you let _him_ out of everyone else bear your children." There was no rage on her face just blank look searching for some understanding. Words changing their intended listener as her focus turned back to Gon. "You're carrying Zoldyck property,"

Gon narrowed his eyes slightly, "It wasn't my choice." There was heavy grief resting in his tone as he urged, "It's not like we planned for this."

Silva placed a hand on his wife's shoulder, "You don't have to debate with them. They can't refuse something, we've decided on."

"Yes, but Kil-" The woman opened her mouth to protest, only to be shut down.

"You want them dead, don't you? If we erase this whole thing now, we can pretend it never happened. Pump in hush money, and no one will ever question it. You said it yourself, Gon's a freak. We promised we never let another disaster harbor our good Zoldyck name."

Sharply Killua cut in, "Mommy, give Gon a chance, give our kids a chance, DO THE RIGHT THING!" His breath hitched almost threatening tears, "And if not for me, but for the future. The future of our family."

At that his mother scoffed, "Do I look like a fool?" Pink lips took in a deep frowning dive, "That boy and a freak couldn't create a perfect human." Eyebrows meshed together as she shamed, "Perfection is nothing short than impossible when _you're involved,_ even after how hard we tried."

Shame engulfed Killua as his shoulders sagged. Doom hung over not just Gon's head but Alluka and Kalluto's as well. Killua wasn't about to lose the two of them a second time, he was sure about that.

"Fine then, I tried the easy way." He muttered a new found vibe filling his soul. Taking a few steps forward he launched his fist back to meet the computer screen. The shattering shook the bodies in the room up just enough as his mother gasped. Killua barked, "Gon now!"

Jolting upwards, hazel eyes flashed richly. The knack of split second decisions making his skin crawl as he dug in the depths of his mind, unleashing the turmoil so steadily brewing in his chest. Waves of darkness engulfed his skin, as it swirled off his finger tips expanding to the far reaches of the room, all his victims trembled falling to their knees before him. A malicious chuckle slipped from his lips as time halted for those unlucky few.

"How bout it?" Gon flicked his wrist around, tugging Killua out of his cease to action.

"Dang, you can unfreeze people too?" Killua spoke in pure amazement. He wiggled all his limbs around still in disbelief. "I was really betting on just you getting away honestly." There was an impressed smile resting on his face, satisfied that Gon was gaining control of his new ability.

Sitting up the pregnant boy reached over and used a paper towel to wipe the gel off his stomach. "Couldn't leave my s'more behind." Gon uttered, for a split second his eyes met Leorio in pity. The doctor caught in a new facial expression of bafflement. Feeling the need to apologize to his friend Gon mumbled, "Sorry, I couldn't warn you. Would have wrecked everything under the circumstances."

With a snap of Gon's fingers, Leorio wiggled back to life in a state of absolute bafflement. The doctor raving, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN DO THIS NOW?!" he pointed frantically at Killua's frozen parents.

"I can do alot of things." Gon chuckled sheepishly. He didn't fully comprehend his nen abilities yet but that was cool. This darkness at his disposal was uncharted territory anyway, so it was best to pull out all the trick while he could.

Leorio didn't seem to calm down as he exclaimed, "That's not what I mean! I mean…" He took a deep breath steadily inspecting Gon before pointing his whole hand at his stomach. "You didn't piss yourself."

"Eh?" Gon checked the floor underneath his feet to ensure it wasn't wet or nothing. He hopped around on one foot fidgeting anxiously. "I ain't done that since I was 6!"

"Not… not like.." Leorio let out a dishevelled grunt, "Your water didn't break?"

"Killua!" Gon immediately whined, "Leorio is using some complicated doctor terminally I don't understand!" He locked his arms around his lover's complaining, "I'm confused and I'm hungry!"

"Well to hell if I get it either!" Killua scoffed, allowing Gon to walk beside him as they headed down the long hallway.

Leorio scrambled to catch up with the 16 year olds. The college student babbling, "Good thing I am here! Gosh, you don't know how much you need me."

"Course we need you, Leorio! You're our friend." Gon hummed out brightly. He flashed a quick smile to the man trailing them.

"No, Gon. Listen closely! Your body is really weak right now! And you just used a bunch of nen, right?"

"Yup."

"So your kids a-"

"Killua's leading us to the kitchen!"

"I get that! But even if you eat Gon, you might not recuperate enough strength. All the stress on your body that you've gone through the past days and the fact you were already 7 months along. Using your nen rushes the a-

"Aging process of the kids. We already discovered that when Chrollo tried to run us over."

"When CHROLLO DID WHAT?"

"Ya know, I froze time because Killua tried to kill-u-ah himself."

The white haired boy gave Gon a slug in the arm, "Don't pun my name. It's freaking trademarked!"

Gon couldn't help but let out a burst of giggles, "Okay... You're just gonna be s'more then."

Leorio's eye twitched slightly as he barked, "What are ya'll talking about?!"

"I know the more I use my nen. The quicker my kids develop. I also know the voices in my head warn me of stuff and in a certain sense my insanity. So if anything happened to them, the voices would tell me."

"You hear voices in your head?!"

"STOP!" Killua screamed loudly, ending the two male's conversation. He hastily motioned to Amane and Canary inside the kitchen. There was delicious smells floating in the air and he had just the plan to get Gon and him inside to eat something. "Leorio, go call Kurapika. Gon and I will go inside and get something to eat."

Leorio raised an eyebrow, "Why can't I tag along?"

"Because they'll be suspect if they see us hanging out with a doctor. They might know something is up."

"But you're supposed to be in solitary confident anyway."

"Gon is gonna cover me for that. He's gonna say my parents let him get one last meal before death row."

A troubled look stormed over Leorio's face, "I don't know what you guys have been through.. But.." He motioned towards Gon once more, "He's ready to pop."

"A month." Gon held up a single digit. "It probably brought me to 8 and a half.."

"9 MONTHS!" Leorio quickly insisted, "GON YOU LOOK LIKE YOU ATE A BEACH BALL OR SOME SHIT!"

"I'M NOT THAT FAT!"

"Okay! Okay! I'm just saying for your own good. You're low on nen and your connection might be weaker than you think."

"Pff.." Gon rolled his eyes, then rested one hand to rub his belly. His belly felt like it got tighter.

" _Running out of room. You'll pop soon. Haha! Just like a balloon! You'll pop, Gon!"_ A voice in his mind snickered.

The pregnant teen ignored the snide remark. "I don't know, Leorio. I'd say our connection is pretty strong." He cracked out a half-assed pun, "They sorta grew in me!"

"HAHA!" Killua grinned a bit he nudged Gon playfully, "Ya see, I get it because.. like.. My spunk." He cradled his arms then nudged Gon again, "IN YOU!"

Leorio looked at the both of them liked they lost their mind. The man uttering, "All this clean air must be getting you after being locked up for so long."

"No." Killua rebuked still cracking up, "Haha! We're laughing because it's so dumb~haha! We really wanna fucking freak out. Heheee.." He tugged on his stand of white hair nervously, "We haven't gotten ready for our kids yet. Heh.. eh.. Yeeeahh." His laughter died down softly.

Clearing his throat Gon rolled his shoulders explaining, "What Killua said. Just know the babies are coming with us one way or another." A warm smile filled his face, "Thanks for your concern, Leorio. We appreciate it and it's good to have you around, just in case."

"Gon." Leorio closed his eyes contiplanting things for a while before finally stepping down. "Alright then." He reached into his pockets, "I'll call up Kurapika."

The smile grew on Gon's face as he cheerfully stated, "Hopefully, they'll give us enough time to get out of here first," as he watched Leorio walking off to make the phone call.

Killua nodded in agreement. The 16 year old mumbling, "Far away from my parents. I want them to be born VERY FAR AWAY." His eyebrows knitted together as he looked at his lover, "Baby boy, tell me if you feel contractions."

"I just feel tired and hungry." Gon complained, eager to get some of the delicious smelling food. "I read that most pregnant women don't feel hungry before giving birth, so I'm fine. We have a good 24 to 48 hours of no worry, I think… I can't recall well."

"That's fine. After we eat, we're out of here. So don't sweat it." Killua confirmed taking a step forward to the kitchen.

* * *

Their plan was half thought out but granted, it was something. After eating food the next hardest part was successfully locating the bomb shelter entrance before Gon's nen time freeze ran out. Neither of them knew the max time that it could last, so it was a hardcore gamble at it's finest.

Fumbling with a few more bricks along the wall Killua cursed lowly. He figured there had to be a lever or some sort of secrete passage. A door maybe? Would a large thick door be possible?

"Gon, come on sweetheart. Keep up, we gotta get to Leorio." Killua urged moving his eyes from the stubborn wall to look at his lover.

"I am! Darn it, you're walkin so fast n shit." Gon complained bitterly, wobbling a bit. He felt so happy and full of food he was easily getting distracted with everything happening. His brown orbs kept catching the sight of priceless artifacts and his curiosity constantly got the best of him.

Killua frowned slightly, "I'm not trying to, ya know? We're just pressed for time and all. Plus my house isn't for sightseeing." He crossed his arms disgusted at the whole facade of this lavish looking place. Everywhere he turned horrid memories seemed to taunt him: all the time he spent trying to please other people, make himself worthy, trying to be a filthy lowdown psychotic animalistic monster like his parents wanted him to be. A flood of regret made him flinch up as he stomped his feet angrily, "This is HELL for me, Gon." He cringed up shouting, "I hate being here! I HATE IT!"

Meekly a whimper fell out Gon's mouth and immediately it made Killua feel guilty.

"I didn't mean it. Like that.." Killua started to walk back his harsh words, "I understand, you might be struggling with the baby weight." He paused beside the pregnant teen.

Gon opened up his arms and pulled Killua into a hug. "It wouldn't be so bad. If you didn't sound so sadistic with it."

At that Killua pulled himself away quickly, "You think.. I'm sadistic?' His voice almost sounded a bit hurt, "I'm crazy. Yes… but.. But I take responsibility for everything! What else do you want from me?"

"WELL YOU SAY YOU WANNA BE A GOOD PARENT!" Gon pointed out bitterly, "But then you yell and get aggressive alot." He grit his teeth in a pissed off fashion. "It happens when I bring up being pregnant. It just happens."

"I'm trying my best! Jesus fuck! You met my parents, you see how I grew up!"

"To be a psychopath! Yeah! I get it. But my my dad left me and my mom is dead! Excuse me, for wanting us to be better!"

"Be better?" The 16 year old almost choked on his own words, "You don't think we're already better?" White locks bounced as he shook his head a bit in disbelief, "I mean.. What parent rubs their swollen pregnant belly and happily proclaims, ' _my kid is gonna be a psychopath_ ' with joy in their eyes?" Killua cracked up, but his laughter was more painful than happy. The tears swelled up in his eyes as he pointed to himself, "Oh yeah! My parents. MY FUCKING PARENTS!" His whole body shook as he laughed even louder, he closed his eyes unable to keep them open and look at Gon directly.

"Killua…" Gon muttered softly, his tone was low and almost heart shattering. "I.. wait.. Don't start crying." He reached out to touch Killua only to be bitterly pushed away. So quickly he ushered out, "You really are, okay."

 _'Solitary confinement.._ ' Killua's mind stubbornly reminded him against his will, ' _where the chains and whips where our only companion_.' He shook his head vigorously trying to stop the memories, ' _When beatings would excite because it was the only human interaction you'd receive all week_.'

"DAMN IT!" Killua cussed, he slammed his fist into the wall. There was absolutely no way he could take Gon back to solitary confinement, not now… they couldn't get caught. They had to get the hell out of here. This house only gave birth to murders and assassins.. _.nothing_ beautiful could come from here. His KIDS COULD NOT BE BORN HERE! The taller male growling, "I'll always be a psychopath. Even if I'm a stay at home dad. I can't erase all the deaths I caused."

Gon sniffled a bit, as he used his own hands to wipe away Killua's tears, "I never should have said that to you."

Killua's smile fell slightly, curving downwards. "You're not gonna be honest with me, Gon?" His glittering blue eyes narrowed at him, "I'd rather hear the truth from you over and over again. Even if it hurts."

"Then the truth is, I love you. All that matters is, I love you." Gon swallowed down tears. He gave a shaky kiss on his lover's left cheek.

Killua took in a gulp full of air. It was too late to prevent all his emotions from being let out. He was heated right now, yet sour at the same time with pain.

The white haired male whispering in the slim space between them, "Our kids will probably be crazy too… that's why we get along well isn't it?"

"No." Gon whispered back. He put his head on Killua's shoulder, "Crazy is the new normal."

"Why….?" Killua spoke out softly. He wiped his tears on Gon's back, giving awkward hug.

Gon was barely able to finish, croaking hoarsely, "Because we're crazy but we're still living. Despite ya know recent life and death events."

Killua gave his boyfriend a tender gaze. Taking his hands he put them over Gon's. The teen speaking subconsciously as he admitted, "I only fought the Hunters because of what they did to people…. What _he_ did to you. But now I fight for all that and in fear of what they might do to our children."

Strong silence swept over them. Hazel eyes met with ocean blue only to confirm that the sentence was true.

"Killua? Gon?" Leorio called out turning the corner to see the two boys. He looked at them, "I don't know if ya'll are having a moment or…" Raising up his phone he smirked cheekily like a dad busting their kids for doing drugs, "Say hi to Kurapika on facetime."

"SHIT!" Killua shrieked at the top of his lungs, struggling to cover up his tearful face. He hid his face in his hands babbling, "Don't fucking watch me! I'm not crying! I don't cry anymore. Big boys don't cry."

"Mmm. Yeah, SURE YOU DON'T." Kurapika spoke out. He rolled his eyes, "I am I supposed to ignore that fact you had a breakdown over your siblings death?"

"I HAD DUST IN MY EYE! I HAD UN-TRANSFORMED FROM BEING A MENACE CUT ME SLACK!"

"Gon, told me you cry all the time."

"WHAT?!" Killua snarled turning enraged at Gon in a heartbeat.

Innocently Gon threw up his hands, "No, I didn't."

"I'm joking." Kurapika spoke dully, his voice cracking over the phone. "I just wanted to see what you would do. But now I know it's true."

Leorio burst out laughing, "Killua! It's no big deal. Ya know, we're all family here!"

The 16 year old blushed a bit shyly, "Yeah.. I know.. Well. Sorta, I know." Killua seemed to trip over his words as he smacked his lips together, "I still don't understand why you flipped on us, Kurapika."

For the first time Kurapika sounded offended, "Flipped?" The blonde narrowed his eyes, "I did so such thing. I joined your family, so I could help you escape when the time came." He shook his finger, "Like now. You want to know the exit through the secret tunnels, right?"

"Yeah, the bomb shelter."

"The entrance is in the nursery. You just gotta pull the lampshade on the nightstand."

"Near the back of the house…" Killua muttered to himself under his breath. It sorta made no sense why the heck it would be hidden back there, but he'd go with it. Shoving his hands in his pockets he muttered, "Alright."

Leorio grinned, "Kurapika, you're so fucking smart. I love ya!" He blew a kiss into his phone camera.

"Cut the crap, you bought me heart shaped napkins!" Kurapika hissed, then he calmed down a bit. "I'm staying on the call. No telling what trouble the 3 of you might get into."

The nursery really hadn't been opened in a while. The door flew open to reveal dust mounting on cribs and nightstands. There was also conveniently plenty of untouched baby supplies in the little closet. It was like a treasure cove on untapped needs that happened to be right under their noses.

Leorio was the first one to suggest, "I don't recommend stealing. But since this is really your family anyway... It's like not stealing."

Killua didn't like the idea of being related to these abusers. So he quickly denied, "Hell no. This will be theft." He darted his eyes around taking note of the place, full of pillows, toys, and bears. It almost made Killua sad that he couldn't put together a good memory here. Maybe it was because Illumi taught him the art of strangling at 3 years old so he always viciously attacked and ripped up his teddy bears after that.

On the other hand, Gon appeared to be elated. His brown eyes lit up excitedly, "Teddy bears!" Gon couldn't stop himself from gasping as he launched himself at a giant life sized teddy bear sitting around. His obsidian hair flew back as he leaped through the air landing in the softness of the large bear. He began to rub his face in it's chest mumbling, "Killuaaaahh, I can't believe you actually had this! Growing up, I wanted an elaborate bear like this!"

"Hmm…" Killua smiled delighted at the sight of Gon having the best time of his life playing with the bear. "Yeah, growing up rich we got what we wanted, long as we obeyed and stuff." Killua reached up on the top shelf of the closet pulling down a bunch of plush blankets, he squeezed them. "Alluka really liked soft things tho, especially plushies. Kalluto just was a blanky cuddler."

"Haha! Kalluto had a blanky?"

"I swear to God! And Alluka had a fluffy rabbit she was obsessed with."

"What about..we take them?" Gon blushed as he pulled more bears near him. He cuddled with them affectionately. "I wanna give it them. When they're born...it might be nostalgic."

"Of course!" Killua felt his face going red as he tucker down to grab some more soft things. "I think, they're around here." He motioned to the other closet. "Check in there."

Leorio opened the sliding double doors to reveal a mount of old stuffed animals and little dance n play toys. The man started coughing a bit as he waved away all the dust. "You guys better use disinfectant and some bleach." He hacked out, "Some of this stuff looks gross."

Kurapika muttered, "NOT SOME, ALL."

"Hasn't be used in a while." Killua said, closing the other closet. He went to help Gon rise to his feet.

The pregnant boy still had his heart glued to the stuffed animals. He whined lightly, as Killua pulled him away from his fort of wonderful softness. "Let's bring the big one too!" He urged sweetly.

"If it doesn't fit pregnancy emergency bag, we cannot take it." Killua told Gon gently. Carefully he pushed the bear away from him, "Besides, I can buy you one when we get out of here, okay?"

Gon changed to hug around Killua teasing, "So I can just use you for now?" He looked up at the taller boy endearingly, his eyes sparking like stars as he spoke, "You're warmer than the bear anyway~and." He squeezed Killua a bit, "More fun!"

"Baby boy," Killua groaned with embarrassment. He didn't even push Gon away from him, because no one could say no to a face like that. Instead checked to ensure Leorio wasn't looking before he pressed a slightly peck on the corner of Gon's lips, "Later. We need to hurry now, remember?" He instructed him.

Cheerfully the pregnant teen agreed, "K." He withdrew his warm ' _bear-hug'_ and took off his bag. Flipping it open, Gon held it wide as Killua placed in blankets and a normal sized teddy bear.

It took some time before Leorio shouted, "Found them!" He hesitated pulling the objects out the closet and waving them in the air. "These it, Killua?"

"Ah!" Killua grinned a bit at the familiar sight of the pink lop eared bunny plushie. He nodded in approval, "That's Alluka's for sure."

"What about the blanky?"

"It looks purple to me. So that has to be the one, it's a little faded tho."

Leorio carried them both back over. "Happens over time." He spoke softly almost as if reflecting on how delicate these memories might actually be to Killua. The man gently handed the comfort items over to Killua to place in the backpack. "Here."

Killua took a deep breath looking at the things. "Alright… for Alluka and Kalluto." He confirmed barely above a whisper as he placed the bunny and the blanky inside. For a few seconds he paused, figuring how stupid this all might seem to everyone. Why was he about to do this anyway? Would Alluka and Kalluto even remember this shit? What would they be like?

Gon placed a hand on top of Killua's reassuring him. He didn't have to say, ' _This is was my idea. It's fine, if you can't go through with it.'_ Instead he rubbed pale skin mumbling, "We can put it up in my room. Beside the crib we can buy, when ya get the huge Teddy bear."

"Y-yeah." Killua stuttered out, nodding his head.

Kurapika whistled, "No need to bring up worry but, ya might wanna get started on your escape." The blonde must have been watching something on a computer monitor because he informed them. "Killua, your parents can move again and are not very happy."

Leorio hustled over to tug on the lamp on the nightstand. "Come on, time is money!" With a simple pull the whole wall started shaking, a grinding sound of gears turning was heard as the floor rumbled like an engine coming to life.

The wall detached from its placement, dropping a few bugs along the way it's decent to match the floor; stairs sprouted out from below in a flower petals pattern spiraling into the darkness below.

At the sight Kurapika muttered, "Best use the phone for light."

"Or…" Killua punched a nearby outlet. The electricity bouncing up his arm as he absorbed the power. Using his nen, the teen bragged, "To conserve battery we use me, The human sparkler."

"I don't care what you use. Just get out alive."

"We're on our way." Leorio confirmed as they started down their path to freedom.


	36. Don’t shake the embryo Gon! (36)

Somehow along the way Killua ended up getting stuck carrying the pregnancy emergency bag _and_ Gon. He wasn't sure at what part did Gon suddenly go all, ' _fuck it_ ' and demand Killua carry him. But Killua really hoped it was an hour ago at least because his arms were getting tired and the soft pretty words Gon spoke out in his sleep kept making the taller boy's heart explode in euphoria.

Kurapika constantly was reminding them that the exit wasn't that far. The Zoldyck estate didn't take hours to go through. So at some point he assured them, "You're off the property." The only problem was there was NO EXIT at that point.

"All the way down or nothing." Leorio groaned out. Even he was getting tired of the layers of darkness and cement walls for miles and miles. It was dumb hot, and it seemed with every step they took it was only leading them deeper into the dark abyss.

Killua found the silence of the dark more comforting than anything. He liked the idea of it just being _them_ in the bomb shelter. It made him feel safe. Despite the disgusting cobwebs on the wall and the strange sounds that can constantly above their head, rushing water way near them.

Glancing down at peaceful mess in his arms, Killua wiped the drool from Gon's lips with his own. Whispering meekly in the air between them, "Sweetheart, do you want to eat something?"

Foggy eyes cracked to see a friendly face; tan hands reached up to comb through white hair. A murmur of, "A-aaaapple sauce?" Came in a fumbled out reply.

"Can you reach it?"

"Yes."

Gon wiped his eyes before reaching over to dig in the backpack and pull out apple sauce. It was in a small plastic container with the words, ' _Motts'_ on the seal. Skillfully the teen used his nails to crack it open enough to get to its contents. He tipped it towards his mouth to slurp out the deliciousness. Then he paused offering, "You want some?" Raising the remaining in the container up to Killua.

Lazily Killua hanged open his mouth in response, allowing Gon to pour the rest of the chunky syrup content inside. The taller boy licked his lips, smacking them together. It wasn't as good as the food they'd eaten back at the kitchen but it was still something sorta filling.

"Leorio, you want something?" Gon called out groggily.

The doctor as a couple steps ahead of them. He seemed to jump at the sudden mention of his name, bouncing off the walls of the shelter. "Hah! Gon… what the fuck?" Leorio tensed up, shoving his hands in his pockets he shivered, like one of the gaint spiders on the walls attacked him. "You almost scared me!"

"He did scare you!" Killua insisted, chuckling at how frazzled up the man had gotten.

"Haha! Hahahaaa!" Gon started smiling and laughing so hard the babies began to squirm and kick with excitement. At the feeling Gon almost tumbled out Killua's muscular arms.

"Don't freaking break my concentration like that!" Leorio huffed mildly ashamed at how shaken up he was. It was only because it was so spooky in here, this place hadn't been used in years and here they were crawling around on what could be people's graves for all they knew.

"Concentration on what?" Kurapika uttered stating the obvious, "THERE IS NOTHING THERE!"

"It just caught me off guard, okay?"

"Aren't you supposed to be the adult around them?"

"Adult!" Leorio grumbled as if he was unprepared to face this type of responsibility. Even granted with his age he had trouble taking care of his own self. He looked at Kurapika like he'd bumped his head as he pointed out, "How can I? I can't even adult right now!"

"But You should!" Gon chimed in, "Ah! Haha! Adult right, now Leorio." His tone became more dreamy as he pondered aloud, "Tell us what are babies like?"

"Hmm…" The man pushed up his tiny glasses as if diving into deep thought, figuring this information was important since Gon was expecting. He tapped his foot explaining, "Well they're loud. They cry a hell of alot."

"No shit, Sherlock!" Killua spat cutting in. "We know that shit we need facts we can _use._ "

Leorio threw up his hand shouting, "Okay! Smart-ass!" He looked at Killua ensuring that the teen knew that comment was directed at him. Then cleared his throat loudly, "Babies are very needy and can't do stuff for themselves. They don't have teeth so they can only eat mashed up food but newborns drink breast milk."

"I don't have bre- _ouch_!" Gon winced, tensing up as he looked at his midsection.

" _No more room in here._ " The voices mumbled, " _T_ _hey're in desperate battle for space._ " Strangely the voices had grown awfully dull without any good insecurities for them to pick at. The best they could do was torment Gon to no end about his kids.

"Are they punching or kicking?" Killua wondered aloud.

"Hah, both. The lil ones," Gon started to rub his midsection attempting to calm his offspring. He babbled, "when I was sleep I felt em moving around, so I thought if I ate they might chill out."

Leorio clicked his tongue in understanding, "They just want some attention then." Like a true medical professional he recited the book, "Mommy and baby bonding time is very important."

"Bonding?" Gon uttered out trying to piece together all the action times they shared. He drummed his hand on his bump, "We did a lot of that. I talk to them too!"

"Oh?" Leorio hummed interest in where this was going.

"We went to Chuck E. Cheese, the Hunter's party, skating, the mall an-"

"Gon! You were pregnant skating?"

"What? I was trained to be a Hunter. A few bumps and drops won't hurt us. Ya just saw it, my kids were fine aside from being a bit underweight."

"Honestly... I don't know how ya do it."

"I do." Killua confirmed looking at his lover. "Gon is a drop of sunshine." He gave a slick smile, as he nuzzled their noses together. "He saves everyone, because the sun loves everything it shine upon."

There came almost a insister laugh from Kurapika, "Hehe." He wheezed a bit before a shadow crossed his face. "Not really. Gon has left a mess of the Hunter's Association. If your parents weren't so surprisingly evil, I'd recommend you stay there."

"Is it that bad?" Gon whimpered fearfully, "I mean, I don't regret it. But-"

"Keep your head low...if you wanna keep your head." Kurapika suggested then he paused, "Or.. I can just meet you guys were the bomb shelter lets out."

"Yeah, babe.. But we don't know where it lets out." Leorio grumbled scratching his head, "This thing might go on for a while, we did pass a lot of turns where the tunnel split. We always choose the one going upwards."

"Damn, you're right." Kurapika said. The blonde seemed to be shifting some stuff around as he left the view of the camera. His voice came across muffled as he declared, "Guess.. I'm-_- _- gonna ha-_-_ drastic measure-eerrsss then. Time to fi-_- _gang."

"What? Kurapika!" Leorio raised his phone upwards growing panicked, "Your words are breaking up!"

Kurapika returned to the view of the camera. A newly formed determined look on his face, "Ya'll just keep on walking." The sounds of his chains rattling were heard as he rose to his feet, "I'll go do my part. I'll wait for you."

* * *

The walking carried on for a few more hours until Leorio pointed up the dimming phone screen light to a the rusted door. The door was only a few feet away which is what immediately all of them took off running to.

Killua narrowed his eyes. Lowly murmuring, "Is this the exit?" There was weeds vigorous laced in other bugs swarming in them.

Leorio placed his hand on the handle cautiously, "Yeah." He spoke gruffly, "This has to be it."

For a brief moment all their eyes met each other, then slowly found their way to look back at the door. The command for, ' _open it_.' was very clear so that's what Leorio did. It took a little elbow grease and a few kicks but the door swung open to reveal an unexpected sight.

"What the shit?!" Gon threw his hands up in protest, "There is no way we actually walked this damn far!"

What he happened to be referring to was the luxtry bar it appeared that they stumbled into. The wild place had lottery machines with people drinking and celebrating. None of them even seemed to notice over the loud music that two underaged kids had slipped through a secret trap door in the wall.

Leorio closed the door as loudly as it had been opened and not a single soul jumped up in surprise. This set the doctor man on edge as he murmured, "Hold on… Something's not right here."

Killua set Gon down on his feet so he could stretch. "We need to investigate."

Leorio pulled out his phone, "I'll try to call, Kurapika."

Wiping some dirt from his brow, Killua sniffled as he regrained adjustment to air above ground. Darting his eyes around to observe a bit and ensure that they were actually this far away from his house. Blue orbs landed on a person resting between a threshold, "Let's ask them."

Gon gave a nod. Then grabbed Killua's hand to guide him past the crowds of people. Based off everyone outfits they appeared to be actually correctly dressed for the occasion. Chrollo was right once again about wearing a suit and tie. It can make one look snazzy and prepare them for anything.

They slipped past a waitress and a few too happy drunks, avoiding the haze and the champinge as they navigated through to reach the person who seemed to be able to assist them. Upon taking notice of them the person screwed up an eyebrow.

"Are you even legally allowed in here?" They challenged, tipping their hat up curiously.

"Probably not." Gon muttered nervously, "But we would like to know where, here is?"

The person let out a light laugh, "How do you get in this place without knowing where it is?" They grinned a bit as if Gon had told them the best joke ever, "You're funny, kiddo. It's so rich..! Two kids wandering in the bar of fools and not knowing how they got here!"

Gon's brown eyes widened as they dashed side to side anxiously, "Haha..haha?" He looked up at Killua who seemed to be fake laughing right along with him.

Only Killua's face turned grim as he started to pull Gon away from the them. He gave a little wave muttering, "Haha! Yeah thanks.." His pale hand tightened around Gon's as they made their way around some more people. The taller 16 year old beginning to explain, "This is the place that Chrollo wanted me to go and investigate Hisoka at. He needed me to do it because only assassins are allowed inside here."

"Since when is Hisoka an assassin?"

"I don't know these details, Gon! I just said that because it makes sense to why the bomb shelter has an exit this way. That's all I'm sayin."

"So your parents know about this exit?"

"Maybe…? But remember we passed tons of various other routes that we could have taken so.. The odds of them knowing we went here are pretty medium."

Gon's face twisted into one of absolute confusement, "You can't describe odds as medium. I'm pretty sure that's not even proper statistics!" He undid their hands and started counting on his fingers, then after a few seconds he choose to screw the math. Declaring, "We have to get the hell out of he-"

"Hello, little brother." Illumi gave a light grin, stepping out of the shadows. Like a little lap-dog there hisoka was by his side grinning like the foolish clown he was. "I'm not really shocked to see you here. It took you long enough. Mother and Father had me here."

" _NO NO NO NO NO NO."_ Came the rapid chant of voices in Gon's head supplying him a tragic inner monologue.

Illumi placed a hand on Killua's shoulder giving it a rough painful squeeze. Demonically his voice snapped, "keeping me waiting isn't _very_ nice."

Killua cringed a bit, as he slapped Illumi away from him. The boy ready to throw down and fight as he bared his teeth. He snarled, "What you think I'm just gonna let you peacefully drag me back to that hell? No, I bring the storm, I bring chaos and your imminent destruction. YOU MADE A MISTAKE."

Illumi titled his head as if unphased by such a threat. His long black hair fell to the side as his despair leaking black eyes sliced all the tension in the air. Calmly he spoke, "Killua, can we ever just have a normal conversation?"

"MMmm?" Hisoka reached out one of his long fingers to gently cup Gon's angrily faced. The man muttering softly, "Yeah.. we just wanna have a talk about _our_ little ripe fruit here." He massaged Gon's jaw roughly, with a satisfying smirk resting on his lips.

"He's not _our_ , anything!" Killua growled, he lurched at Hisoka trying to buck at him. But Illumi held him back defyingly, making the 16 year old squirm as he complained, "Let Gon go! He's his own strong independent person!"

"Oh really? He's independent..? You think that? But you still make decisions for him."

"No." Gon barked out, "We come to agreements as a team." He cut his eyes up at Hisoka as if it was a challenge.

"I see…" Illumi cut in. He stole a malicious look at his little brother taunting, "So you agreed to have _your_ records erased?"

At the sound of that statement, Killua's eyes were blown. His face turned ghostly pale as he swore the words that lurked in Illumi's eyes when they met blue were, " _checkmate."_

The strong grip Gon had on his water faltered as he choked out, "What?"

Killua quickly tried to over talk his brother, "Gon, listen.. Beautiful."

Illumi was louder and way more proud to spill the beans, "When Killua went on his last mission a few months ago. He cleared your records from the Hunter's database. He is the reason your existence as a person had came to as stunning hault."

Gon's eyes stole a look at his lover. His jaw that Hisoka was still resting his fingers on started to tremble, "Killua..Is that true..?" All of his never ending trust seemed to evaporate into the air as for some reason his world started to shake around him.

Hisoka's eyebrows arched almost playing fake concerned as he whispered, "Oh no...You didn't know about that?" he let out a cruel chuckle, "Oh..oh.. Poor little ripe fruit."

"Gon! Don't you see…" Killua's voice cracked full of desperateness. He was trying to grab on to anything to make his love understand that it didn't matter what happened then. THIS WAS NOW. _That should be all that mattered_. So he began to babble, "They're bringing up the past. They.. they wanna bring up the past to split us apart. If they split us apart then, then they win! We can't let them. We have to keep our family together." Bringing his hand up he brushed some of Gon's sweaty black hair from his face, "You said our love is so-"

"I have tapes!" Illumi chirped out. He deliberately cut his little brother off. "I took a recording of Killua at the hunter's base. He always does it. He does it to clear his trail!"

"No! No! This wasn't for me." Killua said trying not to paint the picture of his selfishness. "This.. it.. For… us! Remember? Everything I do is for you.. For our family!" The white haired male swallowed nervously he could tell just from the shadows on Gon's face that he didn't believe it one bit.

Hot tears started to swell up in Gon's eyes as a rotten feeling sank in his gut at Killua's abstract bewilderment. Suddenly the voices flared back up, " _He knew about it all this time. He knew about how you were suffering over not being a real person! Even when you told him about it.. He never said anything about him doing it! He knew he WAS GUILTY THE WHOLE TIME. HE PLAYED YOU THE WHOLE TIME!_ "

"Go-"

"Don't!" Gon screamed loudly, "I don't wanna hear it! I wanna hear the truth, Killua. If you _really_ love me and…" He placed his hand on his tightening stomach, "Our children... then _we_ deserve the truth, right?"

Killua swallowed dryly a lump forming in his throat as he numbly started at Gon's somber face. He _could_ lie. But if he lied then the video recording would out him. Especially since Illumi was the only one with Killua on his mission that day, there was a high chance that he was recorded. Plus Killua had sworn away lying. Alluka and Kalluto had died because of his lies and Killua couldn't bare to lose Gon as well.

 _Anyone but Gon._

"I'm sorry." Killua whispered barely able to be heard over the loud music. "I'm so sorry, Gon." He tucked his head down letting his white hair fall over his glossy shameful blue eyes.

A very loud breath was taken by Gon, as he inhaled and exhaled sharply. "That's what I thought." He pulled his hand away from Killua bitterly.

Those words coming from Gon hurt more than any kick or punch Killua had ever received.

The 16 year old twitched uncomfortably as he felt Gon's touch leave him. Gon's presence drawing farther and farther away from him. There was like a new wall put up between them, like they didn't even know each other anymore. It made Killua's heartthrob uncontrollably as he began to plead, "Gon, wait! Please, not here.. Not like this...or.. Or _over this._ Let's just _never break up!"_

Grinding his teeth together, Gon couldn't even bring himself to face Killua again. Grimly the pregnant boy kept walking as tears rolled down his face. "Next time, ask to marry a person whose heart you _aren't_ gonna break."

"GON!" Killua desperately grabbed the back of the boy's shirt pleading, "Listen! Listen! I CHANGED! I'm a changed man now! You _know_ it. That mistake was in the past, baby boy. All should be forgiven. Think of all the shit we've been through! It changed me. You set loose all that loving kind shit in my heart." He spun the pregnant boy around, viciously mashing their lips together. Each kiss he spoke in between, "Did I ever tell you, I love you more than words can express? I can't ever imagine even loving you less."

Gon cringed up feeling a familiar touch of lips meeting each other, it didn't break his stern facial expression, nor shatter any hostility in the air. Instead Gon gave Killua a light push back. Firing off, "The day you, KILLUA ZOLDYCK, and I, GON FREECSS, ev- "

"Target's confirmed." A police radio voice broke through with a crackle, " _FIRE!"_

Under those words the whole mood of the bar switched out, guns were drawn and tables were flipped as bullets went whizzing through the air. Gon didn't know what happened really- how suddenly chaos corrupted the mood. All the hostility inside him flipped to terror, as an officer grabbed him roughly.

The police snapping Gon's head back snarling, "You're gonna go away for a long time."

" _Away. Away from your family~! Away from everyone you loved!"_ The voices mocked as Gon was swung to ground viciously, a swarm of cops wasting no time surrounding him.

The 16 year old tussled back barking, "Hey! _Hey_ you can't do me, like this!" He struggled to wiggle away as he found himself being thrown in handcuffs. The sharp metal cut into the sides of his wrist as Gon hissed, "I want MY RIGHTS READ TO ME!"

"Hehehee.." A gun was locked and loaded, the head of it pressed firmly to Gon's brain. Hisoka smiled cruelly as he kneeled down to apologize, "Sorry, ripe fruit. But where you're going you don't need to _know_ your rights." Snapping his fingers he backed up barking, "Alright. I want an easy execution. Gon's head is mine to keep once it's blown off, Illumi promised."

Leorio was yelling something at an officer who was steadily holding the old man back from knocking the shit out of everyone on the police force.

"What the hell?" Killua screeched ducking in fear of being shot, "You called the police to kill Gon?" His tone was rough and almost a bit broken.

The police chief was barking commands, "Don't move! Don't move! You do _anything_ we will aim to kill!"

"Isn't that illegal?" Killua sneered, his face eating the dirt on the floor.

"DEAD PEOPLE TELL NOTHING. AND WE'RE NOT PAID TO ACT LEGALLY, WE'RE LAW ENFORCEMENT!" The chief laughed cruelly, as Ilumi slipped money in his back pocket.

"Haha!" Illumi's twisted laughter filled Killua's ears in slurs, "One step ahead. Little bro. ALWAYS ONE STEP AHEAD! The sad thing was.. I didn't even have a recording." Illumi confessed. "You got played in your own finesse game." He leaned inwards intimidatingly, "If you would have only lied one more time. YOU COULD HAVE KEPT GON BY YOUR SIDE; NO ONE COULD HAVE DIED!"

That fact slapped Killua verbally, automatic his blood boiled with rage. "Damn you bastards!"

There Killua was helpless—watching everything he worked for crumble. The cold floor pressed on his back and the air conditioning blowing in his white hair. All Killua could do was blink upwards at the crazy light show of death over-head. Somehow Killua figured that the bar fit the people who came in here.

 _They were all fools, weren't they?_

 _Everyone._

 _Everything._

 _Fools in this game called "life."_

Gon threw his hands up loud sobs escaping his lips, "Please! Spare my kids all they did was live! Just let me...let me die after I give birth!" His voice cracked as he cried at the top of his lungs, "PLEASE!?" All the tears flowing down his face made staying still hard enough especially being so huge. All the pressure on his belly couldn't be good, and the sudden stinging pains went warning signs off in his brain. Instantly he repeated, "After I give birth! _After_! AFTER!" He ushered over and over again trying to drill the message into their skulls that something was going on with him right now.

"Yeah, right! You know how many people use that lame, ' _Im going into labor'_ excuse?" A cop mocked as his hold on the gun remained unwavering. Then a dark smirk crawled over his face as he commanded a subordinate, "Hey come over here and kick him, right in the stomach."

"Please no-nonono! PLEASE NO!" Gon gawked out as he saw a large boot heading toward his already throbbing midsection.

"Get your hands off him!" Killua bellowed sending a thunderclap of lightning over in that direction. The electricity zapped all around his body as he snarled, "Back away! Can't you see, he's in pain! Leorio's a doctor let him help!"

"We have other ways of numbing pain around here _boy_!" A grizzly like man smirked maliciously, yet before he could pull the gun trigger very loud pops shot through the air.

The bullets coming from outside landed directly in the grizzly man's heart sending the giant man tumbling to the ground like an oak tree. All eyes followed the path outside the broken window, to see the face of a determined blonde. Gray eyes blazing like smoke from a fire, focusing down the barrel of the gun. His lips curled up sinisterly, "I WILL NEVER let anyone massacre my family _again_." Kurapika waved the gun around without hesitation demanding, "So who the fuck is next?"


	37. Don’t shake the embryo Gon! (37 EnD)

"Easy now." A familiar voice cut in. A hand was placed on Kurapika's shoulder as a few figures came into view. The gang leader smiled a bit as he snapped his fingers sending the spider members inside through the broken window, "We'll take it from here. Well the slaughtering Hisoka part that is." Chrollo crackled amused at his own joke.

"Oh boy. Should have known brats stick together." The police chief spat, motioning at his team to close in on the sight of a more worthy prize. The forced focusing on taking down the infamous Phantom Troupe. Luckily that gave Killua enough time to hustle over to Gon.

The 16 year old whimpering silently to himself as he looked up at his lover with painful brown eyes. It was like all his previous anger had faded and was now replaced with sorrow. "Killua…" He took a low shuttering breath trying to collect himself, "I..I think the police knocked out our connection. Our kids... t-th..eeehey don't trust me to take care of them anymore!"

"Sh..sshhh." Killua tried to silence him, "Yes they do, it's just time for them to come out." He bit his lip nervously not knowing if him and Gon were still on rocky ground. "Can I pick you up? You need to get to a hospital."

Gon nodded weakly, allowing Killua's warm embrace to comfort him from the overwhelming pain going off in his midsection. He groaned, "I didn't think it would be this difficult."

Leorio hustled over, running alongside them. He seemed to sense what was taking place, "You'll be fine, Gon. You're doing well not freaking out."

Kurapika waited at them by the window, helping them get out into the peaceful cricket chirping night sky. The blonde saying, "We came here in Chrollo's car. We can use that to get to the hospital."

"The destroyed one?" Killua asked a tad bit perplexed.

"No, kid. The fuck?" Chrollo snapped at him. The man jumped back out the window himself glaring at Killua harshly, "You think I'm that broke to where I only have one car?" He pulled his set of keys out of his pocket, hitting the button the car's headlights flashed.

It was a nice Audi R8 looking fresh as heck. The slick black design matched the car frame wonderfully.

Killua kept his head low not drawing much attention to the older man. The boy was still bitter over everything as he hissed, "This is why you wanted me to come here, right? Everything you did… for this moment." His broken cloudy blue eyes flashing, "Chrollo."

The man chuckled, "I knew you were a smart one." His earrings bounced mixing in his jet black hair as he leaned over to put an arm over Killua. "Kiddo. In life there are mistakes and the only way to correct them is to annihilate the ones who wronged you."

"You SAID I WOULD BE A BETTER PERSON IF I LISTEN TO YOU!"

"And you ARE! Gon is a better person too. The fault is in others, your parents, the Hunters Association and Hisoka… they're all such terrible people. And it's our job as The Phantom Troupe to rid the world of trash like that."

Killua stared down at the road unable to meet Chrollo in the eyes. There was still so much for him to learn, so much about life for him to comprehend and yet…

"Hehe!" Killua couldn't help but laugh, amused to his funny bone over the whole ordeal. This was pathetic, _he was pathetic._ There was nothing left to be said but the burden resting in his heart. Killua mumbled, "Always have been always will be. Heh, If being a rebel means cleansing the world I'll follow you till the ends of the earth. In the name of justice and protection of my family."

"Ya see, that's what's wrong with you Killua. You're a bad guy but you're also a good guy and that's the worst possible way to be." Chrollo smirked a bit. "People like that keep on losing."

"I don't think so." Kurapika objected. The blonde seemed pissed at Killua for following after Chrollo yet at the same time a twitch of admiration. "I know what I'm saying won't change your mind, but isn't that the same thing you do.." His eyes darted over to Chrollo as he growled, "Asshole."

"Guilty as charged." Chrollo confessed throwing his hands up innocently, "So now, Kurapika here I am. I'm right before you, you could kill me." It was a slick offer, a devious one because his smirk grew, "But you know that really makes no difference now does it?"

Holding back an outburst, Kurapika looked at Gon. His shoulders sagged weakly, finding the world mocking his own cowardice. The blonde knew of the darkness growing within Gon and flames of insanity burning bright. No denial would come on his part of his upsetting mental state.

Gon was helplessly whimpering, and he had his trust placed in all of them right now. Kurapika wasn't about to let him down.

"I said Gon wasn't ready to be a mom. He was too young, too immature, and all _you_ did was prey and take advantage of that." Kurapika snapped, his eyebrows knitting up. "I don't believe you discovered charity in this late date." Boldy he pointed his chains at Chrollo's chest, "You've done all you can to spite me. And you can claim this victory, because you _used them to your advantage._ "

Chrollo couldn't help but nod, he loved when a perfect plan came together. _He really did._ Wise on his part of course, the brilliance of all this fell on his accord.

Clapping his hands together he applauded, "This is far too kind for my gangster soul really." He clicked his tongue, "Too sugary." Carelessly he tossed his key ring to Killua. "So I'll make my exit but take my condolences."

Killua's eyes widened slightly, "A pair of keys to your car?" Fumbling with catching them a bit trying to still keep Gon in his arms. He was baffled, "You're gonna let me drive, Gon to the hospital!"

"Yeah along with the keys to all my secrets."

"I thought you said you didn't want us to have it?"

"Well someone has to take over my gang when I'm gone." Chrollo gave a little wink. Taking off his fur coat he delicately draped it over Gon's trembling body. Promoting, "You'll need this more than I do kid. Keep it warm for me." Chrollo flipped his hair up as he flexed his muscles. "When the time comes tell the world my story."

Gon groaned weakly nodding his head, "I'll tell of your legacy." The discomfort in his belly was getting worse but he felt like he was in no position to complain. He let his head fall back as Killua gracefully carried him to the car, watching the man was walk away throw up a friendly thumbs up. Almost as if saying, " _That's the spirit kid."_ A destructive furious spirit at that, but it was better than just standing around and doing nothing.

Carefully Gon allowed Killua to lay him in the backseat of the car. The boy was still trembling slightly, so Leorio slid in beside him.

"Let me drive." Kurapika said sharply, jumping in the front seat.

At first Killua was so surprised he almost banged his head on the roof of the car. "But Chrollo gave me the keys!"

"You don't even have a drivers licenses!" Kurapika rebuked, holding out his hand. "Plus you need to be back there with Gon anyway. Ya know, that boyfriend moral support energy." Saying that must have encouraged Killua to give it up, because he tossed Kurapika the keys. He jumped in the back, settling in he lifted Gon's head to rest upwards in his lap.

Kurapika started up the car, and threw it into gear as he put the pedal to the metal. At the sheer force, Gon yelped. "Kurapika! Holy heck!"

"You wanna get to the hospital of not, Gon?" Kurapika pressured, spinning the wheel hastily to turn on the mainroad. Mashing the gas harder sent them speeding past cars.

"Ahhh!" Gon let out a slight cry, feeling more discomfort. "Yes! I…. _fuck_ this really hurts." He felt an awful cramping in his gut, his back began to ache and his muscles seemed to spasm in small bursts.

"Should have listened to me." Leorio said in a matter-of-fact voice. The doctor was still being rather resourceful despite being ignored for so long. He pushed up his glasses and went into hero mode. "Now, Gon you have to breath. And try not to push, not yet okay?"

" _If you didn't fucking breath, you would be fucking dead!_ " The voices in Gon's head snarled, rather aggressively.

All Gon could do was whimper as he nodded, rubbing his head against Killua's arm. His breathing was quick and shallow, as he gazed at his friends with glossy brown eyes.

Delicately Killua kissed Gon's forehead, "It's going to be alright sweetheart. You'll be fine. You're brave and beautiful right now." He placed his thumb to rub comforting circles on the apple of his lover's cheek.

Gon fought back a scream. It was terrifying to know that for some people labor took _hours_. Gon was not about to be one of those people—this was too much.

"Killua! Killua! If..when we get there…? Te-tell. I need!" The boy scrambled to find words as blood rushed out a place where he wished it _really_ hadn't. Gon shuttered at the absurd sensation and yelped a bit as tears pricked his eyes. Frantically he concluded, "C-section! C-section! Oh God! Pleeeeeeaaaaasseeeee!"

"Okay!" Killua confirmed. He ignored the pool of blood that was staining the seats of his new car now. He was doing his best to pretend a good cleaning would wipe away this scar implanted in his memory.

"Kurapika, gas it harder. Gon's water just broke." Leorio commanded. He flinched when Gon let a raw screech escape from his mouth.

The pressure of contractions was making Gon's insides ache. But he couldn't push, Leorio told him NO PUSHING.

" _But you know you want to! You want to get them put as soon as possible. Silly, Gon. Silly for forgetting you're still a boy and your body was not made for delivering life._ " The voices chanted out like a choir. " _Gon has gone so far from home. Desperate to escape other people, reality and the truth._ "

The speed of the car increased, and Gon felt Killua grab his hand. The taller boy uttering, "You're burning up." He quickly rolled a window down.

A heavy gust of wind provided a quick relief down every bone in Gon's body as the thin t-shirt threatened to leave him bare. He mouthed the words, "Thank you." It was sad that he was unable to form sounds other than cries at this point.

"Hydration." Leorio reminded, he reached into the pregnancy emergency bag on the floor. The man's black locks blew wildly as pulled out a bottle of water.

Killua's pale finger tapped on Gon's chin, signaling for him to open wide. Helplessly, all Gon could do was hold his head up as Leorio gently tilted the open bottle to pink lips. Gon's adam's apple bobbled as he sucked the liquid down to cool his hot flashes.

"We're almost there." Kurapika informed them, blowing past a meaningless red light. He swerved in the car ignoring all the angry horns honking behind him. His eyes stole a glance through the front mirror, to see them huddled around Gon in the back. "Next turn."

" _You should be fucking thankful! You really should. You have people who would do anything for you—people who HAVE done any and everything for you._ " The voices in Gon's head reminded him. " _You hurt them again and again. But they have never ending love for you._ "

Stunningly despite all the rudeness there was truth in the voices.

Allowing his eyes to finally flutter shut, his spirits boosted in hopes even knowing that the past couldn't be changed and all was said and done, Gon felt peace cradle him. Gon knew that he couldn't rest when there was stuff to prepare for, but for some reason closing his eyes reminded him of home.

Home was with: Killua, Leorio, Kurapika, Aunt Mito and all his other friends.

Home was filled with: joy, suffering, learning, happiness, and passionate love.

Home was were Gon's deepest scars lingered—even despite society trying to cast him where they thought his part is.

Home was… no _Home is_ anywhere that Gon felt safe.

* * *

Hospitals smelled like an unholy marriage of bleach and medicine. Or maybe it only smelled like that because of all the drugs that the nurses shot Gon up with. The 16 year old was high as heaven above; it felt like he'd died and gone to it.

There was shouting and scrambling around. At some point Killua had flaked out and let go of Gon's hand since gross stuff was not his fancy. Kurapika had stayed with him every step of the way. The blonde whispering words of encouragement as time passed.

Gon had no clue if he blacked out or what. Everything was too foggy and his brain couldn't connect the dots of everything rushing around him. All he knew was there was random burst of claps, spontaneous crying after a loud cheer.

"Congratulations! You did it, Gon. You did it!" Kurapika encouraged as he rubbed the younger boy's shoulder. "You're a mother now."

A weak smile crawled on Gon's face, he gripped the ends of the hospital bed. He couldn't find his voice in the moment, but his eyes managed to find his offspring. Tiny little humans, squirming in the cloth they were wrapped in. Loud crying escaping their small lips, it was incredible how something so small could yell so powerfully.

It really was lovely, a bit gross and really bloody but lovely all the same.

Leorio was holding one, he was rocking the small baby so delicately. The baby was wailing, face all red with anger probably wondering, ' _what happened and were am I?'_

In an instant, Gon wanted to reassure his child that, _they were home._ He meekly held his hands out.

Kurapika took two of the triplets and instructed Gon, "Hold your arms like this." He motioned to how he was carrying them.

Steadily the 16 year old gave a nod, as he felt the new warmth of fresh life encase his grip. A tiny hand balled up in a tight fist reached upwards, slowly unraveling fingers. Gon marveled at the moment, as he looked at his precious little ones.

One of the baby's cries dropped to sniffles as Gon murmured, "I have been waiting to hold you all for a long time." His voice sounding like his throat was sore and dry, probably from the screaming. He gave a kiss on both his kid's cheeks.

Glossy blue eyes blinked unsurely, a lost look lingering. The baby didn't understand but began babbling, stretching its other hand upwards. Kurapika dropped his fingers down and let a small hand wrap around it.

The blonde smiled at the sensation, as he turned to Gon complimenting. "They're cute. But they're so little and frail…" He dropped another one of his fingers down, the chains rattling a bit. At the new sound, the baby giggled, trying to stretch and mess with the silver trinket.

Their sibling squirmed uneasily as they lowered their cries. All wrapped up, perplexed eyes reflected the same brown as their mother.

Gon gave a friendly hum, "Welcome home." He figured people should say, ' _Welcome home'_ instead of ' _Welcome to the world._ ' The world was too much of a dangerous place but here at home, Gon could hold his children close and keep them safe.

A voice that was usually more aggressive and brass, cracked lightly, "Is it over?" Notably, it came from Killua, who stuck his head in with hands over his eyes.

Leorio snorted, "The hitman is afraid of a little blood."

"Ex-assassin." Killua quipped, peeking through his fingers.

The doctor on site gave a little nod, and Gon promoted Killua onwards. Meekly his face pressed against the pillow as he motioned, flipping his disheveled hair. "Hey." Gon croaked out, "Come meet your kids."

A fresh set of tears sprung up in Killua's eyes. A swarm of thoughts filled his head mainly centering around, ' _Im a father!'_ He whimpered a bit as he shakily walked forward. Until tenderly he reached out just barely enough to touch a slick patch of black hair. "It's so soft." Killua whispered.

"Come on don't be scared." Leorio fired off. The man halfway finding amusement in Killua's hesitation. He shifted the child over, holding their head up to usher the small human in Killua's arms.

The 16 year old shifted uncomfortably on his feet, as a soft cooing sounds escaped the baby's mouth. The child in Killua's arms reached out to tug on the wild strands of white hair. A gentle touch reminded Killua of everything as he cried a tad bit harder. "A-Alluka." The name came out his mouth delicately despite all the venom that should have been laced in his tone. All he could do was repeat it _over and over._ "Alluka. Alluka. Alluka."

Kurapika gave Killua a light nudge, kindly reminding him, "And Kalluto." He pointed at the sweet child refusing to let go of his finger.

Killua sobbed louder, "Little Kalluto!"

The child giggled as Gon raised up the darling on his left. It seemed like he wanted to hold her up like Simba from the Lion King. Happily he added in, "And Pegy." In a sing-song voice.

"Our precious little Pegy!" Killua cried, he took a couple steps closer towards his lover.

Tenderly, Gon reached up to nuzzle Killua's tears. Leorio hovered over them teasingly enjoying the moment. "Awe, Killua. I thought you didn't cry anymore? Big boys don't cry, remember?"

Killua sniffled lightly, "I'm not crying. This me expressing my happiness." He opened up his arms ready to embrace everyone.

"Bring it in." Kurapika said.

They encased each other in a loving squad hug. Pleasantly, Gon closed his eyes, this time in the belief everything would be alright.

* * *

"Gon….oh, Gon. My precious nephew." The sounds of low sobs and hot tears falling on his flesh woke Gon back up. A shaky grip clenched around him in a long hug. "I'm sorry. He loved you so much. He _really_ did care."

Stiffly Gon shifted around, the skinny bed not providing much room. The 16 year old came more to his senses at the sight of his Aunt hovering over him. Gruffly he mumbled, "Aunt Mito?" He reached his arms up to hug her back, tears stung as he repeated, "Aunt Mito! Ahh!" Unconsciously he spoke out the greatest fear in his mind, "Am..am I dead?"

Never in Gon's wildest dreams did he think he'd be meeting his aunt here. He was meeting his aunt in the same place he'd once told her goodbye— _in the hospital room._ Currently his heart was overflowing with glee, bursting with so much love he had to pour it out in his tears.

The woman pulled away slightly, scanning how tore up her nephew's expression. A nervous smile slid on her face as she cradled him, running her fingers through his fluffy black hair. Mito reassuring him, "No. You're not dead."

"You're alive?" Gon said in disbelief. It was hard for him not to believe he was gazing at an angel. Honestly he didn't give a damn about himself anymore, he saw his kids exist safely. There birth marked in the hospital with cameras and a computer plugging in information to print a birth certificate.

"I'm alive and so are you." She seemed so happy by the fact. So enlightened that she gushed, "I love you. I love everything about you. Even when you do stupid things like disobey me."

At the declaration, Gon felt his world slowly begin to spin in reverse. _Things didn't add up…_ "Why are you crying then?"

Mito sniffled, her eyes softening as pity took hold. Pressing her lips together she took a rough breath, "It's Ging."

Just like that Gon felt his heart drop. Stealing a look down at his now flat stomach, he fiddled his fingers. The boy was too afraid to sit up or ask about his father. Fear stole his voice away on the subject all he could do was stare at his grief heavy aunt.

The woman sighed, "I should start from the beginning. You've been knocked out for 4 days." She hunched over, letting her touch drift away from Gon. "I got a call before they operated the c-section. They needed a guardian's approval since you're still a minor. I gave it to them of course and rushed right over."

"But...You were in a coma."

"I WAS in a coma. I woke up after one week. Once I discovered you skipped town with Killua, I kinda put it all together."

Shamefully Gon's eyebrows knitted together. Guilt released from his eyelids as water fell from his face, "I'm sorry. We should have used protection. But it was so spontaneous, I didn't know I didn't think t-"

His words were cut off by Mito informing him, "I'm not mad about Killua being your baby daddy." She rubbed her temples, shaking her head bitterly. "You didn't _tell me_ it was him. I swear you're SO GROUNDED. You're grounded...for..till.. college."

"For, till college?!" Gon gawked in disbelief. "But..."

"FOR TILL COLLEGE! It's what you get for causing a mess. You need to communicate better. Then...maybe…." Closing her eyes she whispered, "This could have all be prevented."

Gon had heard the case of his reckless actions taking control of his fate again. Once more it was like Gon and Killua's destiny was forever set in stone.

Swallowing dryly he tried to ignore the rotten feelings in his gut. Gon felt his bottom lip quiver as new doubts sank into his mind. A wave of panic washed over him. Desperately he shouted, "Wh-w..where are they?"

"Who…?" Mito responded with a troubled look on her face.

"My...MY KIDS?! WHERE ARE MY KIDS?" Gon shouted unable to control the crack in his volume. Snot dripped from his nose as he whined, "Where is Killua?

"They're fine. They're in the room with all the other newborns. Killua just went to check on them. He's been running back and forth." Mito told him gently, trying to relax her nephew. She didn't want him to strain himself after doing so much.

Despite the relief that washed over Gon, he still felt troubled. "B-but..what did you mean then? Does it have to do with Ging?"

Mito frowned slightly, "Yes. Ging...he has done a terrible thing." Her voice fell as her heart crumbled to pieces, "He killed the Hunter's Chairman. He admitted it soon as I called him up and told him abo-!" More heavy sobs stole her voice away as she found herself unable to articulate real sentences. "You! He. For you. Everything! That complete trash can...loves you, S-sssssso so so muuuuch!"

A slightly headache made Gon close his eyes. The voices in his head were going off like a loud siren, " _Only for you Gon. Nothing is stronger than a parent's love for their child. Ging killed for you took the fall for you._ " He didn't have to ponder much after this because the voices informed him of his Hunter Association knowledge.

" _With the death of the Hunter's Chairman, it voids all investigations into you and Killua's criminal activity. You're both free, men_."

Automatically Gon's face lit up, "And Killua knows!?"

Responding like a loyal pet coming to their master, Killua opened up the hospital door. He walked in with his white hair bouncing to the extra pep in his step. "Do I know what?"

"Killua!" Gon shot up in bed automatically. He felt so relieved to see Killua not behind bars in a jail cell.

The tall boy was content to his lover awake. Killua hesitated slightly to come over, knowing the delirious haze of child birth had worn off he feared rage. Shyly he crept near his boyfriend. "Gon...How are you?"

Gon's eyebrows mashed together as a lower rumble came from his throat. "I'm fine. Well… not fine. I'm okay." The ends of his lip curved, "You know about Ging."

"The asshole framed me for murder them confessed so…" Killua shrugged it off, "He got me out of handcuffs. Saved my life." A grateful look washed over him. "He allowed me to be with my family."

Gon cut his eyes, "You're not upset? He lied." He spat it out bitter, that Killua didn't show empathy for his old man.

"Kurapika explained everything to me." Killua uttered, his voice grew uneasy. "I honor his efforts. But I don't ask people to take the fall for me. So nobody should have." He took a deep breath as he gnawed on his bottom lip. "You're dad? Ging… the man is _real_ crazy. It sorta made me reflect on…" just like that he stopped changing the subject, "Anyway all this to say, I admire his dedication to protect his family." His sight wavered away from his boyfriend as he said under his breath, "Unlike me. I..I never meant to hurt you."

"Killua…" Gon speculated, "I won't forgive you. But I'm not angry either. Just bothered… annoyed… pissed." He blinked open his eyes staring into eager blue eyes. "Yet family is supposed to do that to you. I did it to Aunt Mito and she _still_ said she loved me. It's just a learning process, tolerating how other's love. _To love everyone_."

"Gon…" Killua muttered reaching out he delicately cupped the sides of his lover's face. He held him tenderly leaning forward to press their foreheads together, "I'm sorry. I want you to feel safe around me, like you can tell me anything. You don't have to, but I just hope you feel like you can open up your heart to me. Because you can, without judgment. I want to make up for the things you lack. Because you staying by side makes up for things I lack! Just...just... give me more ch-" He choked on the word: _chance_ because deeply a rumble in his heart warned that people like him didn't deserve a chance. Instead he traded out the word for, "Hope. Your smile saved my life...it gives me hope. It soothes my heart and brings an irreplaceable light in my life. So give me more hope."

"Killua..." Gon rewarded him with a life saving grin as his eyes dazzled. He moved his hands to hold onto his wrist. Giving them a light squeeze as he murmured, "I thought about what Kalluto said, about how love is when you lie for somebody." He gently closed the gap between them. Their lips met for a quick second—then Gon spoke again, "However from now on you have to promise, no more lies between us. If we're gonna be partners in crime, we're gonna do this right."

Heck, Gon barely knew about himself, or about what tomorrow would bring. But he _did_ know about him and Killua.

Gracefully pale hands wrapped around tan ones. So Gon decided just to savor _this_ , the moment, seeking protection in the shadows pranking his mind.

 _If Gon was the sun,_

 _If Killua was the moon,_

 _If their children were the planets,_

 _If they created the world,_

 _Things would be different.._

Squeezing their flesh together Killua pressed a quick kiss on the side of Gon's cheek. His hot breath tickling the back of his ears as he whispered, "Things _w_ _ill_ be _different."_ Heavy optimism was laced in his voice.

Gon nodded in agreement, "It will. For our children. We'll make it better."

* * *

 **This book finished with 9,040 reads! Thanks for the fun. When I made this book I never thought it get so much attention.(ﾉoヮo)ﾉ:･ﾟ*sends online hugs***

 **I'm not the best at ending stories so the epilogue(s) are some cute moments with the babies and family drama. Those will come out whenever I get inspiration? I might make a new book, next year instead of making an LONG epilogue. (So far the epilogue is 10,345 words and it has more plot about Killua struggling being a father, being a gang banger and taking care of Gon. YeAH!) It just depends...** **But this is officially the last chapter. Thanks for reading! Thanks for all the reviews! Sending—Lots of love and support!~Mel**


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